fy eRe WITH THIS ISSUE OF WEE a1)IT’S BETTER TO GIVE Especial this lates MAD book) THAN TO RECEIVE! LPR RELA SO GIVE ... BEFORE THEY GIVE UNTO YOU: MAD PAPERBACK BOOKS FOR CHRISTMAS! (THE IDEAL GIFTS FoR PEOPLE AT THE BOTTOM OF YOUR SHOPPING LIST) .==use coupon or dupes MAD 485 MADison Avenue, New York, N. Y. 10022 PLEASE SEND THE MAD PAPERBACK BOOKS I HAVE CHECKED BELOW TO: NAME ADDRESS city zip-cope__ AND SEND A CHEERY CHRISTMAS GIFT ANNOUNCEMENT ALONG WITH THEM BLAMING: The MAD Reader =) ke MAD (Self Mace maD (C7 DON MARTIN Bounces Back (COMAD strikes Back I The Ides of MAD The MAD Sampler =| ON MARTIN Drops 13 Stories Inside MAD 1 Fienting MAD 5 Worl, World, etc. MAD MAD's Captain Klutz utterly MAD The MAD Frontier ©) Raving MAD Gg Looks At The U.S (The BrothersMAD_——) MAD in Orit i boling MAD DDAVE BERG Looks At People The Bedside MAD The Voodoo mad Sderot ao on Greasy MAD stutt Looks At Tings 1 The All-New SPY vs, SPY Three Ring MAD 1BOM MARTIN steps out ELAMAD ac Osis ENCLOSE 50c FOR EACHNUMBER 116 JANUARY 1968 VITAL FEATURES NDB Parents whe have alot of kids deserve In fact they can't ‘ery well get ong without i!"—Alfred E. Neuman pigrier ey THe pear é crrustmas Ss CARDS TO DEPARTMENTS SN SERSONAL ANIMAL SINGDOM DEPARTMENT | EXPLOITERS Songs OF Pots ATURN FOR THE WORSE DEPARTMENT Late Night TV Roulette BERG'S-EVE VIEW DEPARTMENT The Lighter Side OF Friendship BOUND TO APPEAR DEPARTMENT THe Best-Sellers We're Sure To See 7 . LIGHTER BRATS MY LINE DEPARTMENT ree MAD's Thestical Agent OF Th Yoar : ne BUMS AWAY DEPARTMENT Der By The Dorer™-A MAD Movie Satro COPY CAT.ASTROPHE DEPARTMENT fds We Never Gct To Se DON MARTIN DEPARTMENT pSoaFvancieo Tip Best One Day On The Road a as WEES GERIANTICS DEPARTMENT : TOseE ou Know You're Really Getting Ok When es HIP-POCKETFUL OF DREAMS DEPARTMENT {A Golebriy' Wallet Timothy Loar) JOKE AND DAGGER DEPARTMENT Spy Vs. Spy LETTERS DEPARTMENT Random Samplings Of Reader Mal LUNA-SEE DEPARTMENT novo The Werewat a oat MAD TAKES PLEASURE IN PRESENTING THIS. DEPARTMENT Pg. 38 Nove Amogreerertatr Ear 7vea Y. 38 MARGINAL THINKING DEPARTMENT Drewn-Oul Dramas ate SEASON'S GRATINGS DEPARTMENT Chistes Carde Te Seasonal Explain 0 THE SURLY BIRD MAKES US SQUIRM DEPARTMENT Tho Joe Neely Show e Various Paces Around The Magazine‘A MAD CAT'S COMMENT Please accepe my congratulations on the cent isues of your magazine. As a loyal reader for years, I have noted a general albeit gradual, improvement in the humor content of MAD. Your satire, in particu lar, has risen from a mece slapstick swipe at the mores of our society the level of deeply penesrating and bitely stinging comments, Your artists and waiters are at their best whea shivering their lances ‘upon the battlements of our sacred cows. The controversy stired among your these articles attests to theie success. Thac some will mistead and mis- interpret is inevitable; that some will une derstand and sce reflections of themselves and, ike cats in a sand box, busily con ttive to cover it over is another indication of you succes. Keap up the goa work and your magazine will soon be recog- nized as the acute commentator on the ‘American Scene” it is becoming. Duvid Grant Best Washington, D.C ‘Then egain, it might only be cecognized as perfect lining for eat sand boxer! Ed, ‘MAD ON TELEVISION IN CANADA After screening the thousands of feet fof film we shot in your ofices in New York, I can understand why no one else has ever attempted to do a documentary on MAD Magazine. However, itis be- }9 eve ha he rogram May ave sme meric if presented in an anthropological context. And so, the Canadian Brosdeas. )_ ing Corporation has scheduled the telecast Yor December 28th at 3 PM, It is unfor tunate that cis coincides with the Christ mas Holidays and chac the program ma be seen by some of our younger viewers The least you could do is warn them Glena Saey Executive Producer Take 30 CBC, Toronto, One. Cen. All you young Canadian MAD fans who watch TY, consider yourselves wamed!—Ed “Take 30” Invades MAD's Offices PRES. JOHNSON ON MADISON AVE, I juse borrowed the October issue #114) from a friend, and I muse tell you thae “President Johnson on Madison Avenue” was the ftnniest thing I have ever read. Keep it up and T might even bay my own copy of MAD, Denise Cooper Adrian, Michigan resident Johnson on Madison Av- enue” was fantabulous!. Ie was the fur ‘lest ching I have ever read in your maga ine. Ie was fait dinkurn! Paul Wilboe Scarboro, Ontario Te made me sick! I hope President Johnson reads. ie and docs something labour it. Whoie side are you on, Bobby Kennedy's? Mike Doon Canaan, New York I've just finished reading, "President Johason on Madison Avenue". Jes uly refreshing to note that no one is too pow erful or important @ escape MAD's 50 Sic elucches, Keep up the great work. ‘Duane Pactzel Tracy, Minnesota We have always enjoyed reading MAD, specially when you sutirize the American ‘way of life: But when you aack che pres Lage of the President of the United Seats, you are going 00 far William Swards Hustingeon, Mase. 1 haven't even finished the magizine (#114), but I just wanced to tell you ehat enjoyed "President Johnson on Madison Avenue” immensely. Good luck ia your new line of business, whatever it may be! Gregor Owen. New York City SO HOW COME? 1 have just finished reading "So How Come?” in the Oct, issue (#114). 