Revismarfontchange 9 Don

March 1
"TRAIN UP A CHILD IN THE WAY..."

Make Disciples
"And behold, there arose a great tempest in the sea, insomuch that the ship was covered with the waves: but He was
asleep. And His disciples came to Him, and awoke Him, saying, Lord, save us: we perish. And He saith unto them, Why
are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then He arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm. But
the men marvelled, saying, What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey Him!" Matthew 8:24-27.
Today our society is in the same boat. Frightened families vie for its safest locations and row for all they're
worth to reach their goals. Yet the ship which we head for a prosperous shore seems to be quickly going nowhere but
down. Tempests of social turmoil beat our sails to defeat our purposes. Waves of popular opinion slop "all wet" over
our prized principles. 'Signals to fear' circle like gulls ready to grab any scrap of faith we have in what we're doing.
These threats turn our focus to troubles from which we'd run if we could, but we can't. Our labels of leader and
partner do not scrape off, even when we're all wet. We fear the drowning of our dreams for the future in the
pressures of the present, but we lack power to still the storm. Then we remember that the Master has not set us adrift
in a sea of indifference to fend for ourselves. We must awaken our dormant relationship with Him and call on Him for
help.
What has Jesus been doing all day while we barely survive the evil onslaughts? Is He sleeping in the storm?
No! He is busy making disciples. Two by two He sends us to man the oars of love and to learn that despite our best
efforts the ship will sink without the Master of the marvelous at work in our behalf. He has a way to quell every
destroying wind and wave on the sea of life: "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one
to another." John 13:35 By this test of identity as Christ' disciples our success is measured, and life is simplified. We
know the beginning, and because we know Christ, "the end of the law for righteousness to every one that believeth"
Romans 10:4, we know the end. Success is living and loving within His will.
Jesus calls us to join Him in making disciples. Disciples are learners. The journey for each one begins by
being born to parents Jesus chooses to be agents of His authority. He grants to them permission: "Go"; and gives the
commission: "make disciples"; and states the mission: "teaching them to observe all that I commanded you;" Matthew
28:19, 20 NASB. We teach as we say, "Observe, watch, how Jesus does what He commands in us. His word is true: See
His "say" match His "do" in our behavior." By our lives we teach them that Jesus in us has the power and authority
(know-how) to guide His children to live wisely. As we discern between good and evil and choose good, our children
gain the wisdom to do likewise. God's love can work in us to convey to them our faith in the wisdom of His authority.
To that end we say, Forward, March!
Lord, disciple me, so I may disciple my partners. Teach me to relate to children as partners in the task of becoming
disciples who love one another. Amen.
How do today's concepts relate to you?
What personal losses or gains motivate you to find ways to improve society?
How can you alone, in partnership, or within the family work to improve our society?
How does making disciples (teaching people to love one another) fit into your family agenda?
Do you want your children discipled? How much authority (know-how) do you have to teach them?
If a parent shares love or money with a child, the child ends up with more love or money.
Do children gain more authority (know-how) to love, as you use your authority to relate to them?
Jesus spoke to confront fear and the storm. He lifted His hand to still storms, not strike disciples.
Do you lift your voice to allay fear and build faith? your hand to solve problems?
When we think we must face tough tasks alone, we treat Jesus as though He were asleep.
We let the world's winds of strife scare us and drown our resolves in a sea of doubt.
Do worldly winds of strife sidetrack your success? Let Jesus empower your "Forward, March!
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March 2
Rainbow of Role Partnerships
"I do set My bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between Me and the earth...I will look upon it,
that I may remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature...upon the earth." Gen. 9:13, 16.
As we begin to brighten society with principles of covenant love, we shall cast the task into a rainbow model.
Just as sunlight strikes rain and refracts into a spectrum of seven basic colors, so also God's love received into our life
refracts to meet every need in the spectrum of seven partnerships. We'll use rainbow colors to identify the seven role
partnerships (January 27). The journey from the rainbow's center to the outside unveils the stages people grow
through in learning to love.
The ultraviolet love of the Son of God first refracts violet. This royal color is our symbol for the parent-child
partnership. Along this wave length flow the deep purple experiences that dye their impressions into the fabric of the
child's character. Before anything else dawns upon his understanding, he learns to welcome the presence of his
parents, who shower him with all that he needs. They give this new prince born to members of God's universal family
royal care. They use their God-given First Love to meet his emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical needs.
But wait, you say, what if parents have no God-given First Love? What if broken relations have resulted in
losses they cannot redeem? What if they are in the dark about what they even need? What then? Are children
snatched away until love lights their way? No. Violet love permeates the darkness at a pace that parents and children
can handle without being blinded by the brighter light to follow. It lights the next step without exposing the whole
journey in one overwhelming revelation. It lights their faces while it hides their faults until God's love can fix them, so
all can relate with dignity, as God restores His image in his parents and children.
Remember the rainbow's first appearance? It arched over a land that was offering its first view of the chaos
caused by the flood. Today's chaos could not look worse than life looked then. Broken everything was everywhere.
But God did not stress the mess. Instead He planted the new sign of His promise where their fears were focused--in
the rain-stained sky. Then as now one direction offered certain hope: up! They began their life on this side of the
rainbow by sacrificing some of the little they had. Gratitude to God for a safe trip through a chaotic year in a divinely
guided ship graced their view of the future. Many parents begin likewise. When the child first appears, the new
parents' familiar lifestyle disappears. By faith they see the rainbow, along with their need to sacrifice, despite their few
resources. They look down at the chaos to survey their needs and look up with gratitude for their new life bursting
with opportunity. They are glad God is up! to guiding them to raise children who'll have wisdom to love and choose
good.
Father, thank you for granting me parenthood. Guide me in making wise decisions, as I guide my child to do likewise.
Amen.
Consider the circumstances of your parents when you were born.

