HOW WRITING IS WON

An Examination of How Writing is Won

Kyran A. Million
Academic Writing 310 with Zack De Piero
Antioch University Santa Barbara

HOW WRITING IS WON

You may not think that going to a late-night smoky nightclub, bearing witness to
your favorite rock-n-roll bands, and drowning yourself in mediocre beer is all a product
of a well-crafted email, but you would be wrong. Dead wrong. The details of your
evening and that memorable experience all began with a piece of writing. An email,
flyer, or Facebook post is a piece of writing that someone needed to take the utmost
care to be intelligible, thorough, and relatable to get their message across. Without a
writer who is scrutinizing over the details or planning their document for their audience
the context of the document may confuse the reader. That writer who is crafting those
emails, flyers, and Facebook posts to that high degree of professionalism, and who is
responsible for that epic scene previously described is: Jeff Theimer, President of New
Noise Santa Barbara.

I came into contact with Theimer in 2010 by working for and along-side him at
New Noise Santa Barbara for almost 3 years. In that time, I began to understand more
of what it took to become a rad promoter. I was exposed to the multitude of fresh skills
needed to successfully undertake putting on large events like his New Noise Music
Festival and Conference, and by being one of his right-hand people I accumulated a lot
of knowledge all at once. Upon leaving New Noise, I thought that I had a pretty good
handle on how I could run my own events. It wasnt until the opportunity to write this
paper arose I never considered where and how Theimer began to achieve all those
impressive events, to my discovery it was his writing.

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In this paper, I will be analyzing many of Theimers documents and how they

relate to our course readings. Theimers documents he composed include: a proposal to

a youth music philanthropy called Freedom Hill out of Detroit, the New Noise
Mission/Vision Statement for his organization, the About section on the New Noise
website, a donation letter to Oreana Winery, and a sponsor proposal for Sonos Inc.: a
house and business-wide music speaker and streaming service. These documents are
to show examples Theimers: direction (purpose), credibility (ethos), and Professional
Communication (audience, tone/style, and conventions). In addition to those examples,
Theimer with me in our interview his insight on how he - as a professional - in the music
business and his local philanthropy work creates his writing. Those different pieces of
writing will be my references on how good writing is done professionally. Theimer,
while he is a writer of many styles, knows that to be a successful writer you must be
direct, credible, and apply professional communication.

Direction is how Theimer establishes purpose and the reason behind his
artifacts. Theimer is very deliberate on how and why he structures an artifact. In his
proposal to Freedom Hill a music philanthropy out of Detroit - Theimer is explains the
reason behind his proposal and what will be covered in the artifact when he says, This
memo is intended to provide a brief summary of possible donation and collaboration
structures we believe can create a vibrant and sustainable music community in Detroit
(Notes For Notes - Freedom Hill 2014). These words are in the first few sentences of
the document and Theimer does an bad-ass job of cutting to the chase and setting the
stage for everything that is going to be discussed in the artifact. This decision to

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introduce the direction of the document early on is paramount in the successful

interpretation of his intended audience. Theimer gets to the point and doesnt waist his
readers time. In our discussion Theimer admits, To be an effective writer is to be less
wordy and to be more precise, (Interview Question 1). What Theimer is referring to is
how being deliberate is affective to the reader. If you embellish or ramble on in your
grand idea you loose traction with the reader and the purpose of the artifact is lost.

As another example of affective purpose and direction is Theimers strategic

vision statement for New Noise, when he announces, This strategic plan provides a
framework for the implementation of the Foundations goals outlined in this document
(NNMF Strategic Vision 2014). So simple, but profound: He wants his audience to have
a clear understanding in the beginning of the document so they are not lost throughout
reading it. Without this direction, the reader may assume that the goals outlined - part
of the document - are arbitrary elements to its purpose.

