For

my Oldest Friend, Terry D. Dillion (1944-2015)

The Human Heart is a Bud to be Broken Open,

Again and again, until it Dies into its Seed. Terry,


I Wondered into your Wound circa 1959, Springboro, Ohio
Panthers, silly 15 y.o. Sophomores Asleep in the Beasts Teeth.


You never really Woke Up, but I did and escaped La Mordida.
Praise the Pain, our Frail Tendrils Entwined, Endured 56 years.


From your trembling Confession of Gayness at 18 to
Your last stammering Its Hard two weeks before you Died,


We were Together Apart and our I Love You Held.
I Understood your Ignorance and you Ignored my Understanding.


Trifles, Truffles, French Romantic Poets and Sauces were your Want.
I Threw Up on Rimbaud and Grew Up on Camus and Big Macs.

I attended your Graduation as a Route 66 Wayward Wanderer
Wondering Why you bothered to Cater to those who Demonized You.


I was Damned according to America and I Decided to Crucify Me.
I sailed to Nassau to leave America to Destroy Itself and Die for You.


It took me many Yearns to Live for Myself and be Responsibly Free.
Many Deaths, many Lives later, here I am as Resource for your Source.


I turned my Damn and Damage into a Dam and Manage.
I Survived to Thrive through Gods & Deaths into Freedom & Responsibility.


My Springboro Panthers, this Poem is for You so Different from Me.
Consider, Terry, Gay, Lonely, who died Alone Understood by Me. Sapere Aude.