Joe Burke November 21,2014 ‘TE-802.015 Student Work Analysis Part 1 Context: Throughout the year, my class has been fackting several units at once. The students have read Romeo and alle’ aud done several assignmnents relating to it, written a fown-page petsonal nastative, practiced making textual connections, waitten regularly in @ writer's notebook, and read texts of their choosing independenily. My studeats are now working on a very formal five-paragraph analy essay about Romeo and Juliet. With so mach front-loading of writing process practice, Thay students I expect them to ace this formal assignment and elevate it with something of their own. The prompts for the essay are broad, and I have been working closely with each student to develop a claim ‘nd support. They have practiced this extensively, so it is coming fairly easy to thenn, The hard partis crafting something unique, which Theartly encourage them to do. Goals: ~ practice writing ~ turning opinions inte theories ~ supporting a claim “The essay prompis lend themselves to choice: analyzing a character relationship, describing the role of a supporting principal character, arguing various social impacts of the play, psychoanalyzing specific characters, examining the language of the play. All prompts require students to provice reasoning and evidence, be built upon a cohesive argument, and have a clear beginning, middle, and end. ‘Lwant to teach them thatthe five-paragraph essay will be inadvertently accomplished via their own creativity.Romeo and Juliet Final Essay ESSAY PROMPTS (choose one): 1. ‘Analyze a character relationship in Romeo and Juliet. Choose from the following list: (Romeo & Juliet; Nurse & Juliet; Mercutio & Romeo; Lord Capulet & Juliet; Friar Lawrence & Romeo; Tybalt & Romeo). How are these characters related? How does their relationship change throughout the play? How does this affect the whole story and/or other characters? Use specific examples or quotes from the play to support your analysis. 2. Describe Friar Lawrence’s role in the play. Is he a protagonist, an antagonist, or neither? How is the course of the play affected by Friar Lawrence? Use quotes to support your claim. 3. Argue what Shakespeare's portrayal of women is in Romeo and Juliet. ‘Are women portrayed positively or negatively overall? Use specific quotes, lines, and events from the play to support your claim. 4. Does fate and destiny play a role in this play or not? Use specific ‘examples or quotes from the play to support your stance. 5, What is the root of Juliet's internal conflict? Cite specific lines and or events from the play to support your claim. 6 Why does Mercutio behave the way that he does throughout the play? Tdentify a specific behavior and analyze why you believe Mercutio exhibits this behavior. Use quotes to support your claims. 7. Other (Your topic must be approved by the teacher before you can choose this option.) ~ Ideas to consider: [analyze a specific character, analyze a speech, etc. - make a claim, provide reasoning and evidence] MAJOR ESSAY GUIDELINES: + five paragraphs (introduction, three body paragraphs, conclusion) + MLA format (size 12 Times New Roman, proper quote format & citations, double spaced) includes quotes and examples from Romeo. and Juliet built upon a cohesive argument/ciaim directly related to Romeo and Juliet includes a clear thesis statement in the introduction paragraph proper spelling and grammar has'a clear beginning, middle, and end, and uses smooth transitions‘sAgonuSap S10UL 9g 1,UpMOo ovo" peor ay ing ‘surwarer Losear pwe sorp ploostp ‘pus 20 Ul somo om Zo asptur amy Uy 20104. sAzt] 04 WoAD aISEHIIS osaar Jo sjoqmAs sexRO pu “oTTOANE ‘sou SUL 450.80 Suypoay pur ‘yTeuoREE amp ono Suo—9] ‘sys THRO Se JOR TTEAKT pur ‘ONNoLayy “sousIALeT FORO SEY, ‘sonerey Bueearr wo sttoe Sor se ‘oouscoseyp yeyo0s way wu wopnedaioo we Apueystos s} toReMesEL Tetp yng “CiystaNEar osuoT Me OM ISZpEAT aUreyA eM pe Comoy ‘ssore sed nam meq yandeD yoHNE puw oreo oawsoy ‘sran0] afeuae} Jo saay sey WT sep mag 8 stretep Az0is au, Surpue parsing otf usar esuas saxyor Tory ‘Apoden ze paqqnp ‘moog souls sey yz ng “SL JO oAROOTIL ATyBIY are moe Moy ISIE oT pu ‘Apautoo v se yx Bua weBaq areodsaxwug “peSen pur Spaumco wpog Jo squetaaye otseq rsow amp pire 3Seq arp serelnsdeous ‘Kzoys Ao] poBreyo STeuonome ue “Kay ety, “amNo pu ommn spasosuen ‘semmeup nearmadsaneyg romso ysoUs aN Yetyp pun oowoy s,oreadsareUS WENANeme: Date: ‘Weite your thesis statement on the lines below. Then write each of your reasons, including the line numbers for the quotes you are using, ‘Your partner will read your thesis and suppor, and argue against ‘you. Use this as you continue to write; i is