Were they problem free and ready for a new baby on your birthday?
How ready were you at the birth of your own children?
Did hardship lessen your love for your child or your responsibility to meet its needs?
Can you give what you do not have?
If we are not relating to God's love personally, can we convey it to children?
Are you doing without it and hoping it won't matter?
What does soft, delicate violet symbolize to you in your parent-child partnership?
Do you switch from violet to violent when children violate your rules?
What kind of training does a royal child need? Does the training we give reflect the value we see in our children?
How does unwise training stunt a child's opportunities?
Violet is the shortest ray of the visible spectrum. If we fail to guide children to decide wisely, the royal joy in relating
can soon fade into a royal pain.
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March 3
Honoring Parents
"...as for our transgressions, thou shalt purge them away." Psalm 65:3.
The thing I hate happened today. With one mistake I wrecked a prized diskette loaded with precious e-mail
messages. After attempts to recover the loss, shown to be irretrievable by the expert I consulted, I reformatted the
disk to make it clean and usable again. It was to me a most painful loss, and it took me tearfully to the Scriptures for
comfort. I was confronted with the reality that "power belongeth unto God. Also..mercy" Psalm 62:11, 12. Psalm 66
called me to "Come and see the works of God.." God reshaped my values about what matters most, and the pain of
my lost messages passed. My focus moved off the "it" and onto my relationship with God.
Psalm 65:3 "as for our transgressions, thou shalt purge them away." took on a new glow of meaning. Sins
purged away are gone! as gone as though they were zapped from a disk and formatted over with a new, clean space
in their place. My sense of freedom from old sin leaped to a new height of awareness. Lord, I prayed, zap my prized
self-righteousness just as the computer zapped my prized messages, and write Your righteousness and peace and joy
within me. Now "Mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other." Psalm 85:10
God's truth is worth far more than it cost me to rediscover it. Praise God that none can destroy His precious eternal
words, and none need weep the loss of them.
Jesus honored His Father by forgiving the sins of His human family, mine included. His forgiveness removes
my guilt and shame and places me in a position of honor. Having thus given us this honored position, God commands
us to "Honor thy father and thy mother..." How do we give honor to them? Just like God gives it to us. We give it by
passing on God's forgiveness to parents and all authorities in our human family who have sinned against us when
their "know-how" failed them in their time of need to love us. We give it by prizing God's pardon more than we prize
the painful parent-child messages that need to be zapped from our self-concepts. Sins, theirs and ours, are forgivable
and erasable. We need not wade in guilt nor spin robes of self-righteousness to protect ourselves from one another's
disapproval.
We see that honoring parents does not mean we must sanction their behavior with blind belief that "They're
always right. I'm always wrong." It is not sacrilege to recognize their errors and unwrap the warped self-concepts that
parental errors have imposed upon us. By forgiving them we can rid our emotions of the flow of inferiority and
discomfort that dampens the joy of home. Thus we can remove the relational distance between us and them. We
also honor them by treasuring what our parents can become in Christ--loving parents! We children of all ages need to
gain the authority (know-how) to emanate honor, so that we can guide our own children to honor us and God by
making wise decisions.
Father, thank You for calling me to honor my parents. Thank You for Your forgiving grace that bestows upon me the
honor of being one with Your Son. Amen.
How do you translate "Honor your father and your mother" in your behavior?
Does it arouse guilt or latent hostility, or ambivalent feelings of love and hate, or stoic satisfaction that you did the
right thing even though their treatment of you didn't merit it?
Do any heartwarming scenes of sharing God's forgiveness in your family come to mind?
Do you still hold them in debt for the love you expected that they were unable to give you?
Or did you honor them by forgiving, as God forgives you? Did they feel honored or reject it?
If they still apologize for the mistakes they made long ago, if they still justify mistakes to avoid feeling guilt they can't
bear to carry, if they still condemn themselves for their parental failings, perhaps they still wait to be forgiven. They
dare not claim your love until they feel forgiven.
Will your honor allow you to rescue them from the self-condemnation that countless parents carry to their death beds,
by giving them the forgiving pardon God gives you?
They may apparently reject it and deny their need for it. But when you let joy permeate your relations with them,
they'll see you've recovered from their mistakes, and they'll accept the forgiveness you gave.
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March 4
God's Babysitters
"Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord." Colossians 3:20.
Trips away from the children were few. These parents allowed only necessity to separate them. But necessity
created necessity. Someone needed to fill their absence. They searched diligently to find a trustworthy person with
authority (know-how) for the job. They took great pains to record the way they applied love in governing their home,
for they wanted nothing to undo the loving discipline with which they nurtured their children. They would teach this
person to relate in ways that elicit good responses from the children and maintain a safe, loving environment for
them.
After an exhausting search they found a candidate. After they gave her extensive training and thorough
orientation, they introduced her to the children as the babysitter. The very sight of her raised their resistance to her
presence because it meant that the parents, their experts at meeting their needs, were leaving them. Still they listened
to their parents' instructions.
Tonight you need to honor your parents by honoring the authority we have given the babysitter. She is
committed to loving you in our behalf in our absence. She has authority to act in your behalf while we are gone. As
both you and she obey the instruction we have given, your needs will be met even during our absence. As all of you
follow the guidance we've given, you shall feel the joy of knowing we are caring for you. You may call us when you
need us.
Because we trust that she will follow our principles, you must honor her authority and cooperate with her. If
you don't see how what she says relates to what we told her, she is instructed to tell you. She answers to us. She is
responsible for her behavior, not you. Don't feel guilty for her deeds. If she errs, you need not stop loving her. She
needs to have you forgive, not copy, her error. She is not responsible if you misbehave as long as she has done as we
tell her. So do not think you are free to misbehave simply because she does not force you to obey. Treasure the trust
we have in you to obey us by obeying her even when you cannot see us. We'll be praying that God will give you the
power you need to love one another.
Babysitter, we give you the authority to represent us to the children, not to replace us. Look to us, not to the
children, to reward your work. Use authority to exercise love, not to extinguish it. Just as you stand in our place, we
as parents stand in God's place. We'll all share the joy of jobs well done in the kingdom, for "this is well pleasing unto
the Lord." Colossians 3:20
Fathers and mothers, may we honor God as we "babysit" His children.
Father, may we not forget that You own the children. Amen.
Consider your parental role in the light of the babysitter analogy. How do you regard babysitters who do not take
seriously their accountability to the parents of the children they watch?
How might sitters abuse their assigned authority?
a) by making rules that conflict with yours?
b) by neglecting to enforce your rules?
c) by inviting or allowing evil to enter the home?
d) by ridiculing your rules and personally violating them?
How would you deal with a babysitter who did not respect and follow your rules?
Do you expect them to enforce rules that your children ignore or refuse to obey in your presence?
How do we expect God to relate to our violations of His laws of love in dealing with His children?
Matthew 18:5-10 gives us solemn counsel for the task.
Consider what an honor it is to care for any of God's children.
Do we support His goals for His children to gain the seven essentials for abundant living?
They are wisdom, knowledge, understanding, prosperity, health, beauty, and glory to God.
Are we operating God's plan for achieving these goals in our families?
Do we trust God's plan to work?
What are the rewards for a job well done? Are they worth the work?
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March 5
Value Authority
"Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear Him." Psalm 103:13.
This word "pitieth" means love in the sense of having mercy or compassion upon another. Compassion and
mercy spring forth in a loving heart when the dilemmas of others point out their needs for help. Selfless love hears
the call to respond to these needy who have no way to buy what is needed. Money can't answer every need. Unless
God equips people with the essentials to meet needs, money won't help.
After our son graduated from a ten-grade school, he had two years of secondary schooling to complete. We
had money to buy every necessary book, and he knew how to read in any subject area. But education involves more
than buying and reading books. It involves gaining practical wisdom to choose good over evil in various contexts. It
includes building working relationships with peers, with teachers who have authority in their areas, and with God. So
we searched beyond the local high school which was visible from our front yard.
Neither we nor money alone could meet his need. "...so the Lord pitieth them that fear Him." Years before
God had acted in His larger sphere of parental love for teens and moved His modern disciples to establish a school
that nurtured all four areas of growth. Our son, having learned to value the authority of people who know what they
are doing, willingly attended it and learned much during his two years there.
What is the message? God knows the magnitude of the parents' task, and He has built a network of
assistance for them and staffed it with agency authorities who know how to serve in their areas. We need not work
alone, but we must work together in partnership with God. He places us parents as His agents in the family, so that
we may go before the children, explore the aid, and find the authentic authorities. He places children in positions to
"Honor thy father and thy mother" and value their authority to guide them in cooperating with other wise people.
Knowing children count on them, parents see in this command the need to teach children to value not just
their own parental authority, but all authority that works in harmony with God's good will. Parents demonstrate their
authority (know-how) by helping children connect with God's broader network of know-how to gain skills that
develop loving disciples. Parents teach readiness to connect by joining with children to practice basic role
partnerships, such as, teacher-student, lover-friend, and manager-employee. Within this safe home environment they
help children learn how to wisely fulfill such roles. Thus they grow in wisdom and build their own authority to relate
wisely with others in basic roles outside the home.
We value authority by prizing however much or little people know, not by using people's ignorance to
devalue them. Each can use what he knows to help meet others' needs. People's ignorance can show us how we need
to help them. We can nurture their growing authority by matching our words and deeds to what we know they can
handle wisely. We use what they know as connecting links to teach them new things. When we force action in
matters on which they lack wisdom, we devalue their authority by having them act without knowing what they're
doing.
Father, thank you that Your authority provides all we need to succeed. Amen.
How do so-called authorities who lack know-how influence your views of authority? + or ?
Do you let negative views of authority that result from others' ignorance and abuses of authority, spoil your love for
cooperating with true authority? How could that cheat you or your children of the help you need??
How does God provide for your family needs? What human authorities in God's network have helped you?
How are you preparing your children to value their input and to cooperate with them?
Are children likely to value the help offered them by authorities whom parents criticize?
Do you teach your children to honor you as an authority who can benefit them in many ways?
Do you help children honor you by seeking repentance from God when you err, apologizing to them, and guiding
them to forgive you? Or do you push blame and shame on them for your own failures at self-controlled loving?
Do you help your children grow in authority by valuing what they know and helping them to build upon it?
Or do you angrily emphasize what they dont know and use their weaknesses as weapons for devaluing them?
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March 6
Authority to Love
"When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice: but when the wicked beareth rule, the people mourn."
Proverbs 29:2.
"Ight, ight!" our baby exclaimed, as the kitchen light invited his first real word to be pronounced. We were
delighted with this historic moment in his development of authority. We valued it beyond words, even though "ight"
was only one of countless words. We did not label him stupid because he had not said all the others. Who gave him
the authority to speak "ight"? or to speak at all?
As a being of God's creation, he came equipped with the power to learn, to hear, and to speak. We taught as
we talked to him. Often as we rode in the car, we would say, "Red light, red light, turn to green, so we can start our
Ford machine." The red light, green light, any light references in conversation provided the input that gave him the
authority (know-how) to use the word. Authority is given, and it bears the character of the one who gives it. God is
love, so the only authority He gives us is to love. Our unloving behaviors abuse our God-given authority to relate. We
wisely value God's authority, when we let Him guide us to be more loving.
When Jesus was teaching in the temple, the chief priests and elders asked Him, "By what authority doest thou
these things? and who gave thee this authority?" Matthew 21:23. They knew they had not: they did not have the kind
of divine authority that he had over disease, death, and demons. They spoke to lay burdens and put people in
bondage. He spoke to lift burdens and to set people free. They coveted selfish authority. He gave power and
authority to his followers to do as He did. They made demands with a "You do as I say" attitude. His command had
an "I do what I say I must do to meet your needs" tone.
As children grow, they learn what they live. If demand makers direct them to "No, no, do what I say" without
reason, then without reasoning children mimic and say, "No, no, you do what I say." Once this demand-oriented view
of authority infects them, their cooperative relating degenerates into a contest of control that cripples their abilities
to benefit from the good that authorities have to give them. If command givers say in essence, "Trust me to say and
do what will help you to succeed.", the children will soon say, "Trust me to say and do what needs to be said and
done." With confidence they'll say, "I know I'll succeed, as you give me the help I need."
Before children know about authority, they know light and darkness. They sense whether an authority makes
people rejoice or makes people mourn. They delight in the light of love and resist the dark gloom of unloving
behavior. Such children can learn to forgive, not fight, demand makers. All can learn to read the real needs lodged in
demands, and to do what we must to meet the needs we see, even if others may mistakenly suppose that we are
meeting their demands.
Lord, give me authority (know-how) that is "wise unto that which is good, and simple concerning evil." Romans 16:19
Amen. See Romans 16:20 also.
Recall various occasions of relating to children. Which techniques brought the most joy to them? An authority, good
or evil, is someone who knows what he is doing and succeeds at doing it. God-given authority differs from selfserving authority. How can you tell which is which?
Does disagreement with you prove an authority is self-serving?
Could it be that your own opposition to an authority is motivated by self-serving goals?
Do you prefer to be supervised by an authority who's an expert at doing good, or doing evil?
How can you honor parents who have abused their authority to love?
We honor all parents by exercising wisdom in making good decisions and forgiving their errors in relating to us.
What are your first thoughts toward authority? Bumper stickers say "QUESTION AUTHORITY".
We need to ask: How do you rate? How do you operate? How do you lead me to co-operate?
God wants to give all of His children, old and young, the authority (know-how) to love one another. We must know
how to love to meet needs and to forgive in our dealings with everyone, whether they are good or evil authorities.
See Luke 9:1, 2.
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March 7
Goal of Parenting
Commandment V: "Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God
giveth thee." Exodus 20:12.
During this week we have explored the parent-child partnership that is given us by God at birth. We have
seen it from both parent and child angles. Parents need to make disciples by teaching their children to love one
another. They need authority to move children from the isolation of inability into relationships of authority. Children
need to convey their God-given honor to parents. Good and evil authorities exist, and parents must guide children to
make wise decisions in relating to them. We need all this so that "thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord
thy God giveth thee." What land does God give us? He gives us land to inhabit in His kingdom where we can live free
of guilt and free to love.
To claim the land God gives, we must use the way that He has chosen to get us there and to equip us to live
wisely there. The T.R.A.C.T. we introduced in February will guide our way. We'll return to our boxed-in child and use
that framework to begin the process of setting him free to love. The word on the outside of the front door guides our
first move: TEACH. What? Commandment V. Posted on the door, this first of the six commandments for loving our
neighbor holds IN FRONT of us God's principle for building parent-child partnerships.
The boxed-in child cannot see
it on the outside of the door. Born boxed in, he knows nothing of the wisdom that comes from having parents guide
the child to make wise decisions, the wisdom that is in harmony with the Ten Commandment promises of God. Nor
can he ever exit the box through the front door because on his own he can not do what needs to be done to escape
the box. He can only push the door open and reveal his need for help. He will learn to "Honor thy father and thy
mother" only as we teach him to observe, watch, how God's Spirit empowers us to love wisely and bring honor to our
own parents. As he sees the Spirit of God's law at work in us, he will learn to trust God to help him also.
Our Goal now takes shape. We shall TEACH Commandment V with the Goal of conveying to the child faith in
the wisdom of God's authority to First Love him. At first a child cannot value authority, something about which he
knows nothing. But as we parents tend to his emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical needs in the name of Jesus, he
will gain some authority in the process. Then he can value how God empowers us as parents to fulfill our roles in
honoring God's authority. When he learns to join us, we will all thrive in the violet ring of God's full color family circle.
But at this point he knows nothing about how this Commandment V promise can empower to gain faith in the
wisdom of God's authority to First Love us. He has much to learn.
Father, may the beauty of your law of love be seen, as You empower us to practice its principles in our partnerships.
Amen.
How does the question of authority (know-how) fit into your priorities as a child of parents?
Do you still have problems with your parents waiting to be solved?
Are others in the family being injured by the delay?
As a parent of your children, have you built a trust basis for relating with them?
Do you use "Honor your father and your mother" in positive ways that build faith, or do you use it
to force them to conform by making them feel guilty and fear being punished by God?
Do you use it to show how God loves both parent and child and how He can benefit all of you?
Have you listed practical ways you can honor your parents?
Have you discussed with your children the ways in which your God-given authority benefits them?
Do they know that the more you exercise your authority, the more authority they gain?
Have you discussed how the wise use of their own authority benefits them and you?
How is God honored by the ways each of you use your authority to relate?
Do both of you agree to use your parental authority in ways that show the "know-how" you claim?
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March 8
Do As Demanded: Star Our Name
"A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil
treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh." Luke
6:45.
Window shopping is the pastime for people who want to know what's out there in the retail world, but lack
the resources to deal with what's in there. They compare what they see displayed in the windows with the reflections
they see of themselves. They score points in the pastime, as they find occasions to say, "What I have is cuter, better,
classier, than their brand new things. In that instance, at least, my choice is superior to theirs. I like the style of my old
stuff better. I am OK for now."
We do a similar window shopping for principles to guide our relationships. We shrink from sales people who
say, "Come in. I have what you want." We hurry past, thinking our "Thanks, but no thanks. Only window shopping.
We have our own way that matches what many are doing." What are the many doing in their parent-child
partnerships? Let's visit a typical home and view the partnership in place there.
DAD (Do As Demanded) is an acronym for a demand-making parent, male or female, not to be confused with
our usual meaning for Dad. We shall use a male example here. DAD is home today working his (in this instance)
routine. He insists that we meet his son, whom he hopes will look just him. Already he notes that his son excels his
peers in every way. (DAD didn't.) His development is way ahead of his age. (DAD's wasn't.) Just look at him perched
on his zero-shaped pedestal. He has no emotional needs (that DAD can see). He has no spiritual needs. (DAD had
enough religion stuffed down his throat when he was a kid to fill both of them.) He has no mental needs. (He has
plenty of brains. His report card could read all "A's" if he worked at it. Why, at times he even outsmarts his DAD.)
And he has no physical needs. (DAD works hard to buy all the food, clothes, and toys he needs, so he lacks nothing.)
He doesn't need a thing. He's a perfect, all-American boy in DAD's opinion. It's clear that DAD is very proud of his
son.
"Son, you're as perfect as a boy your age can be. I'm mighty proud of you. I've put my faith in you to Star
Our Name, SON. I want you to be able to do the things I didn't get a chance to do. Now, if you will do as I say, and
do it right so I can approve it, then you can expect to win the love you earn."
"All right, DAD. I like the way you think I'm so great. It gives me high self-esteem and the desire to work
hard to do what you say, so I won't disappoint you. Since I'm so perfect, it will be easy to win your approval. What do
I have to do? You say it, and I'll do it. And I'll trust you to give me the love you promised."
How much will DAD love to meet the SON's needs, which he claims are zero in number?
Father, how is Your picture of me like or not like that? How is the way I relate to you like or not like the son's? Amen.
Would you like to bypass the need to learn to value authority? Would you rather control others than practice a
principle that gives as much authority as possible to as many as possible?
Do you feel safe when you're relating to people who don't know what they're doing?
Do you feel threatened by people who seem to know more about what they're doing than you do?
Are the authorities you deal with oriented to doing good or doing evil?
If you were "boss", how would you treat others? Do your goals resemble theirs?
Demanders Are Dependent upon getting love from others by promising them love IF they will "first love" them by
meeting their demands. Should parents lean on their children for parental "first love" or should they truly first love by
meeting children's needs?
Do you see this DAD showing faith in God to supply his needs? Is he freely giving his SON love?
Are you a Do As Demanded person (DAD) who says, "If you do as I say, and do it right, then I'll approve and you may
get the love you earn."?
Do DAD's who make such promises attract you? Do you depend upon DADs for high self-esteem?
Is DAD also using SON to build his own worth? Should SON be in charge of DAD's well-being?
76
March 9
Demanders Provoke Distrust
"Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall." Proverbs 16:18.
Before we continue our dialogue with DAD, let's explore the question: How does he rate? He cares little
about how he himself rates good and evil. He cares much about how he rates (1 to 10) in the eyes of others. He
depends on them to love him by meeting his demands. The more he's worth, the more they'll think they can gain
from him by meeting his demands, and the more they'll work to do what he says.
His own reputation becomes a "life-and-death" matter. Pride is the tool he uses to build others' opinions of
his worth. He marks with pride the things for which he takes credit. His wealth, education, wit, skills, career, stylish
appearance, physique, wife, and his child's behavior count in his mind for good or evil, depending on how they affect
the rating of his own worth. He courts what increases his pride, and he curses whatever or whomever injures it.
The chief stone in his huge foundation of worth is his belief that he is a loving person. Since this belief is
vulnerable to attack and yet needed to add courage to his courting, it resides at the base of the wall, hidden by dirt
and seldom seen. Still he must believe that if he can convince someone to love him, he is able to return the love he
gets. For this he is on his own. His prized distrust, disbelief, and rejection of God as his first lover leave him without
the God-given faith, hope, and love he needs to truly love.
"Son, if you will shovel the driveway, we will go skiing." DAD felt proud to see how his words had such power
over the boy's shovel. Soon the snow was moved, and the boy was back.
"Guess what, DAD, I'm all done. Now let's go skiing today."
"Oh, we can't go today. I thought it would take you all day to shovel. Besides I did not say when we'd go
skiing. And I need to see if you did a good job in such a short time. See there! you forgot to shovel by the mailbox.
And the sidewalk path is way too narrow. So the deal is off. Forget the skiing until you can do what I say the way it
should be done. You can do better. Now show me you can shovel."
"But DAD, I did my b/" he pled, as the door slammed shut. He didn't hear his dad assuring himself that you
can't be too easy on kids, or they grow up thinking they can get by with anything. Nor did DAD hear the Son carve
another notch in his mental stick to record that DAD does not do what he says. The boy's faith that moved him to
meet DAD's demands has vanished. DAD's refusal to reward his best effort has made his best seem worthless.
DISTRUST has displaced his trust.
Lord, am I baiting people to meet my demands and bailing out of my duty to meet their needs to encounter faith
operating in me? Amen.
How do you rate?

