and recommended paychiatrc consultation, ‘This boy at the age of
‘ine was dealing wilh deprivation belonging fo an ear sige and
‘nt he needed was a pei at home: Hl fay had bec rex
United snd ths had geen him anew hop. I found thatthe boy bad
‘een under a compalson tp weal hearing 4 voi chat ordered ist
bout the voice ofa wizard At home be Became linn depen:
ent entre, apathetic His parents met he nec and alowed’
‘eel te heen they were read by hs aking a sontanenue
Fecovery Alte sear he was able to return to hoardings, and
tie reonery has rove ob ang oe
“would have been ey to have diverted thie boy fom the path
that led to his recovery. He was of course enauare ofthe noterable
fonetnes abd empinas tht ly a he back of hile, aod which
mace him adopt the wizard im place of 8 more natural pete
‘reapiation ts Inelnes belonged to tine of eparaion om bit
family when he was five. Ihe had been thrashed otf the headmaster
‘ad tld him that he eaght fo feel wicked, he would Rave hardened
Up and organized 2 fuller Wentication withthe wierd: he would
eg hae becape nineeig and dent and eves an nt
‘eel penton. This isa common type of eae in rl psyeiatey, and T
‘oss ey beater ple ae anderen an be
Inade wit fr further decals (Winniot, 1958).
We cannot hope to cure many of thote who have become
delinquent, but we ean hope to understand how to prevent the
development ofthe antisocial tendency. We can atleast avoid
incrmpng te devopng roy tegen mother apd
Alo, applying thee principles tothe ordinary npbringny
of chikren we caste the need or some sete in manage,
tment where the child's own guiltsense i sll primitive and
rude; by limited. prokibitont we give opportunity for tat
limited raughtiness which we call heathy, sad which contaas
mich of the cis spontaneity.
“More than anyone eh it was Freud who paved the way for
the pndertanding of aici Behaviour anf ere 8
sequel to en unconscious criminal {nention, and a symptom of
falar in child-care. T suggest that inputting forward theve eas
and showing how we can tet them and use them Freud has made
= conrbtln 0 Socal prycholoy which ean have farenhang
bab Wace
2
THE CAPACITY TO BE ALONE?
(1958)
{Lwsh fo make an examination ofthe capacity of the individual
fo be alone, acting on the awumpiion that this capacity is one of
theimost important sges of matty in emotional development.
Sn almost all our poycho-analye treatments here come ies
when the ability to be alone i important tothe patient. Cli
lly this taay be sepeeented bya stent phase or silem
Silo, and this lence, far from being evidence of reistance,
farms Gut to bean achiévment on the part ofthe patient. Per”
taps es here tae the patent hasbeen able tobe alone forthe
fiex time, Its to this aspect of the tanserence in which the
patient i alone in the analytic senion that T wish (0 Graw
Sei probab ® ho-analytia i
in probably true to say cat in paycho-analyticliterature
more hs been witen on the for of Beng sion o the wk to be
lone than onthe ably to beslone; als a considerable amount
Stwork hat been done on the withdrawn sate, a defensive
‘Srganization implying an expectation of persecution. Te would
ce ome hata diction on the ante aspets ofthe capacity
to be sone is overdue. In the htcratre thee may be specie
temps fo tte the eapacty tobe alone, but Iam not aware of
these wish to mae reference wo Freud’ (1914) concept ofthe
snevlierdatonp (ck Winaicrt, 19568).
Th nd Tay Btn
Tih ete of tng nm
etn ral atin te neon
Seige a niga ney Sein
SESE LG io eps ee le
Sip ican fie rhe OP Rees
Sees, Rs me Bt MS
Sher alge tee Ea i a
See tnd eee moe
THOUS i hy op oe’ snd
aot econ yee Sr oe
Soares eA
amatop ec
|and moulded into the idea ofa father. The Klein concept of the
{depresve position ean be desribed interme of two-body rela
tionships and itt pechaps true to say that a wrosbody relation:
ship ian essential feature of the concept.
‘After: thinking in terms of three= and two-body relatonshipe,
Dhow natural chat one should go a nage further Back and speak
ofa one-body relationship! At fst it would seem that marisa
Wwould be te’ one-body relationship, either an early form of
Secondary narcisism or primary narcssm ieelt Tam suggesting
that this jump from two-body relationships to a one-body elas
tionship cannot, in fact, be made without violation of « great
eal thar we know througls our analtie work and through direct
‘observation of mothers and infant.