important to address countet arguments in your essay! Support 2: Support 3: ‘TRADE PAPERS WITH A PARTNER Partner's Name: ‘Counterclaim (the ‘opposite’ of the thesis): Soppet 1 (using textual evidence): BL Support 2 (using textual evidence): _rs Student Work Analysis Part #2} selected threc essays writen by students in my elass to analyze for this project 1 The first essay was well written and properly formatted, but lacked a sound argument and thesis statement. “The socond essay had a strong argnment, but the thesis was poorly constructed. It contained cloments of the proper formatting, but was not formal in its structure. ‘The third essay was well written, had a unigue and logical thesis, and seored highest among. all of ay students selected the first essay because the student in question ip struggled to develop a thesis in ‘hich he was actualh qvidelines as best he could, but he wasn't engaging with the text critically. His essay sammatized Romeo nd Julies with well crafted sentences and an appropriate level of detail. iiiintroduced and used quotes intelligently, he made few mistakes in following MLA format, he wrote five paragraphs, and the essay had a smooth flow ftom begining to middle to end, He had no legitimate thesis at ll, however, and the essay was not built around an argument. I chose this pioce because the assessment was designed to demonstrate two skills: following guidelines to produce a formal five-paragraph essay, and crafting a sound argument using textual evidence. This sident accomplished one, but completely failed a the other. (GBBiisterpeetea the assignment asa formal demonstration of his understanding of Romeo and Luliet In a way, he was right, but he neglected the creative aspect of it This interpretation is actualy something Lexpected to see more, but 9ijkwas one of the only ones who tacked it this way. And I'm ‘ruly pleased about this, [would rather have students (Like the second essay, written by Ql) demonstrate thir engagement wit the text through creativity and argumentation than through summarization and structure. Nevertheless, Iam fairly happy that pws able to at least accomplish the strucharal aspects of the assessment, (9d scragoes in language arts. expected poorly written essay, to be honest, and T was unsure {ecested. He understood the directions to the assignment, and followed the of what fo expect in terms of his argumentation. His essay was well-written, and for that Twant to reward. I selected the second essay because, unlike the frst essay, it demonstrated engagement with the ‘ext, but lacked adherence to structural ghidelines. This student struggles balancing social relationships and academic progress. When he sits with his friends, he becomes disongaged with class. Whon ho sits swith people he doesn’t know at all, he becomes distant, But when he is seated with good students who he is acquainted with, his performance improves significantly. MBB interpreted the assignment casually He focused on making sound claims and roferencing the text as much as possible. L was very happy to see this. He isan interesting student, and I really like him.ie cares about bis leaming, and he shows respect toward me and all other students. Fe is sometimes rowdy and often plays on is phone, but he’s « nice kid. T selected the third essay because it exceeded my expectations. This student is rather hyperactive, especially during my class. Sho was quiet of first, but became comfortable around me, and has begun to io crazy, She isthe girl who bed a sweater over her head in my last video post, She is also an excellent student, and very intelligent. BEB 2s 0 very quiet student at fst, but she has recently opened up. She is often very distracted, and can even be distracting to others. She struggles with staying focused and being on task. But if let her ran around (figuratively and literally), she produces excellent work.‘Smdent Work Analysis Part #3 ‘The students ia my ninth grade language arts class have done soveral writing assignments. They have written personal narratives, they write weekly in their writer’s notebook, there have been a dozen ‘writing-based worksheets, and they have, of course, constricted a formal five-paragraph essay, While T haye monitored my students’ work process and accomplishments in all ofthese writing assignments, 1 chose to focus on the formal five paragraph essay for the student work analysis prompt. I did this because [find the idea of tho five-paragraph essay to be quite intoresting. I remerober being asked to write these types of essays 2s a student, and [remember being good at it, bu also managing to get away with not quite following the formalities of it. Tunderstand why it is a requirement