Is your 1 to 10 reputation score more important to you than the 1 to 10 commandment promises that God wants to
fulfill in our relationships, so that we may love one another?
Consider the role of pride in your life.
In what things do you take pride; i.e., take credit for?
Do you use these things to increase your sense of worth and raise your hopes that others will meet your demands?
Do you feel more important when you serve a person of high status or a person who really needs your aid? Review
January 21.
Is potential for increased worth valued more by you than is meeting needs (loving)?
Since increased worth implies increased chances to get love, the question restated is:
Do you value "getting love" more than loving?
Do you define loving as meeting needs or meeting demands? Meeting demands in the hope of gaining love puts you
under others' control while you wait to gain their love. Are you then free to meet their need to be loved? What will
supply the love you need to do so?
77
March 10
Pride Provokes Problems
"Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom." Proverbs 13:10.
While pride often smiles upon parents, patriots, and producers of fine products, it runs an agenda that defies
anyone to interfere with its game to gain worth and to get love. We noted that pride works to increase worth, which
in turn increases the amount of love one dare expect. Pride measures one's "emotional credit rating". Just as financial
credit ratings determine how much money a bank should be willing to lend and trust us to repay, so pride decides
how much love people should extend to us and trust us to return to them. As time passes, proud DAD graduates from
expecting this love to believing it's owed to him. If those who "owe" don't pay, he will punish them for cheating him
out of it. It seems "RIGHT" to demand the child to meet his demands or be punished if he won't.
But the SON also expects something for his efforts. He wants his work to add to his worth, so DAD will see
he's worth loving. "DAD speaks of his pride for me, but he uses what I do to add more to his own worth. Why don't
my deeds add to my own worth so I can get more love? I don't get it. Take today for example...
"DAD came home and gave me a SKI magazine, and thanked me for shoveling the snow. He said it was too
bad that I missed out on the ski trip, but he wanted me to know he loved me. How much? A ski trip? No, a magazine.
Well, that's a lot less than I expected from him. Covers maybe 10% of the work I did. That must be all he thinks I did
right. So, then I did 90% of it WRONG. I really messed up. I guess my work isn't worth much, nor am I. If I were
worth more, he would have loved me more. I don't get it. Either DAD's lying about being proud of me or he's
cheating me out of the love I've earned from my work. Anyway I can't live on 10%. I have to work harder to become
worth more so I can earn more love. But it does seem that as I work more, I am loved less. If I keep working, will I
keep becoming worth less and less? If I can't get my DAD to love me, I will feel totally worthless."
Why does DAD paint pride over his SON? DAD sees him only as an extension of himself with potential to
"Star Our Name" and boost his own worth. The pride he paints on his SON is merely his view of himself spelled out in
terms of his boy: "I, a perfect DAD, take credit for my perfect child. He'll prove I'm perfect by being perfect." His
narrow, self-centered mind sees his son as his own selfish tool whose job is to do as he's told. When DAD prides
himself, he assumes he's loving his SON, the extension of himself. He has unwisely chosen to replace, rather than
represent, God as the SON's source of love. He allows the boy no individuality, no chance to use His God-given power
to think and do, or to participate in wise decision making, enlightened by his DAD's wise guidance. No chance to
agree on plans that will build trust. He does not invite his boy to join him in seeking God to empower them to love.
Does he suppose that a love-starved boy is more likely to conform to his demands to earn his DAD's love?
Lord, how can something so evil look so good and so right to us? Deliver us from evil of using pride to promote our
selfish purposes. Amen.
A glance around home reveals pet items we prize that have no real value. We keep them because they remind us of
past good feelings they engendered. Likewise, a glance at our behaviors reveals some that spark good feelings even
though have no value in our relations. Our desire to feel right about what made us feel good in the past, keeps us
insisting on the "right" to indulge that behavior despite its danger to others.
Pride is such a pet. Any attempt to loosen its hold is viewed as an attack on the one caught in its grip. It is as though
Pride were the family dog with its teeth in the child, and none were willing to remove the pet dog that the family so
dearly loves.
As you wrestle with the pride problem, ask yourself:
Shall we remove worthless, potentially damaging, useless behaviors even if they "feel good"?
Shall we raise children to feel worth less and less until they feel worthless and become useless?
Whether one feels pompously proud or woefully worthless, superior or inferior, he is suffering the results of playing
pride's game. Pride denies our need for God's love to empower us to love.
78
March 11
Flattery Disguises Distrust
"A man that flattereth his neighbour spreadeth a net for his feet." Proverbs 29:5 "The Lord shall cut off all flattering
lips, and the tongue that speaketh proud things: Who have said, with our tongue will we prevail; our lips are our own:
who is lord over us? Psalm 12:3, 4.
The companion of pride is flattery. They are as united as the lips and the tongue in their evil work. Both
entice the victim to trust that he can win love from someone who has none and is merely trying to get love from him.
While pride makes DAD appear to be loaded with capacity to love, flattery feeds the SON's fantasy that he can be
good enough to earn DAD's love. Via pride DAD says, "I can give love to you." Via flattery DAD says, "You can get
love from me. As you meet my demands to prove you love me, I'll gladly love you." But flattering lips and proud
tongues lie, not love.
As DAD's flattery paints the SON's perfect portrait, it leads him to think he must be perfect to win his DAD's
approval. He is eager to have this perfect worth that his hard work has failed to earn. He wants DAD's flattery to be
truth, so he grants to his DAD the position of being RIGHT. Then it's simple. If DAD's right, the SON is perfect. But to
keep DAD right, he must do what DAD says so he'll be doing the right thing that keeps him perfect in DAD's eyes. His
trust in this traps him into trying to be perfect, so he'll be right, so he'll be loved.
But DAD's flattery hides a flaw. His wall of pride displays the credit he takes for all he has done, but that
cornerstone that announces he is a loving person does not match his behavior. He can list no loving things he has
done for which he can take credit. To conceal this glaring gap between what he does and who he claims to be, he
must flatter himself by supposing that he could do loving things if anyone should ever deserve to be loved. He cares
not that love resides in relations only when God, who is love, resides in them. With a stroke of flattery, he says, "We
can give love and get love without going to God." "...with our tongue will we prevail; our lips are our own: who is
lord over us? " Psalm 12:4 But as no love flows, distrust grows.
Actually the distrust exposed at the end resides in flattery from the very beginning. Distrust leads us to
suppose that we must flatter others and offer rewards before we can expect them to meet our demands. We distrust
their ability to freely love us by simply noting our needs and offering to meet them. We especially distrust that people
would be willing to love us, if they discovered that we have no unselfish love for them and cannot love them back. To
whom would you say, "You have perfectly done what I asked of you. But I have no love for you, nor do I know how to
love. Actually I am selfish. Will you love me freely, so I can learn to freely love?"
Father, despite Your Calvary love for us, Im selfish. Please freely love me and teach me how to freely love. Amen.
Do you distrust your children to meet needs you have if you don't attach rewards to your requests?
Do they use your requests to bargain with you for favors?
Or do they refuse to act until you attach negative rewards (punishments)?
Are the requests to which you do attach rewards, true needs or selfish demands?
Do you ever demand some needless favor of another just to test that person's love for you? ("If s/he loves me, s/he
will meet my demand.") This testing of love may indicate that distrust or doubt of others' love motivates the demands
you make (or request) of them. Such testing strengthens doubt and distrust. Knowing their responses of "love" were
forced by us, not freely given, we dare not read any love into their favors. Still wanting love, we force even more. The
more we do it, the more they groan, object, and complain, and the less we feel loved. So we demand even more
because we need ever more "proof" to relieve our growing distrust and doubt.
Do you deal with anyone who relates that way toward you?
Do you make use of flattery? What do you expect to accomplish when you flatter?
How do you feel when flattering people put you on pedestals that do not fit who you really are? Do you wonder if
they would like you so much if they knew the truth about you?
After they know the truth, do they still insist on using flattery to manipulate you?
79
March 12
Open Door to Reproof
"..he that regardeth reproof shall be honoured." Proverbs 13:18.
Today we return to the boxed-in child whom we left behind the front door labeled TEACH with Goal on the
outside. We must teach him to "Honor thy father and thy mother.." with the Goal of valuing how God's authority can
benefit us. We honor all authorities who can guide us to make decisions that are in harmony with God's wisdom. We
know that people who relate to replace rather than represent God, lack faith in the wisdom of God's authority.
We do not go unnoticed, as we take our stand by this door. Suddenly the swinging front door reveals the
boxed-in child. "How come I never get to go skiing? I don't believe you love me. Substituting a magazine for a ski trip
proves you don't!" This time the parent does not resist the child's OUT FRONT attempt to escape his box. He does not
use "Honor your father" to slam him back in the box. He grabs this open door of golden opportunity and prays for
love to meet their needs.
The label on the front door's inside, reads REPROVE with Reason. The parent holds the door open and thinks
FIRST, as he organizes the task before him. The child's need to honor his father is clear. He can teach it best by living
it. He decides to re-prove the truth of the benefits that come with relating in an honorable manner. He wants the
child to value, to appreciate, not depreciate, the way he answers him and to see that the parent is an authority at
loving. He realizes that the child's attack mode indicates that the child has lost faith in his parent's authority to meet
his needs. The child's combative words reflect a need to think he must fight in order to receive just treatment.
"Son," he says, "I can see that you think that I did not deal justly with you about the ski trip. And I can see
that you still feel disappointed about it. I'd like to take another look at this whole matter with you. I think I know
what is causing the problem between us. Would now be a good time for us to discuss it? Not wanting to see you
unhappy, the Lord has shown me what you and I are doing that is not working. I want you to love me and you want
me to love you, and we do want to love one another. But we've forgotten that the love we need to have so we can do
so comes from our heavenly Father. He sees both you and me as His children, and He knows that the First Love we
need must come from Him, so we will have love to give each other. When you and I could have prayed together and
asked Him for that love, I let myself be too busy to bother. Instead I made a careless promise to you that I was not
prepared to keep. When I did not do what I said, I allowed our enemy to slam the trap of distrust upon us. Our
heavenly Father can free us from this trap and heal the injuries we have given each other. Shall we seek to learn how
He does it?
Father, remind me that only children enter your kingdom. Amen. See Matthew 18:3.
Please review February 24 and the chart at February's end.

