Youth Panel Discussion

LIFE CONFERENCE
2014
#CCWCLIFE

Saturday July 26, 2014

Moderated by Min. Mitchell Floyd & Pastor Marwin C. Reeves, Jr.
Christ Community Worship Center
Williamsport, PA
All questions were submitted anonymously by youth who
attended the conference.

Panelist: Carmen Rubin

Author, Publisher, Singer, Speaker

New Jersey
www.carmenrubin.com
(Responses in Black)

Panelist: Jerry Franklin Poe

Student Leadership Speaker

Kennett Square, PA
EmpowerYourStudent.com
(Responses in Red)

Panelist: Min. Jaeson Smith

Zion Temple Youth Leader

Havre de Grace, MD

Panelist: Josh Tobias

First United Methodist Church Youth Leader

Williamsport, PA

Be very careful about the company you keep, the things you watch and listen to. Sexual feelings ARE normal. Stay
busy and impress yourself by being disciplined in the best possible way you can. Again, your feelings ARE normal.

Lately, I find myself lusting a

lot. How do I stop myself or prevent something bad
happening?

Examine what you're doing to feed the desires you're having. Who/What are you listening to? What are you
watching? What are you reading? Instead of feeding into the desires, you want to starve them. Focus your mind
on things that reinforce righteous behavior.
Always remember this: Thoughts lead to Emotions, Emotions lead to Actions, and Actions lead to Results.
T->E->A->R
Just like a TEAR can roll down your cheek on its own. Your Thoughts can take on a life of their own and eventually
roll into the Results you experience in life. What do you do to stop the TEAR? You wipe it away. Do the same thing
with your thoughts. Check your thoughts and wipe out the garbage (unrighteous and disempowering stuff) in your
mind. Limit (or eliminate) the opportunities to act on those desires. Don't put yourself in situations where you will
be tempted.

The best way to witness to someone is to be the best you. That is very attractive. People will want to know
how you got to where you are. Your life is the best witness, then when you talk, people will believe you.

As a Student athlete what are some

ways I can witness to people?

If you are a Christian, what do you

feel about birth control?

I have a severe skin problem and I

dont know how to make myself
feel pretty like all the other girls
who wear make-up and nice
clothes?

How can you help me, I am

struggling with not knowing who
my father is?

Actions will always trump words. Display Godly leadership and Godly character.
Understand how you act outside the game and outside of practice will have more of an impact on people.
How you treat those who aren't as popular as you might be. How you act with your teammates and classmates when you think no one is watching. When people see God in your character, then they're more willing
to listen to Godly advice. Show Christ, before you share Christ. Listen for opportunities to share. People will
leave clues they need/want help if we listen, more than we talk. Ask questions to create conversation. Ask
about life (family, academics, recreation, and motivations). Before you share, ask if they're open to advice...
"I know how you feel, I felt the same way, Do you want to know what I found to help me (when)".
Point them to resource. (Bible Verse/Scripture, Prayer, Church Service/Event, or Church Leader)

Girls take birth control for many reasons, sometimes its necessary to regulate the cycle, stop cramps AND it prevents birth. Of course, abstaining from sex until you are married is preferred and the best form of birth and disease control, but if you dont think you can discipline yourself, it is better to protect yourself from diseases and
early parenting.
Birth control is designed to prevent pregnancy. Therefore, if you are Christian and single I would hope you are
practicing abstinence. If you are Christian and married, then you have a personal decision to make with your
spouse about whether you are ready to have children. In the case of married couples, I feel it's appropriate to
decide if birth control is right for them or not.

Never compare yourself to anyone. You are beautifully made and constructed exactly the way God wants
you. Every flaw to you is a beauty mark to God. Know who you are in God, he has made you flawless! Confidence is within and there is not one perfect person on the planet. If you have skin issues, ask someone to help you find what remedy will work for your issue. Sometimes its diet, sometimes its your age, sometimes it your cleansers, there are many reasons. The key is trying to find what will work for you because you
want nice skin, not because you want to look like other girls. If you are allowed to wear a little cover up to decrease the appearance of blemishes thats another option. In terms of nice clothes, look in magazines and you
can learn how to put things (like what you have at home) together. The key to style is simply learning how to put
what you have together. Create your own style, hey you may start a new trend!
How you feel about yourself is determined by how you see yourself. No matter what you put on the outside
(clothes, hairstyle, or make-up) to improve your appearance, the feeling you have about how you look will still be
generated by your internal belief system. (see last page for continuation)

That is a tough problem that some parents impose on us to deal with not knowing how hard it is for us to live
with. That is why it is important to be careful who you have sex with. Fathers dont realize the value and importance of the presence. You can pray to ask God for a father figure in your life. Someone who can teach you
what you need to know to be successful in life, especially as a parent to your own children. If you really want to
think big, ask God to send you your own father who is now in a really good place, can help you heal, and who
would be a great influence on you. There is nothing impossible for God!
Naturally, there is a need to know your biological father. However you may not have any control over the status
of your relationship with him. What you do have control over is your relationship with your Heavenly Father. He
is a Father to the fatherless. He will never leave you or forsake you. He will always love and comfort you.

