Chapter 1

Transition
I'm standing in front of the mirror, surveying my refection. It
seems like days are moving in a faster phase. I'm now in my
last highschool year, a senior student.
how will things work !ill it "e great #ow a"out.. him..
..$nyway, past is past% #indi na pwedeng "alikan, hindi na
pwede ang take two, hindi din pwede ang rewind% I might as
well make one step forward to moving on. !ala naman na
'kong magagawa kung gano'n talaga. There's a greater life
ahead of me naman eh. &n'oy lang. (eah%)
I lectured myself in the "ack of my mind.
*"ilisan mo na dyan.."uti pa si 'elaine kumakain na..*
*sandali nalang..matatapos na po ko.*. I muttered "ack while
com"ing my hair.
That's my mama. +he always complains a"out my
sluggishness every morning. &h pano "a naman inaantok pa
ko..syempre kukupad talaga ko.
,y the way, I'm #ilary $nne -ale .elarante. I study at the
+chool of +aint Thomas. I studied there since highschool and
for the past two years, nothing special happened in my life,
'ust typical. /ast year naman medyo nag0evolve..marami
akong nakilalang friends sa "atch ko pati na rin sa i"ang
"atch. $t ngayon last year ko na 'toh% $yoko pa nga maging
senior eh kasi pagkatapos nito, gagrad na 'ko then iiwan ko
na yung school at magkakahiwa0hiwalay na kami.. 1h
well, that's life.
Philosophy #1: You have to learn how to move forward
like everybody does. You can't stay stranded in the
past forever.
That's part of my /ife -uide) na napag0isipan kong gawin
ngayong senior na ko, mga rules to live "y, my point of views,
perhaps my outlook in life which I write in a note"ook. !ala
lang, trip trip lang naman. 2aya ayun, I really need to move
on from the pain that I felt "efore and accept the reality that I
can't stay as a highschool student forever. I should condition
myself that soon, I will "e progressing to college.
/uma"as na ako ng kwarto para kumain na din. +i 3elaine
naman, tapos nang kumain ng "reakfast na niluto ng papa
namin. 4y sister is one year younger than me.
!hen we arrived at our school, there were already umpteen
students. #indi muna ko umakyat sa room..naghintay muna
'ko ng mga friends na magiging classmates ko. 4ag0se05678
am na nung umakyat ako kaso wala 'kong nakitang ka0close
ko na ka0section ko. +a i"ang section sila na0designate. 4ay
nakita akong friend sa room..hindi ko nga lang ganun ka0close
pero ayos lang. +a kanya nalang ako tuma"i tapos
nakipagkwentuhan.
/ater on, dumating ang adviser namin, si teacher /e9, a new
teacher. $s usual, magpapakilala ka sa harapan, dedescri"e
mo sarili mo, mag0iisip ka ng kung anong pwedeng mag0
sym"oli:e sayo.."asta mga ka0ek0ekan then i0nayos niya
yung seating arrangement.
*hi, name mo*
I turned my head to the right side to see who's asking.
*mine's hilary..yours*
*ahh..'ust call me 4ike. ;ice to meet you seatmate.* he said
with a smile.
+o siya pala ang naging seatmate ko sa right side, may
pagitan nga lang na space kasi may aisle pa eh. 4ichael
Cedric -uerrera..I heard a"out him when we were in third
year highschool, he's shrewd and talented according to the
other students. +a "otohan ng class o<cers, he won as our
class president.
I met new friends, new teachers, new su"'ects, new
classroom, new environment% $fter 1 month..naka0ad'ust na
din ako sa pagiging senior girl..kahit pano
1ne day..
*ssh..there's an announcement..* teacher /e9 said in front of
the class.
pero di muna siya nagstart kasi maingay kami.
*ois+st% =uiet muna..may i0aannounce daw* 4ike instructed.
*have you heard when will you "e going to have your
retreat*
*hindi pa po..* the whole class answered.
*it will "e on friday ne9t week. $nyway, there'll "e a letter
that will "e given to you a"out the details naman. 1kay,
moving along, let's start our lesson..*
on the circular given6
"Retreat is an activity, which facilitates the spiritual
development of the students. It is a means for the students
to develop their relationship with the Almighty God and foster
relationships with their classmates and teachers. This is also
a way for the students to realize their purpose in life and fnd
ways for them to e worthwhile, critical and active memers
of the community.!
$ccording also sa circular, mag0oovernight stay kami in a
retreat house somewhere in $ntipolo.
>>>
$fter one week, the day has come. I woke up early to ?9
myself. @agdating ko sa school, pumunta na 'ko sa covered
court at hinanap ang line formation ng section ko. n(e $ng
konti palang namin &h actually medyo nalate ako kasi ang
"agal ng nasakyan kong 'eep tapos ganun lang yung
population +a i"ang sections konti rin mga tao. @asaway
"atchmates ko .aming late eh%% Aparang ako..% B min. late
lang naman ako eh..eh cla%C +a"i sa orientation, D678 kami
aalis su"alit dahil sa mga napaka0o"edient kong mga ka0
"atch, 5688 na kami nakalayas%
@agkatapos ng "iyahe, mga E kami nakarating. @agdating
dun hiniwalay ang "oys sa girls. #iwalay ang dorm pati na
ang session hall namin. 2i0non?scate naman ng mga
teachers yung dala naming cellphones para nakafocus lang
daw kami sa session.
t. ;ikki6 girls..listen% we will distri"ute you to your
rooms..ok the names that i will call, kayo0kayo yung
magiging mag0roommates..
@inapunta muna kami sa kanya0kanya naming rooms para
ilagay ang mga gamit namin don. @ag"alik namin, dumating
si ,rother ,rian. +iya ang mag0hahandle samin. The session
was a"out worshiping -od, family, love, friendship, trust and
so on.
"rother6 oh, "reak muna..punta lang kayo dyan sa ka"ilang
room, andyan pagkain niyo tapos "alik ulit kayo dito after.
girls6 opo "rother
+a ka"ilang dako .i ko alam mga kaganapan sa mga
"oys.."asta nagse0session din sila dun..pareho lang naman
siguro nung sa'min.
$fter a few minutes, we went "ack to the session hall at
nagtuloy lang yung mga activities. @uro activities katulad ng
pagsayaw, pagkanta, meron ding discussions a"out sa mga
"agay0"agay wherein may matututunan kami a"out our
lives. ;ot too long ga"i na din. There a came a point na nag0
lights oF kami pagkatapos eh nagpatugtog sila ng sad music.
#a"ang tumutugtog yun, nagsalita si "rother tungkol sa
parents. @ano daw kung namatay na sila ;akapag0thank you
na daw "a kami If ever we neglected them, will "e ever a
chance for us to regret and say sorry That was made for us
to reali:e crucial things. +iyempre drama galore and yeah, I
cried.
Philosophy #2: Always acknowlede your emotions!
"hey serve a purpose and should never be inored.
,ecause of the talk that the "rother gave us, marami akong
natutunan.
$fter that, it's already time for us to have some sleep. 4y
roommates were 3oy, 2ry:l, and &rlyn so we all lay down on
our "eds.
*hindi ako makatulog%* I complained after some time.
*ikaw din* &rlyn spoke.
*pareho lang tayo..* 2ry:l concurred to the "oth of us.
*hindi din ako makatulog. magkwentuhan nalang muna
tayo..* 3oy suggested.
*oo nga naman% so.. how is every"ody's lovelife ako kasi, I
once had a "oyfriend "ut we didn't take each other seriously
so we 'ust "roke0up eventually.. &rlyn said.
*ganun "a hindi ka "a nahirapang mag0ad'ust after your
"reak0up* 3oy asked.
*I guess not. ?rst year palang naman kasi ako nun. hindi pa
ganun kaseryoso so nakarecover naman ako kaagad..* &rlyn
e9plained.
*actually, i don't have time for relationships yet. +aka na yun%
hanggang crush lang muna ako pero hindi ko na sila maiisa0
isa ah, madami akong crush eh%* 2ry:l chuckled.
*pareho tayo% puro crush lang din ako eh. anyway, i have a
crush on a guy in the other section kaso i don't know him eh
"ut he's cute..* 3oy shared. *hey #ilary, how a"out you*
*ako i haven't undergone any relationship yet.. i'm still
single.* I paused for a while. *ut I already fell in love
efore..* I murmured.
*then what happened* 2ry:l in=uired.
*uhmm.. "y the way, i en'oy "eing single naman eh%* I
tried to say anything 'ust not to answer the =uestion further. I
don't want to talk a"out that.
They 'ust continued chatting a"out crushes, relationships,
and stuFs. I listened to them "ut I didn't talk too much. I 'ust..
I 'ust don't want to share what happened last year. $fter
a while, I 'ust decided..
..to fall asleep.