Has distrust intruded between you and another? Let an apple represent your relating. Let a worm in it represent the
problem of distrust. Just as the worm is in the apple, not either person, the distrust is a problem in the relating which
is not solved by blaming either person. The worm is removed by discarding that apple and selecting a new one.
Likewise, distrust is removed by selecting a new way to relate, not by rejecting either person.
Personal responsibility leads each to examine how your own (mis)behavior contributes to it.
Have you avoided confronting it because you feel your authority would be damaged by admitting your error in the
situation?
Does it make sense to think anyone will interpret our glossed-over errors (don't-know-how) as signs of our authority
(know-how)?
Do you want your children to be that easily fooled by others in positions of authority?
Do you want them to learn how to resolve problems without becoming combative?
What behaviors in others trigger distrust in you?
Do you ever view with distrust people who simply do not meet your standards? Why? Is it because you feel that if
you expected something of them, they would fail to give it to you?
80
March 13
Reprove Distrust
"He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: and whoso trusteth in the Lord, happy is he." Proverbs 16:20.
Our first reproof names distrust as the symptom of our loss of faith. Distrust does not equal lost faith, but it
follows lost faith. It signals our need to gain faith in the wisdom of God's authority in our relations, so that faith can
form the basis for our love relations. Distrust signals our lack of faith and warns us to re-prove our need for God's
Commandment V to be at work among us.
The child is surrounded by potential danger. He learns early to know how people and things behave, so he
can learn how they may relate to meeting his needs. He learns to watch out for danger when the safety signs he is
taught are violated. "Be wise," we say to him. "Know that cars, stoves, bikes, strangers, children do various good
things. Know when and how we can relate wisely to them. When they do not behave in these good ways, they are not
doing what they need to be doing. That means they could hurt you in some way if you go near them. Then be wise
and avoid them until you have the authority (both permission and know-how) to give them the help they need. Think
fast when you see danger: come to me for help. If you err, I will guide you to be wiser, not distrustful."
This example illustrates how wise decision making works without sowing distrust in the child's mind. We
extend his freedom to roam, as he grows in wisdom to discern good from evil or danger. We do not leave him to fend
for himself when we know he lacks the authority to do so. The degree of freedom we give matches the wisdom of his
authority.
No distrust need be used in situations of selective trusting. Think about how we use money: we give coins to
food machines, parking meters, people, etc., that are ready to relate to some need we have. But do we feel a need to
stuff worthless slugs in meters, machines, and hands that cannot meet needs we have in mind? We need not direct
distrust at broken machines or ill-equipped people. We can merely trust that it's not wise to place money in broken
machines or give tasks to people who lack the ability to do them. We need not attack our unused options with
distrust. How can one distrust and not become distrustful? How can one be suspicious and convey trust? We need
not scatter DISTRUST in all directions nor be suspicious to avoid evil. We can guide children to learn to extend trust
where authority (know-how) warrants it, and to respond to needs they themselves have the authority (know-how) to
handle.
As God sees all this, how shall we see Him? God invites us to center our trust in Him. Within this sphere of
trust we may trust any to do what God has equipped them to do, and to relate as God equips us to relate. We
MIStrust as we trust people to replace God and do for us what only He can do. Mistrust leads to DISTRUST.
Lord, help us to increase in wisdom, not distrust. Amen.
Review the slide from faith that begins with distrust and ends in remorse (February 18). Mistrust is at work. We
mistrust when we expect a person to sustain our own personal well-being. Life-sustaining love comes from God. Do
you hear people say, "You can't trust anyone these days."?
Do they mean to say, "Trust God" or "Distrust everybody" or "Trust me."?
Does distrust provide a reason to avoid people that need your help?
Is distrust necessary in order to avoid dangers or is distrust itself a danger?
How does distrust hinder the growth of a child? What behaviors accompany a child's distrust?
Wherein does he distrust himself? How can you help him gain wisdom and lose distrust?
Would you place a snake around your neck to keep the dangerous at a distance from your child?
Which seems more deadly: distrust or a snake? Which is?
As we leave the desert of distrust and live where faith in the wisdom of God's authority grows, clear distinction
between good and evil equips us to make wise decisions that honor our parents.
81
March 14
Proud Looks Cause Distrust
"These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto Him: a proud look,..." Proverbs 6:16-17.
The door of reproof that exposes our loss of faith signaled by the distrust we feel, has more to reveal to us.
After we see symptoms, we want to know the reason for them. What is causing distrust to wreck our relations? Below
the label, Reason, on the door we read "a proud look" as the reason for distrust.
"A proud look" is listed first among the things God hates. This list of human disorders exposes the behaviors
that keep us from building covenant love partnerships with God and with others. These abominations prevent God's
love from flowing into and through our lives. God hates whatever keeps His life-sustaining love from working in our
relations. He hates what causes death to overtake His beloved children. He knows that we must know the disorder
before we can learn how to cure it.
As the boy's father lets light stream upon the inside of the open door, the child warms to his attention. While
he knows not the letter of the law, he appreciates being loved in the Spirit of the law. "What is a proud look?" he
asks. "Is it that 'I'm proud of you' look you give me, so I'll know I'm good enough to earn your love?"
No pride inflates the father as he confesses, "Yes, Son, it's that and every other behavior I have used to
convince you to love me by meeting my demands. I also wear the proud look to convince myself that I have lots of
love to give to people who will love me first. It's the look that denies my need for God to First Love me before I can
love others. You can spot the look when people say to you, 'First love me, THEN I will love you...maybe.' The proud
look means that people lack love, that they are trying to get it from others.
"Pretend you told me you were hungry, and I said, 'No, Son, you can't be hungry. I saw you eat last week.'
Then you told me your stomach hurt from hunger, and I said, 'What you feel can't be hunger pangs. You're full of
food!'. What would happen if you believed my lies and did not eat any food? You would soon die. That is how the
deadly pride lie works. It says, 'You are full of love.' And we argue, 'But why do I hurt so much to be loved by
someone?' But the pride lie inside us says, 'You've got lots of love inside you, but others you know are jerks who have
no love and refuse to love you.' Believing that pride lie blinds us to our need to go to God and seek First Love from
Him. Without love our partnerships soon die."
How does the proud look cause distrust? We wear the proud look and try to get love from other proud
lookers. When they fail to do the loving they said they'd do, we soon distrust them.
Father, we are sorry we have believed the pride lie, worn the proud look, and distrusted people who need to be loved.
Amen.
If you had let someone deadly into your home, would you try to hide him or dress him up to look harmless and turn
him over to the children, supposing him to be safer with them and less likely to make you look bad? or would you
remove him?
Are you hiding pride or lodging it with your children, supposing pride is good for them even though you yourself
dislike being called a proud person?
Does it matter that a proud self-concept may increase their self-consciousness and hinder them from relating
comfortably with others?
Are you building personal pride at the risk of damaging your children?
What will you do when they in pride insist that YOU be perfect before they meet YOUR demands?
Will you convince them not to use your faults as their excuses to withhold their love from you?
Does your pride resist stepping aside to view the REPROOF and the Reason behind it?
Do you defend the use of pride? Is it because you depend upon the lie of pride to run your life?
You cannot defeat what you defend. Will you defeat or defend the proud look that God hates?
Does it make sense to suppose that using a behavior that God hates will result in getting love?
82
March 15
Trust, the Offspring of Authority
"Trust ye not in a friend, put ye not confidence in a guide:...for the son dishonoureth the father, the daughter riseth up
against her mother,...a man's enemies are the men of his own house. Therefore I will look unto the Lord..." Micah 7:5-7.
Lord, as we look unto You, do you know what You are doing? We have seen your ideal for us and stretched
our minds to imagine what a miracle it would be if all people were agents of God's authority and knew what they were
doing and knew that what they were doing was good--good for meeting someone's needs!
Our view of the people who languish behind proud looks and pretend they need nothing while they are dying
to be loved, gives us a clear picture of why all of us need to become authorities at loving one another. We agree that
it doesn't make sense to build a society of people who must pretend they need no love in order to manipulate people
into meeting their demands, demands that fail to fulfill their needs for love. We see that it makes no sense for two
people who lack love to depend upon each other to get love. None can give what they do not have.
But look at the social chaos in the above words of Micah. How does "trust ye not in a friend" make sense in
that chaos? Might their distress be less if they at least tried to trust each other? Not trusting in others seems no
better than distrust. How can trust reside among us if we do not place our trust in each other?
We must reread the Holy Spirit's job stated in John 16:8, 9: "And when He is come, He will reprove the world
of sin...of sin, because they believe not on Me;.." Sin is the transgression of the law, which includes the
commandment of "Honor thy father and thy mother". Sin occurs because we do not trust Jesus, not because we do
not put trust in each other. Just as it is futile to try to get love from people who have none to give, it is futile to try to
put trust in people who lack God's power to love as they say they do.
Micah's picture illustrates the futility of doing so. And as we look closely, we see the solution key swinging in
the snapshot. Who but God dares to put His cures in the midst of earth's chaos? Just as He put His begotten Son in
the midst of earth's chaos, He puts His answer for trust in Micah's tale of betrayal and distrust. He positions a person
in the scene to show us how to act when we are surrounded with enemies (people who have no love for us) in our
own houses. "Therefore I will look unto the Lord," the man says. So must we see that trusting God to love us is key to
gaining the love we need. As God's love empowers us to do what we say, we can emanate trust where none exists. An
atmosphere of trust is formed, as God gives us authority to know and to do what needs to be done to love one
another. Trust is the offspring of loving authority.
Lord, we Agree with you. Now ACT to Correct and Train us. Amen.
Do you ever wonder if God knows what He is doing in your relationships?