1 have always found MAD articles to be 2any, kooky and enjoyable, but this article was different. "So How Come?” was un= Usually true, sort of sad, and even touch ing. Te was, a8 1 said, @ different sore of article, something 1 have never seon in MAD before. But I found ita serange and delightful change. Vive le MAD! “Linda Packer Highland Park, Ulinois If your “So How Come?" article was 40 great... and je wast. so how come ie was printed in MAD? Bill Akerlund Plainfield, New Jersey If MAD js such a ridiculous, seupid magazine, so how come it keeps making ; © Mark Bvanier Los Angeles, California SOMBRE Today, the Western movie has become a psychological study with bits of pom ous jargon hurled in between gunpiays, Ie is just about the worst thing that has lever happened to the Western film. Your Crusade agains this trend, stating olf with Yue brillant sare of "The Professionals (The Amateus”—MAD #112), and guetied_on with your recent parody of Hombre" ("Sombre"-MAD #114), is welcome and badly needed. These two films were both silly in eheie pretentious ns and sporadic In thet ation, Thy merely pretended to be big and rough and tough while wasting most oftheir ame on saceless idiotic probings of the psyche ‘What « bore! Dale Winogurs Tos Angeles, California So's your loteriEd DR, SEUSS FOR ADULTS ‘The Gus Are All Bats—A Dr. Seuss Book For Adults” was the funniest thing in the issue Mike Grace Deco, Michi Teamazes me how your writers can cap- ture the exact rhythm, pattern, thyme scheme, meter and style in your poetry and literature parodies as shown by the past “If Famous Poets Had. Written Mother Goose” and the recent “The Cats Are All Bats” by Dr. Seuss. In reference to the last article, 1 can imagine Bill Gaines asking Al’ Feldstein, “Do you think hell Seuss for this? Doug Kalish Stony Brook, N.Y. ‘The javenile style in juxtaposition with the adule subject matter is what made it so great! Bob Voge! Indianapolis, Indiana MAD js really great, and I love it, Ie smakes me stop to think aboue what kind of a world I live in. (I sil haven'e fa ured ie out!) Bue don't expect Dr. Seuss tw take your suggestion and tackle the subjects of air pollution, birth control, automation, ett, Harmless children's sub jects are so much safer. Huzrah for MAD for not always playing ic safe! Thaoks for speaking out for us! Gail. Johnson Bristol, Wisconsin MISSING SOMETHING Boy, if you haven't seen my mother and facher wrestling over who gets to read my copy of MAD first, you've really. been missing somethiog! Stephanie Handler ‘Athens, Georgia Nothing, wo're sure, compared to what woll bo missing when they get o load of this loter pagel—Ed Please addvess all correspondence to: MAD, Dept. 116, 435 Madan Avenue New York, New York 10022UL STAI) g RCP aa LIFT YOUR SPIRITS BY GIVING... GIFT SUBSCRIPTIONS TO MAD . and we'll send cheery “Christmas Gift Announcements” telling the lucky recipients who the i oses eae, 3 dup 485 MADison Avenue New York, N. Y. 485 MADison Avenue New York, N. ¥. 1002: I enclose $5.00" Please sei 19 Issue GIFT SUBSCRIPTION NAME. ADDRESS. city. STATE zip-cops__ ‘AND SENO A CHEERY CHRISTMAS GIFT ANNOUNCEMENT BLAMI [AND SEND A CHEERY CHRISTMAS GIFT AKNOUNCEMENT BLAMINGBUMS AWAY DEPT. = He claimed Maybe you haven’t noticed it, but the latest trend in movies is the “Anti-Hero”. It all started with “HUD”, when the usual clean-cut, honest, All-American cowboy hero- type was suddenly replaced by an immoral and conniving crumb. Now, this recent hit war picture has suddenly replaced the usual clean- cut, patriotic, All-American GI hero-types with ugly psychopaths and murderers. Instead of a single slob, Hollywood seems to figure that “Anti-Heroes” are even... Dirtier ea [Calesiow. taepn'] | Puntiey, vermont | Paycno, veto] [My name: Jose Jimenez! |i] 1am the avenging ang and |] rm Samu Grime: Murder! |] Crime: Rape and | | crime: Robbery and| | My Crime: Theenking | | carry out the Lord's punishment | | Pansy, and Sentence: Death || Murder! Sentence:| | “wurder! Sentence: | | can act! My Sentence: ‘upon those who would defile | | I'm getting by, Death by hanging!) Death by hanging! | | Getting written out || the Earth with their wickedness || nauseous. cof thees peecture as |/] —by cutting them up in teensy: || ‘Tistening soon a posseeblay! wweensy litle pieces and || to this nuttThe Dozen | | ARTIST: MORT DRUCKER WRITER: LOU SILVERSTONE fered by Allied Command to take ed |Hi, guys! ve got || Man, tke 2 deal for you! The || we know Army will alow you || the rules! 1¢ your death] | Condemned ‘sentences and fong. || prisoners prison terms if you'll || don't have volunteer to goon || to go on no a suicide mission! || ‘missions! Hah! You punks are supposed to be tough killers!? ‘Well, you're just amateurs! I'm going to tt the proper way to the training progre Insane GIst | Take over, St Jerkle! Okay, the first job wll be to put up five buildings! These will be erected}, in order of importance! First, MajorThe men are just ‘Men, my name is Capt. ? 1S jimenez...? | [whats tne Well, Capt. ———— | matter with It looks It looks like || Eet look like a | | you guys?! like awild | | two Mafia guys|| lovely senorita | | You're all, [-| noar rooting || taking some || strangling her || sick It's ‘up some fat | | squealer fora || caballero weeth| | a buttery F-|dame's guts! || “last ride! || guitar string! | |on a flower! what it reminds you of! = fi | “At the men I'm worried about! | They're stil acting as individuals, ‘and not functioning as a “team” ‘They need something to bind them| | together, ke @ name oa slogant The MP's have] [We don't | _[Okay, DON'T wash [Hey. auys'] “the pity | | 1 thought hot water! We| | eareit | 99| and DON'T shave Ht ‘Wegot.a | |pozen Rotten| | belonging ain't shavin" | »|we smell |__| “and SMELL like Eggs"! Gee, | to the Cosa like | 7 | rotten egesi And ot ry folks’ that's what we'll (eat you slobs— Me or washio’ untilwe have | | rotten hot water, oo!) | eggs! |Well Malor, you | molded thors men into one un, avant, core they're If wnat any normal STINKING, FOUL. deinen | ec bibaced SMELLING UNM: |) "Ghrewn them 2 "| TL \ ae win gis trom the 1 t ‘Okay, men! This isi! The mission I've trained you tor You're the all these weeks! only hope religious you don't chicken out when it comes to jumping into enemy territory with your parachutes! 