Meredith Pennington

S316, Instr. Collins

Research Paper
7/24/13
Stepparents Effects on Children

As divorce becomes a more realistic ending to marriage rather than the til death
do us part vows, it is more likely for kids to grow up with one or two stepparents. How
do these stepparents affect how children grow up? What role do these stepparents play
in the lives of their stepchildren? With the addition of another parental role there are
adjustments that have to be made. There is a time when kids and parents both have to
readjust their lives after the new stepparent is added to the family. This time is called
the crisis period, which can last up to two years. Then there is a stabilization period
where the family dynamics are restored in the new family. (Collins) After this crisis
period, more benefits can be seen in the relationship between the stepparent and the
stepchild.
The definition of a stepparent has changed, since divorce started increasing in
the 1960s and 1970s. The traditional stepparent was a married adult with resident
stepchildren. Before the no-fault divorce was established, the most likely reason for
remarriage was a death of a spouse. Now that no-fault divorce has become the national
norm, most remarriages happen because of a divorce. This allows for more kids to have
three or more parents in their lives.
Another change in the way that stepparent families are created is that there are
more cohabitating families. This is when a non-biological adult is helping support their
partners children. Also there are more joint custody cases with children from divorce. In

some cases there are nonresident stepparents that are supporting and caring for
children almost half of the time. Before joint custody became more popular a resident
stepparent was more prominent in the stepchilds life than a nonresident stepparent.
Along with this change in the definition of a stepparent, there has also been change in
how stepparents are viewed and how stepfamilies are view in society.
In childrens movies, like Snow White and Cinderella, there is a stereotype
portrayed of an evil stepmother. The story goes, stepmother married the biological
father after the death of the mother and when the father died there was only the
stepmother left to care for his only daughter. The stepmother is usually only in the
marriage for the castle, the money, and the rise in society that she gains. So when the
father dies; the stepmother treats the princess like a slave until her prince charming
comes and saves her. Although society hopefully realizes that prince charming isnt
coming, there has not been the elimination of this idea of the stepmother that wants to
take the father away from the child. There is still this idea that some stepmothers want
to keep her husbands biological children away from him in order to have more time and
attention for herself and possibly her children.
There is also this stigma that stepfamilies are not as good as the nuclear family.
Studies show that there are more kids with behavioral problems growing up in a
divorced family rather than from a nuclear family. There is also research showing that
certain family types do better with stepfamilies, and that children can benefit from this
extra relationship in their lives.
In Teybers book, Helping Children Cope with Divorce, some children are not
sure of the remarriage at first. Children whose parents had a bad divorce are more likely

to have problems with this change. A child might be cautious to show one parent more
affection than the other, so that they do not seem like they are choosing a favorite
parent. Another fear is that the remarried parent will be more interested in the new
relationship with their spouse. There is also a fear that the biological parent will bond
with the new stepchildren and not want to keep the relationship that the biological
parent and the child have (Teyber 237).
Another factor in how children are affected by divorce is how old they are at the
time of the divorce or cohabitation and the gender of the children and stepparent.
Stepfather-stepchild relationships are better when children are younger going into the
marriage; however, it is more likely to create a closer relationship between a stepfather
and stepson than for a stepfather-stepdaughter relationship. (Mason 543) A daughter is
more likely to oppose a new stepparent, especially as she gets older and if it is her
mother getting married. There is a bond that is created between a mother and a
daughter during the period of time that the mother is single. Mothers can form
friendships with their daughters and depend on them for help and support. As this
relationship grows it is harder for the daughter to feel comfortable allowing her mother to
be in a relationship with a new man. The daughter is then afraid that this new
relationship will interfere with the precious relationship between her and her mother
(Teyber 237). It is not just daughters that will act out during this new transition from the
single parent home to the step family unit. Teenage boys also do not want to see a new
father figure in the house or they do not want the time that was previously just them and
their fathers to be changed. While girls are more likely to lash out emotionally; boys are
more likely to lash out violently. In one study, a now-adult grew up in a house with his

