The Secrets within the Willow Loop

By: Anna Rastatter

Mia always got a stomach ache just before bedtime. Her mothers wrinkles became more
prominent around this time, like a forgotten receipt at the bottom of a purse. Mia noticed her
mothers mouth would settle into a straight, unwavering line at about 9:30, just before she
announced it was time for bed. It had always been just the two of them in a rickety two
bedroom, one bath apartment positioned somewhere between the railroad tracks and a decaying
housing project. Mia calculated it had taken seven of her twelve birthdays for her mother to
afford the not-so-gently used furniture that consumed most of the space in their third floor home.
Sitting side-by-side on the couch, Mia caught her mother picking at one of the burn holes
on the arm of the couch. The local diners uniform that her mom wore was unblemished and
wrinkle-free, clashing with the tarnished couch. Her mothers night shift was approaching like
the dreadful inevitability of Mias bedtime. She could feel her moms ochre eyes repeatedly
sliding to take in her face. Mia hadnt told anyone about the dreams that had been plaguing her
for the entirety of the summer. She knew her mother had enough to concern herself with because
the Mason jar that sat atop the fridge was not collecting change at the rate it did in yesteryears.
For the last half hour the television that picked up more static than cable had been filling in the

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silence more than providing entertainment. It was nearing that time that they loathed with every
stitch of their skin. With a final unnecessary leveling of her nametag that read Vivian, her
mother stood.
Ill tuck you in before I go, my beautiful girl, her mother softly declared, as if this
wasnt their nightly routine. Mia reluctantly approached her bedroom, with her eyes
concentrated on the stained carpet that surely had once been a solid beige color. She let her
mother pull the covers up to her chin, before leaning up to kiss her mothers smooth, caramel
cheek. An understated smile crept onto her mothers face. Before Mia could think to process it,
her mother had turned off the light and closed the bedroom door, still smiling at Mia as she went.
The click of the front door locking left behind a foreboding silence. Sleep was indefinitely
evasive.
Mias eyes went to the dream catcher that had always hung above her twin bed. The
complex web of sinew seemed to be whispering to the willow loop while the strands of beads
and feathers eavesdropped. When her mother had given it to Mia, she had said that there was
meaning to every part of the heirloom.
The understated enchantment of the dream catcher seemed to be in direct contrast to the
rest of Mias room. The bed occupied most of the small space. The wallpaper was covered in
rounded squares of contrasting colors, most certainly applied to the thin walls in the 1970s. The
blue shag carpet was splotched with what appeared to be black paint. Mia had chosen her
bedding as an eighth birthday present from K-mart. She had picked the blue and green comforter
because it had been the cheapest while her mother liked it as it matched the carpet. On either
side of her headboard, Mia had scattered the motivational stickers she had peeled off of the tests

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and homework assignments she had completed last year at Marshall Middle School. Centered
right above where her sleeping head should have been, Mia found herself staring at the dream
catcher once again. Her eyelids were heavy, and after a short time sleep prevailed.
He started off from a distance, but Mia could feel his eyes upon her relentlessly coaxing
her gaze to remain on his face. Mia observed everything but him, taking in the scene around her.
In this dream, Mia found herself within an isolated, picturesque park. It was that time of day
when she was forced to squint her timeless brown eyes against the setting sun. The concrete
bench next to her would be numbingly cold this late in the day. It had not retained warmth for
hours. She wore a white shift that had become familiar to her. The fabric danced about with her
smooth black hair in the pervasive wind. She should have been cold. She nudged at the short,
damp grass that was biting her foot. Her peripherals acknowledged that his gait, as always, was
one of relaxed arrogance. While the scene may have changed, the details remained the same.
Mustering up brave thoughts, he invaded her personal space. The peak of her head came
to where his bellybutton would be under his tattered shirt. The greased back hair that was
patterned with a blend of gray and white fell forward when he leaned down to whisper in her ear.
She drew away, but not far enough.
It is a pleasure to see you again Mia. We have many matters to discuss. Sit, my girl,
He ominously whispered in his uneven accent. Mia occupied the minimal space she could on the
bench. The stone chilled her straight through the bones, making her feel transparent. The sun no
longer offered any solace to her light caramel skin. He sat too close for comfort, setting his
broad, withered hand upon her knee. It began making small, precise circles, slowly inching to
explore her thigh. Mia absentmindedly observed that his leathery skin was the same hue as her

