Struggling For Life

Mahendra Bhatnagar / 1
Struggling For Life / 2
POETRY OF MAHENDRA BHATNAGAR
STRUGLLING
FOR LIFE
Lyrical Glimpses of Life and Existence
(A philosophy of Life)
EDITED WITH AN INTRODUCTION

BY
P C K
PREM
2015
INDIAN PUBLISHERS DISTRIBUTORS
DELHI
Dr Mahendra Bhatnagar, an academician of repute, is one of the most

prominent voices in Indian English Poetry and Hindi. He has eleven collections of poetry (English) including five
distinguished anthologies in English and
again, five poetic anthologies in English and Hindi. More than a hundred
verses stand translated in French. With
a number of creative and critical writings, he has done research on
Premchand and probably, this speaks
of social perspective he depicts in lyrics. Many scholars evaluated his writings and still many have undertaken exhaustive research work on his poetry
and other creative work. In lyrics, the
poet eloquently gives expression to
Indian consciousness with a moral
tinge. If the poet wants economic
wellbeing and social equality, he is not
an advocate of inane materialism but
emphasizes a moral and spiritual order so that man tries to attain noble
objectives of life.
. P C K Prem
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I sincerely express my sense of deep gratitude to the poets,
who agreed to translate many poems into English. I fully understand
the limitations of translators but on my request, willingly offered
scholarly counsel and translated lyrics from Hindi into English. I am
indebted to Adeswar Rao, Amir Mohammad Khan, Anshu Bharadwaj, D. C.
Chambial, H. C. Gupta, Kalpna Rajput, Kedar Nath Sharma, Lakshmi
Shankar Sharma, Mukesh Sharma, Narendra Sharma Kusum, P C K Prem,
Ramsevak Yadav, Ravinandan Sinha, Shalin Kumar Singh. Varendra Kumar
Varma, Vijay Kumar Roy (all co-translators of my poems & advisers.)
for the great and invaluable help.
I am greatly thankful to P C K Prem (bureaucrat turned
academician) a distinguished critic, poet and an author from Himachal
Pradesh, who readily agreed to edit and finalize the project despite
obvious social and literary engagements. I thank him again.
Mahendra Bhatnagar
INTRODUCTION
To understand Mahendra Bhatnagar is not very easy, for
when one goes through apparently straight, evocative and
experiential lyrics he creates baffling yet simple syntax and puts
stress on understanding. At Eighty-Seven, he is energetic, vigilant
and stunningly expressive when he speaks of man and age. He
appears gentle and unpretentious but piercingly strikes an
imposing note, as one perceives lips emitting an inscrutable
restrained smile. A brilliant shine on the face amazes and the
terraces of white beard with indistinctly dark patches and broad
forehead with slowly withdrawing hairline open up varied
experiences he had. All speak of a kind of bigness, some
inconceivable largeness. He believes in panoramic vision of life,
and one discerns restrained efforts in his creative writings where
he maintains a massive structure of thoughts and feelings
together, a fantastic synthesis.
He looks back and talks of history in man and man in
history but conception of past swiftly wanders in regions of mans
hopes and future indefinite. He struggles with varied thoughts
and feelings and synchronizes each word and feeling with immense
input of import and objective. Whatever moves in the mysterious
flow of life in the world, he holds it strongly as if, and squeezes
meaning of life and existence adding primarily realistic
dimensions.
A startling hugeness in poetic outpouring confounds a
modern poet, who loves to talk obliquely and on many occasions,
depends heavily on symbols and metaphors. A cursory glance at
the book of MB stuns (and if one looks at the amazing list of
creative writings, one is stupefied) and when one scuffs fingers,
the sheer size looks bewildering. He is different from a
contemporary poet, who composes a lyric, recites to a fellow
poet, a friend or relation, elicits opinion, shares it and when he
a goal.
publishes a book of 70-80 pages, he organizes poetic recitations
and expects cheers as an apparent thirst for recognition haunts.
That is poets dilemma because he thinks he stands ahead of others.
MB is mysteriously different. It needs courage to enjoy his lyrics.
Not very long verses he writes but still a staggering number
perplexes and requires extreme patience and courage to read
poets mind.
To enjoy verses of MB can be a privilege if one wants to
know life, which everyone claims to know and still wades through
obviously cool but stormy waters of existence without
comprehending the mystery of life. He is a poet of mans
aspirations, hopes and optimism in man and again, one notices
consistent efforts where he integrates mottled elements that
constitute incompatible and at times, absurd aspects of life so
that a holistic view emerges. A journey into the subjective area
of experiences leads him to walk into the unmeasured landscape
of humankind where he establishes a tangible link with the world
of nature.
He does not run away from the social, economic and
political life of man but genuinely tries to locate and define
unity of unfathomable cosmic continuation and afterwards, a
paradoxical come back to pragmatic life, surprises. Depiction of
truth and realities of life has a touch of practicality that connects
to ordinary human life without philosophic tinge. Still he speaks
so naturally about the self, the life outside, and the existence
that require a concrete pedestal to stand firmly. This astonishing
attitude of MB not only teases and irritates but also provokes to
deliberate on the unthinkable magnitude of life.
Conflicts and contradictions determine resilience and grit
of a man and classify limitations many verses affirm. He believes
in a system with a definite code, for he has faith in the ultimate
victory a man shall attain. He understands life does not move in a
distinct cycle and therefore, vagaries in life and blurred images
of transformations for the better continue to create an aura of
triumphant situations, which recede every moment one approaches
With a very long struggling past and struggle for basis in

