Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Santa Babta SMS
Santa Babta SMS
Santa Babta SMS
Santa: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do, mere dost aa rahe hain.
Jeeto: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lengey?
Santa: Nahin, pehchan lengey.
Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where
families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators
A sweet girl goes to Banta's shop and said: Mujhe underwear dikhao.
Banta sharmate hue: Aaj pehan kar nahin aaya.
Translation from hindi to english, "Khushi ke mare uski chaati phool gayi".
Santa: Due to happiness, his chest became breast.
In a train compartment husband: Darling, mujhe to tumhari aatma se pyar hai, tumhare jism ki mujhe koi
chah nahin. Main tumhari rooh ko chahta hoon, tumhara shareer to main kutton ko daal doon.
Banta sitting on upper berth says: BOW BOW
Santa ne apne nawen jamme bachche nu pakdeya per usne Santa te sussu karta.
Santa to nurse: Bibi eh piece leak karda hai badal k le aa..!
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Punjabi SMS, 138 Characters
Ek baar Santa Gangubai ke ghar jaata hai aur darwaza knock karta hai.
Gangubai: Kaun ?
Santa: Main !
Gangubai: Main kaun?
Santa: Tu Gangubai
Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA
Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur
password. It’s ****. Santa: U r wrong. It’s 1394.
Nurse came out with the newborn kid, Santa rushed 2 her & after seeing the kid he shouted, BETA hua
BETA. She slapped him: Leave my finger, u fool, It’s a gal
Santa falls in love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."
Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, apple saath laya hoon.
Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.
Santa: Sir hun meri salary wada deyo, mera vyah ho gaya hai.
Boss: Factory de bahar hon wale hadseyaan layi factory jimmevar nahin hundi.
Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long...!
Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped - paudhe thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudhon ko pani dal.
Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai.
Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else?
An englishman and santa inside the toilet. Englishman: Good evening, how do u do? Santa: Good evening,
we open the zip and do!
Jeeto yelled at santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!
Santa: Make up ur mind, which one is it gonna be!
Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 124 Characters
Santa went to see a gal for marriage. Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time
santa asks: "behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho?" Girl: "Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho gaye."
Lady doctor: tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar aurto ko kyon ghurte ho?
Santa: ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai "aurton ko dekhne ka samay subah 10 se 12".
Santa & banta sending sms 2 their gfs. Santa:mai tere mobile se apni gf ko sms bheju dekhte hain kya kahti
hai? Banta: No, agar usne handwriting pehchan li to...?
Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..
Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover is crying furiously...
Finally, santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will marry again.
Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home. The stearing, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.
After sometime he calls again: I am coming, earlier I sat on the back seat.
History teacher asked Santa: Name kalidas's brother who was a shoemaker.
Santa: Adidas
Santa: Mom, last night when I opened the toilet door, the light went on itself.
Mother: Idiot, you again peed in the refrigerator!
Santa's shayari: Kutta marr gaya razai vich, main pagal ho gaya teri judai vich, fernail te machchar beh nahi
sakda, main tere bina hun reh nahi sakda.
Santa: "God, if you give me 100 rupees, I will donate 50 rupees in temple".
Santa: "Shame on you God, you don't even trust me a little? You have already taken your share!"
Santa looking at himself in the mirror, "I have seen this man somewhere".
After half an hour, "Oh, its the same man, who married my wife."
Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.
Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'
Don’t rush in love for it never runs out. Let love be the one to knock at your door, so by the time you start to
fall, you know that your feeling is for sure.
What’s missing in H__RT? EA or U? Pick EA & you’ll get a heart! If u pick U, you’ll get hurt! I'd pick U coz it's
better to get hurt than hv a heart without U.
To live this life I need a heartbeat, to have a heartbeat I need a heart, to have a heart I need happiness and
to have happiness I need you!
I have liked many but loved very few yet no one has been as sweet as you. I'd stand & wait in the world's
longest queue just 4 the pleasure of a moment with u.
Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!
Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.
Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi.
Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.
Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.
Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library."
Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"
Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.
Pappu: Life imprisonment!
Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!
Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi
100 ka bharwata hoon."
Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.
Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.
Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't
you use a mouth wash?"