for schools, because it's the best possible way to standardize writing for the sake of atest, but I don’t particularly like the concept. Thad always given my students a Tot of freedom and creativity in their writing, especially in their personal narratives, which were delightful. So I tackled this five-paragraph argumentative essay as something else. [told the class how L felt about the assignment, but I said that it had to be done, and 1 expected high quality, foumal essays. I wanted fo see how well they could follow directions, and to help them with their formal work process. I did tell my students [expected them to take this formal assignment and clevate it with something of their own, but most of them were too overwhelmed With the structure to do that, 1 pained me every time Thad to tell a student that something seemed {00 informal for their essay, because that was usually their most creative part. It would have been nicer to have longer with this ‘writing process. My students bad four weeks to complete their personal narratives, and I helped them all in their work process, But for this assignment, the students only had about one week. I believe that the necessary elements in an argumentative essay can be accomplished organically when the formal requirements are set aside and the student simply cares about their argument. Perhaps with more time, [could have introduced the assignment casually, and helped my students develop their arguments. The five paragraph essay would have materialized without the students even realizing it, as a pleassat surprise. Unfortunately, since Lopened withthe formalities, the students, in their struggle to produce something so rigid, went one of two ways, Some students focused on structure, and ng that was in MLA format, was five paragraphs long, and referenced Romeo and Juliet ‘exactly three times, but lacked a sound argument, and looked more like a summary than anything else. turned in some ther students crafted high quality thesis statements, sngued for something unique, and demonstrated their engagement with the text by referencing it frequently, but didn’t use MLA format, and followed no ‘coherent paragraph structure. This is what [ wanted fo Took more closely at for the stadent work analysis prompt, T chose three essays that represented three different approaches to the assigntnent. The first essey, “writen by fil was focused on foomat, but lacked a sound thesis. The second essay, written by ly ‘was focused on the argument, but neglected to follow formatting directions. ‘Phe tied essay was well rounded, with a unique argument, and the proper formatting. I found myself inclined to favor the student Who ignored the formatting but succeeding in crafting a sound argument, jg I wanted to reward thisbecause axgumentation is the critical thinking aspect of the assignment, and formatting is just following direotions. But I told myself] should also reward formatting becanse it's so important, especially for standardized tests, college applications, job applications, and almost evecytiing in the “real world.” Fortunately, the next unit in my Innguage arts class is argumentation in advertising, which requires another five paragraph argumentative essay. I can work with individual students on this essay, ‘focusing on their shorteomings from the previons essay. Twill work with ion content, Iwill work ‘with ion formatting, end I will work with HB on Focusing hee rpument and perfecting her sentence and paregraph structure, j i | |oy JE XR eK Ree’ 4 yy Y aae 2b 4 ‘Shakespeare's “Romeo and Julie” is a tale of ove, tragedy, and a bil ofcomedy. yen with all ofthe comedic foes inthe pay, one catmot help but feel sad forthe young coup. Romeo and Joliet share the most sacred bund of all, Jove. How strong is is this love? Strong enough for Romeo to forget ‘the batred between the two families to be with Juliet Strong enough for Jaliet fo fike her own death so they could be together, I’s enovgh for the two to kill themselves because they can’t live without each other. ea x Forms) THESIS ~ One ofthe wae that Romeo and Ft sve ths bonds becane Romeo i wing opt is Montagne name for Juliet. In the balcony scene, Joliet asks Romeo, “art thou-not Romeo, and a Montagne?” Julctis asking if Romeo is like allthe other Montagnes. She wants to know if he doesn’t cite These poetes: like bee becanse she: isa Capulet. Win ‘who siding jn the orchard boars thi, ho eps. “Neither, fair saint, either bee dishes.” Romro is teling Juliet that be is not Romeo or a Montagne, - en A Hb refisng bis name because he knows thats the only way they can be together. (fea Another way hat the two's song bond is shown s by how meh bt J wat fake her