Does it waste energy to be faithful and trustworthy in the midst of betrayal and ingratitude?
Are you ever ridiculed for doing what's good amidst chaos and sin? When others steal, why not steal? lie, why not lie?
commit adultery, why not do it? dishonor parents, why not do that, too?
Has God positioned you to represent His love to a need world.
Listen to Jesus ask, "Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall He find faith on the earth?"
What did He mean by that? How ving authority to a lawless, loveless society?
Does He need you to say, "Therefore I will look unto the Lord.." and point the way out of chaos?
Where are your enemies, the people who seem to have no love for you?
Will you meet them in the home, in the workplace, the school, the church,...with love and trust emanating from your
life? Who needs trust and love?
Do your own sons or daughters need them?
Will the faith that they find be seen best in you as what you say = what you do?
We cannot put trust in another, but trust can flow from us to them, as God's love empowers us to say and do what
meets their needs. Do you know when you find faith in your personal world?
83
March 16
CORRECTION Occurs OUT BACK
"For whom the Lord loveth He correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth." Proverbs 3:12.
Disciples, learners, have ever been prone to misunderstand how correction operates (January 26), but their
suffering sparks a desire to correct what causes it. Early disciples dreamed of a king who would rid their land of
Roman oppression. They chose Jesus, but He bade them help, even love, the Roman soldiers. They were crushed
when the cross killed their hopes in Him. Like them, we also hope to defeat our enemies, but we know not how to
destroy them.
As father and son agree to act to remove the enemy distrust from their relations, the son wonders what
father has in mind that will grant his wishes for fewer chores and more free time and fun. Agreement seems worth a
try. "Let's do it, Dad" opens the boxed-in child's world to step three. Light streams through the box and sets aglow
the sign, CORRECTION with Obedience, on the inside of the back door. Above it an OUT BACK label sets the tone for an
OUT BACK private encounter between Christ and them.
Suddenly his awareness of where he was struck him full force. Moved by the new loving approach of his
father, he had invited him to join him OUT BACK. He struggled to sort it out. What had he done? Had he been tricked
into asking for a whipping? In days past, OUT BACK was dreaded. The words struck fear of the wooden paddle with
which DAD punished the SON by slapping from his skin the guilt that he had accepted along with DAD's disapproval
and blame. He remembered how DAD would hit him, then hug him back into favor, and then forget about his boxedin condition. He felt a flashback of confusion over the hugs he craved. Why must he need hits to get hugs? He hated
prizing affection with that price tag.
But this time was different. DAD usually came through the back door which he pushed back so fast, the Son
never had time to read the whole sign on it. CORRECT with Beating, he had thought it said, not CORRECT with
Obedience. Usually he had felt like Isaac with Abraham on their uphill journey to Mt. Moriah. He had felt the weight
of the wood laid upon him, he had felt the heat of the fiery wrath his DAD had kindled, but he had never seen the
Lamb. This time his father waited kindly at the front door with only the gold of his opportunity to help, gleaming in
his hand. As he held the door open, the box filled with love's light, not fright. Now as they turned to view step three
written on the back door's inside, he saw in this new light a sketch carved on that door. Was it a huge T for truth? Or
was it a carving of Calvary? Or was it both? At last his wondering tumbled out into words. "Father, where is the
wood? Where is the fire? What's carved on the door? Is it about whom you speak? Could He be the Lamb I seek?"
Lord, may I not block anyone's view of the light of Your love reflecting from Calvary. Amen.
Have you considered solving problems by removing the people with whom you share the problems?
What is the real evil causing the problem?
Is distrust darting between you?
Can that attitude be removed by removing the person you distrust?
Do our solutions seem shortsighted in the light of Calvary?
Does ancient Calvary seem irrelevant to the problems of distrust you face?
Are you skeptical (doubtful, distrustful) of the ability of this direction we're taking to lead to solutions you need?
Then stay on board. We'll see how to correct distrust in the coming days.
Do you recall the ways you were "corrected" as a child?
Did the methods used really correct the dilemma or merely repress the problem?
Does correction equal punishment?
Does the word punishment fit the process of restoring to wholeness someone who is broken and boxed in by his
inability to "honor his father" and trust in the wisdom of God's authority?
Do the corrections you've seen or done create lasting changes in behavior? ...that are positive?
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March 17
Father and Son at the Cross
"Sir, we would see Jesus." John 12:21.
On rare occasions experience transcends our four walls, and lifts us from the visible temporary to the invisible
eternal. It happens when we would see Jesus. Today we join our parent and child at the foot of Calvary's cross to
gaze at the Son of man and God suspended between earth and heaven to form for us a Link to eternal life. The awe
we sense wraps us in silence. We are still, as we know that He is God.
We see the wood to which He is fastened to suffer the penalty for every sin that everyone has committed
against God's creation. We smell the smoke of distrust, disbelief, and rejection rising to smother the voice of the
Word of life. We see the flames of flattery rising, as it were from hell itself, as the evil assentors deny His kingship and
cast Him into the proud role of one like unto themselves. We shield our faces from the burning fire of hatred that
shoots its sparks of ridicule, jeers, and mockery into the very face of God. We swat away the spit that flies around us.
We weep without shame, as the sight of this suffering Son, enduring the cross and despising the shame, burns its way
into our being.
By faith we place our hands on the Lamb, as infinite riches of grace mix with His flowing blood. His 'gold of
promises fulfilled' beams faith into death's darkness. His frankincense, sweet fragrance of forgiveness, lifts our hope
to heavenly places. His myrrh of self-sacrificing love moves us to emulate Him. An awkward sense of urgency to
sweep horrible humanity up into our arms and Rock them to maturity, tugs at our priorities. Who will prepare them
for the tomorrow when He comes to reign as King of kings and Lord of lords? How will His travail be satisfied?
A hush falls over the horror, as even the demons seem to listen to catch His first words in this strangely grand
finale. "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." Luke 23:34 Like the balm of Gilead His forgiving
words gush forth from His crushed heart. Like rivers of aromatic oil, they swirl their soothing relief into every corner
of our consciousness. Heat sensitive, they seem to target the soul where sin has torched its inroads upon our faith,
and release the fires of holiness they fuel. We see with Paul that indeed "our God is a consuming fire" (Hebrews 12:29)
who fights the flames of sin by baptizing us in the fire of His forgiving love. Even gates of hell cannot resist this fire of
love that in Christ is stronger than death.
As father and son stand amazed at the infinite love of their Father and His Son, they see what it means to do
what you know, to love as you say you do, and to forgive those who know not what they do. They see how authorities
show they know what they are doing, when they can forgive all who "know not what they do."
Lord, teach us to forgive all who don't know what they're doing, ourselves included. Give us the power we need to do
what we know is good. Amen.
Have you recently held your intellectual breath and took a long heart look at what Calvary means to you?
Have you done it with your child who struggles with the sins of his youth?
Have you shown him where forgiveness flows freely for him from the priceless Lamb of God?
Does he know he need not absorb guilt over your inability to love him 100% nor have you spank guilt off him?
Does he know that you err when you put guilt on him that Jesus has paid to remove from him?
Does he know that he is free to forgive you and that you are eager to join him in seeking God's forgiving love to
restore your injured partnership?
Does he know how to quench the flames of flattery that reside in our fire-eating throats and spark their way off our
proud tongues?
Does he read danger in the smoke of distrust, disbelief, and rejection of God as our First Lover?
As God's lamb, does he know hes kin to the Lamb of God through whom all his needs can be supplied forever?
How can you open to him the heavenly realities that transcend the four walls of his boxed-in existence?
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March 18
Choose and Lose
"And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto Me." John 12:32.
Hard it is to descend from the heights where we have gained our vision of glory and expose our new reality
to our real world. Like Peter, James, and John on the Mount of Transfiguration, we'd rather build monuments to exalt
our good experience than descend the mountain and do something monumental with what we learned, to enlighten
the dwellers in dark valleys. But sometimes our haste to hurry away makes waste of what we envision and wrecks
what we might reap from it. How often have you been invited by someone's sermon or song to confront Mount
Calvary? Perhaps you have even climbed the mountain via an altar call that lifted Christ on the cross before you. But
when you leave, you take nothing but an awareness of something that seems alien to the world you inhabit. If only
you could've built a monument to Calvary at the altar so you could be recognized as a Christian by other Christians,
who need no explanation of it, you could keep it in its place and visit it whenever you wish.
But no! you're told to carry this cross. "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his
cross, and follow Me." Matthew 16:24. But somehow it doesn't work. The burden of your own back-breaking, heartaching cross is heavy with distrust, depression, guilt, anxiety, grief, discontent, and remorse brought on the distrust,
disbelief, and rejection of God's grace. It leaves no energy for carrying a cross of faith, hope, love, courage, sympathy,
contentment, and cheerfulness, no matter what claims for abundant life accompany it. The weight of your own load
of life is enough to kill you. Besides, it's impossible! You just can't carry distrust and faith together, let alone all the
rest. God knows you've been saved at the cross and you're free from your sins. He knows you love Him with all your
heart. And He knows you're not perfect, so He'll understand that you can't deny your own cross and shirk your duty,
just to lift up His. So thanks, but no thanks. You need to go about your business and just forget it.
"Do you have to hurry away now, Dad, like you used to when you hugged me and went off to forget about
me?" the son asked. "Do you have any time to explore what all this can mean to me and you? It makes me feel so
great, I want to carry it with me always, but I don't have a good handle on how it works yet. I saw it, but I need some
words to make it work when I'm boxed in my dark world by distrust."
"Son, no one is big enough to carry distrust and faith away from here at the same time. You and I must
choose one and lose the other. We can best grasp the truth of how Jesus died to set us free by responding to the
Words of truth He spoke to set us free. I have all the time we need to listen and learn with you. Ready?"
Lord, show us how to move from a high and low life to a selfless, freely loving life that is centered in Christ. Amen.
Do you know someone who flies from lows to highs to lows as s/he finds cross experiences with Christ and loses them
when s/he is crossed?
Is that someone loaded down with a selfish cross of distrust, etc., or lifting up the selfless cross of faith, etc.?
Our carnal first nature wants to do life the hard way, but God's goal for us is to have our second spiritual nature
become second nature to us.
Are you content with a religion that lets you claim salvation but lacks power to free you from sin?
What is the value of "having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof"? "from such turn away," Paul writes
in 2 Timothy 3:5.
If you were caught in a deadly dilemma from which a wise friend could free you but did not, would you view your
friend as understanding of your needs?
The vision of a God who shows His understanding of us by ignoring or, worse, sanctioning what is killing us, while He
soothes us into acceptance of it, is a deadly dream of His enemy.
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87
March 19
Poor in Spirit?
"Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 5:3.
Ready! Just how can Jesus' words help us to choose faith and lose distrust? Where shall we find them? What
do they mean? In our mind's eye we shall join Jesus at the Sermon on the Mount. For us today this nameless Mount
is the insurmountable Mount of Distrust that rises like a barrier between us. But Calvary has sparked our hope. Now
we need the how that resides in His sermon on this topic. How shall we gain firm hold on the mustard seed of faith
we need to move this mountain from our parent-child partnership?
Lord, we say, we come to you for faith to cure our distrust. Like a jagged mountain of misery it has formed a
barrier between us, and only faith in Your word can remove this mountain. How can we trust that God will meet the
needs in our parent-child relations no matter what problems challenge us? We want to count on Him to do it, but we
have this "proud look" that moves us to distrust God and each other. It deceives us into thinking we are filled with
love, and yet we try to force love from each other instead of showing a loving spirit. In doing so we can only show
that we lack love and are trying to get it. Can you help us?
"Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." The first beatitude of Jesus meets us
where we stand with our proud look. The proud look that denies our true need for love is cured by becoming poor in
spirit.
Poor in spirit? Must we eliminate our proud look and our loving facade? If we admit that we have no love
for each other, how can each expect the other to be willing to love? With all the pride we can muster from all the
status we have and all the work we do, we cannot manage to gain enough love. What would happen if we did not at
least promise love with our proud looks? We'd get nothing for ourselves. How could we even hope to impress God
to do loving favors for us if we can't show we're worth His bother? Look, we say, we only want faith that God will give
people love for us. Can't we get the love and keep the proud look that hides our need for it?
To gain the love we need, we must first see our need for it. Since we view things we don't need as junk to be
rejected, God, whose love is not junk, cannot meet our need for love until we confess our need for it. "But my God
shall supply all YOUR need according to HIS riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19. His gifts are meted out
according to what WE need and HE has. Self-importance and proud looks diminish our sense of need. But the more
we see our need, the more God is committed to giving us. If we are totally bankrupt and 100% needy, He'll fill us 100%
full of love.
Lord, "poor in spirit" sounds great, but I can't be that without You. Please show me how to become "poor in spirit."
Amen.
Do you need a loving spirit?

