From A Menopausal Gentleman B0| You're Just Li Father stage with bare breast than Ace bandoge and (ights come up op F ‘and baer shorts, bah oes overtoa like the openina of She gets another ai bandage around het bass, She tokes another bandage from the suitease ar song finishes, When she is finishe Of release, but Her arms neede outside of her what was Eating her up there was always such consequences in wrecking a she went over td shelf, and started tea squares, Kleenex in a litle sack with a plece of on re knew that it would rain ‘This took her She waited unt48 |THE SOLO PERFORMANCES OF PEGGY SHAW and spread her tiny bundles all over ‘The big, beautiful, groomed, green lawn of his office Ttrained good and hard. ‘The next day the big, beautiful, groomed, green lawn was dotted with ‘Hundreds of white specks of sugar stuck to the blades of grass, “There were no complaints to the management or to the police. Only to the minister. ‘And the minister went to speak to the family, to her husband. But since he was dead, he couldn't take the blame, That is to say, my father couldn't take thé blame. ‘Cause this was my mother before they destroyed her. My mother who was in love with me In the house. (Runs her hands through her hair, making sound of a wolf) Hey! i'm Eddie, “My father wouldn’t call me Eddie, he called me Margaret. Margaret means peat! was his pearl of a girl. But pearl didn’t match my outfits. ‘This is my face. It’s sharp like my father You look {ust like your father, my mother would say. Took like my father when ’m in a good mood. Most lesbians I know really like their fathers, me included. My father was a Leo, he had a heart condition; he had to count to ten before he hit ws. He gave me the same heart condition simply because I knew him so well. He had big hands. [ have his big hands. 1 ike to touch things and people. ‘Once a shrink asked me where my desire comes from, I said, “From my hands.” She told me to keep my hands to myself. You're Just Like My Father | 49 She didn’t mean to say i st came out and a pjjosed to be so direct. But I knew what she me ‘Tere were so many Gh: jen in my family that when we visited péo e's houses sre had to hold our Hori being our backs for the whole visit Thad to control my han) all the time. My Grandmother tld iT would do great things with my hands; I think she meant play ba» piano. “My father told me that 1); father knocked out Joe Louis with his bare hands. (Musical number: “This is mmicrophone descends ro over) i 1n’s World." During all the musical numbers, a ceiling, as in @ boxing ring. Music continues Ashard As ve tried Ican’t get it up Fully On top You know Head ‘To toe Missionary Go tell ton the mount But mounting I Is something I've got trpy ble with “Cause I can’t Get on top Get hard | Butch on top |50 | THESOLO PERFORMANCES OF PEGUY SHAW Its left over From way back When I was @ boy ‘And all the girls, Wanted me to please I's hard ‘To keep it up My reputation Easy for the young ones But hard for me But not hard enough. If it only comes down Or comes up To coming To keep it going To keep it up To strapping one on To whacking me off "Cause | Deep Inside my love for you Isa flash picture It has to do with my arms My fingers My hands ‘These are the butch queer feminine parts Of me On the other hand Bither my left or my right ‘m told that I'm missing out on a dildo. I can hardly look at the real ones it That look like real dicks t I can look at the dolphin ones Dolphins don't have veins. Is the veins, ‘That vanity in men, | You'e Just Like My Father | 31 My father's dick looked I ‘When I saw him In the toilet. Feminists made me hate ((lphins, I mean dildos. They tried to make me hat) boxer shorts, Not that I want to put bla ye On anyone for my lie Lack of thrust ‘ Except maybe the mission; ties. don't want to be like my parents In any way Unless, of course, Ican’'t help it i You should never take yo.1; parents personally. a dolphin (Peggy goesto the center ring { nd counts down from ten, then dresses in the ‘army uniform.) My mother used to mak me things from cardboard all taped to- gether like houses. She us.d the cardboard from my father’s Sun- day shirts from the Chinj¢<2 laundzy. She caught me at the kitchen table at five years old, di.) sing a picture of a woman tied to a tree with her hands behind 1})) and her breasts were naked, and I drew a woman kissing her bré<é's, My mother watched me closely from then on and made sure \ {dn’t have girlfriends for too tong or stay over at their houses, She #/jid V’d go to hell if| didn’t get married, 1 liked other peoply’s|t others. You know, around fifty, the ones who had to work in ast They seemed like they coud stand in one place without som¢) te to protect them. But | wanted to sit with them in the kitchér’ for hours while they flirted with me. ‘Theis husbands seemed §5 old. And I was so full of desire, 1 would do things for them. And ihey never told me 1 was going to hell. My mother hated my /andfather, and when he died, she didn’t want to go to the fuera, -Ather, so we went to Brigham’ in Cam: