Running head: Exploring causes and effects of online dating

Exploring Causes and Effects of Online Dating

Heather L. Bohnen
College of DuPage

Exploring causes and effects of online dating

Abstract
Online dating continues to grow throughout the 21st century. This paper examines
statistics of online dating and the use of online relationship tools. In addition, the paper explores
perceptions and attitudes about online relationships. Findings include a variety of motivations
and uses of online dating and tools.

Exploring causes and effects of online dating

Exploring Causes and Effects of Online Dating

It has become more common these days to say that you have met your spouse or
significant other from an online dating website or from a mobile database. Valkenburg and Peter
(2007) stated that in the past few years the opportunities in forming and maintaining an online
relationship has multiplied. Yet, a stigma still exists concerning dangers and detriments with
online relationships. This paper examines statistics of online dating and the use of online
relationship tools. In addition, the paper explores perceptions and attitudes about online
relationships. Findings include:
1) People of all age groups engage in some level of online relationships or tool
experimentation.
2) People engage in these activities with the intent of finding and building a committed
relationship.
3) People also engage in these activities for causal romantic encounters.
4) Finally, people also use these activities to engage in virtual relationship play.
Who Uses Online Dating?
In the past 2 years the number of people using online dating sites has increased 17%
across the worlds. About 37% of the single American Internet users who have been looking for a
romantic partner have gone to some sort of dating website. The internet has become the fourth
most popular dating strategy in finding a romantic partner. Work/school is 38%, Family/friends
are 34% and Nightclubs/bars/cafs, or other social gatherings are 13% (Valkenburg & Peter,
2007).
The burgeoning growth of online dating is composed mainly of young adults. According
to Smith and Duggan (2013), younger adults have said that their relationship began online. 8% of
18-29 year olds that are married had met their partner online compared with 7% of 30-49 year
olds, 3% of 50-64 year olds, and just 1% of those 65 and older.

Exploring causes and effects of online dating

Conflicting Data
Despite the statistics indicating that young adults are the most active users of online
dating sites, other research indicates that mature adults are engaging in the same activities. Age is
a definite factor that effects online dating for people around 40 years of age or older. They are
some of the most active people in the online dating world. A plausible explanation for this
nonlinear age effect is because it becomes difficult for people at this age group to find another
romantic partner in regular atmospheres, so it is easier to turn to the computer for help. Usually
people at this age range are divorced and usually have to combine children with their busy
career. The divorcees are three times more likely to use a dating site than the average internet
user. The divorcees make up 8% of the adult online internet audience; they also represent 27%
of online dating sites (Valkenburg & Peter, 2007).
Gender and Alternative Lifestyle Groups
In a 2012 study about online dating and sexual orientation, four focus groups were run
with 15 participants and they all ranged from ages 18-62. The participants included both users of
both heterosexual and gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender sites. One third of the participants were
male while the women were 2/3. The participants ranged in previous exposure to online dating
sites, the person who had the most experience had been on a site for over 5 years, while 6 people
had not used an online dating site in the year that the study was conducted. The site that is the
most popular was RSVP.com, this site was aimed at a predominantly middle-ages group, and
Lavalife and Red-HotPie came in second to the most popular site used. Those were both aims at
younger, and more sexually people. And only one person had used a personal advert, none used
speed dating. (Best & Delmege, 2012, p. [Page #245)
Negative Aspects of Online Dating

Exploring causes and effects of online dating

More than half of online daters have felt that someone else has really misrepresented
themselves in their online profile. And an even more serious of percentage (28%) of online
dating users has made contact with someone on an app or website that has made them feel like
they were being harassed or made them feel uncomfortable in any way. It is more likely for
women rather than men to of had experienced some form of uncomfortable contact from online
dating sites or apps. Forty-two percent of female online daters have experienced this type of
contact at one point or another, compared with 17% of men. (Smith & Duggan, 2013)
Main Uses of Internet for Relationships
Creepers
Creepers are considered people who do weird things that most people would never
think of doing. Creepers can also be known as stalkers. There are even risks for older women
just as much as younger women. For 59 year old Janet a man had been stalking her. He had
found her records and said that she was easy to find. He used his GPS to find out all about her.
How long she has lived in her house and how much she pays for her property. Somehow he also
knew that she had dogs, so he proceeded to ask if they bite, she then said yes and then asked him
to leave or else she would call the cops. After he left she took down his car registration. Janet
said that she had slept with her phone, dogs, and a big shovel by her side all night. She says that
so far he has never returned. She claimed that he looked up everything on her from Google and
then went to the Real Estate records site and that is how he found her. (Couch, Liamputtong, &
Pitts, 2012, p. [Page #706-707]).
Flirting
It is very common now a days for the younger generation to use online dating sites to flirt
47% of which that do from 18-24 year olds and 40% from ages 25-34 have done it as well.