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mothers, but with a dusting of white hair; it was just a touch darker than her own. He made a
sharp noise that announced it was past time for her to meet his flat, black eyes. Shed only ever
known her mothers eyes, which seemed to provide an uninterrupted path to her radiant soul.
The onyx eyes that stared back at her now were an immense, merciless vortex.
Mia, he said unblinkingly, we have spoken before about your dream catcher. You
think its power lost for it used to keep away unwanted dreams. I know how to restore your
dream catcher to its original enchantment.
Mia dared to hope she understood what that meant. During her recent waking hours, she
had been careful not to think about loathing him with every piece of her. His clairvoyant
existence had access to her conscious and unconscious mind. He always knew, and there was a
punishment for such thoughts.
Your make it clear to me I am unwelcome in your mind. We are perfect for one another,
and yet you abhor me. I have treated you as nothing but a princess, and you continue to rebel.
You become a prisoner within your own mind and I can no longer tolerate it, he said, his accent
becoming more agitated. I will set you free, but you must do something for me. The dream
catcher has a twin, a gemelo. You must find this cazador de sueos for me, and make no delay.
Reunite the identical dream catchers by hanging them together above your sleeping head. I will
then be banished from your mind if you do this last favor for me. I wish that I could exist here
with you, but you have given me no choice.
Mias thoughts were racing, wondering where on the face of the vast earth the matching
dream catcher could be. A knowing smirk forged a path through the beard that dominated his
long, gaunt face. His hand on her leg had halted its persistent movement. The slight hope that

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had built up inside her began to drain as he pinned her under his gaze. The seconds stretched on
for infinity, Mia thought. Her pulsating chest couldnt keep up with the increased beat of her
heart.
It is located nearer to your heart than you can imagine, my girl, he said as her body
tensed, ready to take flight. Nothing caused her to tremble more than when he referred to her
with ownership. They sat in silence that made her feel as if she were deep underwater, with no
foreseeable opportunity for air. His hand had continued its motion on her leg. The weight of it
seemed to increase with the endless silence. Eventually, he expelled a thoughtful sigh and stood.
She remained sitting ramrod straight, staring out over the ocean of trees. He turned to her and
forcefully pulled her by the underarms to stand. He kissed her on the mouth, surely bruising her
lips, before telling her she was free to go.
Mia was falling. She woke with a jar that shattered her skeleton. She was caught in the
undertow of sweat and tremors. Her empty stomach heaved, but found no purchase. After
taking deep, calming breaths she glanced at the clock, summating her mother had completed four
of the eight hour shift. She needed a bath of fresh air to comprehend the task that had been given
to her. Mia knew she was breaking one of the few rules her mother undeniably enforced, but
without a thought of regret and remorse, she had grabbed her hoodie and was through the door,
key in hand.
Vivian poured the sixth cup of the police officers coffee to the rim, knowing at this time
of night no cream was necessary. The diner was empty for it being a Friday night. As of recent,
they couldnt even expect the rush of desperate nightlife crowd, crawling out of the closing bar
or club. She resumed her post behind the counter and fell back into her revere about Mia.

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Vivian was distraught. Her daughter, usually so vivacious, has fallen into despondency at the
beginning of the summer, around the time of her birthday. It took such effort for Mia to even
converse. Vivian had always cherished Mias power with language. Lately, it had vanished
altogether. It wasnt just the conversation that worried Vivian either. She hadnt seen Mia with a
friend all summer. In fact, Mia didnt leave the house unless Vivian guilt-tripped her out. While
Mia had never really had an overactive appetite, lately it had proved nonexistent. Mia had
transformed from a slight, loving twelve-year-old into a gaunt, empty shell going through the
motions of life only for the sake of her mother. Vivian wished she could afford taking Mia to a
professional, but the diners pay was barely enough to cover basic needs at this point.
Devin came out of his office taking in the under populated diner through red, hooded
eyes. Some people just werent able to manage the night shift. He came to lean on the counter
next to where Vivian stood without looking at her.
You can go Viv. Celinas got it from here, he said, his voice groggy with sleep. Vivian
began chewing on the inside of her cheek. Celina had worked here for three months while
Vivian had been faithful two years this September. She turned to Devin to protest just as he gave
the passing Celina a once-over from head to toe, slowing down somewhere in between. Blood
boiling, Vivian filled the officers half-empty cup for the last time. He grabbed her elbow as she
turned, giving her a sympathetic look while placing forty dollars in her empty hand. She thanked
him profusely before grabbing her keys. Devin was now twirling a strand of Celinas hair
around his finger from across the counter. Vivian headed for home without bidding farewell.
The night was unreasonably chilled for mid-August. With a strong-minded step, Vivian
climbed the three flights of stairs. She approached Mias bedroom, still chewing on her cheek.

