WRITER (AUTHOR) Danny

TITLE OF PIECE: Advertisements in Magazines

EDITORS NAME: Ian

DATE OF EDITING:

PAPER DESCRIPTION:
WRITING GENRE:
WRITING STAGE: Draft #1
Qusetions About Titles
Does title fist what the piece is
about?
Is title a grabber? Does it make a
reader want to read the piece?
Questions About Leads
Does the lead bring the reader right

No

Somewhat

Yes

Comments/Suggestions

Somewhat

Yes

Comments/Suggestions

Yes

Comments/Suggestions

No

into the piece, into the main ideas

or action?
Can the first paragraph be cut? The
second par.? The first page?
Questions About Information
Is enough information included?
Does the piece show, not tell, by

No

using examples?
Are thoughts and feelings told at

Somewhat

Could be more
descriptive

the points where readers will

wonder?
Is it clear where, when, and with

whom this is happening?

Is there enough detail and

description of the setting and

people so that readers can see it
happening?
Are there any parts that confuse the

reader? Has the writer explained

each part well enough?
Does this piece need conversation?
Did people talk? Has the writer

12

directly quoted the words they said?

Is there too much info. In the piece?

Could have more

What parts arent needed- dont add

information

to the point or story? Can they be

deleted?
Is there more than one story in this

piece? Is the writer having

difficulty focusing on one story?
Is there too much conversation?

Too many fussy details? Is too

much explained?
Questions About Style
Has the writer cluttered the piece

No

Somewhat

Yes

Comments/Suggestions

Ad is said a lot, could

with unnecessary adjectives and

adverbs?
said something more than once

which detracts from the piece?

Is there a word that is repeated too
often?
Are there any sentences too long

change it up some
Some are too brief

and tangled? Too brief and choppy?

Has the writer paragraphed often

enough to give the readers eyes

some breaks?
broken the flow of the piece by

paragraphing too often?

Is the information in order? Is the

sequence in which things

happened?
Has the writer grouped together

ideas related to each other?

Does the verb tense stay the same-

present (its happening now) or past

(it happened in the before)?
Does the voice stay the same-first

person participant (I did it) or third

person observer (he or she did it)?
Questions About Conclusion
Does the concl. drop off and leave

No

Somewhat

Yes

Comments/Suggestions

the reader wondering?

Does the concl. go on and on?
Does the reader know something at

the end of the piece? Does this

conclusion do it?
Does the reader feel something at
the end of this piece does this concl.
do it?

Overall Strength(s):
Comparison between ads
Overall Weakness(es):
Lacking sentence variation
Short and choppy sentences
Not very descriptive