Kaitlyn Seramur

October 17, 2013

SW 3510: Terri Duggane
Ethnographic Study of Family

It all began in upstate New York where my mother was the first born into a newlywed
German couple, Patricia and James Mindling (my grandparents). They lived in a small trailer
docked in the wood somewhere near a river. The winters where harsh but that did not stop my
grandfather from making his commute to his local dairy where he worked as a milk man. My
grandmother stayed at home and tended to the house and my mother Jane. After my grandfather
was laid off from his job they moved to Ohio where they bought a large farm and had four more
children. While they lived on the farm there was a large fire that killed off most of their livestock
and destroyed the barn. They then moved again, this time they came to Michigan, where my
grandparents reside to this day. This series of challenging events cause my grandparents and their
family to move all around, leaving behind their lives in those two states. Their way of adapting to
these crises was to move and start over, they could have adjusted with the events and work with
what they had but that was not the route they decided to do. This pattern of coping and adapting
to change is similar to the way I handle change and similar to the way my mother also handles
challenges.
When my mother growing up, there was some abuse that happened between her and her
father so naturally she did what she had been taught to do, she got up and left. As soon as she
turned eighteen she dropped out of high school and hitch hiked her way to California, joining in
on the hippie movement. I was able to get a better understanding of why she ran away by asking
her a series of questions and then comparing this to the literature. According to Roberts, A.
(1982) the findings of his research done on stress and coping patterns among adolescent
runaways, certain types of stressful events combined with inadequate coping patterns led many
youths to run away. This is very relevant to my mothers life at the time and helps explain the
reason she may have ran away. She explored the west coast for a while, living off the land and

discovering who she was. My mother and father met in the forest at a rainbow festival at Louis
and Clark national forest, where they feel deep in love and decided to commit to each other a
year later. They married in 1977 at the young ages of 20 and 26.
My father, before going to the rainbow festival, was discharged from the army where he
fought in Vietnam. He was raised in West Bend Wisconsin coming from a very large wild French
family of 12 children. He was the fifth oldest of the many and had a lot of responsibility to help
support the family because of the passing of his father at a very young age. He joined the army to
escape from that responsibility and to start his own life.
Once my parents married and decided to have children they settled down in a nice house,
in that home they made the decision to practice the religion of Christianity. My mothers parents
are very conservative Christians, but who did not practice this religion until they began having
children. This same pattern showed up with my parents, once they began having children, they
decided to practice their faith. When talking to my oldest sister about what it was like as a
teenager, she explained to me that our parents were very pushy about her attending church and
being involved with the youth group. Now my sister wants nothing to do with any organized
religion, this could be because it was forced upon her with no room for her to make her own
decision. My sister and I are 13 years apart so our upbringings are very different from each other.
My parents did not forces me to attend church and let me choose myself, today, I can say that my
faith is my own and not my parents.
As years the go by, I discover more and more secrets about my siblings, parents and
grandparents; Assuming that these stories were not told to me because fear of judgment, the
thought of confessing to the fact that I have found out, sort of frightens me. The reason that these
secrets have been kept from me could have something to do with the strong religious beliefs held

firm in my family on my mothers side. Another reason these secrets may have been kept could
be fear of me not forgiving those who have mentally and physically hurt the people I love so
deeply. Overall, as I reflect on the secrets in my life, I see a similar pattern. I fear that my family
may not forgive me for the things I did in the past, I fear that they may be judgmental towards
me. No matter how false these statements may be, my behavior reflects that of my parents and
grandparents way of keeping things hidden.
My mother was sexual abused by her father, the issue was address when my mother feel
deep into depression in her mid-thirties. I believe the reason she wanted to address the issue with
others was due to her depression and feelings of internalizing it for so long. In an article titled
Childrens disclosures of Sexual Abuse: Learning from Direct Inquiry the author, Schaeffer, P
(2011), explains that one of the reasons for why children identified for why they chose to tell was
classified as a disclosure as a result of internal stimuli. Knowing this helps be better understand
her situation. Allegedly, my grandfather confessed to the family, and my mother has been able to
forgive him and move on. As I mentioned before they do not know that I am aware of this, I was
not born yet when my grandfather confessed. Often times I find it impossible to speak and act
normally around him, but if my mother can forgive him then I too must do the same.
Attitude towards illness in my family has allows been based around a holistic approach,
And growing up in a Christian home attitudes towards death were never associated with
negativity. Having this exposure to an alternative approach to healing has really help shape my
mind set on the matter of death and illness. My grandmother and mother have always been keen
on using homeopathic remedies and non-pharmaceutical type drugs. Today, I find myself being
very passionate about the epidemic of the abuse of prescription drugs in our country and other
places around the world. This is because of my exposure to an alternative way of healing and

