Blair 1

Brianna Blair
Ann Stawski
UWRT 1102
March 23, 2015
Why Are Healthy Relationships Important?
Relationships are critical in everyday life. Learning how to build relationships with others
is an important aspect of life, however, not all relationships are healthy. Some relationships are
strictly unhealthy. For example, two best friends are in a serious romantic relationship, but both
are cheating on each other. Even though the relationship is serious, someone has to end it
because it is obvious they have fallen out of love. Once they get involved in an unhealthy
relationship, it can be very difficult to walk away. History repeats itself is an everyday phrase
that applies to different situations including relationships because once they get involved in an
unhealthy relationship, they will most likely get involved again. Maintaining healthy
relationships with their friends and family is important because they provide stability and
support, improve their health and without them they can develop major social problems.
Imagine going through life without anyone providing stability and support for them. It
probably would be really difficult to achieve their goals and they would constantly feel alone.
According to Nancy Brown, from Palo Alto Medical Foundation said having healthy
relationships with family members is both important and difficult. She defines family as a
domestic group of people with some degree of kinship, whether it is blood, marriage or adoption.
Families come in many different circumstances and sizes, like divorced parents, only one parent,
four siblings or no siblings, regardless all families have their ups and downs. Often families
become blocked in their relationships by hurt, anger, mistrust, and confusion. These are natural

Blair 2

and normal emotions because all families have their issues that they need to work through and
usually the biggest issue is divorce. Brown believes that by looking at the world and certain
situations in different ways, it can create more stable and happy relationships between families
and friends. Families need to be sources of lifelong support and strength for all individuals. It is
easier to move throughout life when there is a strong support system helping along the way.
Strong and stable support systems makes achieving goals seem effortless and more attainable.
Family and friends are great support systems because when something goes wrong, there is
always people that love them to turn to for help. Being able to look up to family and friends
when they are feeling down or just when they need someone to talk to is what makes maintaining
healthy relationship with both of them so important.
Brown also believes that it is never too late to try and improve family communication
and relationships. Family is constantly present in their life, so when a conflict arises it seems
harder to solve. They may be harder to solve because the people they love the most are the same
ones that also hurt them the most. If they do not get in a fight every once in a while with their
family and friends, their relationship is slightly unhealthy. It is unhealthy to never fight with the
people they love and care about. They are supposed to fight with the people they love, because it
is impossible to always agree with everything they say or do. Building trust and respect will help
improve any problems within a family and a friendship. Trust is defined as a measure of belief in
honesty, fairness, or benevolence with another party. It is not always easy to trust someone new
and let them in. Family may be easier to trust than friends only because they were born into their
family, they do not really have a choice in the beginning, whereas they get to choose the people
they become friends with. Trust is a big factor that will help maintain a stable and supporting
relationship because once they fully trust someone they will fully accept their guidance.

Blair 3

Surprisingly, maintaining healthy relationships with family and friends can improve their
health. Friends are there throughout the good and the bad, so they prevent loneliness and provide
companionship. They also boost happiness while reducing stress, improving self- confidence
along with self-worth and coping with traumas. Some studies have found that people who enjoy
close support from friends and family generally have fewer inflammatory chemicals in their
blood. Good friends also encourage others to change or avoid unhealthy behaviors like drinking
and smoking. According to an Australian study conducted by the Centre for Ageing Studies at
Flinders University, good friends help them live longer because those who had a larger network
of friends outlived those with fewer friends by 22%. Friends encourage others to take better care
of themselves and people with social networks have higher self-esteem and feel like they have
more control over their lives. A study of more than 28,000 men published in 2002 found that the
ones without strong social ties were nearly 20% more likely to die within 10 years, regardless of
their health or occupation.
It takes effort to develop and maintain healthy friendships because friends grow apart due
to changes in their lives or interests. They will encounter many different people throughout their
life, but they will not always stay in their life for numerous reasons. Some friends may backstab
them socially, treat them badly, or even move away. All of these factors are out of their control,
unfortunately that is life and we all have to deal with losing and gaining new friends. Some
believe that they need a lot of friends to be happy, but in reality, quality counts more than
quantity. Most would rather have a few really close, loyal friends than a group of friends that all
talk trash behind each others backs. If their friends are constantly talking trash about each other
to one another, their friendship is very unhealthy. Both unhappiness and happiness stream from
one friend to another so the best kinds of friends to surround themselves with are people that are

Blair 4

constantly happy, supportive and encouraging. Being surrounded by unhappy friends can really
bring someone else down because their friends have a major impact on their mood. If all of their
friends are extremely depressed, after hanging out with them for an extended period of time, they
will eventually become extremely depressed. A research study found that the smaller their
network of friends, the higher their morality rate.
Although maintaining relationships is crucial, they are also a source of stress. Julianne
Holt-Lunstad, PhD, an assistant professor of psychology at Brigham Young University found out
that dealing with people who arouse conflicted feelings raises blood pressure more than dealing
with disliked people. They will be even more stressed if their friends constantly have a lot of
ongoing drama because then they have to deal with all the repercussions. Even if the drama has
nothing to do with them, they will most likely find themselves getting involved. Friends have a
way of involving other people into their arguments and disagreements which typically makes
matters worse. In general, women are better at maintaining friendships than men because women
respond to stress by protecting, nurturing and seeking support from others. Male friendships lean
more towards companionship and altruism. Womens friendships have more emotional content,
such as listening to their friends stories and coming up with helpful solutions. Giving support to
a friend may be just as good for a persons well-being and health as receiving it. The best part
about friendship is that it is a two-way street meaning it brings happiness both ways.
According to the National Institute of Health, it is normal for everyone to occasionally
feel sad/blue, but it usually passes within a couple of days. If they do not maintain healthy
relationships with their loved ones, feeling blue can persist and it is likely they will develop
serious social disorders. Depression, a common, but serious illness can interfere with a persons
daily life and causes pain for that person and the people that care about them. There are several