Chapter G
+ociali:ing with +omeone ;ew
-inising kami ng mga teachers para pumunta ulit kaming
lahat sa session hall. In0announce na this time,
pagsasamahin na daw nila kami with the "oys kasi
magkakaro'n ng misa around 18688 am. ,ago yun, "reakfast
muna. @agkatapos kumain, naglakad0lakad kami ng mga
room mates ko nang may nakita ako.
*hi girls% namiss niyo ko* +i 4ike%
ako na yung sumagot. *hinde% "a't ikaw namiss mo kami*
*hindi rin%*
hah% -umaganti lang 'toh eh% @ali"hasa hindi yung in0
ee9pect niyang sagot yung sina"i ko. $ng presko naman kasi
ng pagkatanong niya eh. $kala niya ah%
.inaanan lang namin sila ng mga kai"igan niyang taga0i"ang
section. ;aglakad0lakad muna kami kasi mamaya
pagkatapos ng misa, aalis na din kami sa retreat house.
$fter ng misa, as I've said, lumayas na kami. @agkarating sa
school, "igayan ng letters. 4adami akong "inigyan% 4ga
close friends in the other sections pati mga clasmates
including na dun yung mga di ko ka0close.. waah..kakapagod
din sumulat ah% ,ago umuwi, nag0cr muna ko kasama si 3oy.
;ag0ayos ako ng sarili tapos luma"as na din. #a"ang
naglalakad kami sa corridors..
*#ilary%*
+ino yun /umingon ako sa likuran ko. *"akit* I in=uired.
*thank you sa letter ah..gra"e% ang dami kong na"asa%*
3ake said then he "eamed at me.
$ng ironic naman nito% 2onti lang kasi sinulat ko dun eh.
(ung tipong ingat, -od "less, good luck, etc..ganun. ;atawa
tuloy ako.
*ang ya"ang naman nito%* I 'oked. *kung ayaw mo akin na
lang ulit*
*hindi, 'oke lang% na0appreciate ko naman eh..thank you ulit.*
*okay, wala yun..* I said then 3oy and me continued walking.
*"inigyan mo siya* 3oy was wondering.
*yeah, "inigyan ko pero hindi talaga kami close. 4adami lang
talaga kong "inigyan ng letter kahit di ko ka0close*. I
answered her.
*ahh..i see. I thought close friends kayo.*
*i don't know him that well..*
*gano'n "a yang clasmate natin na si 3ake /ynden
+alvatierra, "asket"all varsity..kinda popular din. gwapo kasi
eh..*
*oh..okay..*
I 'ust nodded while listening to what 3oy was sharing a"out
3ake. $s I went home, nagpahinga muna ako, may pasok
kina"ukasan eh. Then nagrefect ako tungkol sa mga "ago
kong reali:ations sa retreat. ;agkaroon pala ako ng "agong
intimate friends. I mingled with diFerent people which led
me to "e who i want to "e.
Philosophy ##: $now how to treasure precious
people. At least one person cares for you% life isn't a
waste.
;adagdagan yung /ife -uide ko. ;aisip ko lang, dapat
ipakita ko sa mga taong importante sakin kung gaano sila
kahalaga sa "uhay ko. .apat iparamdam ko yun. +yempre,
make new friends din. ;aalala ko yung cellphone ko..oo nga
pala, nai"alik na sa'min after kunin ng mga teachers para
itago muna nila nung retreat% yes% @wede akong mangalap
ng cellphone num"ers para makate9t ko mga classmates ko
to let them feel na andito lang ako para sa kanila. .i ko pa
kasi nakukuha yung mga num"ers nila eh. 4eron naman
akong i"ang contact num"ers pero konti lang eh kaya
kailangan ko pang magtanong.
Tine9t ko si $llysa yung isa kong classmate, humingi ako ng
mga "usiness cards. 4ay nareceive naman ako..naka0unli
yun eh. 4arami0rami rin. &di sinave ko sa phone "ook ko.
.umadagsa% $yan nanaman. +ave% Tapos dumating yung
num"er ni 3ake% a"a% ;akuha pala nitong girl na 'toh yung
num"er nun -aling ah. .ahil naka0unli naman ako, tine9t ko
ng mga =uotes yung mga trip kong ite9t. (ung mga hindi
nakakakilala ng num"er ko, nagtanong kung sino ako then
nagreply ako at sina"i ko. Tapos nagte9t sa'kin si $llysa ng
chain letter. Ilagay ko daw name ko sa dulo tapos ipasa ko
para hindi ma0"reak ung chain. ;aka0unli naman ako eh kaya
pinatulan ko. Iniisip ko kung kanino ko ipapasa. +uddenly,
naalala ko si 3ake kaya ayun, sa kanya ko nalang pinasa.
/ater on, I felt "ored so I decided na magcomputer
nalang..matagal0tagal din. Tapos sinilip ko ung cell ko. ;ag0
te9t si 3ake kaso when I checked the time when did he te9t it,
kaninang0kanina pa pala. $ng tagal ko kasing nag0comp eh.
;aka0silent pa man din yung cp ko kaya di ko napansin yung
message.
+ender6
'a2e
HD7E1E>>>>>>>
si hi"ary # talaga$
continuation..
nako% 4akapagreply na nga. ,aka nainip na yun, ga"i na eh
tapos hindi ako ka'gad nakapagreply.
+end to6
'a2e
HD7E1E>>>>>>>
oo, a= 'toh.."aket
;agreply naman siya agad.
I'akeJ6 ang tagal naman mgreply..kanino mo pala nkuha no.
ko
IakoJ6 sowee ah..nagco0comp 9e a= eh..kay allysa..
I'akeJ6 naisGr"o " kta
IakoJ6 hindi nmn.. stah naman kayo nung retreat
I'akeJ6 ok nmn..eh kyo
IakoJ6 ayos din naman. hay, kainis noh meh pasok ka'gad
tom..kakagaling lang natin sa retreat eh..
I'akeJ6 honga eh..nkkpagod di"a..
IakoJ6 yah, sina"i mo pa..anyway, i'll go to sleep..see you
tom nalang..g'nyt%
I'akeJ6 ok..nyt din..K
4atutulog na nga ko..maaga ulit akong gigising "ukas eh.
;ew found friend si 3ake%
well, that%s nice.
Chapter 7
$m I Leal
$s usual, maaga akong nakarating sa school. ;aka0lock pa
ang room tuwing dumarating ako. Mmuupo ako dun sa three
step stairs sa may "andang pinto. ;aghihintay lang ako. $ng
tagal naman dumating ng mga classmates ko.
$fter 78 min. nagkaro'n na din ng tao at na"uksan na din
yung room. 4asmaingay na ang room since mas naging
close ang isa't0isa.
$ng pro"lema nga lang eh madaming na0late na mga seniors
kasi nga pasaway "atch namin. Including mike% Class
president pa man din oh..tsk, tsk, tsk.
;oon every "reak time, kami lang ni 3oy ang magkasamang
kumakain, hindi ko nakakasama yung "estfriend ko na si
-iselle kasi nasa i"ang section siya kaya minsan magkai"a
schedule namin. ,ut things are diFerent now, kasama na din
namin sina 2ry:l at &rlyn. -umaan ang loo" namin sa isa't0
isa since nung retreat. @ati na din pala sina Carla at 3hoyce,
nakakasama din namin. ;aging ka0close ko silang dalawa
kasi sa"ay kaming tatlo lagi kapag umuuwi.
$ng "ilis ng araw. .ismissal na pero hindi man lang kami
nagpansinan ni 3ake, as in yung personal. 2ahit nung
nakasalu"ong ko siya nung "reak time, tiningnan ko siya para
kung tumingin din siya sa'kin, ngingitian ko, kaso deadma
lang eh. $no "a naman 'toh% !ala "a akong presence%
2aga"i lang magkate9t kami ah% o "aka nakalimutan na
niya% ugh% @arang hindi kami friends ah% hmmpf%
4oving along, hindi ako ka'gad umuwi. Tumam"ay lang
muna ako sa classroom.
/uma"as muna ako para pumunta sa terrace sa harap ng
classroom nang maramdaman kong nag0vi"rate ang cp ko.
+ender6
'a2e
HD7E1E>>>>>>>
e/ow..K
#inanap ko kung nasa'n siya. 2onting lingon0lingon lang at
nakita ko siya na natatakpan ng isa ko pang guy classmate
ha"ang nag0uusap sila sa may pinto.
+end to6
'a2e
HD7E1E>>>>>>>
n(e..mgkalapit /ng tayo t: ngtt9t kp%..ano kea un..
;apansin ko siya na sumilip sa'kin tapos may message akong
na0receive.
I'akeJ6 chinecheck ko lang kung ikw nga ung kte9t ko kg"i..
IakoJ6 gn8n a= nga 'toh eh%
#indi rin siya makulit noh% +ina"i ng ako nga yung kate9t niya
parang ayaw pa maniwala ah.
