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    Revista MAD nro 134

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    Revista MAD nro 134

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF or read online from Scribd
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    Download as pdf
    126 views52 pages

    Revista MAD Nro 134

    Uploaded by

    Lucho
    Revista MAD nro 134

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
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    AD * MAD : SURVIVAL RAFT DESIGNED ESPECIALLY FOR USE INTHE SOUTH PACIFIC AREA SNAP GRASP ZIP pyLt NUMBER 134 APRIL 1970 VITAL FEATURES i vil ie MIDNIGHT Maniy « TY Pilot is a Kamikazet WOWBOY =Alfred E, Neuman (MOVIE SATIRE) WILLIAM M. GAINES publisher ALBERT B, FELDSTEIN editor Pg.4 JERRY De FUCCIO, NICK MEGLIN astocite eters JACK ALBERT lawsuits GLORIA ORLANDO, CELIA MORELLL, JOAN ZECCA, ‘CURTIS ANDERSON subscri CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS AND WRITERS FROZEN FOODS THAT DEPARTMENTS FAKE.OUT BERG'S-EYE VIEW DEPARTMENT Toit The Lighter Side of Money 18 * CREDIT RAIDING DEPARTMENT — ‘Ads We Can Look For After The Next Space Mission .......88 DEFAMATION OF INDEPENDENCE DEPARTMENT ‘You Know You're Really On Your Own When. 36 DISH-ENCHANTMENT DEPARTMENT ‘SPRAY CAN Frozen Foods That Fake-Out Fresh 12 SPRAYS: WE'D LIKE DON MARTIN DEPARTMENT TO SEE The Fitting 1 Pg. 16 One Night At The Fights 44 ECCHTOPLASM DEPARTMENT “The Ghost And The Mrs.” Misses (A MAD TV Satire)......27 EVERYBODY'S GAWKIN' DEPARTMENT “Midnight Wowboy" (A MAD Movie Satire) ... 4 1 REMEMBER, GI'ME GIMMICKS DEPARTMENT | REMEMBER Hints For Special Occasion Gifts .......00seeccseeveees 84 THE WONDROUS JOODSTOCK FAIR) JOKE AND DAGGER DEPARTMENT Pg. 24 Spy Vs. Spy ; : see 28,98 LETTERS DEPARTMENT Random Samplings Of Reader Mail 2 MARGINAL THINKING DEPARTMENT Drawn-Out Dramas by Aragonés PSSSST! DEPARTMENT “THE GHOST ‘Spray Can Sprays We'd Like To See ..... 16 Fe ESES RHYMES OF THE TIMES DEPARTMENT va a MAD's Modern Up-Dated Mother Goose: 43 SPLENDOR ON THE GRASS DEPARTMENT Remember, | Remember (The Wondrous Woodstock Fair). .24 THERE'S NO STOOL LIKE AN OLD STOOL DEPARTMENT Progress 18 "*Various Places Around The Magazine aes MOTHER MAD, 197, Vel. Na 1341 ere Pg. 43 AN AFTER-THOUGHT T have frequently had a burning desire to write « long infuriated leter condemn ing you for one of your controversial articles, But every time, after I think about them, 1 realize that your criticisms are ied. So I am writing thie letter to fommend—not condemn you. Keep up the reat work. K. Cunningham Jefferson, Kentucky FOREIGN READER MAIL Barting the poor spelling and gram- mar, T found four Letters Department selections in MAD #152 to be of a much = intellectual calibre than usual. Coa: Henry C. James Denver, Colorado Gee, it wor all Greok to wsl—Ed EDUCATIONAL AID 1 had to write and tell you how much 1 cenjoy reading MAD. have been teading it since grade school, and 1 still enjoy i even though 1 am currently working on my Ph. D. in Mathematics, Isnt ie ama lng what they are accepting into graduate school these days? Anyway, thanks for ‘any yeuts of sheer delight H, Coben Jr Philadelphia, Pennsylvania BLASTING LETTER When I went out co our lewer box, 1 gor the shock of my life. Ie seems char, Somehow, I received some of your mail. (See enclosed photo. Also bill for one new ail box.) Roger Wats, Nashville, Tennessee 1, REQUEST FOR A SPOOF T have decided that you guys are dead. beats, Each issue, I eagerly pick up MAD, and so faz you haven't done a spoof of my favorite weekly TV show, "Here Come ‘The Broads Bridger Hanley Hollywood, Calif Because there alreedy it @ crazy