Exploring causes and effects of online dating

Twenty-one percent of the older generation however ages 45-54 and 15% of 55-64 have used the
internet to look up old flames. 29% of people who use the internet and have had recent dating
experience has gone to an online site in search for information about someone they were or has
been currently dating or about to meet for a first date. This is more than double the 13% of
internet users who did when last asked about this behavior in 2005. (Smith & Duggan, 2013)
Online Long Distance Relationships
Twenty-four percent of people with recent dating experience have used the internet or
email to try and keep their long-distance relationship alive. It is very common with people who
have or still is or was attending college and younger adults as well. (Smith & Duggan, 2013)
Meeting New People
Currently online dating sites have become the most popular place to meet other people.
Usually they are looking for potential romantic partners that are offering an unprecedented level
of access to possible dates that is otherwise not available through traditional means. From a
recent survey that had come out, 40 million single people (out of 54 million) in the US have
signed up for different dating sites such as: Match.com, eHarmony, etc And out of those 40
million people 20% of them are in a current committed romantic relationship. This in fact is way
more than people meeting through friends (Xia, Liu, Sun, & Chen, 2015)
Compatibility
According to Xia, Liu, Sun, and Chen (2015) many of the online dating websites have
provided suggestions on compatible partners that are based on their property matching
algorithms. Unlike the traditional recommendation systems where the only goal is to predict a
users opinion towards different things such as books, movies, or hobbies. It is an important
thing to not only match a person with things that they have in common, but if he/she is also

Exploring causes and effects of online dating

interested in the other user. A successful online dating recommendation system should match
users with mutual interest in each other and hence result in better chances of interactions
between them and improved user satisfaction level.
Dating Anxiety
The individuals, who primarily use the internet for online dating the most, are the ones
who have low dating anxiety. These individuals seem to use the internet to and one of many
vendors to find a potential romantic partner. The result that Valkenburg & Peter, (2007) came up
with is that they concur with a recent series of related studies on the relations between social
personality variables and the use of the internet. Those studies all disconfirm the hypothesis that
people use the internet to compensate for all of the non encounters that people have in the offline
world. Nowadays the internet is so widely used that the online population increasingly
resembles the offline population. This result shows that the pattern that occurs in the offline
world has been increasingly emerging in the online world as well. (Valkenburg & Peter, 2007)
Motivations for Engaging in Online Dating
A reason in which people use and online dating website is because some people are
socially inept, and they have some difficulties in trying to keep a relationship working in the
real world, so they turn to the computer for comfort and friendliness. (Valkenburg & Peter,
2007) Smith and Duggan (2013) [Page #24] has stated that these are the reasons that people go
onto a dating site or app:
Table 1. Motivations for Online Dating.
1.

60% of active online daters say that meeting people who share similar

interests or hobbies is a major reason they use online dating

2.
52% say that meeting people who share your beliefs or values is a major
reason they use online dating

Exploring causes and effects of online dating

3.

46% say that finding someone for a long-term relationship or marriage is a

major reason they use online dating

4.
33% say that having a schedule that makes it hard to meet interesting people
in other ways is a major reason they use online dating
5.
25% say that meeting people who just want to have fun without being in a
serious relationship is a major reason they use online dating
6.
They were also asked the question if they have their profile visible to anyone.
73% said yes and 20% said no. The 20% that said no, their profile is only visible to
certain people
Note. These results are from a study conducted in 2013. Obtained from Smith and Duggan
(2013).

