Artifacts and Commentary

Artifact #1 Commentary
The fish bowl assignment really prepared me for our in-class activity. The
assignment included choosing two quotes and analyzing them. After analyzing them we
were asked to come up with a question that we didnt have the answer to. The class was
put into groups depending on what two sources you wanted to work with. I chose the
authors Gee and Pratt. For my homework I picked two quotes from each author, and
talked about each quote. When analyzing the quote from Pratt I noticed how some of her
focus connected with the quote I chose from Gees essay. Finding a similarity between
the two essays made me think that it was possible that they could be talking about similar
things but through two different perspectives. This led me to asking a question which
would be asked during our in-class activity. The in-class activity was very helpful to me
because I was able to see other students perspectives on Gee and Pratt. They had
questions that I hadnt even thought of until the discussion. This opened my eyes to new
views on the two authors. I think hearing others thoughts and questions played an
important role in my presentation essay. Before this activity I only had my own
perspective of the authors, but this in-class activity helped me explore from new
perspectives. I think hearing authors thoughts also sparked new questions of mine own.
Which later on I would explore in my essay. After hearing my groups questions and
thoughts I recognized the importance of not being biased in my essay. I still included my
own thoughts on both authors, but I made sure that I was not trying to force my opinion
on my readers. During class I also had the opportunity to hear about the author I didnt
choose to do this assignment on. This was useful for me because it also opened up new
thoughts on Barret. Seeing other students perspectives on the film helped me tie the three
authors together in my presentation essay.
Artifact #1 Sample
Tawni Tamarra
Laurel Cooper
English 101
February 8, 2015
Fish Bowl Prep Homework
1. The very nature of the course put ideas and identities on the line. All students in
the class had the experience, for example, of hearing their culture discussed and
objectified in ways that horrified them; all the students saw their roots traced back

to legacies of both glory and shame; all the students experienced face-to-face, the
ignorance and incomprehensions, and occasionally the hostility, of others. In the
absence of community values and the hope of synthesis, it was easy to forget the
positives; the fact, for instance, that kinds of marginalization once taken for
granted were gone. (Pratt 116)

2. Learning should lead to the ability for all children-mainstream and nonmainstream-to critique their primary discourses and secondary discourses,
including dominant secondary discourses. This requires exposing children to a
variety of alternative primary discourses and secondary ones (not necessarily so
that they acquire them, but so that they learn about them). It also requires
realizing explicitly that this is what good teaching and learning is good at. (Gee
80)

3. After reading the first quote I chose, I was immediately reminded of Gees essay.
Pratt talks about how a students experience can make all the difference in
knowing community values. I believe that Pratt is saying the most important
things can easily be forgotten. After reading the quote from Gees essay, I assume
he is talking about education in a similar way Pratt does. By exposing children to
alternative discourses they learn from them and about them.
4. The question I conclude from these two quotes is, How do community values
play into education systems?

Artifact #2 Commentary
Another class assignment that improved my presentation essay was reading The
Art of Resonance. After reading this passage we tried to find what we thought was the
claim, where the author was extending and authorizing. After writing these down we all
compared where we found these concepts. This assignment was helpful for me because
my claim ended up not being what actually was the authors claim. Before this
assignment I was a little confused on what a claim actually was. I think that this
assignment helped me understand what a claim is, and how to use it in my own papers.
Next we talked about where we saw the author extending and authorizing. I am really
glad we got to look at an author and go over where they used the two concepts. This was
especially important to me because I use both extending and authorizing in my
presentation essay. I had knowledge on both concepts before this passage. Although after
doing this assignment it showed me how to display the concepts without unnecessary
rambling. We also talked about what we thought the author did a good job on. The first
thing I appreciated after reading the text was how it was simple but straight to the point.
The author gave examples that were easy for readers to understand. This helped me cut
out unnecessary rambling and repetition in my presentation essay. Finding places to cut
out in my presentation essay was difficult until I did this assignment. I think this was a
strong example for knowing what to cut and what to add. The last concept we looked at
in this text was the relationship between the thesis and conclusion. My essay lacked a
strong connection between my thesis and my conclusion. I also believe this assignment
showed importance between a writers thesis and conclusion. Overall this assignment
helped me revise my presentation essay to be less confusing. I was able to see where
what I should cut out and what I should add more detail to.
Artifact #2 Sample
Tawni Tamarra
Laurel Cooper
English 101
January 25, 2015