spoof of that show! Ife called “Here Come. The Brides"! Ed ‘THE ACADEMY AWARDS SHOW WEDD UKE TO SEE Your “Actdemy Awards Show Wed Like To See” was the greatest satire you've done. Congratulations on a perfect art job by Most Drucker, and on a hilarious wait ing job by Larry Siegel Eliot Jacobowite Brooklyn, N.Y. "The Academy Awards Show Weld Like To Sec” was sickening, gross, in poor taste, badly writen and ot ft for my garbage can. As a matter of fact, ic was exactly like today's movies! Congratula~ Peter Cole Baltimore, Maryland REVOLUTIONARY IDEA MAD Magazine thrives on exploiting. the insensitivity, blindaes, fears and neu: foses of a warped and frustrated socievy. ‘America needs to take a feesh look at its entire gamut of values and morals. The Winds of change must blow. MAD is the incarnation and epitomy of the falsity of the American way of life Ie is che status ‘abo, Te is the mirror we can leer at our Selves in—but it shall be shattered soon. BK. State University of NY. at Stonybrook, N.Y. Hey, guy! Be eareul you don't de friends along with your enemies!—Ed, 2 your THE MONTH BEFORE CHRISTMAS My thanks and congratulations to Frank Jacobs and Don Martin for thee satirical, but unfortunately true look at the com: imercialized "spisit of Cheistmas”, (Tbe Month Belore Christmas, or a Now Sched ed Visit Prom St. Nicholar #132) As tay" to Mi Sight and courage in depicting the shame ful practices of Department Stores at Cheistmas! Wayne. Tilden Covina, California is worth my time to sit down and write to you about your atice, “The Month Before Christmas” because 1 be lieve itis the fist time that anybody or any magusine has tld the rel ruth abou Christmas greed and corruption. MAD Magazine should get a Pulitaer Prize for Truch-Telling’. Thank you for a sensa~ poetic be add, brilliant piece OF wor Steve Taylor Kerman, California ‘Thank you for exposing one ofthe most disgusting facets of our "American Way of Life’ — The Commercialization of Christmas, Please continue to. publish articles like this and. pethaps the people ff our counery may see what they are be- ing led into. Paul Plicsch ‘Torrence, California Great! They ought to hang a copy in the window of every Department store im America Steve Agnew (No Relation To The VP: Grent Falls, Montana CONDEMNER REPORTS As a Home Economist, I used to est products for a well-known magazine Your "Condemner Reports” is, beside be ing hysterically fanny, extremely close to the TRUTH! Marie Cleasley, BS, MA. San Francisco, California MAD's version ofthe typical consumer magazine, "Condemner Reports is rated a NOT ACCEPTABLE” Ic was actu ally funny! This is aoc in che usual MAD Tradition Dave Williams Tron Mountain, Michigan ‘A MAD LOOK AT PROTEST DEMONSTRATIONS Sergio Aragones's MAD Look at “Pro: test Demonstrations” was a brilliant addi tion to your January issue. When itcomes to choice satire, you really know how t0 pickee! Don Mayberger Prairie Village, Kansas wwitertenttemet’™ — | WHY NOT HAVE THE NEXT ISSUE eee | SENT DIRECTLY TO YOUR HOME? ‘Tony Russomanno Operations Manager WAYN Radio Wayne Universiy Detroit, Michigan Although you covered many grievous fault, you neglected to. _mention the tuoubie @ person has to undergo to finally Convince the Telephone Company that all Ihe wants isan ordinary black phone in his place of residence, It was quite frustrating to spend over an hour convincing one of their salespeople that T did not nced a chartreuse Princess extension phone ior stalled in my one-room basement apart Paul Lister Manhattan, Kansas Although your article was delightful, you neglected to expose the Telephone Company's greatest attnbute: its fore sight! After it had me spend five months routing 