------------ Gray

A Gray World
Introductions are always difficult. Kicking off a conversation may come naturally to some, but
the truth of it is that an introduction is an attempt to forcibly drag someone out of their setting and into
another, one that they may not have seen before. It's especially difficult if the person doing the dragging
tries to be mellow, stay under the radar, and not leave their comfortable setting at the same time. I am
that person. I have been known as the modern nerd, not the suspender-toting brace-face from the
1990s, but the quiet, reserved kid in the back, trying not to say anything. My middle school Minecraftaddicted, math-loving friends had helped me don this image, and I'd nurtured it, enjoyed it, and let it
become me. However, the long days of middle school Mathcounts have since disappeared, and I've
decide that's not me anymore. I no longer want to be gray, but blue, blue like the cold water on the first
day of high school swim practice. The loud, somewhat obnoxious, and extremely muscular swimmers
are my complete opposites. They are the second social group that I can really say has changed me, and
it's hard not to change when one is surrounded by these people for so long. I've gained more than just
cheesy pick-up lines and leg cramps from being around these guys, as the swim team is like another
family. The tumultuous ups and downs of the season turn everyone into socialites, force everyone to
break out of their shells, all while building everyone's biceps and creating everyone's tan lines. Then
there is my real family. As the eldest of three kids, it's impossible to get time to myself, and
responsibility and supervision are my trade. I don't feel being the one in charge is my kind of thing,
having to do it so many times in the past. I try not to take charge unless necessary, and when I do, make
a big effort not to be dictatorial or tyrannical. But sometimes a strong sense of command is necessary,
and sometimes going with the ocean's waves is the surest way to get lost. I still do not know who I truly
am, or what I truly want to be. What I am certain about is my ability to do math, and that this skill will
take me somewhere in the future. So, for now, despite conquering asthma, drying my hair up, and
working out the muscles in my arms, I am still a math nerd inside and out. My world is still gray.