I'akeJ6 okay.."at d kp umuuwi
IakoJ6 wuh/a /ng..tam"ay /ng..ska ngkkwenGhan p cna
car/a N 'oyce sa loo"..sila ks"ay =ng umuuwi.."t ikw
I'akeJ6 ahh..hnhntay = p kc mag0B..may training kmi mmya
eh..
IakoJ6 a#h..honga p/a noh mon. ngeon..meh training p/a
sa ""..
I'akeJ6 oo nga..
,igla akong tinawag nina Carol and 3hoyce, uuwi na daw sila.
*oh sige, wait lang..* I told them.
@umasok na ako sa room para kunin yung "ag ko ha"ang
nagrereply kay 3ake..
IakoJ6 ui, uwi na daw sila eh..ss"ay n =..geh.."ye
I'akeJ6 ok..ingat..K
;ang paalis na kami, nadaanan namin siya pero deadma
talaga $no "a #indi "a niya ko nakikita ;on0e9isting "a
ko @arang ang layu0layo namin sa isa't0isa ah% &h ayoko rin
naman na ako yung unang pumansin sa kanya kasi nahihiya
ako.
Philosophy #&: 'o matter how near or far% friends will
always be friends. "his is how true friendship is
tested.
,aka ganun nga. Oriend na rin naman siguro ang turing niya
sa'kin kahit hindi kami nag0uusap ng personal. ,aka nahihiya
lang din siya. Isa pa, hindi pa naman kasi kami ganun ka0
close para magchikahan all through out the day, right
!ords don't have to say it, nararamdaman ko naman yung
friendship namin eh..
..I guess$
Chapter P
4ysterious $ngel
;akauwi na ako. ;agpahinga at ginawa ko ang mga dapat
kong gawin sa sala. 4aaga akong natapos sa mga
homeworks. @umunta na ko sa kwarto at nag0sound trip.
Ina"angan ko lang ang mga latest music. I sighed. @arang
ang peaceful yata ng "uhay ko ngayon. $t least hindi ko na
naiisip si..ugh% ano "a yan% *$t least hindi ko na naiisip si*
tapos dahil sa naisip ko na *at least hindi #o na naiisip si* na
yun "igla ko tuloy ulit naalala% I'm feeling the in'ury again.
The pain when I knew I was in love "ut..
+o I recalled..
I was third year highschool way "ack then. 1ne morning
when I've "een from my locker, I was walking along the
corridors carrying "ooks and stuF when $nthony ;ivene:, a
senior student, accidentally "umped me so he oFered to help
me carry those things to my room. #e was my schoolmate.
$fter our collision, we "ecame friends.
Then one afternoon, a senior girl student approached me.
*so..ikaw pala yun* she was glowering at me. *ang cheap
naman% walang0wala ka pa sa kaling0kingan ko%*
*huh sorry..I don't get you..* I was wondering what she was
talking a"out.
*di'"a ikaw yung nakikita kong kasama ni $nthony I'm telling
you or should I say, I'm commanding you..layuan mo siya%*
*wait..who do you think you are to give me such an order* I
countered.
*wag ka nang pumalag% 'unior ka lang, senior ako%* she
raised an eye"row then remained glowering.
$nthony suddenly emerged out of nowhere and thankfully
saved me from having to respond to the taunt.
*total nandito ka na $nthony, mamili ka% siya o ako%* she
con?dently asked e9pecting that she would hear the answer
she wanted.
*sino ka naman para piliin ko% malaki ang respeto ko
sa'yo..ng mga ka0"atch natin sa'yo. 4atalino kang "a"ae
pero ano 'tong ginagawa mo% +enior ka nga pero mas0
matured naman si #ilary mag0isip kaysa sa'yo% ;akakahiya
ka%%* he countered.
*"ut anthony%* the girl called out.
$nthony totally ignored her and hauled me along. #e
"rought me to the school's garden. !e sat there and talked.
*wag mo na yun pansinin% @asensiya ka na ah* he sincerely
pleaded.
*"a't ka humihingi ng pasensiya #indi mo naman kasalanan
kung patay na patay sa'yo yung "a"ae eh..* I 'ested. #e 'ust
chortled along with me.
&very time there's a chance that we would "e together, he
always makes me feel special. #e has this personality which
has depth, very interesting. +o that's why he captivated me.
I assumed he also liked me since he's so nice to me "ut one
day, I reali:ed that I shouldn't had assumed.
*ui, game na kasi..sa"i mo sasa"ihin mo na sa'kin kung sino
yung girl na gusto mo..*
*oo nga..pero saka nalang..hindi ko pa naman nililigawan
eh..*
*kilala ko "a*
*oo% kilala mo talaga%*
2ilala ko pala eh. 2ilala ko daw talaga% Could she "e me
*sino..alam "a niya na you like her*
*I 'ust don't know 'cause I haven't told her yet..*
*sino "a* I nudged him.
*okay, ang kulit mo naman eh* then he smiled adora"ly.
*ayan, hindi mo pala ako matiis eh* I responded 'okingly.
*oo nga eh..hindi talaga kita matiis% ikaw kasi eh% "a't "a ang
lakas mo sa'kin..
I 'ust gave him a smile.
*yung girl.. si shiela*
*you mean, yung classmate ko*
*yeah, sa"i sa'yo kilala mo eh..and you're friends, right*
*we're friends "ut not that close.* I coped up with a smile.
*so, kailan mo popormahan* I asked.
*i don't know eh..*
$t that moment, I felt my heart tore apart% 2aya ayoko
pag0usapan love life ko eh. ;asaktan kasi ako. ;agmahal
ako ng taong may i"ang mahal. $ng masaklap pa dun,
umasa ako na ako din yung "a"aeng gusto niya. !ell, i was
wrong.
Philosophy #(: )on't e*pect that what you ive will
always be what you would take in return.
$s I snapped "ack to reality..
#indi porket mahal ko siya, kaya rin niya akong mahalin. It's
not that way. $fter he graduated, we lost touch and I didn't
tell him my feelings for him. That reminiscence always seems
to "e a deterioration to me. @hilosophy QG says I should
never ignore my emotions. !hat does a girl like me got to
do I can't help it% 4y tears fell "efore I already knew it. I
'ust let it. !hen I reali:ed that I was 'ust wasting my time
crying, I tried to stop. $ll of a sudden, I received a message
so I read it. It's from an unknown num"er which read6
+ender6
HD7EG8>>>>>>>
cn i " ur angel, please
4ag0aaplly para maging angel ko +ino naman 'toh
;awawala "a utak niya
+end to6
HD7EG8>>>>>>>
huh angel hu's dis
$yaw yata magpakilala ah. #indi pa nagrereply eh. Then
mga 18 min. ang nakalipas, nagreply din naman pala.
IunknownJ6 you know hu i am..
IakoJ6 ri/y den hu r u nga
IunknownJ6 i ': thought dt u wud want to have me in your
life..i'm hir Pu..so, can iK
IakoJ6 sa"i mo i know u d" gurl or "oy
IunknownJ6 yeah, u know me..i'm ur angel which was sent
Pu..K i'm a guy of cors..K
IakoJ6 sorry, i don't know hu my angel is..and i don't think i
hav one..so =uit 'oking around%
IunknownJ6 'oking of cors not% u hav one, i'm ryt hir..ayt
u don't hav G know my name, a name is 'ust a name..m/man
mo man ang name ko o nde, w/ng m""go..i wud stil like G "
ur angel..so cud i ask ur permi9onK
$yos 'tong kung sino mang nilalang na 'toh ah%
IakoJ6 if evr i wud agree..wat wud u garanty me
IunknownJ6 u cud trust me..andG ako lagi pra syo..'ust te9t
me up if u nid sum1.."a"antayan kta at poprotektahan..u
don't hav G do anythng in return..': let me..okK
#indi ko alam kung seryoso siya sa mga pinagsasasa"i niya
"ut I think agreeing to him won't hurt, right !ala naman
sigurong mawawala.
IakoJ6 ?ne, ikaw "ahala. "y d way..do u ri/y know me
IunknownJ6 oo n4n..K
IakoJ6 how come
IunknownJ6 angel mo nga kasi ako d"K
IakoJ6 sa"i ko nga eh.. if i dnt know ur name, anong
ilaGgay = s fone"uk ko
IunknownJ angel mo..K
IakoJ6 a#h.. wer did u get my Q p/a
Tinadtad ko talaga ng tanong%
IunknownJ6 i have my own ways..
That made me curious. I should discover kung sino "a 'tong
angel na 'toh..I should ?nd out%
2aso lang..
&a%no nga a$$
Chapter B
4y 4ove
$yan na. 4alapit na. +ige pa. 2onting "ilis pa. 2onting0konti
pa. $no "a..malapit na, 'wag ka nang maatat #ilary% @ero 'di
na ako makapaghintay.. waah.. 1h% malapit na malapit na%
$yan na nga%
*giselle%%* I s=ueaked.