2600 cables through a different Ceatral ofice, the building that housed it was condemned, How about that!? Joha Costello “Trunk Assignor The New York Telephone Co. Your picce on the Telephone Com- psy was aot very fanny. Ie waste literal feuth, But, while other readers may feel that you guys are courageous © print such — use eaupon or dup 4 pte, fim not handing out any medals ‘You probably figured the they cane screw Wich i dango clin, Lt me 485 MADison Avenue NAME. oe NIG TEER We TnGaS MEDRESS: Brooklye, New York | | enclose $6,00*. Enter my name on RECORD-OREAKER your subscription list, and mail me —_—z1p-code Inthe las fous years, have nor missed | the next 15 issues of MAD Magazine. ‘one copy of MAD, And in all thac time Trane sy that have seen one ace that ect Money Or Cac em on 9 has not had something to say of impor derision tbe prveesed We cone ance enn sera veugER on wank ont PRCPeAS Spring Valley, New York ——— — Yoh, but how obout this lettr?-—Ed. ; m4 : 2 eat of shales (OVERHEAD of dred £ Neuman, Pleate address all correspondence to clean , Serica wenn MAD Dept. 134, 485 MADIson Avenue ireET for traming er wr can et yous y mang New York, New York 10022 S 2ab for 1, 806 for 3, $1.00 for 8, $200 for 27, oF $4.00 for 61 (ich shosld jst about clear out sheres) te: MAD 485 Mabison Avenue, New York, New York 10022 Well, Sam m'leaving’ Texas, an''m do plenay of hugein’ an ssin"! EVERYBODY'S GAWKIN’ DEPT. The following article is rated “G”...which means it's Okay for General Audiences, However, the following article is a MAD satire of an “X"-rated movie which means the movie is dirty, and Children Under 16 are Not Permitted to see it. Which further means that if you are under 16, you couldn't possibly have seen the movie, and therefore you cannot possibly enjoy this MAD satire ARTIST: MORT DRUCKER Be careful, Joe! New York hugein’ an’ kissin Fight here! How they gonna know rm from out of town? "saved up all year an Bought m Besides. with my ||” so, 10 of it. So use your dopey, under-16 head for a change! Don't laugh at this article if your parents are around, or you'll give it away that you lied about your age and sneaked in to see t (Incidentally, if your parents laugh at this article, it means they must have seen the m you can ask them what in heck they were doing, going to see a dirty movie anyhow!) Here, then, is EY Vier. B Why don’tyou | the big city, sont J] amuse yourselt SI ‘oy thinking up out that! Let's z Sede Aor —— = | Yeah, but want Geel New york shor | twouldn't | ‘Don't be so impationt with | | be the BESTE , ‘sanuntrendiy | | know, Dummy yourself, Joey! You already. || -—— ” | town! isn't New York J got seven girls into trouble! “Well, you stil ‘an untriendly town? H That's only three shy ofthe [| got two whole days County record for August! || left! Work ait ae Wee K ware 2 = Hey, driver! tim al Golly, gee, New York s such 2 heartless ci Hey, mister) || John Lindsay— How many more * why nobody wants tohelp this man?!) | are you okay? | and you must hours toNew | Twent epee 3 your , York City? it of your ~ hs, \ e of town! oa & eel ey eG» ae ‘Hmmm! Next time, | think I'l ery the direct approach! | [What Rappenea?—"You must've done somethin’ —" 3.0017? Dummyit a “IT "| she's a New Yorker! [[Teunnot she \—" All did was charge her ‘She gets hickies |[esrew me outt[ | $3.00 each for two hicks! WHOLESALE! Ke Y'know what, Joe Cluck? You need » promoter! An’ |, Ratface Ratfink, just happen to be the greatest promoter in New York City Hey, Rube! || wnat 60 look ike? inva great overt | | a Arona Need Loving? / Te \ Joe Cluck | Missing & nuccine ha y Qurs 2 ‘ez ve PG A L No Waiting! [Ian make you famous, Joe! You'libe the toast of the nation ... + You'll be immortalized in coment outside Grauman’s Theater...» 