5 Fe [rows Blast open Piant the door! dynamite sticks! left my heart at the Stage Door | amen «| ‘Okay, you Dirty Dozen Rotten Eggs! Here we igo! On the way down, | ‘want you to repeat the Bilan forthe last time! \[" wnadaya mean, \| “Packs the en? It we gotta go | back to jail after \| this what are we Thing our ves tor anynay?= Oh, good! Then | rs can cut of theiraiesupply| | Don't be ‘nceufoene | | sescuoust Look around! ] HY “are your f) murderous That would Bact beast! be the brutal Okay, Brown, you've | [How come down the air vents, Major! ‘Atease, Major! Tim notet attention, [General! 'm | just taped together this way! r Congratulations!NGS DEPT, Every year, people send Christmas cards to friends, acquaintances and loved ones. Well, we at MAD say this is wrong! Cards should really be sent to the folks who make Christmas the distinctive holiday it is I 'S CHRISTMAS CARDS Bh eset il [II ae To The Cigarette Industry To My Apartment House Superintendent = au : : m o . J ‘ Nour Chetirareatoderealemned a" ge With mistletoe and holly, VP Bs J FR And happy faces all aglow, = Roa ise 7 - ay you fixed my bathroom pipes And Santos who are jolly; (They burst last May, you know); You then replaced the window But though your wrappings may be bright That fell out 10 weeks ago; ‘With sleighs and snow and stors there, You help me with my packages; I¥’s justa Christmas cover-up a eee: eee pease wu 'm glad that there's a Christmas time, For all those killing tars there! (Or stexiea'd aarect meet: To Our Garbagemen A trail of dirty coffee-grounds Extends from our back door: Our lawn is strewn with chicken-bones And egg-shells by the score: Today you came at 5 a.m. To make your noisy haul: “I's just your way of telling us Your Christmas tip's too small!ing’ @ "ae BS: —namely the workmen, sonpanies and industries that exploit us! It is these profit-hungry groups who deserve our most heart-felt sentiments. So why not give them what they deserve . . . from this selection of .. . 0 SEASONAL EXPLOITERS -RANK JACOBS To The Liquor Industry i et You gift-pack hooch in strange, new shapes But though your bottles cha To sell more booze and brandy; With shapes you are con’ That fifth looks like the Eiffel Tower, That quart like Mrs. Gandhi; To The Publishers Of “Gift Books” boo / mewseremewe You make us save our cash each week Your Treasury of Laplar ‘Through Summer, Spring and Fall; Is priced at 20 bucks; Bat when it comes to in-ter-est, For $16.50 folks can own You pay out none at all. The Golden Age of Trucks” We wonder if your Christmas Clubs ‘Are what they’re said to he— Or are they just a sneaky plan To use our dough for free?TO THE KIDS’ To Our Magazine Publishers SHOWS ON TV 5 ‘ pth i Wa 4 gy J MF hbo de * The Christmas Esquire weighsa ton! MN The Post is just tremendous! Both Life and Look are double sized, ‘And Playboy is stupendous! . Werread them all in half an hour, While Dad is working 9 to 5 But that's not too surprising— ‘And slaving through the day, (fall those countless pages there, You guys are working on his kid Nine-tenths are advertising! ‘To grab Dad's hard-earned pay. ‘The kid is flunking out at school; He's dumb as a baboon; Y yaa jtechadlitiead To Charity Organizations Our Electric Companies A brand-new range, a Frigidaire, A washer or a dryer— Your ads this year are full of things To tempt the Christmas buyer; We'd buy these n Except for one. 3 The seven hundred bucks a year You'd charge us for the current! ces fu, Je bled usdry, Please sel up one for us 2“) Le 10 rel FRANCISCOHi, Show-Biz-MAD fans! It's “Hypothetical Interview” time again. I'm Pee hypothetical Steve Allen here in the offices of the William Morris Ashley Theatrical Artists Agency, about to conduct an imaginary interview with Mr. “Bullets” Ashley himself, the Editor's choice for ... MAD’s THEATRICAL AGENT OF THE YEAR © ARTIST: BRUCE STARK WRITER: LOUSILVERSTONE Mow Tat 316.4 Wem Who's talking about TALENT! My Sings are NANCY Sintra, GARY Cosby, GAIL Martin ng GARY Levis! tried r E But ean ff To dre tostop Zz the ino sible dream,Look t that boy go! He's Janotner Sammy Davis, Jr can dance to! can do anything Astaire and Kel csnot See? ‘Talented peopie ‘rea dime dazen, Steve! Names! Famous ‘Names! Sons of big guns! That's were the money Istoday! isn’t FONDA! ‘Brass to get him ine WAR Series, fi] orthey'll have to answer to met! didn't raise my son to be no comedian... right, Pat? Look st this body! Awful, isn't? My secretary hae a better figure! And | \ winy is this skinny broad | | in Playboy and nat my. | secretary? Because my ‘secretary's last name a ‘ Uf tvehac the eatin 50 | fat does | | Summer Stock shows! ‘Burton know! [At ours Go. back Ohio! {Good heavens! What in the world was that [John Wayne! That's the fl only wayne knows how ff [rect seal it Duvet Gait sweetheart! was ust talking || Nappy {75} |] about your No, tm stil working ora |||, S2¥ le Hetici?