English 1100

Detective Fiction
Stratton Graves
10/30/14

Ferrari California

Some people can read things. Architecture, Art, Vegetation. They know the
architect of a building just by its design. They see a painting and know the painter by a
particular hue of Prussian Blue. They know a plant by its leaves and instantly know all its
uses and origin.
Frank Warnick was like that only Frank knew cars. Cars driving down the road:
Chrysler, Mercedes, Ford, GMC. He could tell you the year, make and model of some
taillights passing in the dark. He knew the nuances of every model. Frank knew cars.
I knew Frank because Frank knew cars, and very little about women.
Im Jimmy Maybe, Franks bookkeeper, we are both semi-retired.. I met Frank in
the 90s; he had a better job then. He was an engineer for some think tank in Detroit. The
big three came to him when they had a problem their engineers couldnt fix. Now I have
a bigger belt size and he has lot more grey hair and a garage in L.A. where fix expensive
obscure cars and occasionally other problems.
Im working today! I called up to my wife who was still in bed. 5 a.m. Its
funny how the older we get the earlier we wake. The sun was just rising as I drove up to
our shop, Warnicks Customs. The sunrise was amazing, even on this side of town. The

radio on the way over buzzed about another 100 degree day and the drought that was
forcing people to empty their backyard pools. Then a news piece about a basketball
player involved in a hit and run while doing roadside community service for a DUI
only in L.A. could you get a DUI judgment and keep your license by picking up some
trash and a 10 game suspension
I parked in front of the shop and chuckled at the big red mismatched W on the
sign, it looked comical compared to the rest of the block letters. It had been that way ever
since some bikers that owned the shop down the street had shot out our old W- An
ironic welcome to the neighborhood Frank had replaced it with the Old English
typeface W we were gifted when Winters Bowling on the corner got a new sign.
Sometimes the most elegant solution is right in front of you. Frank was like that:
pragmatic.
The roll-up door was open and I wasnt surprised to see he was already inside; he
might have been still there from last night. What did surprise me was the black Crown
Vic parked in the alley. Police in L.A. arent very subtle, nor are they pragmatic. They
arent great for business either; sometimes people who own expensive old cars dont like
them. Once and a while though an Officer Malloy well now Detective Malloy would
ask for our help. Pete was a good cop, not very imaginative, but good. He came to our
shop from time to time to hire Frank as a paid consultant. Mostly identifying stolen 6
figure cars. As I walked into the shop I knew from Malloys face that this was a different
matter. No respecter of persons, Frank was up to his elbows in grease and reaching up
underneath the Jag E-type to change the rear driveshaft u-joint as man spoke. I heard

Franks lecturing voice in my mind, On an English car its called a prop shaft. No
wonder he didnt have many friends.
Hello Jimmy, Strange, Pete didnt look me in the eye as he shook my hand.
Listen guys were looking for a yellow car, it didnt have plates and we didnt get a
make from witnesses. Only that it was old and looked fast.
Frank stopped for a moment, Thats pretty obscure even for us, I need more
information.
Ok, but this isnt my normal stuff, this is about a murder. Yesterday one of the
players from the Lakers was doing his court ordered community service in Laurel
Canyon.
I interrupted, Laurel Canyon? Thats one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in
L.A!
We dont like to publicize where celebrities will be on the road side, Pete
continued, So Germaine Dupree, Number 67 was picking up trash, punishment for his
most recent D.U.I. and this bright yellow car comes speeding down the canyon, and from
what witnesses say, it swerves off the road and runs the guy over.
How do you know it wasnt just a hit and run?
He backed up off the guy. Slowly. A witness said the car was bright yellow, the
windows were dark tinted and a yellow badge with cursive writing.
Anything else?
Yeah something specific, the only other clue we have is the wheels they had
Compagnolo written on them. The name sounded Italian, so here I am.
Okay, Pete. You know Im happy to help. What is it worth to the department?

Two thousand dollars, we cant afford the bad publicity if we cant find out who
did this. Youve got my number still?
Yeah.
I could see the wheels still turning in Franks head as we finished lunch at Winter
Bowling, we always seemed to eat there when there was a problem that couldnt be fixed
by staring at a car. For me it was so I could eat fried food under the guise of bowling. For
Frank, he said the background noise of the balls rolling and pins crashing let him think.
We both liked the burgers. Who could have possibly murdered Number 67?
Back at the shop I got back to paperwork and Frank got back to the prop shaft in
the Jag. We had better get this consulting work, I had been covering Franks half of the
rent for the past two months. Walking back to the work bay I noticed a big black
Mercedes parked across the street that the man talking to Frank under the lift obviously
belonged to. Easily a 6 figure car.
Im looking for a car, the man said a special car. He spoke directly like a man
who was a little too used to getting his way. He had to stoop to stand next to Frank under
the elegant silver machine; he must have been 65 or 66 and a least 350lbs. He looked
rich. His dirty purple and yellow Nike high tops looked out of place with his three piece
suit: especially because of the heat already today.
He offered a big hand and flashed a big smile when I walked in, You must be Mr.
Maybe, you and your partner have a reputation with Ferraris, then turning back to Frank,
I heard about you from a friend, you found him a new motor for his F50.
Oh yeah, the red one, as if there was another color for an F50, youre Thomas
Kincaid, one of the silent owners of the Lakers?