*ui% hindi pa 'ko nakakatapak sa room namin, hinarang mo na
'ko agad dito ah%* she retorted in surprise.
*ayaw mo nun ina0a"angan kita miss na kita eh% nung
natanaw na nga kitang parating, atat na atat na kong makita
ka kaso ang "agal mo naman maglakad%*
*gano'n naks ah%* she said in an amusing way.
-iselle /u:moor is my "estfriend. $ pretty lass% I always
con?de all my secrets to her. 4insan kapag "reak time na
namin, sinisilip ko yung section nila pero may nagdidiscuss pa
na teacher sa kanila kaya hindi nagtatagpo ang aming
sched. $t least magkapit0"ahay naman ang sections namin
kaya lagi kaming nagkikita pero hindi masyadong
magkasama hindi tulad nung dati. ;evertheless, like what
@hilosophy QP says, this is how true friendship is tested,
right
*new updates* she asked.
*yeah, i have this..ahmm..mysterious..angel* I responded
am"ivalently. /ahat ng details pina0alam ko. @inakita ko
yung num"er at chineck niya ang phone "ook niya pero
wala. #indi niya rin kilala.
$fter nun, oras na para magklase kaya "umalik na kami sa
kanya0kanya naming clasrooms. Tinanong ko rin sina 2ry:l,
3oy, Carla, 3hoyce, and &rlyn. +o far, no progression ang
pagreresearch ko. +i $llysa na napagkuhanan ko ng mga
"usiness cards..a"a% !ala sa phone "ook niya $ng dami
kong pinagtanungan% @romise% 4ali"an kay 3ake syempre.
;ahihiya ako eh. -inalugad ko din lahat ng mga kakilala ko
sa school, mapa0anong year level man sila. Ininteroga ko
pero sa huli..ako'y "igo.
*haay..* I uttered in e9asperation. +inu"so" ko nalang ang
mukha ko sa desk.
*#ilary $nne -ale .elarante..what's the pro"* a male voice
said.
Inangat ko ang ulo ko at lumingon sa "andang left. #indi siya
yun. 4ay kadaldalang i"a eh. &di sa right side naman. +iya
pala. 4asmalapit ang distance niya sa'kin ha"ang nakatingin
sa mga mata ko.
!hoa% &ye to eye contact $yoko pa naman na tinititigan
ako ng matagal..naiilang kasi ako. Close up na close up pa
yung mukha niya.
*full name pa talaga*
*why ang ganda kaya ng name mo%* it's 4ike.
*talaga lang ah*
*yeah, for me it's nice. #ey, okay ka lang "a*
*oo naman noh%*. I fashed a smile afterwards.
*Come on% $no nga*
*"akit "a*
*mukha ka kasing may pro"lema eh..nakasu"so" ka pa dyan
kanina.*
*ahh..yun "a !ala yun, napagod kasi ako kakaresearch
eh..tapos hindi pa succesful*. I sighed.
*research for what !ala pa namang "agong pro'ect ah*
I chuckled. *para sa pro'ect lang "a ang pagre0research*
#e smiled. *ayy..hindi "a pro'ect para sa'n*
,ecause of e9asperation, I didn't get what he last said or
asked. There was silence.
Then he "roke in. *hmm..pahinga ka ah $lam mo kasi, we
should also try to rela9 and lighten up. +top trying so hard to
do something "ecause forcing things to happen when they
are not supposed to will 'ust cause frustation. 2ung ano man
yung nire0research mo.."aka hindi ngayon yung time para
matapos mo talaga yun..huwag mong pilitin masyado for
now.."aka mapa"ayaan mo sarili mo eh. 3ust an advice..*
!as that 'ust what i heard +i mike -anu'n siya ka0concern
sa'kin I'm so "lessed pala to have a friend like him.
$nd yung advice niya #anep% $kala ko puro kalokohan lang
alam nitong mokong na 'toh eh. @ano "a naman, kahit class
pres. namin siya, pasaway% 4adalas na0le0late, tapos kapag
in0o0o"ser"ahan ko siya, ang hilig makipag"arahan,
mangtrip, mang0asar, ang harot pa.
@wede ko palang i0dagdag yung advice niya sa /ife -uide ko.
Philosophy #+: "ry to rela* and lihten up. ,top
tryin so hard to do somethin because forcin thins
to happen when they are not supposed to will -ust
cause frustation.
+omething 'ust suddenly popped up into my mind. "sa dami'
dami ng napagtanungan #o, hindi #o pa pala siya natatanong
#ung #ilala niya yung mysterious numer e(cept pa #ay
)a#e* +a#alimutan #o siyang tanungin* Ano a naman yan*"
,ut 4ike's right. I should not force myself to know who my
so0called angel is. In the ?rst place, that person doesn't want
me to know his identity after all. @erhaps someday, when the
time is right, I would "e a"le to know who he really is so
"etter not coerce this time. ,etween ask or don't ask, i would
go for the don't ask option for now.
*4ike, tn9..I think you're right..* I uttered.
#e 'ust "eamed at me. Then he looked away since one of my
classmates called his attention and talked to him.
>>>
I found myself at home. /ooking outside my window at
nothing at all when my cellphone a"ruptly "eeped. *ugh%
;ice% 4y moment of senti was 'ust ruined% how perfect could
it "e%* I sarcastically wailed. *sino naman kaya 'toh*
+ender6
a;ge/ =%
HD7EG8>>>>>>>
hey..K
ahh..yung dahilan lang pala kung "akit ako napagod kanina.
IakoJ6 yes
Iangel =J6 wala lang..'ust want to check if ur ok..
IakoJ ahh..i'm ?ne..thank u..kw
Iangel =J6 au: lang a=..gwa mo
"nagse'senti sana #ung hindi #a lang nagte(t*" I wanted to
say. There are times that I en'oy "eing alone. !hen I'm all
"y myself, I feel so li"erated. Oree from outer infuences. ,ut
of course, I deviated my reply.
IakoJ6 nkahiga, nagsa0sound7p lang..u
Iangel =J6 wala naman..
IakoJ6 ui, i know u dnt want me G know ur identity..pero..can
i 'ust ask something
Iangel =J6 ok..
IakoJ6 kung kilala mo ko..may posi"ilidad "a na skulmR kTa
Iangel =J6 acGly, skulmRs t/ga tyo..K
IakoJ6 if dat's so..anong yr "atchmR
Iangel =J6 hmm..kasi dat's all i can tell for now..
IakoJ6 i see..
Iangel =J6 K
$t that point, I didn't reply anymore. I went "ack to where I
am a while ago, "y the window.
Tama pala yung iniisip ko, nasa iisang school lang kami pero
sa dami ng tinanong ko, wala talagang nakaka0alam kung
sino yung may ari ng num"er na yun.
*#ilary, chill% remem"er the philosophy QD get it got it
good% now go to sleep na%* I nagged myself. I went oF to
"ed already. ,ut I'm still thinking..
..sino a talaga siya$$
Chapter D
I 4et &9hortation
;ew day. ;ew mood. ;ew feeling. &verything seems a
pleasure to me. #ow I wish everyday would 'ust "e like this.
*oi% ang daldal mo ngayon girl ah%* &rlyn tapped me in the
shoulder as she emerged from my "ack while I was talking to
my other classmates. +he has a =uerying grin in her face.
*madaldal kaya talaga ako% 4asmalakas lang "oses ko
ngayon.* I responded. I looked at her face again containing
a silly smile this time.
*"aket* I chortled and she 'ust shrugged her shoulders. +he
sat at my desk and looked at me suspiciously from head to
toe as if trying to look into my soul, scrutini:ing every part of
me.
*ano "a mukha "a akong kriminal* I 'oked.
*kaka0i"a kasi aura mo ngayon eh%* she claimed.
I smiled at her. *4aganda lang siguro gising ko kaya ganon.
$ng sarap nga ng feeling eh.*
*good for you* she responded in an elated manner.
+ilence suddenly struck the classroom. Teacher ;ikki, our
&nglish teacher crossed the threshold and went in front of the
class to start her lesson. +he kept on discussing and inserted
something a"out an activity. It goes like this..she will "e
going to group us randomly and assign us on a speci?ed
date. 1n that particular day, we will "e going to perform a
variety show which will serve as our recitation grade.
+omeone will "e assigned in "roadcasting, poem or song
interpretation, and "ook and movie review according to the
decision of each mem"ers. ;ot too later, she asked us to
count oF from one to ?ve for us to "e grouped. 1, G, 7, P, B..
Tapos na ang time for &nglish nang matapos ang pag0group
sa'min pero sina"i niya na ne9t week na raw ang start ng
pagperform so we "etter have a meeting with our
groupmates to get ready.