Have you admitted that to your parents or to your children?
Do you suspect that they may know it anyway?
Do your friends view you in a different light than your family members do? Explain.
Do you feel that your friends love you more than your family members do? Do you try not to wreck the flattering
view that your friends have of you by being careful not to impose upon them for many favors?
Does fear of spoiling your "my-friends-love-me" fantasy make it hard even to ask for needed help?
Have you tested your fantasy and found how much love they really do or don't have for you?
Does your negative view of your family members stem from your attempts to impose upon them too much?
Are your friends or your family members most likely to help when you truly do need help?
Do you resist helping people who simply assume you love them and ask you to meet a need?
Do you feel like such people are taking your love for granted? Is your love granted freely?
Must people display proud looks and give flattery to you before you will "love" them?
What is a better word than love for such manipulative games we require of one another?
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March 20
Show Us How Much You Love Us
"..your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask Him. After this manner...pray ye: Our Father which
art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name." Matthew 6:8, 9.
The "how" to become poor in spirit awaits an answer. We feel reluctant to cast pride aside or to expose it as
a barrier to loving, yet our behavior hides nothing. As soon as we say, "First love me, THEN I will love you," we have
indulged the proud look. But none of this surprises God. Our verse above reminds us that God knows what we need
and why we need it. Echoes of His "Where are you?" in Eden sound not to inform Him, but to benefit us. His thoughts
transcend ours. Correction not rejection motivates His words to us. He does not call for a detailed accounting of our
errors. He knows them, and by His Spirit He will point them out, as He knows we are ready to let Him remove them.
Just as a parent does not take a fallen child and rub his nose on the dirty spots before he applies a remedy to
his injuries, so God does not demand an accounting of each sin lodged within us before He lifts us into His restoring
presence. Knowing what we need, He tells us what to pray: Our Father which art in heaven...
With no impossible prerequisites, we come into immediate unity with our heavenly Father. Though child and
parent, we both stand as children equal before God. As parent I sit where the child sits. Both of us depend upon His
love to love. Damaged by distrust, we are bruised spiritual brothers begging to be set at liberty to trust. God invites
us to come boldly to His barrier-free throne to find His grace to help in time of needhis need and my need. See
Hebrews 4:16. We need Him and what He has for us, so we come.
"Hallowed be Thy name." Hallowed by whom? Let it first be hallowed by our Father. To hallow is to make
holy; to consecrate. Something holy is something set apart as special. "Father," we pray, "make Your name special to
us. Special people are people that seem to love us. But when we seek the love they seem to have for us, we end up
with distrust. Lord, make Your name special to us. You show us how much You love us. Be our heavenly Parent, our
First Lover, who meets our every emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical need. Adopt us into Your heavenly family.
Include us in Your heavenly kingdom."
We do not pray in vain. Historically He shows us how much He loves us at Calvary. Heretofore in our
personal past He shows us how He has ordered events to bless us. Here and now He daily shows us His love by
causing us to grow in grace. He wraps His love in the beauty of nature, the contact of friends, the harmony of home,
and most of all, in opportunities to love people who need it. Hereafter, not only over yonder, but anytime we wander
into puzzling situations, He calls us to seek to see how He is loving us despite appearances. Faith occurs as His love
works to do what He says. He does receive us as His adopted children into membership in His heavenly kingdom.
Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be Thy name. Amen
Scan the list of people you know.

Would you like to withhold from some their family status as siblings of yours in God's kingdom?
Prayer to Our Father can begin to change your view of them.
Observe the ways God shows you how much He loves you. List some evidences of God's love that you've seen in these
four H categories:
a) Historically,
b) Heretofore,
c) Here and now,
d) Hereafter.
As we watch God reveal His love to us, we'll be lifted above life's petty problems into His peace-loving presence.
Gradually FAITH in God will displace distrust in us toward one another.
89
March 21
Hallowing God's Name Frees from Pride
"Hallowed be Thy name." Matthew 6:9.
The little hockey teams came to town to play in a big series. The Oranges were pitted against the Greens in
the first contest. We went to cheer for the Orange team whose coach and goalie are relatives. The fast-paced game
found the Oranges well prepared for the challenge. They kept the game mostly on the Green's side of the rink. The
Orange goalie stood alone at his post cheering his team's success.
It was easy to exalt the team's name until the course of the game turned against the Orange skaters.
Suddenly the puck was sailing across the ice toward our favorite goalie. Time after time he fell to the ice only to hear
the crowd roar the news of another point. A goalie's success in exalting the team name is not fully tested until his
opponents invade his home territory. Then all his padding cannot ease the blow to his pride when he falls on his face
and fails to stop the enemy from scoring.
Likewise we are chosen to hallow the name of God, the Head of our team. As His power propels our team to
victory, we hallow His name and rejoice over our success. But when attackers invade our home territory, we little
goalies often fall on our faces far short of our goals and lose points to the enemy. At such times we forget that Jesus
has already won our battle and calls us to share in the victory. When we fall, His victory still stands in our behalf.
In the pain of our injured pride we find good reasons to hallow His name. It's then we learn that victory does
not swing on our muscles or mistakes, that Christ--not self--is the pivotal center of the kingdom of heaven. We gain a
new view of pride: it stands out as the only thing dampening our enthusiasm for hallowing His name. It writes
tragedy over a phase of training instead of trusting our winning Coach to write triumph by correcting our mistakes
and rejoicing with us when we return to our post of duty. We see that if we can survive injured pride, chances are
good that we can survive having pride crucified, and thus be enabled to live happier ever after without it. Paul did: "I
am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I
live by the FAITH of the Son of God, who LOVED me, and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20.
Suddenly we see the light. The puzzling falls we take fall into place in the big picture. We magnify and
hallow the Head of our winning team who gives us the victory even when we fall on our faces and let the enemy score.
"Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise;...and I shall behold His righteousness." Micah 7:8, 9.
No longer need we labor hard to try to hallow our own name, exalt our own worth, prove our superiority, insist that
we're right, or do favors to earn love. Frustration's heavy burden over having to be "right" to gain love drops from
our supposedly responsible shoulders when we see that God takes ultimate responsibility for what we do in Christ. He
values our cooperation, but He provides the power that gets the results.
Lord, may Your name be hallowed in my behavior. Amen.
Have you noticed how easy it is to hallow God's name when all goes well for our team?
Do we say to God, "When I do well, Your name is hallowed, made holy. Your holiness is determined by what I do.
When I don't do well, I lose my reason to hallow Your name."
If so, are we really hallowing our Creator or self?
What do we actually do to hallow God's name?
Do we just assume we're doing it automatically without any specific action on our part?
Isaiah 29:13 reports "the Lord said, Forasmuch as this people draw near Me with their mouth, and with their lips do
honour Me, but have removed their heart far from Me, and their fear toward Me is taught by the precept of men....the
wisdom of their wise men shall perish..."
We see a view in which actions of the face (mouth and lips) mask the actual distrust of the heart, where belief should
reside. See Romans 10:10. That distrust toward God leads people to lean on man's precepts rather than God's
promises to meet needs. Is such two-faced masked behavior hallowing God or Halloween (the act of relying on tricks
and empty-calorie worldly treats to survive)?
90
March 22
Why Praise God?
"Sing forth the honour of His name: make His praise glorious. Say unto God,...through the greatness of Thy power shall
thine enemies submit themselves unto Thee." Psalm 66:2, 3.
Our big picture of life gains its size from the size of our picture of God. Perhaps you've met people who can
make no sense of scriptural calls to praise God. Why should they donate to an ego trip for the Creator of the
universe? Why should He need it? It goes against the grain of proud people to admit that anyone, even a Creator, is
greater than they. Doing so, in their opinion, is to admit that they are lesser, thus deficient in some way that could
disqualify them from winning the world's love. Self rules and settles conflicts with God's word by choosing self's rule.
Simple math shows the wisdom of God's ways. When we place values on Him in relation to ourselves, giving
Him the numerator position and making ourselves the denominator, the greater we value Him, the more value our
relationship has. If I give both Him and me a 1, I am one in Christ, whole (1/1). If I see Him as 10 times greater than
myself (10/1), our relationship gets 10 times better. If I see Him as 100 times greater, our relationship multiplies in
value 100 times. However, if because I know God, I decide that I'm 10 times more important than He or His word is,
then our relations become fractured and broken (1/10). The higher I label self, the less value my relationship with God
has: 1/5; 5/50; 10/5000. It matters not how big I see God, if I see myself as more important to me than He is. God
gives me position number 1 with Him. 100/1. What more could I ask? As I stay one with Him, wholeness happens. In
relation with Him, I am never a nobody (10/0). Division by 0 is an impossibility. Being a nobody with God is an
impossibility because God does not play the somebody/nobody pride game with us.
Why praise God? Consider this. If I pass a plate of three cookies to my ten guests in the room, most will look
at the cookies and the crowd and say, "No thanks, I'll pass." They dare not risk stirring the anger of those who might
not get a cookie. But if you enter my kitchen by surprise and find me baking dozens of cookies, the choice changes.
As you view my counter-tops, table, and stove stacked with cookies, you see that I have plenty and that I love baking
more cookies than I need for myself. When I say, Will you let me send a bag of cookies along with you for your
family?, you can easily accept what is obviously being freely given from my abundant supply. You leave glad that
you've helped me meet my need to distribute my cookies. When we praise God, He opens our eyes to His storehouse
filled with blessing awaiting us. As we praise Him, our views of His majesty, His muscle, His abundance, His ability and
eagerness to love us grow greater. Our ability to trust grows, and our courage to make huge requests of God
increases. With childlike joy we gladly call on our Father to equip us for abundant living.
"Let the people praise Thee, O God; let all the people praise Thee." Psalm 67:3. Amen.
God risks no danger of an ego trip from the praise we give Him. Our limited knowledge of His greatness is such that
our praise barely escapes the category of insult. We are like children praising a mathematics genius for counting to
ten or a musician for playing a C major scale. Even so He loves to see our eyes open to what He is ready and able to
do for us. His success in correcting and restoring us relates to our courage to receive His gifts to us.
What fraction describes the way you view your relation to God? Are you satisfied with that?
Can you think of an occasion similar to the cookie example?
Do you unfairly judge the hostess who has found that three cookies will serve ten guests?
When she serves only 3 cookies, does it test your faith in the wisdom of her authority as hostess?
Does our "No, thanks" suggest that we know more than the hostess about meeting needs?
Do we ever cheat ourselves out of God's benefits because someone else is refusing to accept them?
Do we suppose that we shall exhaust God's supplies?
Might God sometimes appear to be passing 3 cookies to see if your fear of man's anger exceeds your faith that God
knows what He's doing? Might it also test your desire to benefit from His wise authority?
91
March 23
Four Steps to Fulfilling God's Fifth Commandment
"A son honoureth his father, and a servant his master: if then I be a father, where is mine honour? ... saith the Lord.."
Malachi 1:6.
Today we need to review our train of thought. As parent and child we took our distrust to Jesus' sermon on
the mount. Neither of us were truly honoring our father and mother by our behavior because we cannot. Before we
can love people (second great commandment--love your neighbor) we must first love God with all our heart, soul,
mind, strength so He can equip us to do so.
To fully correct our distrust and its "proud look" cause, so we can honor our parents, God needs to correct
our heart, soul, mind, and strength in the process. Heart faith is first. To love with all the heart, we need to trust the
beatitude 1 promise that BEING poor in spirit, not proud in spirit, brings the blessings of family membership in the
kingdom of heaven. Soul hope is second. God is our sole soul's hope for becoming poor in spirit. To love with all the
soul, we pray with all our soul (our whole being--mind and body) that our heavenly Father's name may be hallowed,
not our own. As He dwells within us by His Spirit, He has a hallowing influence.
Mind love is third. After faith that God can make us become poor in spirit and hope that He and we will
hallow His name, not ours, we must mentally on-purpose choose to let God love us. To love with all our mind means
to choose to submit mind and body--our soul--to God and to let God's indwelling Spirit write His law (V) in mind and
heart, and work His will in us.
We know that asking in prayer for help is one thing. Choosing to let God answer our prayer according to His
will is quite another thing. We know little about what must occur to change us from being proud in spirit to poor in
spirit. Spirit affects behavior. It deals with the very essence of how we live: Does a selfish spirit underlie a worthbased self-concept aimed at getting love and using a proud look to do so? Or does a selfless spirit underlie a needmeeting, love-based self-concept aimed at giving love to meet people's needs? The poor in spirit person readily sees
in his own needs the common bond he has with all of humanity who share the same basic needs he has. A proud
person who prays to become poor in spirit is asking God to make a major change in his very being. If we want God to
fulfill His beatitude BEING promise, we must choose to let God's Spirit write His DOING promise, Commandment V, in
our hearts and minds, so He can DO the job that enables us to BE poor in spirit. As we agree to keep [hold onto,
treasure] God's Commandment V promise, step four is next.
The strength of grace is fourth. By God's grace His Spirit writes Commandment V in mind and heart and
works to fulfill its promise in us. He supplies the power we need to honor our parents by valuing God's authority
among us and becoming wise.
Father, I choose to honor Your desire to write Commandment V in my mind and heart and fulfill Your promises in me.
Amen.
We often use prayer to request what we want while we maintain our own way as the right way to get where we're
going. Are we selfishly going to get love or selflessly going to give love?
Has anyone disappointed your best efforts to win love?
Did it lead you to trust God or to accuse God of letting you down?
When your parents or children disappoint you, do you trust God to guide you in dealing with it or do you doubt God's
love for you because He allowed it to happen?
What disappointing episode ended in distrust? Had you used "proud look" behaviors to seek love? The "proud look"
sin behind distrust can only be unveiled when others let you down and the distrust attitude sweeps over you. The
distrust symptom opens your eyes to the proud look sin at work wrecking your relationships. Then you see the need
to trust God to sustain you and to supply the love needed in your relationships.
We're not likely to realize that we're damaging others with our proud looks until we let them down. Blessed, happy,
are the poor in spirit, who, despite the pains, discover their "proud look" sin and let God correct it: theirs is the
kingdom of heaven at work in their lives now.
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March 24
TRAINING Time
"I am the door: by Me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture." John 10:9.
In our association with Jesus at Calvary and at the Sermon on the Mount we saw beyond our boxed-in ways
of relating and learned how Jesus acts as the door that allows us to move from sinning to loving. Our private OUT BACK
approach to God to gain His gifts of faith, hope, love, and grace equips us to leave behind our boxed-in distrust
behaviors and move BACK IN to the kingdom way of loving one another. Whereas the parent entered the front door
alone, he now has the joy of joining his son in exiting with Jesus, the Door to loving. The CORRECT with Obedience
stage has explained how the "proud look" sin that prevents them from obeying the fifth commandment can be cured
so they can be brought BACK IN to loving relationship with God. See the charts on February 29i and March 6i.
Just as the back door representing Jesus has two sides, so also Jesus has two sides to His ministry for us. The
inside of the door deals with His CORRECTION of us on the inside. The outside side of the door deals with His
TRAINING IN RIGHTEOUSNESS, so that what we do outwardly can reflect what Jesus does inwardly. Our inner wellbeing thrives as each of us individually unites in obedience with God. Our partnerships thrive, as we put into practice
the new principles we have chosen to value. Jesus wants His loving beings to be doing loving deeds with and for one
another.
At stage four of our T.R.A.C.T. system for developing loving characters, we need the fourth word in G.R.O.W.
to help: W = Work. The very reason that we are saved from sinning is so that we may do good work. "For by grace
are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast.
For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should
walk in them." Ephesians 2:8-10. Just think what joy our Creator must have in seeing the beings He created work the
way He ordained them to operate. What they do shows who they are--members of the kingdom of heaven, children
of God who reflect the loving character of their heavenly Father by loving one another, as He loves us. Thus His name
is indeed hallowed in their behavior.
Love maximizes our freedom in Christ because it brings the greatest joy. God's love never fails to make the
loving we do match the loving we say. Does that mean we shall make no mistakes? No. Obeying means we're willing
to cooperate with the TRAINING in righteousness that God's Work of grace does in our relations. Our Trainer will see
our mistakes as signals of our need for further training. We may find ourselves going in and out between boxed-in
and beautiful behaviors, but our Lord will lead us again and again, as we need to be led out of sin and BACK IN to
loving, working relationships.
Lord, thank You for correcting us and equipping us to love. Train us to be useful and loving to one another. Amen.
Review February 23 - end to clarify the use of the T.R.A.C.T/G.R.O.W. framework for character development. As you
learn it, you'll find it to be very useful in building loving relationships. Realize that the box device is merely to help
visualize the process. Parent and child may be in the same boxed-in spot. We'd like to think that only one is boxed in.
But if we know not how to communicate love, we are both boxed away from one another, and good things don't
happen between us. Some parents may use religion to say, God and I are on the "right" side of the barrier and the
child is on the "wrong" side.
Have your parents ever confronted you with that view? Have you used that view against a child? When parents
position God as behind them and opposed to the child, the child's avenue to God is blocked by them.
Jesus must be in the middle between parent and child, so both can bring their need to Him and access God's love
through Him.
Learn to let Jesus unite you and your child rather than separate you.
How can His words help you build avenues of communication to meet your child's needs?
93
94
March 25
The Center of Covenant Partnerships
"Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right...fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up
in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Ephesians 6:1, 4.
A new day dawns for parent and child when the darkness of distrust is put to flight. Now the covenant model
diagrammed on the outside of the back door guides their relating. Three letters, N-A-N, (Need-Answer-Need) in
cove-N-A-N-t spell the difference between the covenant and the cove__t style of relating. The parent (Need) and child
(Need), two Needy beings, stand with Jesus (A = Answer) lifted up between them. His words build faith that unites
them in God's family circle of love.
Now the violet parent-child ring, first of seven basic role partnerships, is in place. This covenant bond centers
around the cross. Parent and child view each other in the context of the value Calvary has given them. They stand
equal in value before God. They unite as extensions of the arms of Jesus to be His hands that cooperate to portray
God's love to all. Their message is, "God's love for us is like love that a loving parent shares with a child."
Before Jesus entered their circle, they had no power to love one another, and they had no Commandment V
promise to provide a solid relating base. Like a wheel that easily turns, they turned against one another to force
compliance to their demands. Proud looks and put-downs moved each to react to the other in ways that mired their
family circle in the ruts of wrath. Now they stabilize their circle by weighting its base with the value they place on
Commandment V, which is needed to build love relations.
Now Christ at the core connects them with God's grace that empowers each to love the other. The parent
teaches the child to join him in looking to God as their First Lover. Both honor their own parents by valuing the
wisdom of God's authority. The parent, as the leader, seeks God's wisdom to guide the child. The child, the parent's
partner in this, needs God to empower his decisions to cooperate in ways that benefit both. Then both will be Victors.
Without their First Love connection with God, both will become Victims: the Leader will become a Leaner
upon the child, instead of God, for his love and sense of well-being. Such parents allow their child's misbehavior to
trigger their own angry outbursts. They think their force and violence will frighten and control the child. Instead their
loss of temper places them under the child's control; his behavior determines theirs. This adds to the child, who is
unable to control himself, the burden of controlling his leaning parents, which he lacks wisdom to do. Thus, both
parents and child become victims, when parents stop loving and start leaning on the child to get love from him.
Children must be taught to love, not forced to parent their parents.
Parents need to guide until children decide wisely to choose good. Children need to value parents' Christcentered guidance to grow in wisdom. Neither can fully succeed until both do their own jobs. The parent does not
succeed in loving by guiding, until the child loves by deciding wisely. The child does not succeed in making wise
decisions, until enough wise parental guidance is given. As each loves to meet his partner's needs, each meets his own
needs by doing so.
Lord, may I not lift up myself by putting down others who need a lift on the road of life. Amen.
Place yourself in the partnership circle with a parent or a child.