} |] format tora W Series! But immed up ||| “Hel una Ho {Ea |fanctner guest shot tor you! Your Dads | to Dean bi Gai] show tAnow! But ths time e's gay Us Yr! }] 82%, | [| toityouas a “Special Guest StReally? What kind of sandwich? F pao | wamed you this wa: 4 tough business, Sweetie T've been'in this business | ||Remember, it took Judy Gi Hor almost a whole year anc ‘daughter OVER a year before ‘she got a lead in a Broadway I] isthe lead in the London ‘Show! But you're on your way! production of "Barefoot Tust heard today that Max's in the Park" and my ‘Stage Delicatessen named a ‘sandwich after you! eanut butter and jelly on ‘But Gary WROTE, that song, Jer— Hey, Bullets! You ‘expect my son *o sing this fershtunkiner ssong? Why can't That's Gary Lewis in there! ‘They/re pre- 2 recording his || | thought umber for ‘the show! Hey, it's almost 2 o'clock! How would you like to watch a taping of The Ed Sullivan ee eaturina some of| my fantastic clients! | never interfere in =] shhh, bubbalaht iy kid's career, Steve! fj What have fi] Don’t strain the But blood being thicker FH you got to nan Manischewitz wine,| | say about ‘the kid naturally | | that, Gary? Inherited an enormous ‘amount of talent! fAnd 1 don’t want] [Jerry, aid you he should wear ‘nd another ting | is studio! “ihe aeoustice ae bad and the lights ‘are hurting my Sonny's eyesLet's go, Steve! Peter Fonda and Naney Sinatra are on next i ‘And now, forall you youngsters So let's ‘round the country....Naney [lear it [Sinatra and Peter Fonda in some i for Peter ‘and scenes from their really great picture, "The Wilder Angels"—— Sheep, like, Mant ‘dig you! Wasn't that great, folks? Z| This stomping bit |[ cmon! Let's | | We'll beat Those are two ofthe nicest | is the greatest! || cut out ana | | ‘em with ids I've ever met. Be sure ‘and buy Naney's latest hit record, “These Boots Are JGonna Mash in Your Head’ ‘And now, for our really ig inate Almost as much fun] 135 smoking pot! put the burn | |chains! Yean, Jon some Fuza!} | yeah, yeah! ey) A aK Ny es 1 guess you're right, ulits! In that case, would you mind ..-? Ththis is $Steve Allen, Jr, signing off for MMAD Magazine!JOKE & DAGGER DEPT.HIP-POCKETFUL OF DREAMS DEPT. HERE WE GO WITH ANOTHER “MAD” VERSION OF THE CONTENTS OF... A CELEBRITY'S WALLET == Whats happening to my don © uscd to be such a nice sepsilte boy--a Peale poli at Pater GEE dct “ott ang mdher Whats gotten ih, etn ashing, howe yop st “ont lator al cae Bee ps nd sanding sur hight ntoe (ou Lud Give York dneh, Te coi 10 OE aoe saan fo. te madke fiom ing vibhations. ye a Go your befor du 4 : lee es Pew that YOU. ROVER Seca hae - A = LN EN Mato) Tinothy Lear Millbrook Nae brook, N.Y. Dear ur, Mr. Leary Phank you for your 1 ant, the United Fruit’ ter, Outlining Up to date, 97 FFU Companyig gh 28 Rods tor b We ace sorry ¢ seenalee Feady using he {ner you ng the slogen s¢ wuld be inappropriate oe S Bay be quite 85, odorless, Account Executivename Dre Thmabbysteary * roonese oltltbraie st Uc occupation Professor, Lecturer, oAMtnd- Bender, ree of Pot, 3g Priest of 12. 8-D. and Messiah. * pleie oe ST PTEY ‘eigbody bul the Fuze! They could seer eae Ty’ on Mu Vibrations! =. See een ft Seetiti stems 21 mel alS 40 ip. Timothy Lore ” r ia feutated these nents - Wuisbrooks A ettguty cae ale rer pear ur. LOTT ai special ennui Og ET PL n roceipt of YOU sameaiate, O¥ BREAKEAST DINNER chilled Morning LSD Cooktai Glory Seed Juice Sacred Mushreon Soup - Marijuana Marinara sonerors Heroin Hot Cakes dhoice of at ayine tosetner a8 LSD daelette spot" Roast a plan ont Morphine Toast Pereete 3 ‘Tea a vot "pot! cheese Poyote Popovers Airplane Glue Soup ‘Tea, Hasnish Salad USD Burger MIDAIGHT_swAcK French Fried Heap Poppy Seed Pudding LSD Cookies Oe ee and sli one insurance” vepy puny YOUre RSL oot. EERE jew PO3SCY ERE ETI " x ee SIC PUBLISHING, INC. lea aveRTES EEE via Wo York City Gue FoR spiritual Siscovem, Schelars Millbrook, Timothy Leary Nene Senctvary For Psychedelic ae MEMO TO: Dr, FROM. C. oar torerring 10 18 Rae fhe Pareey eV Porter sone, cour tEN fee 8 cote aed Mdust One things tn anseer to your recent inauiry first "LSD tripe : at TU Pt. Z 5 t e divine se! ee Porter i eee % $2.0 Sensual unfolding SSS aS se fees ng atte this tremendous stats Z Bip to the Bo Dota fol I take an aspirin? 7 ou for your interest on't be a fool (Srmtne! Ve ott ap SP oe hack Nose vraag 3osrss WS gad wher gan a fee ‘rectly kod asin Meumans indiscriminately, nae STMYUL Uf taken oo onsen Blagea" oe De. sore Bent iBERG'S EYE-VIEW DEPT. THE LIGHTER SIDE oar.ENDSHIP.. WRITER & ARTIST: DAVIO BERG Weil, when we walk down the street together, all the fellas whistle at her and try te strike up conversations That's ry fiend, Judy! She's the Dest friend 2 i could have! Harold, since you're my oldest land dearest frend, I've come foyou, 've got a payment due nthe car, Selma wants to re upholster the couch, my daughter races, and i'm strapped! with ner and everything! Sidney, my old friend, William Shakespeare once sald, "Neither ‘a Rorrower. nara lender be Tt Tent you money, it wou surely break up our friendship! ‘So why don't we leave things fs they arel? ‘nd they're always] {Big deal! trying to date her || What good and make out with || “oes that her and everything! "mention hats 2 friend for? THIS IS RIDICULOUS! HOW CAN ‘YOU BE SO MEANI? HERE. YOU HAVE'A JUICY PIECE OF GOSSIP. AND YOU CAN'T EVEN TELL YOUR | (OWN WIFE WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT! | [ware wane wey can'r) } a ES "ee Seen i ¥ Ra 7 . ‘ , ip! Wh a bh é *) [ Hey, did you see that) eaking of [what a phony deliberate Okay Frank | name-dropper he | [pont | | guywae'ust taining | you are! How give | [Beleve | | fo? That wos Staniey wre! Just |) Souda sic | | Soursei stows ana | Lome!) | Schnoohor He's 0 vely et build yourself up by eed heel OE bao ‘making me tink you 5 7 have important friends! a you know that at this very moment Tit never foret or forgive {Ermdeer, Ws that] (Oh, don't yng She cid tinue ust” Afterall mt With! | don't went to hear her yours on the phone! |_| 8043 few choice \ At hi J ~ \ _~ b & iF | CX é Charlie, baby, you're] [ Gee, [For one thing, Gee, For another thing, when ) [ Gee, But what | really eee mar) |" at | resonate ma yu Fs mee : one ere = “eset ey Vv v.