The Art of Resonance

1. I think that the writers main claim is found in the third paragraph, the first
sentence. It says, I notice the difference between artistic photographs and nonartistic photos but only after close examination studying and starring. I thought
this was the main claim because throughout the paper the writer talks about
photography and resonance. This part of the passage basically summarizes how he
views resonance.
2. I see the author extending on the third page, second paragraph. The writer extends
off of Soil Compactor.
3. I see the author authorizing on page four, at the bottom of the page. The writer
basically quotes a piece from This Is our World. This is used in the paper to
back up the authors thoughts.
4. Throughout this essay I noticed that the author does a nice job giving short and
simple examples. There isnt unnecessary rambling with the examples. They are
too the point, and easy to relate to and understand.
5. The relationship that I see with the thesis and conclusion is interesting. In the
beginning of the paper it seems that he is talking about what resonance is. The
author talks about how people dont fully understand art until they full think about
what they are looking at. Towards the end of the paper the writer talks about how
it is typical today for people to misunderstand what true art, and depth is.
Although the writer believes that it still exists, but only if the audience
understands what they are looking at. I would say that this is a little bit of a
reinstatement and it is saying something different.

Artifact Commentary #3
The last assignment from English 101 I believe helped improve my presentation
essay was homework six: question-answer-question. For this assignment the goal was to
think about how Gee and Pratt might relate to each other, and then coming up with
questions we had about them. When comparing both essays I noticed new things that I
hadnt noticed before. After reading Gee I felt that I had learned academic information.
This was intriguing to me, but with Pratts because of her adding a personal story I felt
more connected. I appreciated both essays, but I felt more of a connection because of
Pratts personable introduction. This made me realize that I wanted to be personable in
my portfolio. With Gees essay I learned a lot about discourses, and it made me want to
know more. This assignment led me to question how I could include both types of
information in my portfolio. I also noticed how it felt as if the two authors had different
audiences in mind when writing their essays. Since I wanted to be personable throughout
my portfolio this helped me think of what type of audience I was trying to reach. When
reading Pratts essay I felt that it was more relatable. This is exactly how I came to
conclusion that I wanted my portfolio to be something that my readers could easily relate
to. It was easier for me to understand what Pratt was saying because she gave a different
perspective for me to see. This is what led me to write a letter for my reflective essay.
This assignment helped me see examples and concepts that I wanted to include in my
essays and portfolio.
Artifact Sample #3
Tawni Tamarra
February 2, 2015
Laurel Cooper
Home work six

Homework six: Question-Answer-Question

1.

After reading Gee, I felt like I learned a lot of academic information. I didnt
connect to Gee, but when reading Pratt I felt as if I learned academic
information too. The difference was I felt more of a connection with Pratt
because she told a personal story. I learned new stuff from both authors; it was

just in different ways. Why did Gee not give more of a personal story to his
audience? I feel that when authors do that it is more likely that readers
comprehend or understand. Or does Gee not think that is true? I personally like
2.

when there is a personal story, it draws me into the reading.

I think that Gee was specifically talking to a certain audience. By this I mean he
didnt feel the need to give a personal story to make them understand or
comprehend. This doesnt mean that he doesnt think it is useful; it probably

3.

just wasnt useful in his situation.

I think that since Gee was focusing his writing for education systems, then it
makes sense why he didnt have a personal story. It is more than likely that his
audience already knew briefly about what he was explaining. I believe Pratt
gave a story to make the essay feel more relatable/personal. I personally think it
showed what it meant to her too. Did Pratt tell her story to draw readers in or to

4.

make people understand better or both?

I believe that Pratt probably told the story about her son because she found a
way she could use it throughout her essay. It was easy to relate to, and it made
me feel like I was able to connect it to what I was learning. After realizing how
much affect Pratts personal story had on my thoughts of her reading, I feel as if
I should have added what non-mainstream and mainstream meant to me in my
essay #1. I think it is important to tell the reader why what youre talking about

5.

means something to you.

So I am confused on what an auto ethnographic text is exactly. I briefly
understand that it is a self-reflection on ones personal experience and how they
view cultural, political, understandings, or social meanings. But does this mean
that any paper that I write on my own thoughts, and experiences is an auto

ethnographic text? I feel like I often put in my own thoughts and views in my
papers. Does this mean that Gees essay was an auto ethnographic text? He
explains discourses and other terms in his own words. So that means that that is
what they mean to him, right? In Pratts text she says, Auto ethnographic
works are often addressed to both metropolitan audiences and the speakers own
community. (107) But they dont have to be right? After reading Gee I felt like
he was just writing an essay so that readers could better understand literacy. So
was Gees essay an auto ethnographic piece or was it just informational? I
guess that is my final question. What would Gees essay be considered as far as
what type of writing?