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Opening the door a crack, she first noticed the sheets were in a tangled mess. Each blue pillow
was thrown on the small floor space. The dream catcher that she had given to Mia years ago
hung at a distorted angle. Stomach bottoming out, the absence of Mia was initially
incomprehensible. Panic set in as Vivian retraced her steps through the cramped apartment
calling her daughters name like a mantra.
Mia breath caught when she found the front door unlocked. She threw the door open to
find her mother flailing for the only phone in the apartment. Their gazes met as the rim of her
mothers eyes bubbled over with tears. After a long, tearful embrace, her mother released a
wrath Mia didnt realize she was capable of. Her mother, who rarely used her native tongue, was
mixing an unstable concoction of English and Spanish. This offense was a great breach of trust,
Mia knew. All she could think to do was apologize and hug her mother close. Vivian
interrogated Mia relentlessly. All she could think to do was assume a shameful silence that
pushed her mother into further despair. The first streak of sunlight was coming through the
musty apartment window when her mother finally relented.
I love you more than anything, Mia, more than life itself. If anything happened to you,
life would lose its precious worth, her mother said in resolution. Tears still streaked her
mothers beautiful face as she tucked Mia back into bed. Although Mia had been unable to find
her dream catchers twin, she had only had time to briefly dive into the dumpster of the local
thrift store down the block. Mia fell asleep scheming desperately about what tomorrow would
bring. For the first time since Mia could hope to remember, she had a dreamless sleep.
The shadows faced the wrong direction when Mia eventually surfaced. The clanging
metal and the smell of pancakes coerced Mia out of bed and directly into the kitchen. Strands of

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her mothers dark brown hair tickled the patches of flour that splotched her mothers gentle face.
Her mother turned when Mia failed to repress a giggle. In answer to her little laugh, Mias
mother begrudgingly gave a slow, blinding smile.
They spent their Saturday afternoon baking everything possible, using recipes from the
family cookbook while sunlight flowed about them. The intermingled scent of Churros, Flan,
and Leche Frita made the air within the small room delectable. In between bouts of eating their
creations, Mia and her mother warbled songs she hadnt thought about since her childhood.
When they had eaten more than their fill of treats, Mia and her mother fell to the couch laughing
about old times. Like eight years back when Mia had insisted she could clothe herself before
they went to the park, wearing a floral dress. Her mother regretted letting her only after Mia
decided to hang upside down on the monkey bars, revealing she had forgotten her
undergarments. Mia couldnt recall a time when they had laughed so hard their stomachs
threatened to burst.
Let me show you something, my girl, her mother said unfolding herself from the dingy
couch. Coming back into the room a minute later, Mia observed a tattered book under her
mothers arms. The worn pages jutted out in assorted chaos, partitioned every few inches by
what appeared to be objects between pages. Her mother set it on the rickety coffee table at their
knees. Mia had to lean forward off the edge of the couch to get the best view. The first page
revealed the antique book to be a picture album. The initial picture showed a gentleman dressed
in a charro suit standing next to a woman in a flowing dress that Mia assumed were the shades of
the rainbow, even though the black and white photograph kept secret the beautiful colors.

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This is my grandma and pappy, her mother explained. They both died when I was a
young girl, about your age, my dear. The next page showed another couple, equally as beautiful
as the first. The photo was faded, but in a washed out color. The woman was wearing a floor
length, elegant skirt. The man was in a traditional suit and tie. Caught in the turn of a swift
dance move, the pair wore corresponding smiles that crinkled their eyes.
And this is my mommy and poppy. Mia wore a sad smile as her mothers eyes clouded
over in memory. Mia had never met her grandparents. She hadnt known any family but her
mother. The turn of the page revealed her mother, fifteen years younger, standing next to a tan
man. He was almost as beautiful as she was.
This is your father, Mia. She said simply. Mia had never before seen her father. They
shared the same skin tone and eye color. He had the liveliest smile she had ever seen. Happiness
emanated off of the photograph, cutting deep through Mia. It was a picture of what could have
been. While they appeared happy, Mias mother has disclosed that her father had been plagued
with a dark personality. He had died before Mia was born, a victim of gang violence.
Letting her mother turn the page, Mia felt as if the blood was being painfully sucked from
her body. She recognized the face in the next photograph because it had haunted every
unconscious moment, in addition to bleeding over into her wakeful thoughts. Every inch of her
skin was crawling in frantic shock. His black eyes, that had become so familiar, were piercing
through the photograph.
This is your paternal grandfather, she said, lacking the emotion she had when
describing the other pictures. He didnt get along with your padre, she added. When Mia
asked her where he was, trying to keep a steady voice, her mother vaguely recalled he became