Exploring causes and effects of online dating

Problems with Finding a Soul Mate

One major problem with searching for ones soul mate is that the belief that a partner
must be a soul mate for a romantic relationship to succeed is associated with relationship
dysfunction. Some people think that when there is a first big bump in the road in a relationship
its the usual expectation to get out of the bad situation by leaving because a person thinks that it
will be too hard to work out. But in fact though what the people in the relationship really have to
do is work it out. That is how a relationship can grow strong, by overcoming the challenges that
life has thrown at it. (Finkel, Eastwick, Eastwick, Reis, & Sprecher, 2012)
Mechanics of Online Relationship Tools
There are many different ways to date or build relationships. Best and Delmege (2012)
list an interesting timeline demonstrating the progress of online relationship tools.

Figure 1. List of Relationship Tools from 1605 to 2004. From Best and Delmege (2012).

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Dating apps are a lot more common now (2013), rather back in 2005 when the original
study was held. Apps are very popular for Americans that are in their mid-20-30's. One out of
every ten 25-34 which is 11% has used a dating app. This is double from the ages of 18-25 (5%)
who have used an app. It is also the same for people from the ages of 35-44 (4%) who have used
a dating app as well. After people get into their mid-forties and up it becomes more and more
unlikely for people to use a dating app (Smith & Duggan, 2013).
Social Behaviors Related to Online Relationships
A study was found that 66% of internet users thought that online dating was dangerous.
Forty-three percent of the people who do use an online dating site do agree that is risky and 52%
of online dating users did not think that it was risky. Some of the online daters said that they had
concerns about their safety and the physical risks. It was also said by that searching for online
sex might present risks of unwanted contact, non-consensual behavior and violence. (Couch,
Liamputtong, & Pitts, 2012, p. [Page #699])
Best and Delmege (2012) stated that it should be mandatory for sites to have a
background check before signing up anything. Something could potentially go wrong if people
potentially meet up somewhere in the future.
According to Couch, Liamputtong, and Pitts (2012) in November 2008 to November of
2009 there was a study that was conducted about online dating. In order to be eligible to
participate in this study, individuals had to have been current or former online daters and they
also needed to be available to be interviewed via an instant messaging program or via email. Of
the 29 people that were interviewed all of them said that there were some types of risks of online
dating. The risks that participants identified were risks of lies and deceit, sexual, emotional and

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physical risks, and the risks of encountering dangerous and dodgy people online. And some said
that the internet itself is risky.
Almost all of the participants had raised some type of concerns about people lying online.
It is mostly on the focus of people using inaccurate photos or people lying about their
relationship status. A 38 year old woman named Clare had said that for the most part people are
usually always lying and it is usually men. A lot of men say they are looking for relationships
when in reality all they care and want is sex. . . . People are constantly lying about their age; have
different pictures up or pictures that were taken years ago. People even go as far as lying about if
they are married. They lie about what they do for a living, and if they have children or
not. (Couch, Liamputtong, & Pitts, 2012)
People judge a lot just by the photos. They do not want to wait their time if you do not
have the look that you're looking for. If you do not like the photo then they could just swipe or
click an "x". (Best & Delmege, 2012)
According to Finkel, Eastwick, Eastwick, Reis, and Sprecher (2012) a good outcome
came from a dating website doing a background check. Match.com will not allowed anyone on
the site if they appear on registries of sex offenders.
There is however some positive things about online dating. As said by Smith and
Duggan (2013) 6% of internet users who are in a marriage, partnership, or other committed
relationship met their partner online. This means that it is up from 3% of internet users who said
the same thing in 2005. On an all-adults basis, which means that 5% of all committed
relationships in America today have began online. (Smith & Duggan, 2013)

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Figure 2. Familiarity with Online Dating through Others. From Smith & Duggan, 2013.
Reason for Lying about Appearance
Toma and Hancock, (2012) has stated that there are many concerns about deception
online. Internet deception has been going on forever; it is just as old as the internet. Some of the
concerns have stemmed from disembodied nature for online communication. This allows people
to interact with others via internet/texting but without physical interaction with one another
(meeting and talking in person). With the lack of physicality it leads to people lying about what
they really look like, and this decreases the number of cues people use when trying to detect
deception (eye gazing, fidgeting).
As said by Buller and Burgoon (1996) interpersonal deception theory, one of the main
strategic choices that a liar depends on is the liars' interpersonal goals and the communication of
text. In the online dating profiles the liars are highly motivated to become as attractive and