Outside of class Artifact Commentary #4

For my outside of class artifact I chose a letter I wrote in my government class
senior year. I thought this would be a good artifact because I see a lot of opportunities
where I could have used English 101 concepts. This letter was to President Obama
explaining my thoughts on his policies involving the environment. Looking back at this
letter I quickly notice things I wish I had done differently. Especially since this letter was
sent to our president. One of the reasons I believe this letter is structured poorly is
because it was for my government class. We didnt go over structure, grammar, or really
any concepts we should have. This is understandable because it wasnt for an English
class, but I think it wouldve been best if we would have. My letter lacks most of the
concepts I learned in English 101. For one example, my letter does not have a strong
introduction or conclusion. My whole letter seems to be me telling the president what I
think. I didnt allow a lot of room for explanation though. The structure of my letter is
awful, this is another thing I would go back and change. If I could re-write this letter I
believe it would be incredibly different. I would include what I have learned about
introductions and conclusions, MLA format, explanations on my views and more. One of
the biggest mistakes I made was listing facts that President Obama probably already
knows. I didnt extend on my own thoughts enough. I should have given more
explanation on why I thought he should change his policies. This letter is a good example
of what not to do in the letter I chose to write for my reflective essay.
Outside of class Artifact sample #4

1316 Fifth Street

Snohomish, WA 98290
President Obama
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington DC 20500

Dear President Obama,

I am Tawni Tamarra and I go to Snohomish High School. I believe that the current
climate change needs to be dealt with. I agree with your plan of using more efficient
transportation, homes and buildings. More efficient transportation, homes, and buildings
will hopefully reduce the use of energy. The energy consumption in the United States is
too high and we need to work on decreasing it.
You have made investments in having fuel-efficient cars, trucks, public transit, fuel
technologies, advanced vehicles, and high-speed rails. I agree with having more efficient
ways of transportation to help saving the earth. Hydro powered cars and vehicles last
longer than regular vehicles. That would help us save money rather then spending more
money to purchase new vehicles. The commercial nuclear power plant being put in
Burke, Georgia is suppose to provide clean electricity 1.4 million people. I do not agree
with a nuclear power plant because it cost a lot of money, radioactive exposure can be
dangerous and there is no safe way to store, mine or process nuclear materials. I also have
learned about nuclear power in my government class and I learned that it is very
expensive. I do not think that we need to be spending money on nuclear power or energy
when we have more important problems to fix. The department of defense is working on
more efficient technology for the troops to give our troops more energy options. I agree
with more energy efficient options for our troops knowing that it is the single largest
consuming energy in the United States. More efficient homes, buildings, and factories
will not only save us money but it will also help reduce energy use around the United
States. I believe that if we had more efficient homes, buildings and factories it would help
reduce energy use and improve the United States a lot.
I do not think the cap and trade program would work in the United States. One of
my reasonings is because it is basically a new way to tax without saying it is a tax. The
cap and trade program would also increase the prices of gasoline. Energy prices would
also increase. The thought of reducing pollution is a great thought if it didnt come with
all the cons. America has been using the cap and trade program with Sulfur Dioxide,
which is what causes acid rain. The cap and trade program has more cons than pros. I also
do not think that carbon tax should be considered. Americans should not be punished
with a massive new tax. This would hurt America in being a strong country. Over eighty
percent of the energy we use is carbon based and a carbon tax would make it more

expensive. Reports from Inter governmental Panel and Climate Change, if we were to not
use any carbon energy it would only decrease world temp by 17 degrees Celsius.
In 2001, President Bush, pulled out from the Kyoto Protocol. I think he made the
right decision pulling the United States from the Kyoto Protocol. It would have damaged
our economy in the long run. It also was not fair that other countries were dropping out or
rather doing nothing about it. The Kyoto Protocol would not nearly cut enough gas
emissions to stop global warming. That is another reason I am glad President Bush pulled
out. If we hadnt pulled out from the Kyoto Protocol we would be wasting money trying
to stop global warming. The United States does not have money to waste. I do not think
the United States should join a new treaty because we have a lot of economic problems
that need to be dealt with first. I also do not see other countries participating fairly in a
new treaty.
For the most part I agree with most of your policies, I do not think the cap and
trade program or the carbon tax would work in the United States, and I do not think we
need to join a new treaty. Thank you for taking your time to read my letter.
Sincerely,

Tawni Tamarra
Senior
Snohomish High School