owndeath so she canbe wih Romeo, When Friar Latrence tel Jit bout the potion she exclaims, “ive me, give me! 0, tellme not offi.” She is eagerto petthe potion, She esto Tear “tlieSe pot of far,” and that means she does not want to know what the dangers are, She doesn’t care about veg good J wny that Romeo snd Joliet show (hei bond i how they are-wiling to Isl any dangers, she just wants to bury up anbe wih Romeo, Pedhaps the tiemoclves because they can'tbe together. When Romeo Deas that Juliet s dead, inmedintely buys poison and plans fo silhinseit He is so in love with her that be could not ive without her so he Is binsei€. When Tiel wakes wp an ins thnt Romeo bas ile hirself by drinking the poison, she sa, “O happy dagger, This i thy sheath. There rast and Jetme di.” She sees that with Romeo dead, she vyllneverbe able to have her tue Tove, so she ends her lit to be with Romeo ja heaven. Tnconchsion, the bond that Romeo and Jolt share cannot be broken. Ttis the strongest bond, ofall, They show thet love i a very strong bond and those who share twill do anything because ofit Romeo aud Juliet went to extreme Imgihs because oftheir ve, Romo refised his Montagne ‘background to be wilh Jul, Jue was wilig to fake her ovin deatho be with Romeo, ‘The two even, Jdled themselves because they thought Iit- was impossible without each other, Gook Conclesiery pengryps Liee job . ps we/[-wA tea &. forigthed essdy tig — Bor te lacks A Concise and arguable. 6! eae cretion methods!st Give Aor Binal Essay ve ‘Bpekan: ROUT? ¥“ Romoo is defintely a lover, he's big hearted and fils in ove too quickly. Ore mst bes jnlove wilh one gid then you tum yourhead and he loves a diffrent gil He can never neake up his rind. With Romeo not knowin, the gre Joes end up fling in ove wi Jui hicks itp oto ing never binsci! Romeo. doesnt have any idea whats about to happen after he finally males up his mind on realy bbving Joli. This ater on becomes the camse ofother peoples deaths, allofbecanse fe thought something happened to Jet when nothing did. This relationship Iter on becomes ths reason for b esis & evidence oftte characters deaths, ee im othe. intro — Wed] LoneL oh { _ WwActl, Scene Romeo and his finds are tiling about Rosaline, Romeo is heart ‘broken over Rosaline and be asks his fiends: Romeo: “Is love a tender thing? It is too rough, too rude, ? wz) (her SEME LIE) Beis saying is love supposed to be rough? ne ce Jad fallen in Jove top quickly with Rosalie, & Coakusing work bop EXCMEM~ pont” seems like Romco can tellhe loves @ eee bes eg So far ithas not worked dif too Bood for him, too boist'rous, and # picks fike a thor Romeo should have never been at Capukts party, he was too sad and Lunt fiom im getting rejected, but his iicads pushed him into going. Going into the party be was sila love with Rosalne, his mind he was never going o find another git ike her, his fiends try to get himto go and he replies: Romeo: “Not I, belive me youave dancing shnes with nine soles; ave a aol ffead so stakes met the pro cannot meeRomeo is beatt broken, to hi bis fi js over because ofthis oue gil hatrejected him, Afler Romeo meets let at the Capuiet party, they both fill fove with each other quickly, not even two weeks later Joliet decides fo fake kill herself, well Romeo hears the news ibat Tuliet is dead, when sealy she is Ske seeping so he poes and asks Bathasar joe a poison to LiL hingel ears ‘plot Bytthezar ie Apsthecg. ~~ Romeo: “Come hither, man. I see that thou art poor: Hook, there i forty dents “Lot tne have a dram of poison, such soon-speeding gear as will disperse tse through al the ‘veins that the Hit-weary taker may falldead + nd thatthe trunic may be discharged of breatt as violenlly as hasty powder fred doth hurry from the fatal carnmons worrb” (211, 58-65) see aeqen"L” coach ee wt Stiri tine bey a been’, he es ov i re, toes om in sing wi en Jr Oho willnever love apain, to him kifing kimself over i Solthe death of Ronee is cansed by ove itself Romeo falling into is taps too easly, being too open heaited, convincing bimselfof things that aren't always (ruc. Hee doesnt thin before he acts, ice when be found out Tut was “dead” the fist thing that came ins rnd was to kilhiesci£ Due to his we. concldsr quick actions he ended vp whore he did, dead. felieeatts ‘\ cellent thea! Really ex ac udeat about “Royew's hastuess MM love strong. iS prgpression From ‘Postlme. t= ov de a gent jh oF Your ary 7s ve _fulzet= 8 Pnferestiy ak” 9 arguing hee hig’ can be ihe. Gavse oF The Lratedy m the play . : ee. of fe e854) TS net ekactly correct, bet gov do vse gets Upprtegy. even though veg erent cited properties.Inthe story of The Tr agkedy of Romeo and Juliet by Wiliam Shakespeare, Romeo