Regina's Bad Day

Honey go get the milk from the market It was just an average afternoon when
Reginas mom told her to go get milk. But little did she know that this milk run was
going get a little more interesting. Regina thought this was just going to be another
day. Until she was just walking down the street without a care in the world when she
saw a strange figure up in the sky. Is it a bird? Regina said questionably. Is it a
plane? But it was neither a bird nor a plane. It was a flying ice cream truck hurtling
straight for her. This was the beginning of Reginas bad day. As the ice cream truck
came closer and closer, Regina just stood there in astonishment thinking, Hey,
since when do ice cream trucks fly? Well I should probably get out of the way right
now But she wouldnt move because the sight of a flying ice cream truck had her in
a chocolate fudge swirly trance. Then finally it came crashing down and landed right
on her. Luckily Regina was wearing her mittens. So then the ice cream man said in a
Swedish accent, does anybody want a chocolate swirl?So then he drove away and
Regina was stunned on the ground. She thought her bad day was over, but that was
just the beginning. As she lay there unable to move she thought, I cant believe I
lived through that. But then, she heard a vibration in the ground. She thought it
was an earthquake, but instead it was just a wagon. But it wasnt just an ordinary
wagon, this wagon had barbed wire wheels and it was transporting lemonade and
salt. Regina thought the wagon was going to stop for her, but they didnt and
Regina got violently pricked and poked with barbed wire. And after the wagon
passed over her, it stopped, and she heard a voice say, bill, drop the load! And
they dropped all of their salt and lemonade right on Regina. Then they backed up
and ran her over an again, then took off. After that she was sure this bad day was
over, but she was still wrong. Then some small children came by, saw Regina, and
said, Lets throw her off a cliff! one of the children said. So that what they did,
they dragged her up to the tallest cliff in the world and looked down. There was a
canyon with three areas. One was a drop into extremely sharp, jagged rocks.
Another was the broken glass factory. And the last one was the comfortable pillow
and mattress store. But there was one other choice: the gorge with insanely sharp
rocks lining the walls and the floor in every square inch of the chasm, filled with
mountains of broken glass broken glass and that was all sitting in a pool of piranhas
and electric eels. Lets throw her into that last canyon, one of the kids said,
alright, lets do it, the rest of them said excitingly. So they threw her down, but
they missed and she was heading straight toward the pillow and mattress store. So
Regina delighted to land there said ha-ha suckers. But just then the joker came
swinging on a vine and grabbed her and flung her into the really dangerous chasm.
Two hours later after being waked by the wall spikes on the way down, she finally
landed in the last chasm and almost got eaten alive by all the deadly stuff down
there. But then a stroke of luck hit her. After five hours down there, batman came
and threw is bat grapple hook right threw Reginas stomach and violently yanked
her back up. And after five-hundred yanks and with every one getting waked by a
sharp, jagged rock, he finally got her up. Thank you Batman. youre welcome
Regina, now, come back to the bat cave for some tea. But you cant know where the
bat cave is so I am going to have to knock you out. So Batman knocked Regina into
a coma by hitting her with the bat sledge hammer, (witch really wasnt anything
more than a sledge hammer with the bat sign on it). So batman then jumped in his
bat mobile and Regina could not fit in it so he just closed the door on her hand and
she was being dragged throughout the bumpy dessert. And then batman decided to

