WRITER (AUTHOR) Danny

EDITORS NAME: Ian

PAPER DESCRIPTION:
WRITING GENRE:
WRITING STAGE: Draft #1
Qusetions About Titles
Does title fist what the piece is
about?
Is title a grabber? Does it

TITLE OF PIECE: IJWBA Draft 1

DATE OF EDITING: 11-7

No

Somewhat

Yes

Comments/Sugestions
Make a title

Somewhat

Yes

Comments/Suggestion

make a reader want to read the

piece?
Questions About Leads

No

Does the lead bring the reader

right into the piece, into the
main ideas or action?
Can the first paragraph be cut?

The second par.? The first page?

Questions About Information No
Is enough information

Somewhat

Should be more
Yes

included?
Does the piece show, not tell, by
using examples?
Are thoughts and feelings told

at the points where readers will

wonder?
Is it clear where, when, and

with whom this is happening?

Is there enough detail and

description of the setting and

people so that readers can see it
happening?
Are there any parts that confuse
the reader? Has the writer
explained each part well

cohesive
Comments/Sugestions

enough?
Does this piece need

conversation? Did people talk?

Has the writer directly quoted

the words they said?
Is there too much info. In the

piece? What parts arent

needed- dont add to the point
or story? Can they be deleted?
Is there more than one story in

this piece? Is the writer having

difficulty focusing on one
story?
Is there too much conversation?

Too many fussy details? Is too

much explained?
Questions About Style
Has the writer cluttered the

No

Somewhat

Yes

Comments/Sugestions

Too brief

piece with unnecessary

adjectives and adverbs?
said something more than

once which detracts from the

piece?
Is there a word that is repeated

too often?
Are there any sentences too
long and tangled? Too brief and
choppy?
Has the writer paragraphed

often enough to give the

readers eyes some breaks?
broken the flow of the piece
by paragraphing too often?
Is the information in order? Is
the sequence in which things

happened?
Has the writer grouped together

ideas related to each other?

Does the verb tense stay the

same- present (its happening

now) or past (it happened in the
before)?
Does the voice stay the same-

first person participant (I did it)

or third person observer (he or
she did it)?
Questions About Conclusion
Does the concl. drop off and
leave the reader wondering?
Does the concl. go on and on?
Does the reader know

No

Somewhat

Yes

something at the end of the

piece? Does this conclusion do
it?
Does the reader feel something
at the end of this piece does this
concl. do it?
Overall Strength(s):
Overall Weakness(es):
Lots of repetitions
Not many details
Too many simple sentences

Comments/Sugestions