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trustworthy as possible. And because of the profile self-description it allows them the freedom to
do so. (Toma & Hancock, 2012, p. [Page #82])
Sexual violence is one of the main concerns that everyone, even men have when it comes
to meeting someone online. For Elsie a man had spiked her drink while they had met up at a
dance club because he assumed that she would not "put out", so he thought if he spiked her drink
with something that she would have a different frame of mind sooner or later. (Couch,
Liamputtong, & Pitts, 2012).
Nowadays people are going on to online websites to seek for an intimate relationship.
Because of this some people will fall for anything to be attached to someone. They will believe
almost anything that a man/woman will say, because they want a relationship extremely bad. A
survey of one online dating sites participants found that 86% of people felt others had
misrepresented their physical appearance. Research study that was found in 2001 said that over a
quarter of online dating participants had reported about someone misrepresenting some aspect of
their identity. The most commonly it was either: age (14%), marital status (10%), and appearance
(10%). Many people do not know what to believe because people are constantly lying and
exaggerating about something about them. True.com however conducts background checks on
their users or displays a disclaimer saying that they could do a background check on
anyone. (Ellison, Heino, & Gibbs, 2006, p. [Page #419])
Best and Delmege (2012) as well as Morgan (1997) had asked some questions that people
had no intentions on asking because they were too sensitive. People do not like to answer too
personal of questions because of the fears of rejection and maybe even deception (blackmail).
However some actually voiced their opinion because they wanted to share their experiences
whether it was a good or bad.

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Media Influence
A popular term that has developed from online dating is catfishing. To be catfished it
means that a person pretended to be someone that they really are not. Catfishers are people who
usually take photos from another persons profile whether it is Facebook, MySpace, or another
social media site and pose as that person. They do this with the intention of trying to get someone
to fall in love with them. ("Catfish: the TV Show,")
The original film "Catfish" from 2012 soon became a TV series that airs on MTV, where
Nev Schulman and filmmaking partner Max Joseph help people when they finally want to meet
the person they have been talking to over the internet for over the course of months or years these romantics have usually become very attached with each other. Each episode both Nev and
Max will go on an emotional journey to discover the truth about the significant other that the
person has contacted Nev about. Nev then finds out about the person by investigating the whole
internet weather this is someone being catfished or if the person has been telling the truth or not.
Usually the people are not who they say they are. ("Catfish: the TV Show,")
Interviews
The research raised some important questions about the success and how many people
actually get together from finding each other online. Therefore, I conducted two interviews to
investigate these issues from the perspectives of young adults.
The first interview took place on March 16th 2015 with Alec in a Chicago suburb. Alec
is 18 years old and a full-time high school student. He has admitted to using a dating app called
Hot or Not. The reason he downloaded this app and used it was because his friend was bored, so
he said Hey I have downloaded this app called Hot or Not you should get it as well? He has had
success on this app in finding women, but he never meets them because most of the time they are

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weird and suspicious. He has never had a bad experience in meeting the women because he
never pursues to meet with them. All he does is talking on the phone and text them. All in all
Alec thinks the people on Hot or Not are okay, but he would rather meet a girl through someone
that he already knows or find someone on his own and in person.
The second interview took place on March 16th 2015 with Victoria on a college
campus. Victoria is 23 years old and a part-time college student. Victoria has also admitted to
using a dating website called Fling.com. She decided to use this site because she wanted to meet
different people than she usually hangs around with. She however said that she has not had
success on this website. She didnt go into specific details in why, but she did say that there were
too many creepy people on it, so she deactivated her account. The guys for the most part were
the cause of her being creeped out. Quote: Guys in particular were just too creepy for me to
handle. Victoria finally stated that even though she hasnt had a bad experience in first meeting
the guys she started to whenever she broke it off with them because they were getting too
attached too quickly and in a scary way.
The interviews indicate that dating apps are not necessarily used to establish traditional
relationships. For example, Alec tends to use the app for virtual, casual friendship. Victoria also
finds out the hard way that virtual relationships are too intense and potentially dangerous to have.
Possibly, young adults enjoy the thrill of virtual contact because they can explore relationships in
ways they might not in a traditional setting. It is usually easier to say more provocative things
over via text or IM because you wont be able to see the other responders facial expression, so it
makes the conversation less awkward when you cannot see the resulting expression.
Conclusion