2 wanna thank the Academy for this honor! AR A teanne thank my two lips, without whose SIA help, this would never have been possiblet J Hm gonna introduce ‘you to.a guy who's fooking tor a talent Hike you! Justa’me * | $20.00 for my jee |[ Just E 7 0, stare [Sova i: \ ame 10" | n LUsten, Joey! Will you {do me a favor? When we're ‘in Miami Beach, will You eall me by my right name ~- Ruggerio Ruccicil? Fildo you bigger favor, Rattace! When we're in Miami Beach, IMicall you by an ‘even better name Irving Weinstein | mean it, Gladyst Ho's fantastie! But you'd better hurry up and take up your ‘mind? 've almost got him booked solid! Wednesday, he kisses the Ladies Bridge ‘Club! Thursday, he gives hickies to the PTA! And Friday, he eatering a Wedding! "iL get the money, Ratface— somehow! ie (pes Wi er a ea Ie oe eet eae SE eae maf just sit there Teacher, and | want | and stay awake | ‘TO STAY AWAKE someone, just once, IN out the Federally GTHAT!! ||| Reserve System!) ‘$207 ust lst r a tayoul ‘Vm lecturing! SS - » id OS3 i The fallacy of Keynsian Economics is simply..- | a Yes! We're almost ‘OH-OHti < | a 4 z q| =| Z| 3 5 DISH-ENCHANTMENT DEPT. When “Frozen Foods” were first introduced, the innovation was greeted by housewives with wild| y. But all that has changed. Today, “Frozen Foods” are looked upon as a housewife’s| "! Today, if a housewife serves her family “Frozen TV Dinners” or other Frozen Dishes it means she’s lazy and she lacks imagination. In short, when the family sees “Frozen Foods” MAD‘S FR THAT FAKE MAD'S FROZEN BURNT VEGETABLES CONTENTS: One pound of burned carrots- RGM as Taal ant salar aeons and-peas, plus one packet of carrot- iiaunea Naeem anrepainm cba td ‘scrapings and empty pea pods, plus one RATT TL ace cannon ei miniature spray can of “CHAR-SMELL”. (SaseM MRIS es a et lon the table, it knows that dear old Mom has spent the afternoon watching the “Boob Tube” or playing “Mah-Jongg” or picketing the local School Board. However, thanks to MAD’s inventive genius, we can now offer Mom a solution. Now she can enjoy the convenience of Frozen Foods and still maintain the status of a woman who does her own cooking! All she has to do is start using EN FOODS OUT FRESH PHOTOGRAPHY: BY IRVING SCHILO WRITER: SY REIT DIRECTIONS: Hct contents of pack sof package comments like: “Waste not oh Perfectly good food” oF "Think In 350° oven for 15:20 minutes, ng to tble whl Want not” er “i's Ff oll the people le making cheery ees ser MAD’S FROZEN NON-RISING “WOMEBAKED” CAKE CONTENTS: One three-layer chocolate cake, guaranteed to remain flat and soggy; and one plastic container of special “runny sauce”. our special rumty sauce" over top, and while cee MAD'S FROZEN SwWEWVER AGAIN” CONTENTS: Three pounds of quick-rozen chicken salad, PLUS one packet of “Kitchen Mess” containing assorted carrot greens, radish tips, celery stalk tops, etc. PLUS two pre-bloodied Band Aids. a, >< ——— Gretlcodied Gand Aids on fgers to simulate chopping cuts, and “Boy, you work all day to make it, and it goes in two minutes!” ee TEE TE ee THERE'S NO STOOL LIKE AN OLD STOOL DEPT. pe PROGRESS pssst DEPT. Today, we have deodorant sprays to eliminate every type of odor. But what about the odors we don’t want to eliminate? In fact, what about the odors we'd really like to have around if only we could? You'll see what we mean as MAD presents an assortment of FOR THE PERSON WHO DRIVES AN OLD BEAT-UP “NOTHING” CAR FOR THE MAN WHO NEVER GETS INVITED TO ANY PARTIES FOR THE WOMAN WHO = WANTS TO IMPRESS © HER SNOBBY FRIENDS ‘Spray “Posh Spot” on couches, chairs ‘earpets_and drapes. “Posh Spat” dries to form. clearly