Often it may take the writer to repeat his stated direction/purpose in their artifact
if the topic is complex or needs expanded upon. For example: Theimer initially explains
in a sponsorship proposal, New Noise Music Foundation invites you to become a
sponsor of our 2nd annual Santa Barbara Skate Park Youth Music Series (Sonos
Sponsor Skate Park Music Series p. 1). This offer may seem self explanatory, but
because the artifact has to cover multiple aspects around the purpose of contacting
Sonos Inc., so he follows up with, We believe the Santa Barbara Skate Park Music
Series is an unparalleled opportunity for Sonos to participate and support youth music

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performance opportunities in the Santa Barbara region Theimer (Sonos Sponsor -

Skate Park Youth Music Series pg. 2). Theimer knows that every section of an artifact
should be contributing something to the overall purpose and each section should be
intentionally relating to each other. If the purpose of the artifact is apparent and the
structure of the artifact is supplementary to its point, the audience will connect to the
purpose of the artifact and the argument will be more successfully delivered. Theimer
lets the recipient of the artifacts know why he has sent them the document and then - in
the last example - reiterates and checks for understanding of the artifacts purpose by
including the professional opinion of New Noise to why they are asking Sonos Inc. to
participate.

An opinion in someones writing can be effective drawing attention to the stance

of the writer and the purpose of the artifact, but an opinion from a credible writer or
credible source can convince an audience of a topic direction is. Credibility is one the
most important tools to persuading an audience to a writers argument and good
rhetoric. Losh and Alexander provide an insight to rhetoric by declaring that its a way
of thinking about how we talk (2013 Pg. 38). In classical rhetorical debate, credibility
on a topic attributes to a writers Ethos as Losh and Alexander put it, Ethos is the
credibility a writer brings to the subject he or she is communicating about
(Understanding Rhetoric Pg. 44). This idea, that being an expert in the field of debate
can have mass appeal for any argument because their title and relationship history to
the subject, legitimizes the statements in any artifact they compose. For example,
Theimer lists, We currently have (2) studios in Boys & Girls Clubs in Santa Barbara, (2)
in Nashville, (2) in Los Angeles (1) in San Francisco, (1) in Ventura, CA, and coming in
2015 to Detroit, Brooklyn, and Atlanta thanks to the CMA Foundation, Hot Topic

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6
Foundation and our many sponsors (Notes for Notes - Freedom Hill Pg. 1). Theimer is
enforcing his direction and purpose with these credible facts that give him the authority
to propose a joint partnership with Freedom Hill. The notable partners and successes
attached to his name give Theimer the ability to captivate more attention to his proposal
because he is someone or is a part of an organization that can make the argument
tangible and enforceable.
Legitimizing a writers argument can come from not only their personal credibility
but from collogues, individuals or organizations they have relationships with. In his
About section on Newnoisesb.com, Theimer does not fail to mention that his, Past
Performances Include: Jack Johnson, Massive Attack, HAIM, Thievery Corporation,
Imagine Dragons, Fitz & the Tantrums, Phantogram, Holy Ghost! etc (About
Newnoisesb.com 2014). These past accomplishments working with professional
musicians mean to others in the music industry and music lovers that the writer of this
event must have the integrity to provide with an influential event and professional
atmosphere. In our interview, Theimer comments to how important it is to illuminate
these topics when he states, New Noise is intended to reach a broad spectrum of
people and to mention large acts will draw them in, (Interview Questions 2015).
Theimer wants to attract a wide range of attendees to his events and foster a
community. Mentioning the large acts he has brought together for people to experience
convinces his intended audience that the argument that his festival will be enjoyable
and should be taken seriously is credible. Theimer does this by tailoring his language in
the context for this audience.
Professional Communication may seem like a vague statement to make on what
constitutes great persuasion and writing, but Wikipedia defines it as encompassing
written, oral, visual and digital communication within a workplace context. Professional

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communication is at the core of all great persuasive writing. Sometimes persuasive

writing isnt professional. For instance as it is with satire or parody pieces of writing as
long as it is with in the context of who the audience is, the writer should construct their
artifact to them. Theimer has to address many different audiences for different artifacts
so what ever he is writing he must prepare to address that audience how he believes
they want to be talked to. Every piece of writing artifact complies toward a genre and its
conventions.