How did you know that?

Lakers colors (pointing at his shoes), your friend with the F50 plays point guard
and that AMG S-class- you shouldnt lie to your wife.
What?! boomed the grey suited man.
The S-class, you pulled the AMG badges so your wife wouldnt know you
bought the model thats $50 grand more than the normal one, you can still tell its an
AMG because of the front lip.
I must say you know your cars; Mr. Warnick, Im impressed, but I came to you
because I need you to fix a yellow Ferrari California, my yellow Ferrari California.
Frank echoed, A Ferrari California?
Yes and my 74 246 Dino.
Now thats a unique pair of cars.
Yeah the California needs a clutch and a new set of brakes, Ive got tires on order
and theyre already on their way to you. One of my players borrowed it and
smoked those parts trying to impress some models at a party in Hollywood Hills a
few months ago got a D.U.I. too. You wouldnt believe the impound fees I had
to pay to get it out. Ill pay you half what the dealer charges.
Youre assuming Ill take the job then?
He counted 60 one hundred dollar bills from a wad and handed them to him. You
need the work I had my guys look you up. Your Ex-Wife took half your money when
she left you. Funny how more bills have more physical presence.
You said you were looking for a special car? Warnick pocketed the large stack
of bills. What does the Dino need?

The Dino was stolen last night, I need another, the grey suited man said
unflinchingly.
Who could have stolen it?
I told the police I suspect one of my players. They all know the code to the gate
and the garage. Theres a rookie, Omar Otis, I always let him drive that car. Free agent.
Hes not very good, I might cut him, and if I find out he stole my car I definitely will.
He growled.
Frank and I exchanged an incredulous glance; a Ferrari 246 Dino wasnt a car that
you could just find at a used car dealer. They only come up for sale every few years.
Im asking you to be my agent; you know cars and I want a good one. Anyway
Ive already found one: Its a 71. I just need you look it over, make sure its a good one.
He then peeled off 10 more large bills from the now smaller wad and handed them over
along with a business card, which read: Alfredo Holdings Company with a hand written
phone number on the back. Ill give you another K if the car looks legit, call me and Ill
pay the man over the phone, then deliver it to my house. I need them both in 3 days.
This man was a little demanding, but with that wad of cash I didnt mind. As a book
keeper: I thought it was odd how people in L.A. slip into slang when it comes to large
sums of money The grey suited man then gave me another business card with his
number. He again offered his big hand to me, then Frank, and flashed his big smile and
got into his big Mercedes which growled to life and burbled slowly out of view.
That was odd. I stammered, but Frank offered no comment. He walked to the
phone and dialed the number on the back of the business card.

9am tomorrow? He repeated, confirming our meeting time with a female voice
on the other end.
An hour later a roll back delivered a stunning yellow Ferrari California with very
bald rear tires and a very burnt smelling clutch. I wondered why Mr. Kincaid let his
players borrow his cars I looked up the parts for the prancing horse and within a few
minutes had placed the order from the local dealer. By the time the parts showed up and I
had given delivery man 3000 of our new dollars it was only 2pm. We had the new rubber
an hour later.
The nature of expensive, light sports cars is that they are essentially race cars
Frank commented And as such they are meant to be serviced quickly during a race.
True to his word we had the clutch in the car in record time and I was scrubbing my
hands clean by 9pm.
$3000 in one day? And another $2000 for looking over another car? Forget
waiting months for a police consulting check; this is the type of work we need! When I
left the shop Frank was still deep in thought and finishing work on the California.
I called Detective Malloy when I got home, I told him Mr. Kincaid suspected
Omar Otis had stolen his car and had run down his teammate in cold blood so he could
keep his spot on the team. There was motive. The car matched the description. A bright
yellow car, the wheels, the yellow badge all could have been the Dino. Malloy agreed;
besides who else would know where his teammate was picking up trash on the roadside?
Otis would have tried to make it look like Mr. Kincaid had done it. Pete Malloy was a
happy Detective and I, for once, had figured out the crime. Detective Malloy said they
would be arresting Mr. Otis tonight. I couldnt wait to tell Frank in the morning.