4y groupmates are 4ike Ayeah, it's impossi"le for me to have
him as a groupmate since we're seatmates and we had a
count0oF system "ut he switched places with someone that
time so now it's possi"le. @asaway talaga yun, naki0pag0
e9change pa ng upuan.."uti hindi napansin at napagalitan ng
teacher.C, &rlyn, and two other guy classmates.
;ung dumating na yung ne9t teacher, "umalik na ulit si 4ike
sa upuan niya, sa right side ko. ;atakot siguro, strikto kasi
yung sumunod na teacher eh.
*#ilary..* 4ike murmured.
*oh, "aket* I uttered carefully to make sure our teacher
won't hear us while he's discussing in front.
*mamayang dismissal, wag ka munang umuwi, may meeting
tayo* he said cautiously, pretending that he was listening to
what our teacher was saying. I nodded in response.
>>>
+ome of the groups didn't have a meeting. I don't know,
kampante sila eh. +ince he's used to leadership, we all
agreed na si 4ike ang gagawing head sa group namin.
;apag0alaman ko din na si 4ike pala yung the type of person
na kinakarir lahat% 4apa0anong activity man yan, gusto niya
maganda. +a mga year level contests nga, gagawin niya ang
lahat para manalo yung section namin. @ati sa "attle of the
"ands last year, i heard na todo practice ginawa niya noon sa
pagki0key"oard for his "and to win "ut unfortunately, they
lost. &h eto, may grade na involved pa kaya gusto niya
prepared talaga yung grupo namin.
*yung "ook and movie review kayong dalawa ah* he pointed
to my two guy classmates. The two agreed.
*ako nalang sa "roadcasting* &rlyn re=uested.
*actually, yun naman talaga plano ko eh* he smiled.
(un naman talaga plano niya Tapos yung natitirang option
nalang, poem or song interpretation, which means..
@oem or song. Choose "etween the two. I can already sense
what he's planning for me..err..rather for the "oth of us.
+ince he loves music..
*hala% ayoko% wag mo kong pakantahin%* I sharply refused.
*"akit +a"i nila musically inclined ka daw..di"a Ikaw
kakanta, ako tutugtog.* he reassured me. ,ut I don't have
the gutts to sing in front of my family which has a population
of only three people in our house..eh ano pa kaya yung 00PG
minus the ?ve of us "ut add our teacher00people%
*4ike% wag na yun..mag0poem nalang tayo..sige na..* i
pleaded. $ctually, I do love singing "ut perform ;o%
*poem kasi "oring yun eh..masmaganda yung song* 4ike
insisted.
*oo nga, "aka mastumaas grade natin kung song
interpretation yung gagawin niyo* &rlyn concurs at 4ike's
idea. !hoa% !ala akong kakampi% (ung dalawa naman
naming ka0group pagkatapos ma0assignan lumayas na eh.
*no way%%* I "itterly said.
*yes way%* they "oth uttered as a come"ack.
*"ut..* I wanted to decline once more.
*no more "uts%* 4ike demanded.
*pero..* ayan ah #indi na yan but okay pero nalang%
*kasi hindi ko kaya% 4adami sila masyado, feeling ko hindi
nila ma0a0appreciate yung "oses ko% kung gusto mo, si &rlyn
nalang pakantahin mo o kaya yung dalawa pa nating ka0
group..wag lang talaga ako. ;ahihiya akong kumanta%%* I
said furiously.
&rlyn and 4ike looked at each other. 2ina"ahan ako%
@arang nagkaintindihan sila sa tinginan nilang yun ah%
4ukhang may "ina"alak.
*asa ka pa sa'kin. +intonado ako kumanta di"a saka wala
ka namang interes sa news% Trip mo ang pagkanta, mas?tted
ka dun..+aka eto pa, 'pag pinakanta natin yung dalawa pa
nating mem"ers o isa man sa kanila, hindi nila aayusin yun%*
&rlyn reasoned out.
,efore, &rlyn tried to sing when we were together with 2ry:l
at the school =uadrangle when most of the students already
went home. +ad to say, she always sings out of tune. +he's
right. $nd yes, I don't have awareness and concentration
when it comes to news and current aFairs. +he's right again.
I like singing pretty much. +he's right again and again. 1ur
two group mem"ers are not fond of doing such things like
that so they might end up not doing it seriously which will
aFect our grade. +he's right again and again and again% ugh%
*#ilary, sige na kasi..;oon nung kumanta si &rlyn nung
magkakasama kayo nina 2ry:l di"a napilit ka naman nilang
kumanta* 4ike "roke in.
*oo nga kaso wala namang i"ang tao nun eh..kaming tatlo
lang ni &rlyn and 2ry:l yun* I defended. Teka lang, kasasa"i
ko lang, kaming tatlo lang yun, eh "a't alam niya yung
tungkol dun
*nandun din ako, hindi niyo lang napansin pero narinig kita%*
he imposed while staring at me.
*narinig mo pala eh..mahilig nga akong kumanta pero pangit
yung "oses ko%* I really won't give up. I don't want to
perform%
4ike pulled his chair closer to me, he was doing this eye to
eye contact again.STcolorU *naririnig mo "a yung mga sinasa"i
mo #ilary% narinig ko yung "oses mo and..* then he smiled.
*you have a nice voice%* &rlyn continued. *pati nga kami ni
2ry:l nagandahan pero ayaw mong maniwala%*
*please naman% you may "e right "ut don't push it%* I
said.
*#ilary%* 4ike insisted again.
I remained =uiet looking at the foor.
*$nne%%* This time, his voice "ecame louder.
-ale%) $nd louder again.
+ige, tawagin "a naman ako sa lahat ng pangalan ko ,asta
ayoko% Tapos% @eriod% ;o more further encouragements%
*hey, think a"out it..madadamay pati grades namin 'pag
hindi mo ginawa* 4ike's voice turned in a more serious tone.
!aah% ;angongonsensiya% .rat% I think I should give in
this time.
Philosophy #.: ,ometimes you've -ust ot to do what
you've ot to do.
*4s. .elarante% ano na* he asked earnestly.
*1kay, chill% gagawin ko na% nakakainis kayo% !ala na, talo
na talaga 'ko..* I "emoaned.
*+o, you'll do it nga talaga* 4ike asked with a smirk.
*may magagawa pa "a 'ko% ginagamit niyo pa yung grade
pangonsensiya sa'kin eh%* I indignantly retorted.
*oh ayan, practice tayo starting tomorrow ah dadalhin ko
yung key"oard ko* #e was satis?ed and so was &rlyn.
4or"id was the word which kept running on my mind playing
chasing with the word mercy "ut unfortunately, mercy was
caught. ;atutuwa sila sa magiging pagdurusa ko% $ng ganda
pa naman ng gising ko kanina% hmmpf%
Chapter 5
!ill I +ing or I !ill +ing
I went home with this ve9ed feeling which kept on upsetting
me. 4e $s in only me will sing in front of the class ,y
ne9t week !hy me !hat have I done wrong to accept
such a punishment Oor me performing in front of people is a
chastisement% I don't have the gutts% It's like I'm 'ust
humiliating myself in front of people. I have the feeling it
wont turn out as something which is de?nitely, a"solutely,
purely, utterly, totally, and surely ?ne% ;aman eh%
$fter dinner and doing homeworks, I plunged into my room. I
think I made a mistake. !hy did I gave up arguing with
them I should have demanded my 'ustice% It's my human
right to choose what I want and don't want to do. #ey, oo
nga. ,a't hindi ko yun na0i0"anat sa kanila kanina%
*eh ano naman kung sina"i mo yun hindi ka "a
makokonsensiya kung pati grade nila madamay group work
yun, remem"er 2ailangan niyo magtulungan kaya wag ka
nang umangal noh%* I ponti?cated to myself. I looked like
some kind of a certi?ed person talking to no one in
particular. &r..may"e I'm talking to someone..myself
*hoy% para kang sira dyan% sino kausap mo hangin* 3elaine
"roke in laughing not even knocking at my door. 4ay"e she
did, I 'ust didn't hear.
*yup, kausap ko si mr. and mrs. air pati yung anak nila na si
wind. &n'oy nga sila kausap eh. Try mo minsan.* I
immediately thought as a come"ack. +he raised her eye"row
and threw a you0already0caught0a0malignant0foolishness0
syndrome gawp at me. !hat should I suppose
*no need, matino pa naman ako eh* she responded. *may
phone call ka*
*sino* I asked "ut she 'ust turned her "ack and shrugged.
I stood up to go to our living room and reached for the phone.
*hello sino 'toh*
*hello..it's 4ike..* he answered "ack.
*oh.."aket pa'no mo nalaman landline namin* I asked in a
pu::led tone.
*nahanap ko sa internet..akalain mo yun nandun kayo..sikat
pala family mo eh.* he 'oked.
*nye..ang corny* I deridingly commented.