visible stains “that comes. in "Sc FOR THE EX-URBANITE WW) WHO misses THE yy | ExXciTiNG ciry “City Scenter” brings those nostalgic smells of the great Metropolis that You miss so much right into your new fuburban home. Exhaust fumes, factory Smoke, garbage and raw sewage ‘floating fon the river are’ at your finger tips, ARTIST: GEORGE WOODBRIDGE FOR THE MAN WHO SUFFERS FROM HMMM FEELINGS OF INSECURITY wl the kitchen again, cooking, clean fand taking eare of her “hile fell : FOR THE DROP-OUT WHO NEVER GOT TO GO TO COLLEGE can pass as a college student jou are a college student—only thicken", now you can pass as pin contains the subtle aroma of Mace, and for status, there's nothing wwace ——— FoR CHILDLESS COUPLES J WHO LONG FOR THE JOYS OF PARENTHOOD “Kute Kids” supplies authentic smells— like ‘wet diapers siting in the can on hot Summer day, boiled-over formula, Tancid strained spinach, bibs soured by spitups, and rubber’ pants full of bam/s-all the delights of a new baby without the erying and ight feedings a FOR THE SMALL ‘APARTMENT DWELLER WHO CANNOT HAVE A DOG "Now you ean enjoy that warm, wonderful, sickening “doggie smell", even if your apartment is too small for a pet. Also great for spraying on the soles of your Shoes to give You the feeling youve been walking in exciting New Yerk City, WAITER: STAN HART "7 BERG'S-EYE-VIEW DEPT. THE LIGHTER SIDE OF... on) [Teme aivayseet] Yourpiacelsinthenome, ) — [~tithedamedittm s wurst] | vajoblthe extra. | washing the floors and doing| | gonna let MY wife wor eteartcaiak it | etey wend toed [lonthe matey teary [OH My Gost) (ssarc] (vn down! that's | |W. : = ) : That's). [Ard another tina! i (Now you fe won't have the mon still ne neyou $9y You CAN PUSH. noreasonto | | getit ndwewont | | reason aked without - TH panic butt teatime | ["taoon’) [gape] [%, ‘Stee | enetaie | | ther | | per arte - y Wve got | (Er.-n0,) — (How about this 7S [otcourser) Wh 47, A ty has Noles ARTIST & WRITER: DAVE BERG She gave me] Don’t bother! Sainer90] | Yvmeses roturnit!_) (tomsentste z V ies trom Okay! Okay! ten conts here and ten cents there that {Boyt Don't ever z| Into an argument with that guy! HE | "rigs birt ens EL ‘MY FATHER IS BIGGER ) ‘So, AN’ MY FATHER WAS A HERO | | Big MY FATHER IS STRONGER 1h 1S A SCOUTMASTER! AN’ MY nascent < S$ ; ( Yeezht Nowadays, you can't ) } tellag nodern bank | [feria ‘But then, why shouldn't th [They're both nouses of worship! [Seyoiisesiodiesana] (Turon) (Seymour) (wien) [—That_) { YeatiaibenGhanes | (cc ANONYMOUStYi] genteman currant] | ittand, | |Ginstoe, | | rurd pledge} [eenttoman| | Kreabanoraas” | —~—vontosert isa worthy one! Do! page| | twenty Haventon Rad, Busby, he J [tetas | “donarst ‘Ono, pleceorWVE a peearers HUNDRED BOLLARS pledge? Vogue 2 | oferder and it = won't even give me back my change! 5] (cass, .) (Aes, | Phzeciease) [wownsonar) Geriverpye0 Tymountese| [cakeimcchine]| | qtenea ney latCrnanmoney] | ewoutsbe Tecgensnt) (omen | | Sucre [Pounincourit fy Loustarden | 4) Vay RI ‘Oh, good! There | (Yourmad money? You mean) ( Notat alll ) (Any girl, my foot! It's +t] [How would you know Yyou Brought money along in | | it's standard | | your way of saying Jou're EXPECTING a faht ae itsrrora tmaan a thing oy ts || WHAT tone of vee minute thought || “sasewe have en argument || procedurefor| | that Vm vetigerent | | Anat relly dent ime] | im us Youre Vatorgotten | | endyounaveto gethomeby | | "any gion and | start the tone of woes || protably tone de imy'"madmoney"t|| “yourself That sounds im | ate! fights east you're wang!” J Jou dumb bros “ FS fens, | [Laeatns, | Cavvereos) (aie) (mren,(mamene) [ne] crn dais | | setimaniy | (eveemen) Eset) |eohtcn cow] "aswect™"| [tty var UP