What is the purpose of dating?

From a Christian perspective, one should date looking for an equally yoked (the right match or good fit) to be
married to. However, this generation is not in a rush to be married, so they date as a social way of getting to know
someone(s). Asking God to send the right fit is a huge plus!
The purpose of dating to find a spouse. It's a process of getting to know a person with the intended outcome being
marriage.

How does Music and Media have

an influence on us?

Garbage in Garbage out. Understand that the enemy has an agenda and uses music and media to control, desensitize, and manipulate the world. Notice how people today are becoming more tolerant of sin. The media connects all of us to the world, whatever the devil wants translated, he makes the most impact through these two
vessels. Remember the devil was a master musician, he knows how to get his point across through music. Usually, without people even knowing that it is happening. Stay conscious, pay attention and dont be
fooled!
Whatever you watch, listen to, and read continuously will influence how you think. It's called programming. Have
you ever had a song stuck in your head all day? If hearing a 3 minute song one time can do that, then image the
impact of listening continuously. Have you watched a scary movie, then feel jumpy and paranoid all night long? If
seeing a two hour movie one time can do that, then image the impact reading and watching everyday.

I am unaware of my attitude and

body language, how can I change
that?

You have to work at it. Start the day out with affirmations and confirmations. Start out with something like this. I
have a great attitude, I am lovable, I attract great people. I live a life of success and my body language says
so. When people see me, they see a person they want to look like.
Decide to become aware. Make a conscious effort to focus on have your attitude and body language match up
with the message you want to communicate. Practice speaking in front of a mirror. Look at body posture and
facial expression. Does what you see create the image you want to communicate? Are you sending mixed messages (your words don't match your tone and body language)? Get a resource (book, audio, or video) on body language and communication. Take the time to practice what you learn.

Find someone you can trust to speak your feelings to. Living with masks will catch up to you. Holding it in is always an unhealthy
way to handling your feelings. If you feel like you need a professional counselor, do not be afraid to make that know. The sooner
you handle your depression the better. Sometimes, depression can be fixed when you change the way you look at things. Prayer
and Perspective matters.

How can I deal with my depression

internally, as I mask it on the
outside with socially activities?

How do you deal with knowing that

you want to fit in with the crowd,
but at the same time know you
have a higher calling?

Depression is a serious issue. If your depression is chronic I would recommend seeking help from a licensed professional
(counselor, therapist). You can only mask your feelings temporarily, eventually your internal feelings will come to the surface.
Changing how you feel internally ultimately means changing how you think. What thoughts are causing you to feel depressed?
Are there any unresolved issues in your life you keep focusing on? Are you focused on things you have no control over? Are you
living in the past or the present? When you think or focus on stuff you cannot change or control, you end up feeling powerless.
Focus on what you have control or influence over. Focus on things you can change. Let go of the past. Let go of things you cannot
change. Learn to adapt instead. Learn to look for the solutions in life rather than the problems. Keep track of your victories in life.
Build an emotional bank account of positive memories and experiences. Keep a journal of all the positive things you accomplish
and compliments you receive.

Nothing wrong with fitting into crowds. We all have a crowd we want to fit into. Just be careful how you are
influenced in that crowd. If you have a higher calling, God will have you emerge as the go to person in that
crowd. Be you, but understand that you are a part of the crowd for a godly reason. Be aware of who you are.
Everyone has a desire to fit in. However you want to make sure the crowd you are choosing to associate with
matches up with your overall objectives and direction in life.
When you develop a long term vision for your life, you will realize the crowd is temporary. For this current season (of your life) those people are the ones you want to fit in with. However when you change seasons (get older, go to college, or start your career) you'll have less of a need to fit them with the old crowd, because there will
be a new one. Since the people in your life change over time don't allow the desire to fit to be your life compass.
Set your priorities based on where you want to be in the future.

What kind of person would I be, if I

listen to the wrong music?

How can I receive help, as I am

struggling with temptations?

You can be anything you put your mind to. Be very careful though, garbage in, garbage out. Music is a powerful
tool that should be listened to consciously.
You will be a person, who's life reflects the lyrics of the music you listen to.
Remember music is designed to create an emotional reaction. People act in life based on how the feel.