*'oke lang..nakuha ko kay &rlyn, tine9t ko kanina* he went
"ack to his normal tone.
*"a't ka napatawag*
*mangangamusta lang.."akit masama*
*oo masama%*
*"akit naman anong ginawa ko sa'yo*
*"asta% ano nga seryoso na..ano sasa"ihin mo*
*sasa"ihin ko lang sana na..* he paused.
*na ano*. I demanded.
my gusto sana akong sa"ihin saVyo..) he started once more.
importante Wtoh para saVkin, lalo na sa nararamdaman
ko..kasi ano..) his voice toned down.
$ng tagal naman ng sasa"ihin nito%
*ano na%*
*gusto na kita..
.."igyan ng "inggo%* he laughed on the other line.
*ang corny mo talaga%*
*haay, hindi kita nahuli dun ah% $kala ko magugulat ka sa
sina"i ko eh.*
*whatever% $no na nga%* I'm getting furious this time.
*ita0tanong ko lang kung anong song yung gusto mo para
mahanap ko yung ta"s..*
*ikaw na "ahala. +ige, "ye* I ended our conversation
without even letting him reply.
;asa"i ko "a noon na isa siyang "lessing ,ina"awi ko na%
#eVs a nuisance% $ menace% I can't stand talking to him with
my mood right now. ;akakaasar eh% 4atapos akong pilitin
sa ayaw kong gawin mang0aasar pa sa phone%
;agpaalam ako sa parents ko na magkakaro'n kami ng
practice "ukas tapos "umalik ulit ako sa kwarto nang
napansin kong may natanggap pala akong message sa
cellphone. +ino pa nga "a It's my so0called angel.
Iangel =J6 kamusta
IakoJ6 "adtrip ako eh%
Iangel =J6 "at naman any pro"
IakoJ6 meron talaga% @inipilit "a naman kasi ako ni 4ike,
classmate and class pres namin na gawin ko yung ayoko%
Iangel =J6 "at anong gusto niyang ipagawa sayoK
IakoJ6 pinapakanta n'ya ko for our group activity sa english.
in front of the class% eh ayoko, nahihiya ako eh.
Iangel =J6 ahh.. y naman I'm sure magaling ka naman
kumanta..K
#e's sure &rr.. @a'no mo nasa"i yan eh hindi mo pa naman
siguro ako naririnig noh%
IakoJ6 no% ur wrong% I'm not con?dent enough..
Iangel =J6 kailangan mo lang "umili" sa sarili mo. i know u
can do it if u would 'ust try. trust me, alam kong kaya mo
yun..K
$lam mong kaya ko &h ako nga hindi ko alam na kaya ko
eh.."a't ikaw alam mo Ikaw nalang kaya kumanta kapalit
ko..angel naman kita di"a iligtas mo ko%%
IakoJ6 so u mean, i really should sing
Iangel =J6 yup%K
!aah.. pati siya hindi kumakampi sa'kin% angel "a talaga kita
o ikaw yung demonyong kakampi ni 4ike% grr..
IakoJ6 ano "a% pati "a naman ikaw% is that really d right
thing to do, huh
Iangel =J6 i think it's not d right thing nor the wrong thing to
do..u 'ust have
to try..K think a"out this6 if -od gives u something u can do,
why in -od's name wouldn't u do itK ,asta, "elieve in urself
lang..
I would make that as a part of my /ife -uide. Philosophy
#/ , that is.
IakoJ6 tn9..K
!hat a pep talk% I must admit, it's rather eFective. #is
encouragements worked, kung sino man siya.
okay, I made up my mind, wala na 'tong atrasan, kahit
naman umatras pa 'ko sigurado namang itutulak pa rin ako ni
4ike eh%
;ot too later, dou"t crossed my mind once again.
magagawa ko nga "a yun ng maayos ay% oo nga naman
pala.. ;aim"ento pala yung word na *practice* noh Tama,
magpapraktis kami..I will do my part kahit na napipilitan lang
ako. +ino nga naman ako para magreklamo..eh siya yung
leader ng group%
-ame na talaga. "i will sing..may choice pa a$*"
>>>
The ne9t day, 4ike kept on looking at me in a silly way
especially when thereVs free time and no teacher is around. I
donVt want the attention heVs giving me, itVs not normal
anymore.
pro"lema mo "a) I started.
wala..) he answered with a smile.
@a0ngiti ngiti pa% wala "at kanina ka pa tingin ng tingin,
huh)
pinag"a"awal na "a ng "atas na tumingin sa isang tao) he
crossed his arms and ga:ed at me more ?9edly, still with his
smile.
I made an are0you trying0me glare at him. /ucky for me, his
staring concentration didnVt wrecked at all.
eh "at nakatitig ka na din saVkin naga0gwapuhan ka saVkin
noh) he said grandly.
I 'ust maintained glaring at him for almost three minutes. #e
was still ga:ing, why wonVt he give up $fter a while, I felt
awkward and stopped glaring.
talo ka pala eh%) he said con?dently with a smirk.
Inirapan ko siya. ;aiinis na Wko. 4ahilig "a talaga Wtong
mam"wisit% $ng feeling masyado%
ang hangin naman dito%) I answered "ack as I stood.
uy%) he held my hand. kaya ako tumitingin saVyo kasi
tyumityempo lang ako kung yayayain na "a kitang
magpraktis..wala namang teacher eh..) he e9plained.
mamayang dismissal nalang..Vpag wala ng tao%) I furiously
said. I pulled my hand from his to loosen from his grip and
sat at a "ookshelf "y the window.
$t dismissal time, we waited until 4ike, me, and &rlyn were
the only people in the room. I asked &rlyn to stay with us. I
donVt want to "e alone with 4ike% #eVs pissing me oF%
ano "a song piece niyo) &rlyn asked 4ike.
I looked at 4ike as he showed a paper. eto, saving
grace..maganda yung tono ni00)
"akit yan% ang taas kaya niyan%) I interrupted him
kaya mo Wtoh noh%) he claimed.
hindi kaya%) I disagreed. 4ahihirapan ako sa pagkanta nun.
oo kaya%) he opposed. ,efore I could speak, he started
playing the key"oard. #is ?ngers were smoothly moving on
top of the ta"s creating a pleasing music. $ng galing niya.
oh, kumanta ka na) &rlyn pushed me closer to 4ike while he
was key"oarding. 4ike looked at me which was a hint. ItVs a
signal for me to enter after the interlude. I looked at the
lyrics then at him. I have this dou"tful e9pression on my face
"ut he nodded his head and "eamed at me.
night and day..i seek your face..) I started singing. I can
hear my voice trem"ling which was pro"a"ly the reason why
he stopped.
hey guys, kailangan ko nang umuwi..mauna na ko #ilary
ah 2akate9t lang ng mom ko eh..) &rlyn a"ruptly said.
$no 4aiiwan kaming dalawa ni 4ike $sar naman eh%
ganon "a oh sige..ingat ka ah) I responded.
"ye, ingat%) said 4ike.
ingat din kayo. 4ike, matatagalan pa "a kayo Ingatan mo
yan ah%) she smiled "ack as she waved good"ye.
akong "ahala) he winked at her. Ikaw nga "ahala, ako
naman kawawa%
start ulit tayo..umayos ka ah%) he demanded. (eah, ?ne.
@ara naman kasing napakadali nung pinapakanta mo. &h
ikaw nalang kaya%
I answered him with silence. #e started playing the
instrument again. I progressed until the third line "ut my
voice was still no good and for the second time, he stopped. I
repeated it over and over again and he stopped over and
over again too. !e didnVt even ?nish the ?rst stan:a.
umayos ka naman..) he re=uested. I was utterly =uiet.
a"a..hindi ka "umanat ah..natahimik ka yata) he chuckled.
+till, I remained hushed. oy, galit ka "a saVkin)
!ow naman. ;gayon mo lang nahalata%
alis na Wko. "ukas nalang ulit. pahiram muna nitong lyrics,
pag0aaralan ko sa "ahay.) I impassively answered as I turned
my "ack to him.
wait lang% malapit na guma"i, ihahatid na kita.) he oFered.
$alis na nga ako kasi ayaw kitang makasama, pati "a naman
sa pag0uwi ko gusto mo pang sumunod%
wag na% kaya koVng sarili ko%) I responded in a hostile
"ehavior.
I went to where my "ag was placed. $s I was ?9ing some of
my things, he kept the key"oard somewhere in the classroom
"ut I didnVt wait for him. Instead, I =uickly made my way
down through the stairs. 1utside the school, there was
already a 'eep. I "egan walking towards it when 4ike called
me from "ehind. I made a halt, "ut didnVt look.
ingat #a ah)
Chapter R
Traversing !ith 4enace
!hile waiting for our ne9t class, I decided to wallow privately
and make my own nook near the "ookshelves "y the window
then slouched with my left hand supporting my chin. IVm
"etter oF looking at the school gardenVs view rather than
watching how silly some of my classmates were doing
"aloney stuFs.