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In examining statistics of online dating and the use of online relationship tools, some
interesting patterns of perceptions and attitudes about online relationships manifested. People of
all age groups engage in some level of online relationships or tool experimentation. People
engage in these activities with the intent of finding and building a committed relationship. People
also engage in these activities for causal romantic encounters. Finally, people also use these
activities to engage in virtual relationship play. Future research should continue focused on the
tools especially concerning safety such as filters.

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References

Alec. (2015, March 16). [Personal interview by the author].

Best, K., & Delmege, S. (2012). The filtered encounter: Online dating and the problem of
filtering through excessive information. Social Semiotics, 22(3).
Catfish:the TV show. (n.d.). Retrieved May 7, 2015, from http://www.mtv.com/shows/catfish/
Couch, D., Liamputtong, P., & Pitts, M. (2012). What are the real and perceived risks and
dangers of online dating? Perspectives from online daters. Health, Risk & Society, 14,
698-713.
Ellison, N., Heino, R., & Gibbs, J. (2006). Managing impressions online: Self-presentation
processes in the online dating environment. Journal of Computer-Mediated
Communication, 11(2), 415-441.
Finkel, E. J., Eastwick, P. W., Eastwick, B. R., Reis, H. T., & Sprecher, S. (2012). Online dating:
A critical analysis from the perspective of psychological ccience. Psychological Science
in the Public Interest, 13(1).
Smith, A., & Duggan, M. (2013, October). Online dating & relationships. Washington D.C: Pew
Research.
Toma, C. L., & Hancock, J. T. (2012). What lies beneath: The linguistic traces of deception in
online dating profiles. Journal of Communication.
Valkenburg, P. M., & Peter, J. (2007). Who visits online dating sites? Exploring some
characteristics of online daters. Cyberpsychology & Behavior, 10(6), 849-852.
Victoria. (2015, March 16). [Personal interview by the author].

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Xia, P., Liu, B., Sun, Y., & Chen, C. (2015, January 27). Reciprocal recommendation system for
online dating [Editorial]. Retrieved March 8, 2015, from http://arxiv.org/ website:
http://arxiv.org/pdf/1501.06247.pdf

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Appendix A: Interview Data

Interview 1: Alec

I had asked Alec a series of questions if he uses any sites/apps to meet people on. He
answered: According to Alec, out of boredom he and a friend signed up for a dating app.

1) Age: 18

2) Do you use a Dating App or Dating website? If so what do you use?: I do use a dating app,
and I is called Hot or Not

3) Why did you decide to use this?: I was bored one day, so my friend had signed me up for it,
so ever since then I go on it from time to time.

4) Have you had success on this? : I have, but I dont usually meet girls off of it because most
of them are weird, and suspicious.

5) Have you had a bad experience when meeting boy/girl in person?: No because I have never
met anyone off of the app. I just talk to them my message, nothing more.

6) What do you think of the people on it?: It is okay, but I would rather meet someone
through people or find someone on my own, I dont need an app to do that. Like I said before I
only go on it when I am bored.

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Interview 2: Victoria
I had asked Victoria some of the same questions as I asked Alec, but her answers were far
different. She was however more open about her answers too so that made it easy to ask her.

1) Age: 23

2) Do you use a Dating App or Dating website? If so what do you use?: Yes I have used a
website called Fling.com.

3) Why did you decide to use this?: To meet different people and get to know others.

4) Have you had success on this?: I have not had success on this at all. There are motile
reasons that I dont like to say. I will however say that there were way too many creepy people
on it.

5) What do you think of the people on it?: Guys in particular were just too creepy for me to
handle.

6) Have you had a bad experience when meeting boy/girl in person?: I have not had a bad
experience with a guy, but I started to when I got bored with them and then weird things
started to happen afterwards when I ended it with him.