mother and stepfather and he expressed that, [He] feels he got more from his
stepfather than his stepsisters did, because he was male and his stepfather could pass
on to him his occupation skills in the building trades. Then when interviewed three
years later he commented that his stepsisters got more of the emotional side of his
stepfather while the stepson got more of the mentoring side of his stepfather.
(Schmeeckle, 182)
William Marsiglio takes a closer look at the relationships that stepfathers have in
their stepchildrens lives. In his research he discovered that stepfathers can influence
stepchildren to be closer with their biological fathers. There is also an influence that the
stepchild has on the stepfather. In certain families, the stepchild makes the stepfather
grow up and realize his role as family man. To fill this role, he helps support the child
and the mother. This makes the stepfather feel needed.
In Kathleen Gersons book, The Unfinished Revolution, she explains that 25%
of children that live with stepfathers have a close relationship with both biological and
step fathers, but 35% have a closer relationship with just the stepfather (62). This could
be contributed to single/widowed mothers that get remarried. Since the biological father
is out of the picture, there is no other father for the children to be close to. Especially in
younger children, this may be the only father figure that they know.
While having a stepfather can help a child strengthen the bond between the child
and the biological father or filling a role that was previously vacant, stepmothers have a
harder adjustment to finding their role in their stepchildrens lives. Stepmothers are
trying not to fill the role of the evil stepmother while trying to live up to the image of the
perfect housewife/mother. Mothers want to create a perfect nuclear family, which is

difficult to create with children that also have their biological mother. They do not want
to get in the way of the biological mother, but also want to create this bond between the
father, her, and the children. If the stepmother does not achieve this balance, then the
stepmother can feel stuck in a losing battle because she cannot create this family
atmosphere. (Teyber 243)
Stepfathers were seen more as the ones who would invest in their stepchildren
more, especially if they were stepsons, where stepmothers were seen to put more
investment in their biological children. However, it is more likely for stepmothers to try
and keep a relationship between the biological father and the child (Schmeeckle, 184).
There is this need in our society to be the nuclear family. Although this is
becoming less of a reality as the amount of divorces keeps rising. While the nuclear
family can provide the stabilization that is beneficial to children as they grow, this can
also be achieved in a stepparent family. This can especially be beneficial with parents
that were in harmful situations before with the other biological parent.
There are many different definitions to what a stepparent is and many different
types of stepparent-stepchild relationships, even ones that go against the social norms,
some of these relationships can be beneficial to children in stepfamily homes.
Especially after the initial crisis period that follows the new relationship; many children
can start to appreciate what their stepparents have contributed to the family.

Work Cited
Collins, Steve. 2013. S316 The Family, lecture notes. Indiana University Bloomington,
June 24, 2013
Gerson, Kathleen. 2010. The Unfinished Revolution: Coming of Age in a New Era of
Gender, Work, and Family. New York: Oxford University Press.
Marsiglio, William. 2007. Overlooked Aspects of Stepfathering. Pp. 556-571 in Shifting
the Center: Understanding Contemporary Families. New York: McGraw-Hill
Companies
Mason, Mary Ann. 2007. The Modern American Stepfamily: Problems and Possibilites.
Pp. 540-556 in Shifting the Center: Understanding Contemporary Families. New
York: McGraw-Hill Companies
Schmeekle, Maria. 2007. Gender Dynamics in Stepfamilies: Adult Stepchildrens
Views. Journal of Marriage and Family 69(1): 174-189. Retrieved July 22, 2013
(http://www.jstor.org/stable/4622424)
Stewart, Susan D. 2001. Contemporary American Stepparenthood: Integrating
Cohabitating and Nonresident Stepparents. Population Research and Policy
Review 20(4):345-364. Retrieved July 22, 2013
(http://www.jstor.org/stable/40230315)
Teyber, Edward. 2001. Helping Children Cope with Divorce. San Francisco: JosseyBass