Blair 5

forms of depressive disorders and the most common ones are major depression or persistent
depressive disorder. Major depression interferes with the ability to work, sleep, study, eat and
sometimes occurs only once, but usually occurs several times within their life. Persistent
depressive disorder lasts for at least two years with symptoms of major depression, but less
severe. Genetic, biological, environmental and psychological factors are the main causes of
depression. Some tend to run in families, but it also occurs in people without family histories of
depression. Healthy relationships with family and friends will help dissolve these disorders
because there will always be someone to vent and talk to rather than bottling up all the emotions.
Their loved ones will help the best they can with their companionship and love. It is unhealthy to
enclose all their emotions because it causes people to become more aggressive. For example, if
they do not react to a difficult boss at work, they might go home that night and yell at their
children. Those who bottle up their emotions project them later on to the wrong people which
causes conflicts between the people they care about. They must let out their emotions somehow
by talking to a therapist, their family/friends or even screaming into a pillow.
Becoming diagnosed with depression at a young age can affect their future as well.
Children with depression will pretend to be sick, refuse to go to school, and will worry that their
parents will die. These symptoms usually continue into their adult life especially without
treatment. Many people with a depressive illness never seek treatment, but the majority, even
with the most severe depression, can get better with treatment. There are many different ways to
treat depression depending on the patient and the severity such as psychotherapy and different
medicines. Trauma, loss of a loved one, a difficult relationship or any stressful situation triggers
a depressive episode. Healthy relationships can greatly reduce the risk of developing major
depression issues, however, not all relationships stay healthy. Some can start off healthy and turn

Blair 6

toxic or unhealthy, while others are toxic from the beginning. Thomas Cory from Healthscope
Magazine believes human beings want to be emotionally and physically close to each other,
however, no area of human endeavor has as many challenges and difficult situations like
relationships. Relationships, like most things in life worth having, require effort, according to
Cory. People need to learn how to accommodate and adapt to others faults, moods and
lifestyles. Some relationships have more arguments and disagreements, while others do not. It is
important to look for signs of a toxic relationship in the beginning to avoid the pain and fear it
causes.
Toxic relationships contain dangerous characteristics from one partner that are
emotionally and physically damaging to their other partner. Not all toxic relationships are
hopeless, but it is very difficult to turn them into healthy relationships. Toxic relationships are
not safe and they damage self-esteem and drains energy. Insecurity, self- centeredness,
dominance, and control are some of the many factors of a toxic relationship. Toxic partners
usually engage in inappropriate, controlling and manipulative behaviors on a daily basis. A toxic
individual must have complete control and all the power in their relationship. That is the
complete opposite of a healthy relationship because the power should be shared equally and
fairly among both individuals. The most common reason why relationships become toxic is
because one of the partners do not believe they are lovable or that anyone will want to meet their
needs. Cory disagrees with toxic relationships and strongly considers a relationship that involves
physical violence or substance abuse, requires immediate intervention and separation between
the two partners. Maintaining healthy relationships is very important because some toxic
relationships become so dangerous where someone ends up getting seriously injured.

Blair 7

All in all, maintaining healthy relationships is very beneficial. It provides them with
lifelong happiness and companionship from the people they love. Not only that, but these
relationships provide stability and support, improves their health and reduces the chances of
developing major social disorders and toxic relationships. It is very difficult to go through life
completely alone. Humans are meant to be social because it is their nature to want to build
strong, healthy relationships with other individuals. Continue maintaining healthy relationships
and the rest of life will fall into place.

Blair 8

Works Cited
"Adult Health." Friendships: Enrich Your Life and Improve Your Health. Web. 5 Apr. 2015.
<http://www.mayoclinic.org/>
Brown, Nancy. "Family." Healthy Relationships. Web. 6 Apr. 2015. < http://www.pamf.org/>
"Depression." NIMH RSS. Web. 5 Apr. 2015. <http://www.nimh.nih.gov/>
"Toxic Relationships." HealthScope RSS2. 9 Jan. 2012. Web. 6 Apr. 2015.
<http://www.healthscopemag.com/>
"Trust (social Sciences)." Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation. Web. 5 Apr. 2015.
<http://en.wikipedia.org/>
Valeo, Tom. "Health Benefits of Good Friends." WebMD. WebMD. Web. 5 Apr. 2015.
<http://www.webmd.com/>
Woolston, Chris. "Health Benefits of Friendship." Health Benefits of Friendship. Web. 26 Apr.
2015. <http://consumer.healthday.com/>