Bry Bitar, Montreal LGBT teen, sparks

school uniform revolution

Royal West Academy student convinced school officials to allow switch from
boys' to girls' uniform
Shari Okeke CBC News
Posted:Mar 20, 2015 5:30 AM ET
Last Updated:Mar 20, 2015 10:31 AM ET

Bry Bitar's request to school officials led to a board-wide discussion about

how best to serve students and staff in similar circumstances. Shari
Okeke/CBC
When I first met Bry Bitar, I assumed they were 17 years old, but it turns out
Bry is a tall, charming 13-year-old.
And yes, Bry prefers the pronoun "they" not he or she. Bry also prefers to
avoid labels.
"If I need a label, it would be androgynous, leaning towards feminine, which
basically means I feel both masculine and feminine. But... a lot more to the
feminine side. I do like wearing... women's clothing, I do like wearing
makeup," Bry said.
From birth until this school year, Bry was Bryan.
Now, Bry has stopped wearing their high school's boys' uniform and instead
wears the girls' uniform.

It's a first at Royal West Academy in Montreal.

Royal West Academy's LGBT club a place of solace for students10:39
LGBT Club helps youth open up
I was at the high school, a public alternative school, to interview students
about the new LGBT Club, which is also new this school year.

Michel Bitar and his 13-year-old, Bry, say Royal West Academy's LGBT Club
has boosted Bry's confidence. (Shari Okeke/CBC)
Bry is a member of the club and was eager to talk about it.
"I learned that people are much more accepting even though there is hatred
in the world, because I have experienced that. I learned that people are very
OK with [who I am] and I should be OK with it, and that's what the LGBT Club
has helped me understand. It is OK to be 'different,' " Bry said.
The club meets at least once a week in a classroom at lunchtime.
It's a safe space where students can support each other, speak openly and
share their experiences.
In elementary school in Laval, Bry faced a lot of bullying, which turned
physical, and by 11 years old, it was too much.
"I became depressed, like severely. I didn't want to talk to anyone, I thought
everyone hated me.... I did become suicidal and I attempted, but thank God
nothing happened because I'm better today," Bry said.

Family accepts Bry with open arms

As a mother with two children in elementary school, I felt my heart stop.
Then it cracked. For Bry, and their parents.

Doc Zone: Inspiring parents of transgender children

Immediately I knew I would need Bry's parents' permission to air the

interview on Daybreak and I would have understood had they said no.
Instead, Bry's father, Michel Bitar, agreed to meet me.
I was amazed by how calmly he reacted when I said Bry told me about the
suicide attempt.
"Because I come from different culture" Lebanese "and we grew up
differently, it took [Bry] a while to tell me. So he told his mom who told me,
and he was worried that we'd divorce. And I looked at him [and asked], 'Why
would I want to do that? If I didn't love you and didn't love your mom and
your brother then I would do that. But because I love you, I'm willing to do
anything to make it easier.' ... I could see it in his face what a big relief it was
for him," Bitar said.
Bry's parents consulted a therapist for support.
Uniform switch
More recently, they along with Bry met with the administration at Royal
West Academy and requested a switch from the boys' school uniform to the
girls'.
'I told him, "You opened the door for other kids in your situation to have
these benefits"'- Michel Bitar of child Bry
To Bry's surprise, the school agreed.
"The second [the meeting] ended I had the biggest smile on my face in the
world and I was just so happy in that moment," Bry said.

Bry now goes to the girls' gym class and uses a separate bathroom.
Bry's situation led the school to initiate a discussion at the school board
level, said Tony Pita, Royal West Academy principal.
He said the English Montreal School Board is striking a committee to assess
how best to serve students and staff in a similar situation.
The goal is to have a policy in place as soon as possible, Pita said.
This has Bry's father beaming with pride.
Trailblazing teen
"[Bry] opened the door. I told him, 'You opened the door for other kids in your
situation to have these benefits,' " Bitar said.
'It [has] helped me to gain some sort of confidence, enough for me to feel
comfortable in my skin.'- Bry Bitar of school's LGBT Club
Still, it's a learning process for the whole family and Bitar worries about his
teen's safety at times, with good reason.
Bry's appearance often attracts unwanted attention and hostility.
"In the streets, people have screamed things at me. I've been followed down
my street. I've been hit on by people in the street sarcastically. They'll
[say], 'Oh so beautiful,' but say it in a sarcastic tone then start laughing," Bry
said.
But support from the LGBT Club at school is helping.
"It's easier to stand up for myself if someone were to bring me down because
I'm 'different.' ... It [has] helped me to gain some sort of confidence, enough
for me to feel comfortable in my skin," Bry said.
Bry's dad sees the difference the club has made and says it's additional
support for him and Bry's mother.

Bry said all schools should have LGBT clubs to support students, raise
awareness and promote acceptance.
"You can't really change everyone's opinion, but if I could change at least a
few people or even one it would be amazing," Bry said.