‘So long, Chuck? So long, Ednal Lets get together ‘again real soon! Did you have to say that— ‘about getting together ‘again? ( can't stand your friend, Chuck, and his empty headed wife! | don't aon’t ever want ‘them acon What kind of taste do you have, anyway? errible typee of girls did you date? ‘and what kind of 7 En at mary es T thought he angry at me! He's anary | ‘YOU DIRTY RAT! YOl or [Because 1AM a friend of } LeuSr"BuMt FOU Go warationd | | “hie You see, hes noe or oura Wy | at'himseit ond tne wordt ‘do you take aii dat gut | | He ju ‘rom him? LISTEN, ) $” Why aren't you here yet? BARBRA- | 3 Everyone is wating for you ‘Do Ihave to invite you” With an old ftiendship ike ours, things like that are simply understood! Births your old pal ‘ett Miller! ‘Ohoohl The phone is ringing, got the strangest feeling that t's my ola Pal ‘Jett Miller, calling me! That's funny! | haven't heard trom Je't in months Tets out on me! WELL, DON'T JUST STAND ‘THERE! GET DRESSED! WE'RE GOING TO BARBRA’S PARTY! Tknew i Tine it) supernatural power élalrvoyant! I have E.S.P.! I'ma prophet! Our bond of friendship isso strong, Jet, That knew it was you calling! after all, you're only - human! I'm sure his / | words make you angryt Who do YOU let it out on?) T must say that's very |, BUSTER. tolerant of you! But, Int ‘AND DON'T THINK I'M EVER GOING) ‘TO FORGET OR FORGIVE YOU AS LONG AS | LIVE FOR CALLING MY ‘BEST FRIEND “CRUMMY"! Gee, I'm awfully ‘sorry, Mite! | ‘meant to dal Sid Finstert (CLICK!)GERIANTICS DEPT. You Know You're REALLY YOU KNOW YOU'RE REALLY YOU KNOW YOU'RE REALLY YOU KNOW YOU'RE REALLY GETTING OLD WHEN . . . GETTING OLD WHEN . . . GETTING OLD WHEN . your self-winding nee Rpeg stoping «.. you buy a pair of ioafers and put pennies in the lite slots. you can finally afford al of the things you've always wanted ... but your doctor won't let you have them. YOU KNOW YOU'RE REALLY GETTING OLD WHEN . YOU KNOW YOU'RE REALLY coe ‘OLD WHEN . fe es « «- people stop giving you sport shirts and cologne for Gristmas .. “and start giving you scarves and mulflers. mirrors don't seem nearly as fascinating as they used to be. YOU KNOW YOU'RE REALLY GETTING OLD WHEN . . . YOU KNOW YOU'RE REALLY GETTING OLD WHEN . . . YOU KNOW YOU'RE REALLY GETTING OLD WHEN . g ho - you drink Pepsi—not to nee beens itink young, but to help you burp! you find yourself paying You find yourself reading a ee iose attention tothe Laxative ihe Obituary Columns before Commercials on television. turning to the Sports Section. 26GETTING OLD When... WRITERS: PHIL HAHN & JACK HANRAHAN YOU KNOW YOU'RE REALLY GETTING OLD WHEN you burn your Draft Card— and nobody cares! ‘YOU KNOW YOU'RE REALLY GETTING OLD WHEN . . . you become more convinced each ‘day that gray hair looks distinguished YOU KNOW YOU'RE REALLY GETTING OLD WHEN... you goto buy a new outfit, and the clerk doesn’t ‘how you anything that isn’t gray or dark brown. YOU KNOW YOU'RE REALLY GETTING OLD WHEN... your “Junk Mail” stops including invitations to join the Playboy Club ‘and starts running more and more to ads for retirement lots in Florida YOU KNOW YOU'RE REALLY GETTING OLD WHEN . . i) a ot «. .you watch the “Miss America Pageant" to hear Bert Parks sing, for warmth. YOU KNOW YOU'RE REALLY GETTING OLD WHEN. . - «the only whistles you ihear are on tea kettles. YOU KNOW YOU'RE REALLY GETTING OLD WHEN . . . you wear stockings for support and sweaters Ag (GeisUe RCA) END ALL INTIMATE BOOKS ON J.F.K. MY THREE YEARS WITH PRESIDENT KENNEDY by Turk Griswold Which is why 1 will never for ‘vas collecting the a ‘garbage and dumping iti ‘ty associate, Angie Bodi arth fal yn 1961 ftenoon lad of Whe Hoe no my tl eae nsw tar ake subtle ware, Angie pur down hi fan oe Soya ee ‘iets won athe pet ‘ond © male sre et no one wat gzvetdioning. "You ce eae is 2D O06 ms boiled eggs?” I said, past Soo Nem eee rial Pushing back a crumpled copy of “Yeah,” he nodded. “Taida yates ieee See that treme Lee lous load of coffee grounds?” 1 iy one thing!” ‘ay muscular shoulders, He was re it Co me staight!, he celed, sad aay li. “Hes ming ing i ey OE PB wy ie ide ;:ARBS" Tsehes deeply. If « Presiden fide in his own Garbage Man, who cos ha nsahat oh sul veto pas henner a tm Socio 1 and then to Secretary of Sete Dean Rusk oie, 89— According to recent reports, Americans spend almost $3 billion a year on books. With this in mind, and after Considerable research, MAD has come up with its own additional statistics. Of this $3 billion, only $167 is a “a BEST-SELLERS” W Bi Si2. 0 fe) cy END ALL SEX NOVELS Lance braced himself and SEVEN THOUSAND DIRTY HOURS BEC ee HAROLD ROBBINS a deep breath, ‘opened the door to the bedroom. "The huge bed was there just as bed left hat morning. Except that now, waiting f with heavy-breathing Nancy Norris and hot. Tipped Salley Bares and deep-sighing Carol Blaavelt and itchy-ankled Rosa Vernetti and throbbing-kneed Olga Svensen and quivering: Angered Lotus Soong and twitchy-nosed Marie Roualt and sweaty-palmed Anna Vosnieskinov ‘and lissome Nanooka Yooker and slithery Car- ‘mela Ranola and intense Nejla Kassim and mr fage-hungry Renée Fink and sloppy Sophie Bunge and'TV Repairman Eddie Burke and the starting lincup of the Green Bay Packers and a dachshund named Irving and four Siamese ts with crossed-eyes and a squashed grass: es and a partridge hopper and two turtle doy 2THE spy WITH THE oma BELLY Pith Og poe a BON Ce tet Thriller ACU b Cnty APU Una Use ee a A SPECIAL INTRODUCTION BY THE PUBLISHER author Tan Despite the sudden and untimely death of author 1s Fleming not too long ago, many publishers are, still Fanning to discover Fleming manuscripts that have Maver before seen print. Playboy Magazine alone has Printed several James Bond stories since their author et with tis bok, we ofthe Rancid Howe bs Tishiag Company ate going to prove that we are the bes ‘Nowrtleming Stan. Findrs” of them all, We have eerie and a mortsian wo will sweat that dee aids of this hook were typed by Fleming with a reflex