htm ese \ thatthe nextear| | we're gonna bet, tocome aroun" | |"iets maveita thecomerisa | | ition tition =, station wagon! | | zillion doliars! wt y That won't be necessary! Hil pay easht Very good! May | nave your charge pate, — itis? [ase wu e ts it Madam, that dress is You! Vv lets Cottage Salad and coffee! May!) (Tihave take | | aCottage your | | Cheese order, | |Salad and please?) | coffee! [There was atime when it was easy going to a festaurant! Ap was, 10% ofthe cheek, and twas simple to figure! Now it's 15%. .and who can figure 15% of — verwurst on rye ‘You're spoiled rotten, that’s | what you are! You dort know how good you've got it! I'm far too generous with you! Who are you to throw money away! THAT'S why welll never bericht ‘CASH?! Y-you mean m-money?! (Oh! Un—novody showed me how Hmmm il nave a lady, that dre ‘only ehargel your hips a totake cash (Vinowt Bot with what |youcreerea; and the Liverwurst, itcomes ‘to exactly $4.00! } [vseseae Butyou TE Lt a (ou've come to expect things!] You take things for granted! | _ Uke your allowances, for example! There you nae every Mon It's a slipped aise: You'l have to be hospitalized in traction for a while, then wear a brace and undergo ‘eatments! I'm afraid it will eum nto some ee) Gee, to tell you the truth, ess exaggerates litte too much! [And 15% of $4.00 can figure! Mee Don't worry, Doc! We can afford i) We're richt My wife ean give you a penny a5 2 down payment! {Taon't believe itt Lookow) (And that pair of binoculars! cheap everyihingis in this | | We'd save at least thirty dollars on that! And this transistor radio! We'd save ‘atleast ten dollars on it! ‘and fend me some money! ey! any money! Hey, Mitton! ear a Boy, that Why?! He ) [Not But there's $3.75 Bea good guy ‘ illend | | Mitton sure aidn't inhiscoatt ve is. good lend you Hear Tput a dime anhour? parking! back here in an hour! inthis || ‘That's Space farten cents gambling || parking ours ‘thors GaMBungt | | machinet_}|_ meter a — eV ; d f LE, | Hold ita | [That's not { [And what happens iva) (SEEM The City is betting minute while || a gambling Cityis simply it \don'tget | | two: ine | | me two dollars to my ‘machine renting you parking] | backherein || forovertime | | ‘dime that won't get JOKE AND DAGGER DEPT. PART! ‘SPLENDOR ON THE GRASS DEPT. REMEMBER. THE WONDROUS WOODSTOCK! i REMEMBER MUSIC FAIR === Tremember, I A ‘on waking up, ‘That all men were my brothers; That I'd been joined throughout the night By forty-seven others Iremember, Lremember, ‘The wondrous Woodstock Fair; But waitT haven't told youo The rock that Iheard there; Td really ike to fil you in, But much tomy dismay, The closest that I got to it Was seven miles away! Do you believe-in ghosts? No?! Then you won't believe this television show! In fact, even if you DO believe in ghosts, you won't believe this television show! It’s about a young widow who rents a cottage that’s haunted by the ghost of a dead Sea Captain. The widow sees the ghost ... but the Maid doesn't. One of the Widow's two Children sees the ghost .. . but the other doesn’t. The dead Sea Captain's Nephew sees the ghost ... but any visitor doesn't. The Television Audience sees the ghost ... but—Hey! Wake up! We're talking to you! We want to tell you more about just how badly “THE GHOST AND THE MRS” MISSES “Would oo Sj | - rae = Is there , SS you ike el Snigger! [Not ANYTHING|T Tittert | Yes, r'alike |) youwant me more thank || Guftaw! j|eoffee,} “smirkt || nowt } Bellow! || you'd |; Yack! || todojustone || laughter SES MIS || Gigele! |) you, | Cackie! {| then? F shi Tike? |) Grint | i Maybe | Roart |. show witn the |/once every Demure? |} Laugh |) Martyr = Srexd) dubbed laughter|| sixweeks cominginonly || oro, | atter the really | that's. | [bia you saye Oh? Somenow Upstairs! They'tlbe | { Good! | rat] | down as soon as they || They eee Mrs || you used «tat || that 4 Ertat]| Snkot some ware | | wo eek ater || “more moras |v! || noes anetts || YX Why do you put | Idon'thave | tupwithtnat |] pore geecea jonesin | |Something|| it seemed lke tewith that “11” That's KEELHAUL hert_|| ANY bones: na Fact | || Ancwny dont youn Bomure! se | our own usinset ute were on MY a re H mainly because) © _"_]] when you said | say that will win our || down |f Shssfa || simayemakingwroubet) Fat ven b ithe at val] 2 | tts ang the hears clin.t || “dont impos hove ci HAVE a body! 9 of cur TV audience! decent bone in Your body! j Martyr [ } a your body! = y ur “ur There you goagain, Well, doyou | | Did you say [> You seem to say Because] [ bisyousay | Captain! Do you want [| wantto go ||. something. |] thatan awiul || you something, Togoalithrougn | sirthrougn | [Mee Demure?| | totties || sayit rs: Demure? | 10's gota lifer? a it Why is it very. 1 IT'S SUNNY CE strange, Martyr? } OUT TODAY! Gt ip e — Whi Helio! We were driving down this Well, we just But if you're lonely Maine road and we couldn't ft placebe | rentitfors Interested in buying help naticingyour charming cottage forsale | season ata it, you should ‘with al its flowers and shrubs and | byany [ftime—depending] | contact the dead ‘cables andlights and cameras... | chance? J ontheratings! | | Captain's living but fates nephew, Claymorgue Grogs DN People don't stand a | |something?|_|SOUNDED | |"be too surprised if he ieeertainiyis host of a chance of just like ‘cts ot strange! faving an inteligent thatwas | = = Yes, | said conversation with youl] Yee. | | wnat you makingthatrackes! | | Ssunny |) Soi i ef Now, look Captain) | | Er—did = oh? Ut By the way, when you | sure hope the Kaockitattalready! || yousay [] yest it meet Claymorgue, con't 1 lace is for sale! On, contin I'sotar, youve Lana Notanother [Sone avout] sarily ‘eof your || maton deters] inured about lovable || “inproperty || thirysix |X . oreh just ttle treks |} poopie! |i collapsed on those |] You're each toa precious | twolovely older | ‘to have an evil thought Peoplethere... |=! inyourlittle body! | \, ri the house and. | do some mild, hysterically funny] thing lke fet the coffee pot | aes ue water by showering 2 -F than in ith a friend ele | eooarecs" p a ‘tell youhow There is now! | converted Claymorgue Grows 4 cheapt t'm calling {It _ the| ete faba Phon § TESS] scoot 'be paying ten cents a call, Where are you calling |} That’ from that you reversed ‘and I'l be splitting it Miioa een set tnenrens ‘with the Telephone Company! the charges, Claymorgue? A an you get" (] phone upsters WE ‘a | Women Howi Hanet” Bf mays | [ Sevan say there, Mrs. || chickendlivered || hate women! When that’s | something, | Demure! in|] shark or nt ; Tame s coming dom|| Rowse ery | | why you Thad a hundred || minute of Use es | Rare Mrs, Demure2| rate |_| Waitt know! ‘affection for your nephew, Claymorgue! nN ally DO care! | Letmetakea P| Howse Oh, nothing, Martyr, guess. wie, e , dear! Just—just go is cooky guess out about your work and ‘Demure? Not that | | you, laymorguet of ef felt leave me and the Vrmatraid of him! | | "Maybe t's ust ‘You were just Ane Captain—er—I mean, ie ‘Imean—terrified | | something that saying how sunny nde smeand MYSELE sone ismtthe eames || you've built up iis todayt Right sk > Soweeniim i araid,isi? || “inyourheadt The Captain isn’t Why do you feel around, is he, Mrs. | the Captain hates| [eieymoreve, | you put those | antiques back or Wi tear ang father you! "ene || ‘some coffee?

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