Laurie Burgess

Professor Sipin
English 211C
January 19, 2015

I am Me

For me, I always identified myself with my mother and her family. My father and his
family were not a part of my life. Once my parents were divorced, he and his family
disowned us. This caused me a lot of bitterness in my teenage years. That is why I have
not included that much information on my father and his family.
I was born to Mary Walker, a devout catholic woman, on a breezy, fall day. I was the
sixth of eight children. She was married for twenty years to the same man. He is not
important to my siblings or me because he chose to leave us a long time ago. However, I
will admit that because of my mother and her determination to survive without him, this
allowed me to be a strong and independent woman.
My mother was the fourth of five children born to Robert and Pearl Mounie. Robert
and Pearl were devout Roman Catholics who instilled into their children that human
compassion and hardworking ethics is what made you who you are. They provided their
children with a warm and compassionate home. They were not rich by any standard but
my mother and her siblings were well loved.
My mother and her family are of French, English and Irish descent. Apparently my
ancestors came over by boat in the late 17th or early 18th century. Our ancestors settled in
Portsmouth, VA, which is a small city in Southeast Virginia. A majority of my mothers
family have been employed with the Norfolk Naval Shipyard for decades. A lot of them

have retired or will retire from the shipyard.

My mother dropped out of Saint Pauls Catholic High School when she was sixteen
years old. She had met my father and decided to marry him. She will tell you to this day
that she was extremely nave. She thought all men were like her father and brother.
Unfortunately that was not the case in regard to my father. By the time my mother had
me she was twenty-four years old with six children. By the time my father left our lives
she would have eight children. Raising eight children was a struggle for my mother. She
worked hard to provide her children with a stable home. She began to work at Norfolk
Naval Shipyard as an insulator when I was seven years old. I did not understand the
importance of this job. My older siblings became my primary caregiver. When I was
thirteen years old my mother asked my father to move out. He did so reluctantly at first.
My siblings and I were not upset by this decision. He had been missing from our lives
long before this. He was an alcoholic and a womanizer who would disappear for weeks
at a time. I also met the boy who would one day be my husband. I did not know that at
the age of twelve that the cute fourteen year old boy that I had a crush on would one day
ask me to marry him. But that is another story.
My family settled into a two-story home in the Highland Biltmore section of
Portsmouth. I graduated from Cradock High School a long time ago. Actually, it really
just seems like yesterday. I did not have pleasant school years. By the time we had
settled into the Cradock School District, I had already attended eight different schools in
two different cities. Our father had moved us around a lot until I was twelve. It was not
until my mother was able to save enough money on her own to buy a house that I finally
felt stability. My high school years were uneventful. I did not date a lot. I was shy and
awkward around boys and did not trust them. I knew that one day I would have to come
to terms with my issues with my father. But by the time I graduated from high school I
was not ready to deal with these issues.

By the time I began college at Tidewater Community College I was thrilled with the
prospect of experiencing the world with a new outlook on life. Unfortunately, I would
not have this opportunity. During my second year at TCC I became ill. I had caught a
nasty case of strep throat. After taking antibiotics for three months, I developed a rash on
95% of my body. This caused me to drop out of school. I went to numerous doctors to
find out what was wrong and after several years of misdiagnoses I was finally diagnosed
with Systemic Lupus Erythematous. (Aka: Lupus/SLE) For those who have not heard of
Lupus, it is an autoimmune disease similar to Rheumatoid Arthritis. This diagnosis
would mark the beginning of a twenty year journey for me. Not only health wise but also
in my personal life as well. I had recently turned twenty and was recuperating from
another bout of Strep Throat. It was January 2 of 1987 and my friends were taking me
out to celebrate the New Year. This night would change my life in ways that I never
dreamed. This is when I reunited with my high school crush, Bob Burgess. Except this
time, I was all grown up. I have never forgotten this night and I can still recall what each
of us was wearing. To me, this night will always be remembered as a new beginning for
me. It was then that I realized that not all men were like my father. I had grown up
believing that all men were just like my father and that you were not able to trust them.
Bob and I have been together for twenty-eight years. We were married on August 2,
1992. Even though we have had our ups and downs, our love and respect for one another
has kept us strong. We were never able to have children of our own due to my health
issues, but we have never lacked of children in our lives. We have twenty-six nieces and
nephews between the two of us. This does not include the seven great-grandchildren that
my mother has or the two great-grandchildren on Bobs side of the family.
On another note, my fathers family is extremely large as well. He was the youngest
of fifteen children. His family was of English and Irish descent. This is basically all I
know of my father and his family. They ceased all communications with my family when

I was a younger.
I realize that even though I identify with my mother and her family, I do know that the
abandonment issues I had as a child has steered me onto a path of independence. It still
steers me to do this day. I no longer feel the bitterness I had for my father which held me
back from having a relationship with a man.
Bob and I have currently live in Portsmouth in a small two bedroom home. We have
two miniature dachshunds and two cats. We enjoy taking trips to the Outer Banks as
often as we can.

Even though being in school full-time has cut back on those trips. The

older I have gotten the more I realize that I am just like my mother.