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10

deeply involved in black magic circles in their homeland. Her mother had seen him once in her
life, and she did not sound regretful of it.
She then flipped to a break in the middle of the book. The section opened to reveal an
object, infinite in its beauty. While the pages and photographs had become weathered, the
willow loop had endured the test of time. The thin sinew formed a complicated masterpiece of
webbing within the willow loop. The dangling feathers and beads on this dream catcher were as
bright as its match.
Every part has a deep meaning, her mother said with immense wisdom. Mia took it
into her fingers. Her mothers face fell immediately after taking in Mias bloodless face.
Stroking her cheek, her mother stated it was time for bed. Mia didnt protest.
Mia decided to keep the identical dream catcher beside her bed, rather than returning it to
the side of its twin, in case the man was bluffing. She had slept peacefully the previous night, so
she assumed he was deceiving her about needing the magical object to be truly free of his
presence. He had been plaguing her dreams every night without hiatus since her twelfth
birthday. She felt hopeful for the first time in months. She fell under the gentle wave of sleep
thinking about her mother and father in a time when there was nothing but blissfulness.
The fire was everywhere. Lower flames gradually fed into gigantic flames that extended
far above Mias head. At the edge of the uneven ground was a precipice, forming a pit of infinite
fire. The smoke was asphyxiating. He materialized before her through the biggest mountain of
fire. The mask of fury upon his face was its own set of flames, scorching her. She dared not look
away, for she had disobeyed him. Both hands closed around her throat, lifting her from solid

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footing. He pinned her flat at the edge of the pit, her hair rioting within the wind caused by the
oscillating flames.
Put the goddamn dream catcher where it should go just like I instructed, you little
bitch, he growled in her ear. She scrambled like a hellcat to get away from him. The fabric at
the back of her black dress shredded against the rough ground. Her struggle was futile. With a
vehement grunt, he grabbed her heels and threw them over her head. The overwhelming
sensation of stomach abandoning her body was all she knew as she was falling, endlessly falling.
She woke gagging desperately for air, tears falling on their own accord. Mia felt the
bruises materializing around her throat where he had strangled her. Warm, precious blood
trickled from the gauges in her back. She had slammed her temple falling from the bed and now
had a blurred vision of the world. The dream catcher, the twin of her beloved object was gripped
tightly in her shaking hands. Without hesitation, she scrambled to kneel on the bed. Fumbling,
she placed the dream catcher on the nail, reuniting it with the identical. The unfamiliar fell into
place above the original. A faint crimson glow emanated from the weaving within the willow
loops. Head throbbing, darkness clouded the edges of Mias vision. Her lungs could not be
relieved fast enough. This was the last Mia remembered. Surrendering to the darkness, Mia was
hovering within the temperate waves of unconsciousness.
A week passed before the black around her neck faded to deep blue, and then to puce
yellow. Her mother begged, but Mia refused to divulge. Just when Mia thought the tears were
stunted, she would catch her mother sobbing quietly. One evening, as the weather began to
change, they walked to murky river and sat under the draped branches of the willow tree. The
warm sun sashayed with the agile leaves, sending some cascading to the earth. Stroking Mias

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hair, her mother hummed a song that made Mia closing her eyes. She wasnt afraid to fall asleep
anymore.
As they began their slow walk back in the crisp autumn air, Mia placed her hand within
her mothers. Just before rounding the last corner, Mia glanced over her shoulder out of unfound
curiosity. His black eyes found hers from halfway down the block, glowering. Mia stopped cold
in her tracks. Her mother turned, following Mias thousand-yard stare. Recognition colored the
faces of mother and daughter. Hands embracing, they took the corner towards their third-story
home.