Do you see your partner as equal with, not superior or inferior to, you before God?
Do you value him/her according to the redemption price Jesus paid on Calvary?
Jesus promotes what is good. Does that move you to value doing what He needs you to do?
If our values are need-based, we shall want to base what we do on what needs to be done.
What if our values are worth-based?
Will we then tend to devalue people, positions, and tasks that do not enhance our self-worth or bring personal gain?
What incidents move you to put down people with whom you relate?
Do you see how your lack of patience with others puts them in control over your behavior?
When impatient with a child's misbehavior, do you benefit him by losing control of yourself?
95
March 26
Power Source for Partnerships
"Trust in Him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before Him: God is a refuge for us. Selah." Psalm 62:8.
Manoah and his wife were chosen to parent the child destined to free God's people from the Philistines. God
provided specific directions for his care. All went well as "the child grew, and the Lord blessed him." Judges 13:24.
Samson's name, which has sunlight and brilliant in its derivation, must have challenged him to excel in wisdom and
behavior. (Can you imagine describing yourself to people as brilliant and then trying to live up to your reputation?)
But the day came when they reached an impasse. The parents, who had raised him religiously, objected to his choice
of a girl that was beyond their boundaries, but Samson upon whom the Spirit of the Lord had moved, insisted: "Get
her for me.." Judges 14:4.
In the best of families with the best of methods situations in which parent and child stand at opposite poles
of opinion will arise. What then shall be done? After all the good input, must the parents at last turn to putting down
the child? After the child has been fully trained in making wise decisions, shall the parent withdraw from them the
privilege, even duty, to make them, and force wise life choices upon them? Shall parents lose faith in God's guidance
and doubt that His grace applied to their child rearing, is sufficient to move the child into adulthood? Will force
accomplish any good that God's wisdom and grace cannot? No.
It is at such times when doubt, blame, and anger could upset us that our faith in the wisdom of God's
authority serves us best. It allows us to trust Him to do His business while we mind our own business in the roles we
serve. We are not sent to do the Lord's work with the devil's tools of force that manipulate and crush the wills of the
partners whom we serve as Leaders. We are not sent to turn the wheel of authority down on another by devaluing the
authority they have been given or by forcing our will or even God's will upon them. We can't force God's will, for it is
not His will that we force others, but that each choose to obey Him.
Just as the wheels on the chariot of Ezekiel's vision turned not when they went (Ezekiel 1:17-20), so the wheels
of family circles must not turn to oppress. How can we make any forward progress if we do not turn the wheel? Note
that the chariot was lifted up and moved forward by the Holy Spirit. Likewise the Holy Spirit must be the power in the
wheels of our partnerships to lift us and move us forward. If we are to move at all, we must place our impasses before
God in prayer and submit our plans to His will. As Leader and Partner unite to seek God's will in prayer and study,
each must be accountable to God to obey as each understands how His Spirit is leading. It is better not to move at all
than to run ahead of the leading and empowerment of His Holy Spirit.
Father, may unity in the Spirit mark all our moves. Amen.
Testing times can be tense times. After standards for good mental input are taught, will the child choose the good or
evil on TV, in the library, on the computer, etc.?
After the driver's training lessons, will the child drive safely with the family car?
When the agreed-upon dating age is reached, will he/she uphold moral values?
Can we trust the Holy Spirit to guide our children to behave wisely, as they graduate from one level of responsibility
to another?
In the testing we learn the areas in which the child needs further guidance to make wiser decisions. Training in how to
apply our values to life situations is as essential as is teaching the values. "He that handleth a matter wisely shall find
good: and whoso trusteth in the Lord, happy is he." Proverbs 16:20.
Check the tests you are facing. What needs to be done to equip your child to perform wisely?
Are you choosing faith and purposely refusing to distrust in this matter?
Do you send him off with your faith in God buoying his sense of readiness to succeed or with your fear predicting his
probable failure?
Our attitudes reflect what we really expect to happen during the tests that our children face.
96
March 27
Longsuffering Lessens Suffering
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering,..." Galatians 5:22.
How might "poor in spirit" look? Picture a young child with no earning ability, resources, or skills for
independent survival. Yet he is happy and carefree because his loving father delights in meeting his every need. He
sees himself as a joy, not a burden, to his father and delights in every good gift His father gives him. Trusting that his
father knows how to provide for him, he feels no fear of abuse or neglect. He may not understand his father's daily
need to go off to work, but he endures it as something father needs to do and he needs to allow. In his childish way
he honors his father and values his father's authority in the family. The poor in spirit, who are members of the
kingdom of heaven, also enjoy God's fatherly care as His children.
The Spirit of God joins God the Father in His care. He writes Commandment V in our minds and hearts, then
uses our regard for it to teach us to value God's authority at work in our behalf. It is His tool for producing a fruit of
the Spirit--longsuffering. The Spirit's fruit of love, joy, and peace result from loving God with all the heart, soul, mind,
and strength. As we poor-in-spirit children begin our task of building loving partnerships, the Holy Spirit develops the
fruit of longsuffering in us.
What is longsuffering? It is long, patient endurance of offenses or injuries and implies refraining from the
enforcement of what is due. This quality resists responding with impatience to needy behavior, so that we can think
how to meet people's needs before we wreck our chances to be useful. It is best dressed in cheerfulness that shows
we trust God to do what He must to build our characters despite how long it takes. Longsuffering stops when we start
resisting God's will for us by murmuring and complaining. It is like patience which, of course, stops when impatience
begins.
Who has longsuffering? God has it. (Exodus 34:6.) He bears with our offenses to Him, as He trains us to
endure injuries that occur on our way from the proud look to life in Jesus. Why? "The Lord is...longsuffering to usward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance." 2 Peter 3:9. He desires that our
"days may be long upon the land" He gives us.
Who needs it? Parents and children need it to become equipped to work with needs they see in each other.
Longsuffering empowers children to obey simply because they trust parental authority. They keep doing the
necessary tasks to reach their goals, even if they cannot understand how each task relates to the benefits they seek.
Longsuffering helps parents teach children to honor and obey willingly rather than force compliance and rob them of
wisdom they need to relate to God's love. Longsuffering spares them needless suffering.
Lord, may we show our gratitude for Your longsuffering toward us by relating with cheerful longsuffering to others.
Amen.
Love builds on trust that occurs as people do what they say.