take the scenic which went through the cactus farm, the cheese grader factory, and
the hook convention. So after miles and miles of driving where Regina got hurt
badly every bump batman went on, they finally made it to the bat cave. So batman
woke Regina up by pouring boiling water all over her. Were here said batman
what happened to my leg and arm? Regina said. Its better you dont know.
Wilfred, get Miss Regina some hot tea right away sir when Wilfred came back he
poured the hot tea all over Regina and then dragged her across the crusty, chewing
gum covered floor into the bat cannon and shot her out. Good job Wilfred. Where
did you fire her anyway? The den of the roughest, toughest, most blood thirsty
bears in the world. And they hate people so much meanwhile, Regina flew right the
bear den, but they were not just ordinary bears, they were dangerously ticked off,
grizzly bears protecting their sacred honey. And the last guy who just looked it the
sacred honey general direction got torn apart by the bears and his skeleton is now
hanging on a tree. So then as Regina fell into their sacred honey, they tour Regina
to shreds, then after she finals got away from them, she was still covered with
honey. And because of that honey, a giant swarm of hornets attacked and she
puffed up like a watermelon. So then after miles of walking, she came into a junky
looking area. So she stepped stood on an area with an X on it. She looked up and
saw a, round, shiny, metal object above her. Thats when she realized that this was
a junk yard, that was magnet, and that she had a metal plate in her head. The
magnet then picked her up, and carried her over an conveyor belt type machine,
and dropped her on. This machine was moving right into the crusher. She got
crushed up and down and left and right numerous times. And as the machine
moved her forward, it dropped her in a pit of spinning cylinders that had razor sharp
spikes on it. Somewhat like a pencil sharpener but bigger and a lot more painful. It
ate her up and spat her back out into a small, dark room, with holes in it which
looked as if it had been burned. She pressed her face against the opening to look
inside. She saw a light that seemed to get closer and closer every second. It was
then that she realized that this was the incinerator. And before she could do
anything, flames, as fast as lightning, shot out of the opening and insanely burned
Regina. Then the floor opened up and she fell to the ground. Just then a mountain of
Junkers piled right on top of her, breaking almost every remaining bone in her body.
It was then when a pack of rabid raccoons saw Regina and dragged her back to
their nest. When they got to the nest, all the other raccoons started feeding on her
hair. When they were finished they threw her off a cliff into a factory that looked like
it was a bomb factory where she detonated almost all of their bombs. She very
carefully proceeded out of the factory without tripping any of the touch sensitive
bombs. But sure enough she did and went flying through the air and landed next to
an old, rundown barn with a sign reading The Tough Tavern. So she went in and
saw a bunch of muscular tough guys who looked like they wanted to hurt her. They
were showing signs of it too, like; they were punching their palm and were growling
viscously. Then they made a circle around her and one of the guys said, look guys,
its the new meat. So Regina tried to run away but was blocked by the circle of
tough guys. So then they gave her the pummeling of her life by doing everything
you can imagine. They punched her, kicked her, and even threw her at stuff. They
also hit her with stuff like, fire extinguishers, splintery boards, and even televisions.
Then they just threw her on the ground where their viscous bobcats tour her to
pieces. And after two hours of being practically eaten alive by bobcats, the guys
threw her outside where she got run over by twelve trains. And while she was
getting brutally trampled by these trains, her underwear got caught on the front of

the last train and, gave her the most painful atomic wedgey of her life. And she was
being dragged throughout the train tracks and got badly injured by the tracks
because they were made with razors on the sides to keep the train on course. Then
the train came to a sudden stop right in the middle of a bridge of tracks over a
canyon. And because of that sudden stop, Regina flew right into the windshield of
the train and was just sticking there like a bug. Then, she heard rumbling. And then,
in the distance, she saw another train, and this other train was on a collision course
at a speed of mach six, coming straight for her. So she tried to run, but she was
stuck on the train. So then the other train crashed right into the train she was on
and she was sandwiched between the two trains, then the two trains exploded and
sent Regina plummeting into the canyon. Luckily for her, there was water down
there. So she landed in the water, and it was then that she realized that this wasnt
water. It was gasoline. So she looked up and saw a tiny piece of flaming leaf gently
floating down. And the second that teeny tiny spark of fire touched the gasoline,
that canyon lit up like the fourth of July. And because of that massive explosion,
there was a big hole in the ground that Regina fell into. She then went into the lair
of the mole people. When the mole people saw her, the beat her up, then tied her to
a rocket where she went flying all the way to Mars. When the aliens saw her they
said, We are the aliens that hiss and were going to get you. HSSSSSSSSSS! So
Regina then ran, but then fell into the dangerously corrosive acid crater where she
got burned beyond compare. Then the aliens took her out and hung her over a pit
full of poisonous pythons, black widows and scorpions. Then they cut her loose and
she fell in the pit and the snakes, spiders and scorpions attacked her very fiercely.
Then when the aliens were finished with her, they shot her off their planet and back
to earth with their rocket ship. But little did she know that this rocket ship had an
atom bomb inside it and when she landed, it exploded. The explosion was so strong
it sent her up so high that she intercepted a space lazar that was set on hyper
death. Then she went plummeting back down so fast that she was creating a trail of
flames behind her. Some people thought she was a new comet. And then she
landed into the sewers. Then the sewers lines led her strait into central pluming
system and got shot backed up in the pipes and got shot out of the ground and
ended up right at her front door. She looked like somebody just turned her inside
out and removed most of her bones and eternal organs. Then, the door opened and
it was her mom. Looking as if she had just seen a ghost she said, O MY GOD,
REGINA!!!!!!!! Where is the milk? Then Regina spontaneously combusted.