"uti pa yung mga punoVt halaman, tinititigan mo. +ana puno
nalang ako) I recogni:ed his voice immediately.
theyVre worth my stare than you are and mind you, kahit
maging puno ka pa, tititigan ko pa rin yung mga yan mali"an
lang sa puno na sinasa"i mo..) I proudly said with
determination. #e sat on the "ookshelf and I tried to look at
him waiting for his reaction. #e chuckled "ut wasnVt looking
at me and ran his hand through his hair. ,y the time when he
noticed I was looking, our eyes met.
hmm) he muttered while smiling. I stared at him.
#anggang dun nalang "a yun !ala na "ang second move
para mainis pa ako lalo I swiftly shifted my head from his
face. !hy should I even "other a"out him
There was moment of silence and we remained on our
positions. #e sat there while I was on his side staring in the
open air. I wondered who would ?rst "reak the restrain
"etween us.
mamaya, praktis ulit..) he ?nally initiated as he 'umped from
the "ookshelf and walked away.
"aka ang i"ig mong sa"ihin..mamaya, torture ulit..) I
whispered.
#ill, punta kaming c.r..sama ka) 3oy emerges with &rlyn and
2ry:l with her.
ahh..hindi, kayo nalang..) I declined.
"at "a nagsesenti mode ka, huh) 2ry:l asked.
ganyan talaga, yan. 4insan gusto niya tumulala kung saan0
saan. #indi na kayo nasanay..) &rlyn answered for me.
I grinned as I heard that from her. In return, they also fashed
a smile as they went oF.
3ust as they were gone, I saw someone on the peripheral of
my eyes pulling a chair near to me. "at mag0isa ka dito)
asked 3ake.
ahmm..wala lang) I answered with a smile.
"alita ko kakanta ka daw ah) he "eamed.
huh paVno mo nalaman) I in=uired.
kinuwento saVkin ni 4ike kanina lang..) he answered.
nakakaasar talaga yun% @inagkakalat ah% ;apilitan lang
naman ako eh..ayoko talaga..) I felt uncomforta"le. ItVs the
?rst IVm talking with 3ake in person. $t sa lahat ng pwedeng
pag0usapan "akit yung tungkol pa dun ;amiminggo na
talaga saVkin yang 4ike na yan%
ahh..hindi ah, hindi niya pinagkakalat, ako palang daw yung
sina"ihan niya kasi alam niyang ayaw mo pang ipaalam sa
i"a..eh nagkataon na ako kasi close naman kami. .onVt
worry, if thatVs what you want, di ko ipagsasa"i sa i"a nating
classmates.) he e9plicated and clari?ed it to me as to defend
4ike.
ganun "a..thanks) I felt relief.
"etter surprise them nalang ne9t week, di"a) he riposted.
siguro nga pero IVm still not sure kung anong magiging
outcome eh..) I sighed.
ganoVn hindi yan..) he tapped me on my shoulder. ikaw
pa% kaya mo yun noh% gusto mo i0cheer pa kita eh..) he had
this elating e9pression in his face.
nye..hindi ka "agay maging cheer leader%) I 'ested.
#e hooted. para saVyo magchi0cheer ako.."agay man saVkin
o hindi) 3ake grinned.
talaga lang ah) I chuckled.
oo naman noh% why not)
>>>
4ike ordered our classmates to go home immediately after
our class so we wonVt wait for the room to "e empty. It would
take 78 precious minutes "efore they would scram so heVd
"etter command them so we could start our practice early.
This time, itVs only the two of us. &rlyn needed to go home
early and so were 2ry:l, 3oy, Carla, and 3hoyce. !ala akong
nakuha maski isa sa kanila na pwedeng sumama saVming
dalawa ni 4ike.
game..) he started playing the instrument. $fter I crooned
some of the lyrics, he ceased. ulit%) he demanded. I "egan
singing again. !hen he wasnVt satis?ed, he would
terminate. This was the process that kept on repeating.
ItVs already P678 pm "ut weVre still rehearsing and "ecause of
the recurrence, I already memori:ed the entire lyrics.
lakasan mo pa, pano ka nila nyan maririnig) he ordered.
nahihiya nga ako) I e9plicated.
tayo lang naman tao dito eh..wag kang matakot lakasan, ako
lang naman nakikinig eh..) he reassured me.
1nce again, he played the key"oard and this time, I improved
my volume.
sa"i ko na nga "a, kaya mo eh..isa pa ulit ah) he said.
#e "egan playing. !hen I was a"out to sing the chorus part,
some elementary students ran along the corridors so I
stopped.
oh "aket) he looked at me intently.
kasi..may mga "ata eh) I answered.
kanina pinag"igyan na kita na isipin mo na tayo lang dalawa
ang nandito at ako lang ang nakikinig.."ut this time, I would
want you to think that you have other listeners aside from
me. 2onti lang naman yung mga "atang yun ah..kung hindi
ka makakanta dahil sa limang taong yun, ano pa kaya sa
actual performance na halos lagpas trenta yung nakikinig)
he reprimanded.
&h yun nga yung dahilan kung "aVt ayokong kumanta di"a
Tapos ngayon magde0demand ka dyan% 2aasar ka talaga%
There goes the process again. #e played, I sang, and itVs
either me or him who stopped until the time reached D688 pm
and I felt tired already.
start na..) he insisted.
teka lang, ayoko na..pahinga muna tayo..) I pleaded.
hindi pwede% sa 4onday na Wtoh eh..hindi naman tayo
makakapagpraktis "ukas saka sa /inggo kasi weekend at
alam kong may kanya0kanya tayong gagawin sa mga araw na
Wyun%) he sharply responded.
ipapakilala kita sa konsepto ng pagod%%) I glowered at him
and walked away. I went to a corner of the room, sat with my
"ack resting on the wall, tucked my knees and rested my
head on it. !hen I heard his footsteps coming closer to me, I
lifted my head.
tumayo ka na nga dyan% sige, last na Wtoh. 2apag maayos
na, uuwi na tayo) he oFered his hand "ut I 'ust stared at him.
swear, uuwi na talaga tayo pagkatapos nito "asta ayusin mo
lang at para magawa mo yun.."elieve in yourself, isipin mo
na kaya mo, okay ,inigyan ka ng .iyos ng ganyang talent
kaya wag kang mahiyang gamitin..) he fashed a smile.
kung magsalita siya ngayon, parang siya yung angel ko ah.
#mm.. posi"le kaya na.. hay nako, hindi noh% 2ung anu0ano
na yung iniisip ko% @agod lang siguro ako. Though IVm still
annoyed, I held his hand and stood up.
,efore he could start, I positioned myself "y the window.
!hile looking outside, I earned all my esteem and thought of
something to add on my /ife -uide.
Philosophy #0: 'ever underestimate the power of
positive thouht. 1ust believin that you can is half
the -ourney to actually succeedin.
I should "e optimistic this time. ready na Wko) I told him.
,ecause IVm determined to go home and take a rest, I gave
all my "est. I sang aloud, correctly, and con?dently. !hen I
?nished, I walked towards him and glared at him. masaya ka
na%) I furiously e9claimed then walked away to gra" my "ag
and go home.
teka lang%) he shouted. ,ut I didnVt mind.
#a"ang pauwi na ako, natatakot ako. -a"i na kasi eh tapos
maglalakad pa Wko pagka"a"a ko ng 'eep. .apat nagpahatid
ako% 2aso galit naman ako kay 4ike eh..kaya wag na%
Tawagan ko kaya parents ko na sunduin ako sa gate ng
su"division kaso kulang yung load ko% #ala% @aVno na
@ag"a"a ko sa 'eep, lumakas yung pagti"ok ng puso ko.
4adilim na talaga sa su"division namin, nakakatakot% @alapit
na Wko nang palapit sa may kanto malapit saVmin.
;apakaswerte ko naman% @ara akong nanalo sa lotto dahil
naa"utan ko dun yung mga naglalasing, gra"e% $ng saya ko
naman% !aah% ;agkakatuwaan sila, hanggang sa matanaw
nila Wko.
miss%) a drunken man called. I know IVm the one heVs
referring to since IVm the only one walking on the street that
time. I tried to walk past them.
psst%) another one uttered. 2inaka"ahan na talaga Wko%
4ga lasing Wtoh% Tumayo pa yung isa, naglakad palapit
saVkin. !aah% $nong "alak nito
I walked faster "ut the man o"structed my way. miss, mag0
isa ka lang)
huh ah..eh) I felt an9ious. Can some"ody help me at this
instant time, place, and situation +ige na, kahit sino na
/ord%% #elp%%
ang ganda mo pala eh) he whistled. mga pare% ang ganda
nito%) he announced to his mates.
