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    Michael Swann reviewed drafts of a paper he wrote over the course of a year for his AP Language class. He saw improvements in how well-connected and flowing his writing became through multiple drafts, but some parts remained unchanged and retained poor word choice and syntax. An excerpt from the first paragraph illustrates this, containing a long sentence with words that seem forced rather than natural intellectual writing.

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    ijwbadap

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    Michael Swann reviewed drafts of a paper he wrote over the course of a year for his AP Language class. He saw improvements in how well-connected and flowing his writing became through multiple drafts, but some parts remained unchanged and retained poor word choice and syntax. An excerpt from the first paragraph illustrates this, containing a long sentence with words that seem forced rather than natural intellectual writing.

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    12 views1 page

    Ijwbadap

    Uploaded by

    api-286459786
    Michael Swann reviewed drafts of a paper he wrote over the course of a year for his AP Language class. He saw improvements in how well-connected and flowing his writing became through multiple drafts, but some parts remained unchanged and retained poor word choice and syntax. An excerpt from the first paragraph illustrates this, containing a long sentence with words that seem forced rather than natural intellectual writing.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Flag for inappropriate content
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    of 1

    Swann1

    MichaelSwann
    Mrs.Thompson
    APLang,Block1,SkinnyA
    May17,2015
    DAP
    IJWBADAP
    Lookingthroughthedraftsofthispaperwasaveryinterestingprocesssinceitwas
    writtenoversuchalongtimeinterval,Iwasabletoseehowmuchmywritinghadchanged
    throughouttheyearinasinglepaper.Icouldseethewords,sentences,andparagraphsbecoming
    moreconnectedandflowing,andIcouldseemy
    diction
    improvingwitheachnewdraftofthis
    paper.Unfortunately,somepartsofthepaperremainedunchangedfromtheoriginaldrafts,so
    thepoor
    diction
    andlackofflowinthe
    syntax
    followedwithitintothefinalpaper.Someof
    theserelicsofpastdraftscanbeseeninthisexcerptfromthefirstparagraph:InIJustWanna
    BeAverage,thechildreninthepublicschoolsystem,especiallythoseinthevocationaltrack,
    aretaughttobethekindofpersonwhowillsimplyobeytherulesofsocietythroughteachers
    whohavealreadyfallenintothemediocrityofthemasses,whointurndontencouragethe
    studentstolearnmorethanisrequiredmakethemcaremoreabouttheirgradethanwhatthey
    shouldactuallybelearning.Althoughthissentenceisbetterthansomefrommyprevious
    papers,manypartsofitstilllooklikepolishedrelicswithpoorlyplacedwordsfoundina
    thesaurus,insteadofactuallyintellectualwriting.

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