The sun already blistered down on us as we drove the newly repaired Ferrari
convertible to Alfredo Holdings Company at the bottom of Laurel Canyon.
I tuned it to the news station and the radio squawked, L.A.P.D. arrests L.A.
Lakers rookie Omar Otis in the hit and run murder of teammate Germaine Dupree.
Frank said nothing and drove on. I felt elated that Id figured it out, but I squirmed
in my seat as I thought about accidentally damaging this $200,000 convertible that wasnt
even remotely ours. Frank said we had to look the part. I hadnt seen my friend in a suit
since Detroit, but I hoped we looked the part: two rich guys in a Ferrari off to buy a
vintage Ferrari. The place didnt look like a classic car dealership; it looked like a rich
mans private toy box.
Frank pulled the seat all the way forward to reach the pedals, this was modified.
Compagnolo wheels, Chairs and Flairs package, Hunter Green paint. This is an odd
Dino, Frank mumbled to me as we drove just out of earshot of the salesman. by all
means it should be a 71, but the wheels are wrong and it has a prancing horse badge,
Dinos were never badged as Ferraris except in 74.
I guess the clout we earned by driving up in a new Ferrari worked. Id never
been offered a test drive in anything more than a Camaro before.
Despite the mismatched parts, it was a stunning piece of machinery. Beautiful
flowing lines designed by Pinafarina. Frank rung Mr. Kincaid from the phone in the front
office of Alfredo Holding company and then handed the phone to the salesman who
rather quickly verified funds for $246,000 and handed us the key and insurance papers to
Mr. Kincaids new toy.

I followed Frank who drove the green Dino, he spent the whole drive on the
phone, while I spent the whole drive sweating through my shirt as I drove the bright
yellow California. We parked the cars at Warnicks Customs and arranged delivery late
tomorrow at Mr. Kincaids home. I triple checked the locks and headed home to my
understanding wife. As if knowingly easing my worry, Frank spent the night at the shop.
The next afternoon we wound through street after street of palatial mansions
through Hollywood Hills and finally up a long curved driveway through the monolithic
gate and back around Mr. Kincaids gargantuan house to his garage. We parked our
loaned cars and walked across the back lawn to the big house. We were directed around a
trackhoe next to a large hole nearly 10 ft. long and 20ft wide and the gardener was
watering a large new section of sod nearby. We were instructed to wait on the veranda for
Mr. Kincaid.
I knew you two were the men for the job! boomed the man, now in a different
three piece suit. Thomas Kincaid looked very pleased as he walked from the back door to
the covered porch were I was cooling myself with a large glass of lemonade now that I no
longer was endangering a pair of cars worth more than my house. I just love those
wheels on that Dino! He flicked through ten one hundred dollar bills and handed them to
me Can you believe that Omar killed Germaine? I heard on the news they arrested him
last night. He continued on and on about his luck finding another Dino is such good
condition until we heard a faint police siren that grew louder and louder until we saw a
familiar black Crown Vic drive up the lane followed my three other L.A.P.D. squad cars.
What is going on?! Kincaid shouted angrily at both of us as Detective Pete
Malloy walked up to the veranda.

Mr. Kincaid, we have a search warrant search your property for a murder
weapon. Malloy handed Kincaid the warrant papers.
If you officers with the shovels will head over to that new sod, Im sure youll
find Mr. Kincaids stolen yellow Ferrari Dino. Frank directed. Omar never stole your
Ferrari Dino, but Germaine did borrow your California and got a D.U.I. in it. You were
furious that your star player had ruined your Ferrari and was suspended for 10 games.
You reported the Dino stolen and knew exactly were Mr. Dupree was doing his
community service because he must have complained at practice. You ran him down and
murdered him.
You cant prove any of that Kincaid shouted throwing off his jacket.
You drove back here and couldnt spare the thought of ditching your precious
Dino and you buried it in your empty pool. L.A. County has everyone emptying
their pools because of the drought. Why would you be digging a new pool if you
couldnt get the permit to even fill it? Your Nikes were covered in dirt when you
met with Jimmy and me at our shop. Frank continued. Your pride caught up
with you. I knew that you knew more about your cars than you let on. The
Compagnolo wheels and prancing horse badge from your 74 were on that 71 we
looked at for you. The car you murdered Mr. Dupree with. They never came on
the Dino until 74 and Ferrari never badged the Dino as a Ferrari with the
prancing horse badge until 74 either. Ferrari never made reproduction parts. Im
certain well find the wrong wheels on the 74 when its dug up. When Detective
Malloy looks up Alfredo Holding Company Im sure hell find that it belongs to

you. You were very clever naming your business after your favorite car. Alfredo
Ferrari was Enzo Ferraris eldest son and his nickname was Dino.