Temptations will always be around, whatever you are struggling with, ask God for help. You also have to stay
away from the things that tempt you. The best help at times is just staying away from people and things that
tempt you. Sometimes you have to discipline yourself to say no and keep yourself occupied with the things that
are good for you. Its hard, but it is possible. If you need help, find a person you can trust.
The best help you can give yourself in regards to temptation is to avoid it.
If you know you are weak in certain areas of your life as a Christian, then don't set yourself to fall. Understand
your limitations and set boundaries for yourself. Spend more time in environments where your faith can be
strengthened.

God speaks in many ways. You have to be paying attention in order to hear him. Some examples happen this
way When God speaks there is a voice inside of you that feels sure, calm, and confident. You just know it because in most cases it doesnt sound like you. God speaks through his word, so the more you read it, the more
you begin to recognize what his voice sounds like.

How do you know God is speaking

to you?

Over the years God has used many different methods to speak to me. Sometimes it's through reading the Bible,
listening to someone speak, a conversation with a friend, and even watching a movie. God is speaking to us more
than we realize. When I get new ideas and solutions to problems when I wake up in the morning I recognize it's
God speaking to me. When God speaks, you will know because what you hear is in alignment with His Word. God
isn't going to tell you to do something contrary to his Word or something to cause you harm. Also, when God
speaks there is a peace or comfort associated with what you hear.

You can hear it, or you can feel it. God deals with people differently, but you just know through the experiences
that you have, how people respond to you, how things are impacted after you have been in the room. You have
that gut feeling that you are different in a special way.

How do you know if you have a call

on your life?

We all have a "call" on our lives. You were created to solve a problem on this planet.
A better question to ask is what are you called to do. What problems are you called to solve?
Your talents and gifts fit the problems you are called to solve.
Are you called to be an entrepreneur? Are you called to be an educator? Ministry isn't limited to the church.
Some people are called to work in the marketplace in order to provide resources for the church to thrive.

Leaders usually emerge naturally within a group of people. If you are a leader, you can simply work at being a
better you, people will follow success. Another characteristic of a leader is that they are interested in producing
more leaders and less followers. Be the best YOU!

How can I be a better leader on and

off the court?

Your level of leadership will be determined by your character development.

Become a person of integrity. People are more likely to follow you when they trust you.
Be tenacious. No one wants to follow a quitter. No wants to follow someone who runs from challenges. Become
resilient. How quickly can you bounce became from a defeat? Leaders know how to recover from a loss and
move on the next event in life.

Find a way to socialize more. No one can know how beautiful you are if you stay hidden.

How do I strengthen my confidence, if I am in lonely situations?

How do I do the right things and

believe God?

Your level of confidence is related to your beliefs about yourself & your life. Build your confidence on the fact of
Christ being your strength. Remember you are never truly alone, because God is always with you. Learn to be
comfortable being by yourself. Understand being alone doesn't equal lonely. Feeling lonely comes from believing
you're lonely and acting like you're lonely. If you don't like the feeling, then change your behavior.

If it is your desire to do the right thing, you have to put doing the right thing into practice. Every day, you have to
discipline yourself by thinking and working hard are doing whats right. Believing God is not always easy so you
have to put God to the test. You have to speak to him often, read his word and try to find out what he has to say
through the word. The more you learn his voice, the easier it is to believe him. When you find yourself struggling to believe, keep believing. Its work, but worth it!
Read your Bible. Listen to recording of message from your Pastor. Attend as many church services as possible.
Communicate with God your Father. Surround yourself with people who are living the Christian lifestyle you
desire to have. Make a daily appointment with yourself to work on growing and developing your faith.

Its always been and always will be. Be YOU!

Why is there a standard for image

today?

Our generation has a mindset of

how we are to look, when in all reality no one is supposed to be
perfect right?

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1:

I have a severe skin problem and I
dont know how to make myself
feel pretty like all the other girls
who wear make-up and nice
clothes?

There has been and always will be a societal standard in terms of image. However as a Christian, you want your
standard to match what the Word says. The image society creates change from year to year. Model the image God
has set for us.

No one is perfect, we are all a work in progress! Remember though, beauty comes from within, work on that!
People will ultimately want to be around YOUR look.
Regardless of what generation your apart of everyone cares about how they look. It's human nature. As a human
you are born with faults and flaws. Learn to understand and accept your strengths and weakness. Realize you're
perfect in your imperfection. Everybody makes mistakes. The goal is to learn from them and move on.

What do you consider beauty?

What makes a person attractive?
Your answers to these questions will tell you what you currently believe.
Only way to feel beautiful is to believe you are beautiful. Start seeing yourself the way God sees you. Then affirm
to yourself everyday how beautiful are you.
"I am beautiful. I am unique and valuable. I focus on the positive and attract only good things to myself. I am
perfect just the way I am. I am enough. I love myself totally and completely. God made me perfect in every way. I
am beautiful, inside and outside. I choose how I feel by the way I think and talk."