dealing with pain. It is easier for me to cope with illness in a healthy way because of the way I
was raised. In fact, prior to choosing to study social work, I was planning to study alternative
medicine. I really wanted to help people by introducing them to a different way of dealing with
illness.
Over the past couple of years I have observed my deep desire to befriend people of
different cultures than mine. It was not until this project that I really reflected on that and was
able to see why this might be. Growing up in a small town out in the country with majority white
middle class people, one might think that I was not exposed to a diverse group of cultures but
that is not the case. Two of my mothers siblings are missionaries and the others, as well as her
parents, have a huge heart for those in need and those of different ethnicity. Every Sunday, we all
used to head over to my grandparents house after church and have lunch, ice cream, play games
and eat popcorn. Most of the time my aunts and uncles or grandparents had people over from out
of the country or new into the United States. This really deepened my awareness to other people
of different backgrounds and cultures than mine. Along with that exposure, I went on a few trips
out of the country to serve others in poverty and this was a huge learning experience in discovery
people of different ethnicity than mine. Recently I have moved to Detroit and have experienced
SO many different types of people with such diverse backgrounds and upbringings. Detroit is
such a unique and diverse city!
As a social worker, my personal cultural identity will play a huge role in the way I
interact and engage with others. My standards of behavior have been shaped throughout the
years and continue to construct as I go on to get my education. My cultural identity makes up
who I am and I cannot deny it or excuse it, embracing it will help me be a more effective social
worker. There is a difference, though, between embracing it and abusing it, this is something that

I must grasp and understand, especially when working with other of different cultural identity.
Being ethnocentric and thinking that my way is the right way is not the approach I plan to take
but it is easy to fall into that mindset, so having this awareness will be very beneficial to my
practice as a social worker.
Another thing that I must always be aware of when interacting and engaging with others,
are my values and morals that I hold. It is fine to have strong value but it is not fine to expect
others to value the same things. For instance, as a Christian, I value things such as love,
kindness, loyalty, forgiveness and being nonjudgmental but one can still value these things
without being a Christian. So when working with other, I cannot force or expect them to believe
the same things that I do. Although these are my personal beliefs, during my work as a social
worker I can expect that, while under stress, my beliefs will be tried. According to Watson, K
(1979), Personal beliefs, which lie at the hart of the effectiveness of social workers, are battered
by the stress of the times. Having this awareness will be helpful when I began my practice.
In conclusion, my family of origin and cultural identity make up who I am and help me
understand why I do the things that I do. The patterns of my family show up in my day to day
life, whether I want them to or not. In doing this ethnographic study of my origin I have come to
realize and reflect on my life today and my future life as a social worker. It has been very
beneficial to research deeper into my family patterns and background. Also, finding appropriate
literature on certain events that have occurred in my family such as, sexual abuse, runaway
adolescents and personal beliefs, really broadened my horizon and helped me better understand
these major issues.

References

Roberts, A. R. (1982). Stress and coping patterns among adolescent runaways. Journal Of
Social Service Research, 5(1/2), 15-27.

Schaeffer, P. P., Leventhal, J. M., & Asnes, A. G. (2011). Children's disclosures of sexual abuse:
Learning from direct inquiry. Child Abuse & Neglect, 35(5), 343-352.

Watson, K. W. (1979). Social work stress and personal belief. Child Welfare, 58(1), 3-12.