Jose Batista

Mrs. Petty
12-12-2014
English 101
Post Finalized Memoir Revision Journal Statement

I started revising my post finalized essay with my revisions the teacher gave me plus the revisions
my peer did. I took dead words out and I stated looking for better, more descriptive words. Those
words that give picture and color to an essay. Taking out these words made the me and the
audience understand what was really going on , in the memoir . I read the memoir several times
out loud, this way I can hear if it makes sense. Also by reading the memoir out loud I hear myself
and the voice on the memoir itself. I also read the memoir to my roommate to unsure it made
sense. He also helped me, to organize my paper in a more orderly manner, In order for it to be
clear and understandable and in order for the paper to make the picture more clear and
understandable. The memoir was written in first person. That was one of the few things that I did
right overall in the paper. The mechanics of the overall paper I fixed them with the peer editing we
did in class. It really helped; also I used the feedback given by the teacher to correctly use words
and punctuation where ever it was needed. I fixed several fragments and run-ons. Overall I did
several corrections on my memoir. It should be much better than the final. I compared them and
they so sound different. The Post finalized is more descriptive and organized