Mh0oh% +ana nagmukha nalang akong monster sa paningin
niya% I tried to run "ut once again, he impeded.
oh% saVn ka pupunta hatid na kita) he leered and attempted
to gra" my "ag from my shoulder to carry it "ut I refused and
moved "ackwards. #indi safe% nahiya ka pa eh) he said
lasciviously. This ainVt good no more%
wag na po% uuwi akong mag0isa%) I shrilled. 1nce again, I
tried to escape "ut my tactics didnVt work. !orse, another
man stood and was a"out to walk towards us. (ung isa nga
hindi ko natakasan, ano pa kaya Wpag dalawa na sila%
!aah%% I "acked oF to maintain a distance from the other
while another was a"out to come. 3ust a"out the time the
second man started to walk towards me, I felt someone from
"ehind..
honey..) a voice coming from a lad called as he draped an
arm on my shoulder. The man that was a"out to come
towards me made a standstill. anong pro"lema dito)
pro"lema haha%) the man laughed. wala% "aket%)
I was immo"ili:ed, not even a"le to turn my head to look at
the lad right ne9t to me. !ith his arm draped on my
shoulder, he pulled me closer to him. wala naman pala eh%)
he snorted.
a"a% sumasagot ka pa sa masmatanda saVyo ah% wala kang
galang ah%) the man "ursted out with wrath.
natural sasagot ako, tinanong mo Wko eh% kaso lang hindi
pala yung tanong mo yung sinagot ko noh) he disputed.
!hoa% pinilosopo pa yung l
lasing% saka walang galang% sino kaya saVtin ang walang
galang ngayon% after all, you deserve derision instead of
deference%) he continued. $ll I could do was stare at the
man, watch him getting raged.
ano der00ano ulit alak "a yun hindi ako waiter para mag0
serve nun noh% ahaha% teka nga, "at ka "a nakikialam saVmin
dito%) the man replied as the other drunken chap that was in
a standstill went "ack to his chair.
ayy..di nagets..) he gruFed. I could feel his "reath "ut yet, I
didnVt dare to look at him. 4y eyes were ?9ed on the
drunken man. IVm getting nervous, focusing on what he
might do to us. sa"i ko ikaw ang walang galang% "ina"astos
mo girlfriend ko%) he yelled.
The man was a"out to argue again "ut suddenly "acked oF
and his face grimaced. ay% girlfriend mo "a pare pasensiya
na, nakita kasi naming mag0isa..ihahatid ko lang sana) he
ali"ied with a tamed voice then walked "ack to his mates
while looking sideways at our "acks. I tried to turn my head
to look at my "ack then saw a guard walking towards our
direction. #e must have heard the commotion happening.
+o thatVs why the o"tuse drinker got startled.
,efore I could look at the face of the "loke who saved me, he
hauled me along, still with his arm draped on my shoulder.
halika na..) he said. ,ut I know who owns this voice%
ehem% malayo na tayo, pwede mo nang tanggalin yang
kamay mo noh%) I mandated him and removed his hand from
my shoulder while we were walking. nananantsing ka na
yata eh%)
hindi ah%) he defensed. ikaw na nga tinulungan eh%)
"at sina"i ko "ang tulungan mo Wko%) I scolded.
ahh ganon% oh sige, i0rewind natin, "umalik tayo dun, iiwan
kita sa kanila%) he e9claimed. I stopped walking.oh "aket
nanaman) he went in front of me looking du"ious a"out me
while I looked into his eyes.
4ike, thank you..) my tears started to fall as I hugged him.
kung hindi ka dumating "aka kung ano nang ginawa nila
saVkin%) I "lu""ed.
I was so""ing in his shoulder while he stroked soothing circles
on my "ack which made me feel that IVm safe, that no"ody
could harm me. hey, tahan na...
..nandito na ,#o.)
4ike walked me home. !hile on the street, he "roke in.
hon, okay ka na)
honey ka dyan% hindi na kita "f..tapos na yung pala"as
kanina noh%) I said while still gasping.
"akit, ayaw mo na "ang ituloy mamahalin naman kita ah%
he asked with a ridiculous smile.
ano) I 'eered and looked at him.
"akit sa tingin mo "a gagawin ko nalang yung ginawa ko
kanina "asta "asta% "aka nga nasaksak pa ko ng mga yun
eh% pero dahil saVyo..) he paused. I looked at him
enigmatically.
eto naman, syempre 'oke lang% gusto lang naman kitang
patawanin eh..) he clari?ed.
$hh, 'oke lang naman pala ehh..I returned a smile. kahit
kelan ka talaga%)
ikaw, matapos mo kong gawing crying shoulder ah..sige,
ganyan ka% "asa na nga polo ko oh..) he stopped walking
then checked his polo.
I stood in front of him and 'utted my head near to his
shoulder to check it too. ay, oo nga..sus% matutuyo din
naman yan%) I looked up to his face to fash a smile. ,ut this
time, our faces were closer. #e didnVt say a word. #e was
'ust staring deeply into me.
I felt awkwardness. ahmm..pasensiya na) I softly uttered
then immediately looked down and started walking again.
uy, hintayin mo naman ako..) he said. I decreased my
speed for him to catch me up. "at "igla kang "umilis)
wala lang%) I muttered. hmm..I 'ust want to ask, why did
you "other to come here) I in=uired.
itVs 'ust that..you know..itVs already late, and..youVre a girl.
.o you see the picture) I nodded. may nagsa"i din sakin
kung san yung su"division niyo pero saka ko na ikekwento
kung sino. Tapos pumunta na ko dito. @agdating ko nga hindi
ko alam kung saVn "anda ka na napadpad, good thing narinig
ko yung "oses mo kanina kaya nalaman ko na nandon ka pala
sa kanto..) he answered calmly.
nag0aalala ka saVkin noh%) I 'ested.
huh hindi noh% ginagawa ko lang responsi"ilidad ko. .i "a
sa"i ko kay &rlyn, akong "ahala saVyo "aka ipagsa"i niya na
pinapa"ayaan kita sa practices natin tapos isipin ng i"ang tao
hindi ko iniingatan ang isang "a"ae, masira pa yung gwapo
kong image) then "igla siyang nagpa0cute.
uh0huh may image kang ganoVn) I chortled.
oh, edi natawa ka) he looks silly with his facial e9pression.
nakakatawa kasi itsura mo..nagpapa0cute ka pa dyan) I
stated while still laughing. #e also "egan to laugh with me
until we reached our house. nandito na tayo..)
oh sige, pumasok ka na..) he said and started to turn his
"ack.
uy, sandali lang%) I called then he turned his head. ingat ka
sa daan saka thank you ulit)
#e fashed a smile. no pro"%) he waved good"ye then went
oF.
>>>
hindi ko nalang sasa"ihin sa parents ko, "aka sa susunod
hindi na nila ko payagang luma"as ng "ahay eh. 4ag0iingat
nalang ako ne9t time. Tama, ganoVn nalang. I went inside our
house as if nothing happened.
what took you so long) 3elaine asked.
huh gosh% I was so "usy eh..you know..shooting, pictorials,
shows, ramp modeling, guestings..IVm so tired na nga eh..) I
'oked.
is that so) she was starting to laugh. eh nakuhanan mo "a
Wko ng autograph galling sa mga artistang nakasama mo)
ohh..sorry% I forgot..ne9t time, okay) I told her in a sweet
voice.
ang corny mo ah%) she said while giggling. sa"i ni mama
kumain ka na daw pagdating mo.)
sige..puntahan ko muna sila) I answered and went to my
parent's room.
4y mama is ironing some of our clothes while my papa is
reading something on their "ed when I arrived there.
gina"i ka ah..) my father uttered.
natagalan po kasi yung practice namin for an activity..) I
e9plicated.
kumain ka na "a tapos na kasi kami eh..kainin mo nalang
yung nasa dining ta"le..) my mother said while ironing.
oo nga, sige mag"ihis ka na din..) pa said as he lifted his
head from what heVs reading.
okay po..) I answered then went oF to change clothes and
eat. I didnVt tell my family anything a"out the incident.
$fter some time, may nagte9t saVkin.
Iangel =J6 safe now
$"a% @arang alam na niya agad kung anong nangyari ah. I
have this sense na talaga% ,aka nga..
IakoJ6 okay na Wko..
Iangel =J6 "uti naman..K
IakoJ6 "akit ganun $lam mo na "a kung anong nangyari
saVkin
Iangel =J6 yah..
IakoJ6 updated ka sa "uhay ko ah%K
Iangel =J6 hehe..syempre naman..angel mo Wko eh%K
IakoJ6 nga pala, sa"i mo poprotektahan saka "a"antayan
mo Wko lagi di"a eh nasaVn ka kanina huh hehe%
$yaw mo pa magpakilala ah% Tignan natin..,aka ma"uking
ko na Wtoh this time.
..Aamin na #aya$$