Do you expect people to love too soon--before you've built trust with them by doing what you say?
How can you and they benefit from longsuffering, as you wait for love to thrive, and they wait for trust to grow?
Is it easier to be patient with people whose authority you trust than with those whove not proven their "know how"?
Do you place unjust expectations on children and lose patience with them because they cannot meet your
expectations?
Evaluating and valuing what they know will help you size the task to what they can handle successfully with your
guidance. In this way you value the authority (know-how) they have: with them you inhabit a sphere within which
they can know what they're doing and grow in authority.
How does longsuffering influence the way you apply Commandment V in your home?
Does it add cheerfulness to your counsel to honor parents?
Or do you abuse it by enduring misbehavior without seeking ways to discipline?
Can we ignore or despise longsuffering and expect children to learn longsuffering?
97
March 28
Longsuffering Is Hunger's Helper
"All Scripture is...profitable...that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work." 2 Timothy 3:16, 17
NASB. "For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat:.." Matthew 25:35.
The wise do not wait until they know everything before they do anything, nor do children. As soon as they
learn, they do. So as we gain a new fruit of the Spirit, we shall explore a major use for it. If we aren't meeting essential
needs, perhaps it's because we lack some quality required to persevere and succeed at doing so.
Once upon an opportunity, a child discovered a boy who had none to feed him. He convinced his hungry
comrade to come to his home. No shortage of food had ever sent him to bed hungry. No angry adults had ever
chased him from the table. No cruel words had ever spoiled his appetite. He had every reason to trust that his friend
would be well fed and happy in his home. "Guess what, Dad! I found a hungry boy. He's just like me, so I knew
you'd want to feed him. Can he eat with us, Dad?"
No problem with the idea was apparent...yet, so the boy took his place at the table. At first he was a good
eater, and all were glad to see him enjoy the bounties before him. But trouble began when he began asking for his
favorite foods that were not included in the meal. They urged him to substitute what they had for what he wanted
and be satisfied. But determined to get his way, he refused to eat what he saw until he got what he wanted. For a
while all was well as he demanded, got, and ate huge amounts of expensive foods.
Months passed, but the boy did not seem to grow on his chosen diet, and its cost was making deep inroads
into the budget. What at first was freely given was now required of the family, as he had become a member and had
moved in with them. Despair began to set in, as the father could see no way out of this responsibility that had
assigned itself to him. At last the father stopped buying the special food, the mother changed from serving three
meals a day to one a week, the son began spending his mealtimes at the neighbors, but the boy gave them no peace
as he complained continuously. Soon mealtime equaled misery, and no one in the family hungered for what was
offered. The table, decorated with flowers, seldom saw food.
What is the reason that "I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat.."? Matthew 25:42. Longsuffering is
essential in feeding the hungry who don't like what is served, don't seem to grow, yet keep their feet under the table
longer than you want to feed them. Those who lack faith in God's wisdom will die, though they know it not. We need
longsuffering to feed them God's Word to satisfy their hunger for faith in the wisdom of God's authority, and to claim
Commandment V that our "days may be long upon the land which the Lord...giveth thee." Exodus 20:12.
Father, show me who needs to eat the word and live. Amen.
Do you know any who hunger for physical food?

What are you doing to feed them?
Does the effort cost more than you care to pay for what little you gain from it?
What is happening among the family members?
Are they bringing other people to eat or are they going to neighbors to find what they are seeking?
Which people in your family lack faith that God knows how to fix problems in your relations?
Are they hungry to learn how or do they like to depend upon others, not God, to sustain them?
Does your duty to feed them vanish when you stop doing it?
What short-circuits your longsuffering?
Is it fear that you may be wrong about what you're doing? fear that you may fail and be branded incompetent?
Is it fear that you may be rejected by the hungry or even by the family members who covet the funds for selfish uses?
Shall you fear man or fear God?
Will more faith in the wisdom of God's authority, more valuing of the Holy Spirit's use of Commandment V, yield
longer longsuffering for you?
Review the story in the context of your church family. What might improve "mealtimes" in church?
Who is dying of hunger? Who is caring?
98
March 29
The Greatest Parent-Child Partnership
"He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth Me: and he that loveth Me shall be loved of
My Father, and I will love Him, and will manifest Myself to him." John 14:21.
As Jesus sent disciples two by two to witness of God's love for all mankind, He sends us. Two by two He
sends us to say, "God's love for you is like the love between a parent and a child. We want you to join us and share in
His love." The greatest parent is our heavenly Father who gave us the greatest Son. "For God so loved the world, that
He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John
3:16. In harmony with the Father's plan, Jesus said, "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it
more abundantly." John 10:10. God's model plan for covenant partnerships between parents and children calls us to
give what is needed so that all may live abundantly.
The song of Isaiah 9:6 captures a glimpse of this greatness. "For unto us a child is born, unto us a Son is
given: and the government shall be upon His shoulder: and His name shall be called Wonderful, Counseller, The
mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace." The role of Jesus in the creation of man (Colossians 1:16)
gives Him a joint role (Genesis 1:26) with His Father. His role in our redemption is that of God's Son and the Son of
man--roles that transcend our wisdom to fully explain, but not our freedom to accept and enjoy them.
The unity of the Father and the Son is intended to be indivisible and everlasting. As we hallow the name of
one, we hallow the name of both. As we love and obey one, we love and obey both. As we honor one, we honor
both. In the process our parent-child partnerships become indivisible and everlasting. We too are honored, that we
may honor our parents so that all of us may live long lives. Note these verses.
"Because he hath set his love upon Me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath
known My name. He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and
honour him. With long life will I satisfy him, and show him my salvation." Psalm 91:14-16.
The greatest Son, Jesus, demonstrates by His example the honor that is encompassed in obedience. "Though
He were a Son, yet learned He obedience by the things which He suffered; and being made perfect, He became the
author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey Him." Hebrews 5:8, 9. He wants our hunger for God's wisdom to
move us beyond drinking milk to eating "strong meat" that we may grow up and become "them that are of full age,
even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil." Hebrews 5:14. We can
be-have wisely, as we match our do with our say about who we claim to be, and use what we have to love to meet our
needs for life. These principles help us guide and decide wisely.
Our Father, may we honor you in all ways always. Amen.
Are there days when you haven't always felt the greatest about being a parent or a child?
Does it help to consider the position of honor we are called to fill in the family of God?
Meditate upon this high calling we have in the family of God.
Let the significance of the task rise to surpass the high investment of hardship and suffering and resources it requires
to succeed in our roles.
What makes our parent-child roles so important in the kingdom of God?
What aspects of the partnership of God the Father and God the Son, inspire you to improve yours?
List some specifics re the wisdom of God's authority that help you parent wisely. Proverbs 16:33 states, "The lot is cast
into the lap; but the whole disposing thereof is of the Lord."
Rejoice in I Thessalonians 5:24: "Faithful is He that calleth you, Who also will do it."
If you are a parent or a child, have you recognized that God has called you to this position of honor to represent the
love that flows between God and His Son and all His children?
As you honor God in obedience to your calling, He honors you by giving you His Holy Spirit and fulfilling His
commandment V promise in your family partnerships. See Acts 5:32.
99
100
March 31
Forgiveness
"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
Ephesians 4:32.
Forgiveness in God's Family
I:
How fast can you forgive, Lord?

How sharp is your two-edged sword?
How soon can faith in Your hallowed name
Remove my guilt and erase my shame?
HE:
How fast does darkness flee the light?

Or snow make barren landscape white?
How rapidly is a rainbow born
To cheer the targets of the storm?
How soon in sun are shadows made?
How long does it take for smiles to trade?
How fast does hope scale mountain heights
When a lover his beloved sights?
How fast does Mom rush to baby's cry?
How soon does her kiss a teardrop dry?
How quickly does "love you" pave the way
For a hearty hug and a happy day?
How soon does a boy at break of dawn
Ask to go play on the dew-damp lawn?
How long does his father count the cost
Before he goes after him when he's lost?
How speedy is Dad with a baby tooth?
How quickly do children turn to youth?
How fast does the front door open fly
To a prodigal son just stopping by?
In the speed that it takes to match an eye
Your Lord forgives you when you draw nigh
To Calvary where forgiveness flows
And the love of God through Jesus glows.
You prize it best as you pass it freely
To all of God's family and mean it really.
I:
How fast shall I hold Your forgiving grace?
HE:
Hold fast till you see Your Saviour's face.

by Norma Timm

Write your own dialogue with your heavenly Father. Let Him show you how much He loves you. Express your desires
and praise and your puzzling problems to Him.
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March 1

"TRAIN UP A CHILD IN THE WAY..."

How do today's concepts relate to you?

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Consider the circumstances of your parents when you were born.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

How do today's concepts relate to you?

How do today's concepts relate to you?

How do today's concepts relate to you?

How do today's concepts relate to you?

How do today's concepts relate to you?

How do today's concepts relate to you?

How do you rate?

How do today's concepts relate to you?

How do today's concepts relate to you?

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Please review February 24 and the chart at February's end.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

How do today's concepts relate to you?

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Do you ever wonder if God knows what He is doing in your relationships?

How do today's concepts relate to you?

How do today's concepts relate to you?

How do today's concepts relate to you?

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Do you need a loving spirit?

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Scan the list of people you know.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

How do today's concepts relate to you?

How do today's concepts relate to you?

How do today's concepts relate to you?

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Place yourself in the partnership circle with a parent or a child.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Love builds on trust that occurs as people do what they say.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

Do you know any who hunger for physical food?

How do today's concepts relate to you?

How fast can you forgive, Lord?

How fast does darkness flee the light?

How fast shall I hold Your forgiving grace?

Hold fast till you see Your Saviour's face.

How do today's concepts relate to you?

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