finger-action just one second before he died Tapa four hours and wo rminates Before rigor mort ta is no doubt about itt THIS is sbolutly the last and final James Bond book written by Ian Fem Tlorihir deatht There cannot be any others! efor Ppetore you rend and enjoy it I would Uke coat te next Tames Bood book we wil son toe ene, This ove was ween by tan Fleming ster his death “s Ahile I was attending a seance recently, I nee re team emanation from the ectoplssm spent on good books! The rest? Well, let's put it this way: if you think TV and the Movies follow nauseating trends, you haven't been following the trends in “Best-Sellers” these days. F'rinstance, here are a few E’RE SURE TO SEE WRITER: LARRY SIEGEL Awe we Py AA NS Pd tical Pekar OF HUMOROUS “LETTERS TO” YET and I hope you are rel Who used to come to twain ‘eneyclopedias? Y; ee fo chase away, Well, he’s still coming th the ect ty to all eneyeapeing caper here tn imi J The eo » anyway, you know what Fr ‘unny? An encyclopedia salesman ec ile? T laughed, and he laughed, sea Cle? hey say he doesn't mope around the hone way ek used to, Isn't that ¢ ute?) rk Senay, ‘Story as you reac ‘ther cask ever it is you live in. But wait oat a ers the punch line: Ate ue bees thinking it over I've decidedWRONG WITH THE WARREN REPORT ‘THE FANTASTIC AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF ROLLER DERBY IMMORTAL MIDGE “TOUGHIE” BRASHUN as told to DICK LYNCH ‘THE MOST DETAILED ATTACK YET Cake g Lis ‘and what's more, the page is numbered incorrectly. (28.248) Pages 197 and 198 were joined together in my ffition and had to be cut apart by hand. (28,248) There was a smudge on the tile page (28.245) The book doesn't stand up well on a shelf (20,248) The pages flop aver when you open the book, ‘unless you hold them down. (24257) The binding is weak. 120248) The pages don’t taste good when you lick your fingers to turn them, (28240) Te took was not dedicated to anyone (28,250 The type was hard to read. (28251) The writing lacked dramatic se (28250 There was no comedy ri Az88 My ther et rch or cre crowded, Ttatng a arious doubt as tothe ntegrity ofthe Commis =185— and 351 stated on th Kept saying, “Give up, Toughiet Youll ner en me never score that tie-breaking winning point! en moss Lneddnly dicovered tht my equipmess nat sibotaged. I was skating on “learners”. and mo eee ey, and my right front wheel wes boxed ee 20 Skate In Roller Detby competition-tne and most mea nifcent st meaningful sport yer devised the “Moment of Truth’. 1 was about eo ne Ns oN th”. T'was about to quit, when T from his hospital bed. eens ie Bellevue Alcoholic Ward. Just for you, 7 TT veon ttl the testis Roller Detby history 1 scored and fon, And as T stood before the microphone on “Lan tiee as Night”, I brushed aside a an Yagi for ME tonight, iA mighey oar went up tom the sate doy audience, and the applause was deatenic, ReLUNA-SEE DEPT. THE WEREWOLF > iA TURN FOR THE WORSE DEPT, Lote Night Television viewers and insomniacs often spend their evenings switching back and forth, mainly, their electric blankets, from “Warm” to “Medium-Hot”. But in addition, they offen have a problem deciding which Late Night TV Show to watch, They're usually torn between the “Tonight LATE NIGHT From New York...It's the “COCHISE, SON OF POTCHISE” . It's Cochise... leading his war “TONIGHT SHOW”... with fonight’s feature on “THE LATE” jl party of savagés and shrieking his horrible war cry. guest stars: Buddy Hackett, MILLION DOLLAR MOVIE GREAT” rr ee tae fe, (Gammisary " es a att and Sis on ite blasting off a BF destroying the fort! We must save the women launching pad at Cape Kennedy this morning. "The rocket wil attempt to make space mistory byShow”, the “Late Movies” and the “Evening News”. Here, then, is what happens in millions of homes as parents wait up for their teen-age Kids to come back from dates . . . and they play America’s Number-One Insomniac Game, as they switch from TV Channel to TV Channel. We call this madness . . TV ROULETTE ‘WHOOPEE! And may the | meet with Russian leaders to solve World bird of Paradise Problems. The Russians, however, vetoed the suggestion to hold a Summit Conference at Richard Nixon, who made his first bid for the 1968 GOP Presidential nomination in a speech before {6000 wildly cheering Republicans gathered in the “Pink Pussyeat” In Hollywood! Ed had a few drinks there last night, and the next thing we knew, he was seen 1-4 nareoties raid on the upper West Side, winere authorities uncovered a cache of 17 ‘pounds of pure uncut Heroin and.. .« BRUSH FIRE! [i ‘Apaches will oy Our homes fl uniess we get help!~« Ronald Reagan! The Governor Spent the day huddled with his top advisor and confidante Twoulan't try that if | were B you is that famous masked Morty Gunty, Xavier Cugat ‘and the glamorous ‘and exelting 2 Me { Buddy Hackett! Buddy has just returned from three hilarious weeks President Huber H, Humphrey! imphrey's speech today left no ‘doubt that he is unquestionably. Lady Bird Johnson!MAD TAKES PLEASURE IN PRESENTING THIS DEI A few issues back, we ran an article, titled “Announcements For Everything.” Shortly thereafter, Mr. Byron Q. Bixby, of East Spectrum, Oklahoma, wrote in, saying that the article was the “worst Wore. LLA QUIGLEY ES LY ANNOUNG! (rH OF HER HUSBAND MRS. LOUE) REGRETFUL ‘THE SUDDEN DEA’ T E UARY RTH OF FEBRU ON FRIDAY, THE FOURTH Oe ry SEVEN NINETEEN HUNDRED selma Rappaport Ms. ae ae Detail : sing SPT Th wulting From And'The Fat ing tier Recent " Arnal Rappepes 2p erenty ght Of March On Tuesday mare And Sixty SPE" NOUNCEMENTS Me. Mero Requests Your peal Hvis Coming-Out Party Following Brief 0-Day Rap To Be Held In Front Of Sderel House Of Detention “427 West Street Freddy San Wishes To Thank His Classmates At Frisbee High School For