CONSIDER THESE

I wondered why the baseball was

getting bigger.

Then it hit me.

There was a sign on the lawn at a drug

rehab centre that said

Keep off the Grass

Did you hear about the guy who got

hit in the head with a can of soda?

He was lucky it was a soft drink.

Did you hear about the guy whose

whole left side was cut off?

He's all right now.

Police were called to a day-care

centre

a three-year-old was resisting a

rest.

A small boy swallowed some coins and

was taken to a hospital. When his
grandmother telephoned to ask how he
was, a nurse replied,

No change yet

The experienced carpenter really

nailed it,

but the new guy screwed

everything up.

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some

food colouring. The doctor says I'm
OK, but

I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

I did a theatrical performance about

puns.

Really it was just a play on words.

PUN
A form of word play
that uses words that
sound the same but
which can have more
than one meaning.

SHAKESPEARES ROMEO AND JULIET

Mercutio: Nay, gentle Romeo, we must have you

dance.
Romeo: Not I, believe me. You have dancing
shoes. With nimble soles; I have a soul of
lead. So stakes me to the ground I cannot
move.

SHAKESPEARES ROMEO AND JULIET

Mercutio has been hurt

Mercutio: Ay, ay, a scratch, a scratch. Marry, tis
enough. Where is my page?Go,
villain, fetch a surgeon.
Romeo: Courage, man. The hurt cannot be much.
Mercutio: No, tis not so deep as a well nor so
wide as a church-door, but tis enough,
twill serve. Ask for me tomorrow, and
you shall find me a grave man.

SHAKESPEARES ROMEO AND JULIET

ROMEO: Give me a torch: I am not for this

ambling; / Being but heavy, I will bear the light.

A HYMN TO GOD THE FATHER

When Thou hast done, Thou hast not done / For I

have more.
That at my death Thy Son / Shall shine as he
shines now, and heretofore
And having done that, Thou hast done; / I fear no
more

POETRY

Mary had a little lamb,

You've heard this tale before
But did you know she passed her plate
and had a little more!