Professional Communication is conducted within many different genres and

each of their conventions are specific based around the topic of the artifact being
discussed. Theimer will often receive donations for events connected to his non-profit
Notes for Notes to which he must compose a profession letter of thanks. In Theimers
letter to Oreana Winery he expresses that, We appreciate your consideration and
donation. The programs produced by the New Noise Music Foundation, weekly, monthly
and annually, are an important addition to the Santa Barbara community. It is only with
help from the community that we can continue to serve Santa Barbara for years to
come (Donation Letter - Oreana Winery 2014). In this thank you letter Theimer
appeals to the conventions of a thank you letter by being considerate and addressing
Oreana Winery with high regard. Along with mentioning their charity, he also explains
why they did something important, We appreciate your consideration and donation. The
programs produced by the New Noise Music Foundation, weekly, monthly and annually,
are an important addition to the Santa Barbara community. (Donation Letter Oreana
Winery 2014). He gave them the credit and convenience of knowing where their

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donation went and then elevated them to a level of communal prestige and service.

Attached to the back of this paper are the copies of the mentioned artifacts. Theimer
(Donation Letter - Oreana Winery 2014) is also formatted in a professional manner with
New Noise business information, staff, contact info, and their business/tax id. These
subtle adornments to the document are essential to delivering clear and appropriate
communication when working among professionals. The Thank you letter is a formal
document that should demonstrate customary formatting, formal language, and above
all the conventions of a thank you letter them being: mentions of gratitude, humility,
attentiveness to sensitive material, formal greetings and farewells and necessary
information for the correspondent to have all their needs met post script.

On a more informal note, a professional can and will take certain liberties if they
deem the audience receptive to their jargon or lackadaisical style. In Theimers artifact,
Notes for Notes Week Of Advance, he delivers very specific details about a benefit
concert itinerary while setting a relaxed and friendly mood. Theimer (Notes for Notes
Week Of Advance 2014) All times subject to change. Rock & Roll Time.... Theimer in
all his experience knows his audience and that using a little humor to coast an artifact
can make everyone a little less stressed and keeps the audience interested. Every
decision in an artifacts direction, the writers citations or credibility, and reaching our
intended audience needs to be played based on the professional communication skills
of the writer. Context is king and it helps the writer choose the appropriate language to
effectively deliver their credibility and purpose in their artifact.

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All successful writing must go through very thorough steps to provide the

audience with a justifiable and relatable argument. My paper highlights my Interviewee,

Jeff Theimer, who considers in advance how and why he is writing and what and where
he must include his points before he publishes an artifact. His discretion on the direction
and purpose is heavily considered so his argument is effective like when he structured
his Sonos Inc. Proposal for Skaters Point or the structuring of his Mission and Visionary
Statement for New Noise. All were very intentional and without contemplation on who,
what, where, and why, those artifact would be hard for his audience to follow or they
could miss the point entirely. Mr. Theimer also decides on almost always including who
he is and what he stands for. Who ever his audience is, they can acknowledge that he is
someone who should be writing these artifacts and has the authority to be addressing
them. His relationship to his artifacts is not only characterized by what he has
accomplished, but in the way he says it. He writes with is professionalism. Theimer is
very considerate on his language choices. In our interview and in the artifacts he sent
me, much, if not all, his words are intentional. Theimer is not the only writer to provide
insight into their best practices regarding their writing, but he is a perfect example of
how being Direct, credible, and using professional communication makes his arguments
a success.

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References
Losh, E. & Alexander, A. (2013). Understanding Rhetoric. Boston, MA:
Bedford/St. Martin's

Lunsford, A., Ruszkiewicz, J., & Walters, K. (2012). Everythings an Argument.

Boston, MA: Bedford/St. Martin.
Attached Documents
Notes for Notes Benefit - Week Of Advance
Donation Letter - Oreana Winery
NNMF - Strategic Vision Statement
Notes For Notes - Freedom Hill Proposal
Sonos Sponsor - Skate Park Youth Music Series
About Section www.newnoisesb.com