Their Letter Of Sympathy And Condolence Follaving the Untimely Death Of His 1937 Nash The Remains May Be Vie Irv's Junk YardFrail? avec to ac oeer MAD Magick inatter is; the “worst junk” fagazine. Naturally, we d i : is, the “worst junk” ever to appear in MAD eee aoe with Me. Baby: Te ee lowing article, namely . . « See idaisaareenuic deca Miss Fifi Lavoom Is Ecstatic To Announce The Acquisition Of ADiamond Brooch ‘AWeek-End in Miami Monroe Mishkin dustries (Of February ollowing With Mr. M (Of Mishkin In On Monday, The Sixth Nineteen Hundred And Sixty E Company Fourth Battalion Second Infantry Regiment United States Army ‘The Pleasure Of Your Company ‘At Its Ninth Weekly Latrine Inspection On The Morning Of Sunday ‘The Twenty-Fifth Of December Nineteen Hundred And Sixty-Six Fort Dix, New Jersey RequestsANIMAL SINGDOM DEPT. A couple of issues back, MAD published a collection of Food Songs. In the article, we said that food is the most important thing in our lives. Well, we were wrong—at least for some people. It seems there is another area in our lives that takes up even more of our time than food. Mainly, the feeding, training, walking and all-around absurdity of pets. Let us, then, give these creatures of fur, fins and feathers the tribute they deserve as we present this assortment of ‘THE PET-OWNERS CHORUS When you've apet, You've a burden forlife Who will cost you more dough Thana glutionous wife! ‘When you've apet You are forced to ignore That your living-room looks Like the Second World War The parrot that yells! ‘The St. Bernard that paws you! The hamster that smells! The Siamese Cat that claws you! The Mouse that gnaws you! When you've a pet, You'vea friend to the core ‘Who will wake you at dawn When you've dropped off at 4 ‘When you've a pet You're sunk, you bet! When you've a You will spend all With your hand on the button OF Aerosol sprays! ‘When you've a pet You can bet on the line He'll turn vicious and mean When your boss comes to dine! Your coat and your vest Are chewed to litle bits there! Your rug has been “blessed! With something that justs sits there! You're having fits there! e whee yeaeare Me vo ane Dads Mabie 38 SONG THE DOG-FEEDER’S DIRGE ung tothe tune of The Gil That | Ma when he is finished, fh house steak and filet of s His great yearning Lam learning, Swallows up every penny I'm earning! The Dane that I'm feeding Is constantly bleeding, Me dry! THE AQUARIUM ANTHEM fax, (5108 10.the ene of “My Favorite Things Black, shiny Mollies and bright-colored Guppies— Shy little Angels as gentle as puppies Swimming and diving with scarcely a “swish They were just some of my tropical fish Then Ib adly Pira sh are peaceful ‘san emply wish! np them together and leave them alone soon you will haveS OF MELODY FOR A MYNAH Sung to the Mynah! There's no bird that talks finah From Connecticut to China! Other creatures are never Cleveras she! Mynah! She's so smart | can’t bear it— Smarter even than a parrot When she's imitating me! But when I've company, My Mynah ‘Shouts with glee Some crude obscenity That she picked up from me! Myn Better shut your face, Mynah! (Or I'll feed you turpentine-ah jet a chimpanzee! SONG FOR A SHEEPDOG Vm screaming at a white sheepd Each time he sits upon my chair i's a thing I'm dreading— fhe should visit you May his bark be wors ‘And may all your fur PETS - WRITER: FRANK Jacous: SERENADE TO A WATCHDOG Watchdog in the night: never chained you! Watchdog in the night always trained you To protect my house Until the night was through! Then those burglars came You didn’t mind i They were after loot— ‘You helped them find it Diamond rings and furs You quickly led them to! Watchdog in the night Astupid Watchdog in the night But later on when I Returned to my poor home— How your jaws did foamt You became a snapping dog— Acrazy, fearless yapping dog! Whenever I’m in sight, It's so upsetting! Every time you bite It’s me you're getting! Now you're full of fight— night!A CAROL FOR CATS (Sung to the tune of “My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean”) A porpoise will flap with his flippers! ‘A monkey's both clever and shrewd! 5 A asset will bring you your slippers! ah ‘A cat only comes when there's food! rec Ad Don’t tr to give one to me—to me! Yecch! Cats! Yecch! Cats! Don’t tr to give one to me! S4 ‘a> A chimp makes ridiculous fa A skunk has a noteworthy air! A snake will return your embraces! A.cat only claws up a chair! Yeech! Cats! Yecch! Cats! Don’t try to give one to me-to me! Yecch! Cats! Yecch! Cats! Don’t try to give one to me! A parrot can speak in Italian! A goldfish is gorgeous to s A colt will become a proud stallion! A cat just gets caught in a tree! Yecch! Cats! Yecch! Cats! Don’t try to give one jo me-to me! Yecch! Cats! Yecch! Cats! Don’t try to give one to me! ‘A spaniel can swim in the ocean! ‘Aturtle’s content on a shelf! ‘Ahound-dog will give you devotion! ‘Acat only thinks of herself! Yecch! Cats! Yecch! Cats! Don’t try to give one to me-to me! Yecch! Cats! Yecch! Cats! Don’t try to give ane to me! HYMN TO A TURTLE (Sung to the tune of “ve Grown Accustomed To Her Face I've grown accustomed to your pace! You're like a streak of blazing light I've grown accustomed to the biast Of wind when you run past! ‘And when you zoom From room to room, You're like a burst of eneray A-comet racing through the night! You're justa wild and crazy creature who is uncontrolled and free! No wonder I get dizzy when I see you passing me! lve grown accustomed Accustomed to the speed Accustomed to your pace! BALLAD FOR A POODLE (Sung tthe tune of “On The Steet Where You Liv have often walked my Pierre outside! But | never liked him in the dirty air outside! Now he sits upon His own private john That {built for the dog that | love! See the king-size