Statement of Purpose Berkeley

by Craig Reeves

FILE

MOODLE_T EMP_T URNIT INT OOL_1481295956._17666_1423113552_24

7201.DOC (30K)

T IME SUBMIT T ED

04-FEB-2015 09:19PM

WORD COUNT

1250

SUBMISSION ID

501827696

CHARACT ER COUNT

6046

combine these 2
sentences

name the
group?

name the
program

scholars or researchers

best to stick with

one or two
examples to
develop fully
and clearly.
fused sentences

looks like you

need to
proofread more
carefully?
again, choose 1-2 examples.

name one in
your thesis

your early Ps, in which you describe your research and that of
specific scholars at Berkeley, are good beginnings. Develop
these, and minimize the speculative Ps that begin to water down
your purpose.

Statement of Purpose Berkeley

GRADEMARK REPORT
FINAL GRADE

GENERAL COMMENTS

82

Instructor

/100

PAGE 1

QM

Commonly Conf used

Commonly Conf used Words:
Words that have similar sounds but dif f erent meanings of ten cause trouble f or student writers.
Please watch f or such conf usions in your writing.
Some of the more common of these common conf usions include:
Accept (to receive) and except (to leave out)
Af f ect (toinf luence) and ef f ect (result or to accomplish)
Allusion (an indirect ref erence) and illusion (a f alse perception)
Its (possessive f orm of "it") and it's (contraction of "it is")
T heir (possessive f orm of "they"), there (indication of location, and they're (contraction of
"they are")
T hen (next or at that time) and than (used in comparisons)
T o (toward), too (also or excessively) , and two (number)
Your (possessive f orm of "you") and you're (contraction of "you are")

Text Comment.
QM

combine these 2 sentences

||
Problem in Parallel Form:
Coordinate ideas should be expressed in parallel f orm. All expressions that are similar in
content and f unction should be expressed similarly.

Text Comment.
QM

name the group?

word choice
Look up this word, you'll f ind it doesn't mean what you--or spell check--did.

Text Comment.
QM

name the program

word choice
Look up this word, you'll f ind it doesn't mean what you--or spell check--did.

Text Comment.
QM

scholars or researchers

Unclear
Your construction of this sentence clouds your meaning.

QM

Pro
Check all your pronouns. If it's not obvious to whom they ref er, make it obvious by using
specif ic noun again.

PAGE 2

QM

Text Comment.

best to stick with one or two examples to develop f ully and clearly.

Text Comment.

f used sentences

||
Problem in Parallel Form:
Coordinate ideas should be expressed in parallel f orm. All expressions that are similar in
content and f unction should be expressed similarly.

QM

Text Comment.

looks like you need to proof read more caref ully?

Text Comment.

again, choose 1-2 examples.

Show Don't Tell

Can you show your reader this is true, rather than just saying it's true?

Text Comment.
Text Comment.

name one in your thesis

your early Ps, in which you describe your research and that of specif ic
scholars at Berkeley, are good beginnings. Develop these, and minimize the speculative Ps that
begin to water down your purpose.

RUBRIC: 36 3 SOP RUBRIC

RHET . FOCUS (25%)

8 2 / 10 0

85 / 100

Write f ormally and inf ormally, in-class and out-of -class, f or a variety of audiences and purposes.
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASIC
(60)
DEVELOPING
(70)
PROFICIENT
(85)
ADVANCED
(100)

PERSUASION (30%)

85 / 100

Compare, evaluate, synthesize, and communicate caref ully, objectively, and persuasively the relative merits
of alternative or opposing arguments, assumptions, and cultural values. Integrate this evaluative work into
a persuasive argument.
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASIC
(60)
DEVELOPING
(70)
PROFICIENT
(85)
ADVANCED
(100)

ORGANIZ AT ION (25%)

85 / 100

Organize, f ocus, and communicate ones thoughts clearly and ef f ectively to address a rhetorical situation.
Employ IMRAD organizational pattern where appropriate.
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASIC
(60)
DEVELOPING
(70)
PROFICIENT
(85)
ADVANCED

(100)

LANG & DESIGN (20%)

70 / 100

Recognize, evaluate, and employ the f eatures and contexts of language and design that express and
inf luence meaning and that demonstrate sensitivity to gender and cultural dif f erences.
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASIC
(60)
DEVELOPING
(70)
PROFICIENT
(85)
ADVANCED
(100)