aust Tot ‘ofopposite Latefl fares fl in ovo. Inthe end the two joyous teens kill themselves because of conficis between the two funilies. Incidentally, ater the deait’s ofRomeo and Jul, the funiies esol the profonged fend. The disagreement between the two fauifes goes way back in Gioe and mo ‘one now's how it came to be. It creates many obstacles for the fimnilies sheonghaut the book. The conficts between the fares crcate fights wf ofthe fights is whick three people are killed. Shakespeare fhcuses his wailing oninly on Jnesor and the catastrophe anakes the play seem very dak. iE ‘The families batrod foreach other thriughout the book creates what tur the book into-a masacre The . cconficts of the Moufague and Capult family tm the phy flora. light bearted comedy into adark te Thest: ~verg obsenity : 1006) isehieF Fics ofall, what caused the fradégi of Romeo and Jalct ware the fghs and batts among the two famiios. What realy caused the sequence of events fo happen was the feud, but closer to the end ofthe book Ibs Romen, Renvolio, Mercutio, und some other mon get info a fight and Mercutio and ‘Tybalt got killed “O Romeo, Romeo, brave Mescutin’s dead!” (3.1.123), and because of this fi shrelwe this poorer (Dicky te fight, Bemvelits 599.3. ‘Romeo gets banished, Before this fight Romeo and Juliet are happily getting mantied and snddeniy the ‘families brawl. ‘The scene when both characters dic turns the book dark but it has slowly been approaching, i pub ere ry ie ty tt et gets worse and tums this play into — es om something so trapic. The, fend between the families tarns Romco and Jutivis love for each other during xcellentpemis the book: into « tragedy because the furily ends up geting ito a batt: in which Tybalt and’ Mercutio die Evides = MeSODand they were important characters. Just because ofthe big fight, i-turned this major event isto something huge for the town, Romo being bathed, and inthe end they both ley dead. Another reason why the fd between faiios causes the play to turn into something very optesaing is whon the servants get oto fightin the beginning, “Draw, if you be men. Gregory, remember thy swashing blow,” (1.1.64), Sampson tel Gregory to dray bis weapon an prepare for a am pepe mateeduces ae Cifed ~ bk Ln ‘ight This introduces you to the feud that goes for the eatre book and even causes Romeo and Jact’s | ‘rogedies, Having a fighl is an preat enfertaning introduction T suppose but it gives yous major hiot tbat somathing major will happen in the play and that the two files hate each.ofher. Prom other plays T oi Raiinuna Fore shad on itag: { GoeR pewt— have Iearned that Shakespeare likes to write sbout comedies, ‘the words and lines before this fight ar ‘funy but it eads ino something that could eppearto be tragic in some ways fo people, Luckily, the fst major events between the Smilies, ‘Lastly, an event that makes the play an obsenity i when Romeo and his fiends crash the Copuiet party and Tybalt is complaining, Tybalt complaining about thenn crashing a party is absurd. because everyone else in the town is there tno. I¢ring out how sich hatred the famiics realty have for each ofher and the next day thovfamiliss 394 eto a fi again. Tybalt mew not have bees complaining ithe contict was that bad and it woukdn’'t fea hin into getting more into battles with the ‘Montagues. It tus ikno a dark fine: because Romeo and Jubst are about to weet aod Tybalis supposed to be having a great time at the party, but instead he is combining about how his enemy ‘amity there. Also, i's dart: because Lord Montagne does not even care that the Monta gues are there and Tybalt does, which makes themn getint a it the nextday. “ “Tish, that villain Romeo.” (1.5.71), how does “this | quore, Speci real la, help jor argetont?“Tybalt says to Lord Montagne and this show®%a dark hatred thal turved the play into something terrible. Ja view of tbe fact that Tybal shows his hatred for dhe Montagues i tumarhe-pey rom aucomedy 10+ somthing, very crac ‘In conclasion, there arc seers diffrent bras between the Capulet and Montagne farniy, and so:many fmymotecis that cou ve been saved. Inthe end, Romeo and. ilsbemsales because of Euds prior. Shakespear made 2 peat play butt tamed ato something realy sary. In he ook, they gett two Inge fights, sod Tybalt compl about he Montag fail, these are overts tatmads the book a cre scene. Tho confcts between tie Montague aud Capote fins turn the play ftom a lighthearted corsedy into « darke obsenity. Excellent we -K, - Zometines You repeat the Sane Fabog. anh ih gobs redun Laat But otherwise penrecr & Zan ov Share hrs with me an Groglet Lo nak +0 Us] ay class at Moise © a name. off of TF. it as an exanple ws whl) Pehe- Vee