bed that | made for him! See those powder-blue pajamas | crocheted for him! ‘And should he fee! ill Here's a Contac pill That I give to the dog that | love: Yet, Oh! He sometimes annoys me! ‘When he does, I'm firm as can be! But, Oh! It nearly destroys me Tohave to tell him he can't watch his own TV! bake chocolate cakes with a glaze for him! And if he should lose his hair, I'l get toupees for him! And should | drop dead, ‘When my will is read All will go to the dog that t love!DON MARTIN DEPT. PART II4 8 Wee Color so RUD * we Guarantee it in ee ee ooo wnttes RCA Avice FOR Ey, inate WAVE . ‘70k 4% HA ee All a = LS See Your Ft ae weetone Dealer Today!Constipation | Take EX- LAX for that ) ‘GET UP AND GO" FEELING/ Ge G Wttncting . °. Dying fe ore ene When woaretie mip ee for a Ul f ty 2 CAMEL Bw > CQ a Va Se.Problems Forever \ Westinghouse ae inghouse NEVER LET YOU DOWN! ind Your Vacation SINK YOUR | LIFE SAVINGS ; INA BOAT ! — ae SZ = a | Tne American foating Association 968 Will be another | ther 7 | dreamed | was way out front ; SMASH-UP YEAR q maidenform bra | Westinghouse... mos sour C Umpordant moduct !‘THE SURLY BIRD MAKES US SQUIRM DEPT. Remember when it was important to be sweet and likeable in order to make it “big” on Radio or TV? Remember when warm, sunny people like Perry Como, Arthur Godfrey and Ralph Edwards ruled the airways? Well, forget it! The big Radio and TV gimmick now is “Rottenness”! Today, the masochistic public can't seem to get enough of Alan Burke, Joe Pyne, and who knows how many hundreds of other rude, outspoken local personalities around the country who conduct interview and telephone shows. Well, make way now for the rudest and rottenest Television personality of them all, as MAD switches on THE JOE NASTY SHOW ARTIST: JACK DAVIS WRITER: LARRY SIEGEL [Wecone to "he doo Nasty Show” ..the program Heaseaseeood's ou! se aineiseuad stern het i a Al ight, about our gues meup tonight. O'@y, J [ took] [ATumy thing happenedto me onthe way tothe uo) [Okay saree eet te eect borausstiernot [| 1% |e | sought) [| tonight lran crera horse mith my car-twontsay || so, fepesting tryst Eleabeth Taylor, Richard || guess TolsyeuC!myhotel oomie smal but os ikea garbage 4 much Burton the seats, Liberace, rimy Dave [| peovieto_[] dump. wort say the weather in New Yorks bad but [ior he se Prank Sinatra, Tne'Seven Satin arosy [nave |) [ahanaadupt Yesterday 412 people died of fost jokes | i eh Wenrey hey wl nt be oni = Oh, they begged me, but | said no dice! And you know why | turned them down? Because I aww you people out there want them! And if {YOU think you're going to have pleasure at ‘my expense, forget it, Charlie!SNS SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADUP! Stop that stupid applause or I'l clear the studiol ‘re going to have a wonderful show tonight. As your Announcer, who has been with you throughout your whole ‘show business career, and as your elosest personal friend, who once saved your fein a mine field during World War I fired! ee You're | mean it, creep! Get lost! And take some of the importa issues of the day wi | totes he po o-%/ Okay, Joe, telephone |) [Hello! Who? Listen to me and time. Time to discuss || listen good, you stupid broad! | thate you snd everything you stand for, and i you ever call Ine people at home, Oh, i] me again, I'l ram your phone ‘down your throat! Who J [My wie! Now wos J bringon tne ta eo 6 ‘Before our next eal, Joe, I've got a message from the ‘makers of Mygrin Mouth Deodorant. Folks, do you... Joe, please! It's one of our ‘sponsors! He's paying thousands of dollars for this 1 minute spot. He's helping. people fight bad breath! ] rd rather smell bad breath than this ‘Bunk! Now bring on the first guest! Iden't'm your frst guest, Mr. Nasty. My name is Dr. Harris Saint. | have ‘Aw, shut ‘spent 30 years of my life working on a cure for Cancer. | have never ‘made a penny on my work, but | don't care. Saving mankind is my ‘only dream. Perhaps you've heard ‘of me. I'm called “The Saint of Western Civilization.” ‘nd now, Joe, here she | [Dolinks, i's so wunderful [und you, you is, that adorable beink back here again. Hite devi IRoumanian, La La LaBore!| | Let me kiss you, sveety! ss EZ. x ‘eutie beauty, Joe. Undo spec! be se & Does fe aways] [Nowed Up tnow, ts ‘orichenay Joon Me paneh women] |" arane omen’ | JOE WILL BE ‘ : =~ RIGHT BACK! DON'T SWITCH THE DIAL OR HE'LL BRAIN YOU! NS . NE py RgThis i fu Welcome back] [Gh nol Not anomie one] [AN igh Mr Nas, esr, hee go "neJoehany || tose te dog ect || bt plese caret. | | Marlon tere | amos el | ono Show nto | | Outtout.GoneunetneEa| [rhe dog every sma] recs Seldon ana | ute sting || "Shaw" Tone for your viewing | | Sullivan Show where you | | and delicate and there goes Rosie... | /—>/—"— |) again tomorrow nd nis trainee || ity Music Hall stage!” || “stepped on Myron! | ey eI | But stay ott my show! | & eS ae }) | cecices that | [4] Tur him off! lust don't feel 42 like leaving! [Ae Good morning. It i 6:30 A.M. and this station officially begins is broadcasting day with the Morning Meditation, This morning! would WLENOT BE) PR PLAYED FONIGHT. | ee |WHAT WILL HERE WE GO WITH ANOTHER RIDICULOUS BE THE MAD FOLD-IN ULTIMATE First came short skirts. Then came mini- IDEA IN skirts. Then came micro-skirts. If this “Mod” trend in fashions continues, there “MOD” will be only one design choice left. To find out what this daring and bold new FASHIONS? concept will be, fold page in as shown. Cat FOU THIS SECTION OVER LEFT BB FOLD BACK SO “A” MEETS "8" PETITE GALS WEARING THIS ULTIMATE IN MOD WRITTEN & ORAWN FASHIONS WILL LOOK VERY APPEALING. BUT BIG BY AC UAEEES GALS WILL HAVE TO STEER CLEAR, OR INVITE LEERS INSTEAD OF SMILES, ADMIRATION AND RAVES Ab 4BMAD’s Great Moments In Politics - > gt Gf