Aétully Beng Aloe
will be appreciated that actually to be alone is not what 1
am discussing. A person may bein solitary confinement, and yet
fot be able to be alone. How greatly he must sufer i beyond
Inagntion, However, many Feopl do become abet eniny
solitude before they are out of cildboad, and they ray even
Value solitude as a most presiows poression,
‘The capacity to be alone is either a highly sophisticated
phenomenon, one that may ative in a person's development
‘fer the establishment of three-body relationships, or ele its
Phenomenon of early life which deserves special dy beeause it
{5 the foundation on which sophisticated alonenes f bul
Perales
“The main point of this contribution can now be sated, Ale
though many! types of experience goto the establishment of the
capacity to be done, there i one that io bau, and vathout =
tyobe alone does not come about
at nln ond mal ch nto
fas the beara he capaci wo be alone bs paca
Wig the experience ot bamng ose White TomneORe cacTe peer
FHiere is implied rather special type of telationhip, that
beta thet cal cl wh ln ade eter
(or motheraubste who i in fact relay present even if repre
‘ented for the moment by a ot or pram or the geneal atmo
Sphere of the immediate environment L would ike to suggest
name for this petal type of relationship.
‘Personally Tike to ie the term aurdatedns, which i one
venient in that it contrasts rather Clearly with the word id=
‘latnsip, which a recuring complication in what tight be
‘THE CAPACITY TO BE ALONE (1958) o
called ego life, Ego-relatedness refers to the relationship berween
fo people, one of whom at any rates alone; perhaps both are
lone, yt the presence ofeach is important tothe oer. T cone
Sider that if one compares the meaning of the word “ike! with,
that of the word love one can see that king ia matter of
feitedues, wheres lving i more a mater of -elatonships
tithe ene o in sublinated form as
‘Before developing there ewo ideas in my own way I with to
remind you how ic would be posible to refer tothe eapacty to
be alone in wel-worn psychoranalyic phraseology.
Mr Inecounse
tis perhaps hr to vy dat ater satisfactory intercourse each
anes alone snd is contented tobe alone Being able to exjoy
Being alone along with another person who js ao alone isin
itelf an experience of health, Tack of id-ension may produce
nat, but ine integration of penalty enable te ated
SHErg obtaae, Cat tosay solide Tat relate
Sahay ae all he
Prinal Sexe
could be said that an individual's capacity to be alone
depends on his ability to deal with the felines aroused by the
primal scene, In the primal scene an excited elaionship between
the parent i perceived or imagined, and this is accepted by the
child who fs Healthy and who is able to master the hate and (0
he in he es of masturbation In martin he
Sok, forthe concious and unconscious fantasy is
eee clans Gil who the rd penon at
Three body or tiangsla relationship. To beable toe alone in
thee ceanante imple a may of rote development,
ital potency or the coresponding female accepanees it
Finplies fusion af the aggresive and erotie impulses and ideas,
fand it implies tolerance of ambivalene; along with all thit
there woul naturally bea capacity onthe part ofthe individual
to ideniy with each of the parent
‘Astatement in these ora terms could ecome almost inne
itely complex, because the capacity to be alone {3 60 nearly
tynonymous with emotional matuet.
Goud Intel Objet
Twill sw atempt to wie another language, one that derives
fiom’ the work of Mlanie Risin, The eapsciy to be alone
|2 ‘THE MATURATIONAL PROCESSES
depends on the extence of end oben the eye eaty
ofthe indisdeak fssood itera! Bee or pot othe god
{luenalrelaonships are well enough set op and defended for
the individ (at any rte forthe ume beg) to fel conden
‘Bout the pest Sth fre: Thm patho he ine
‘ul toh or her internal object slong with Confidence in
rd fo interalrlaontip, provides ofa a sufitency ef
ining ao that cmporaiy eof abelg able oven contented ern
‘nh aces of etrnal iets and smu, Marty a the
‘xpacty to be lone ples thatthe individual has bad the
‘hance throogh good-enough mothering fo bald up abel in
benign environment. Tis beets bul up through repetition
Tanttatory ional graeations,
Tn this language one inde one cerrng to an cares tage
ip the individuals development than that at which the cased
‘Gesipur complex bods sway, Nevertheless a considerable degree
‘tego maturity s being trtimed: The integration ofthe n=
dla nto aut aout, herve there would be no tegen
‘aking reference to the inde tnd the outside Orin giving
spesienne he antay af tedennegase te
iEeze mast be a relative eno fom pescttory ana. In
Drntve terms the god internal objects ar in the india s
Foal nes wl and se ale for pjecton a 8
To be Alone in ox Inmate Sate
“The question which wil be aed at this point this: Can 9