life that saw sufferings of pre-independence era, agonizing life
of freedom fighters, communal disturbances and sufferings of
the people under apathetic and cruel regime, left indelible imprints
upon the sensitive mind of a bilingual poet. An academician and
educationist of stature, who saw life so intimately, exhibits
tremendous anxiety for the poor and the subjugated, and
continues to aerate thoughts and feelings of the deprived
segments of society, and therefore, sincere worries find eloquent
expression in lyrics from a mundane and materialistic life to a
life of deep contemplation, disadvantages and injustice.
He scrutinizes the human world and the natural world
and here, he talks of the exploitation of nature and so,
environmental issues crop up. He appears sad and discontented
and one feels he has lost the spirit of optimism and bright future
for man but suddenly he rises up like a sphinx and asserts
indomitable fortitude of man standing against unforeseen ordeals
whether man-created or inflicted by the anger of nature. If
nature is calamitous, it is mans work, for man is responsible for
insensible and dim-witted exploitation of the natural world
creating disparity and therefore, degradation and abusive
utilization of man and nature has resulted in continuous sufferings
to the vulnerable sections while it protects the interests of the
powerful the poet laments in some lyrics.
As a student of literature, he possesses not only realistic,
caring and empathetic outlook but broods over the destiny of
man philosophically. Mahatma Gandhi, John Ruskin and Marxist
ideology oversee his creative writings, and it appears that the
great Hindi author Munshi Prem Chand has left a lifelong
impression on the poet in him. Like A. Pushkin, MB believes in the
finest exposition of virtuous human feelings, love, amity and
consciousness of the infinite values of life. He celebrates this
realization in many verses. He accepts with faith and courage,
the transience of life, agonizing losses and bitter trials. If at
certain moments, in hour of crisis, he looks inward, it is shortterm, for the real inner joy and outer contentment for the poet
comes when he demonstrates anxieties for the destiny of man in

totality.
MB poetic persona creates an image of massiveness, a
sort of hugeness as I said earlier, for he stands as a witness to
the astounding happenings of nearly a century, who collected
and treasured clear memories of the first thirty years of colossal
occurrences that changed the history of the world. An intimate
witness to the alien rule, he also suffered with the masses and so
a humanistic approach to life characterizes his creativeness that
works as a fountainhead for lyrics on nationalism, patriotism,
cleanliness in politics and picturesque chronicling of not only
experiences but also spasms and anguish of a society carving out
its identity and existence.
Undoubtedly, he is deliberate, not casual in what he feels
and writes. A unique fusion of words, emotions and thoughts
constitutes a definition of poetry for MB, one can easily infer.
He is aware of the stress and tension an age suffers in which
man lives and at this stage, a secular and universal man in poet
MB rises up to face the challenge of life in an age of
confrontations and uncertainties.
P C K PREM
April 2015
POEMS
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
Reality
A Moment
Continuity
Nay
Expectation
Ever Deprived
Lively
Violation
Premonition
Ascetic
Substance
Conclusion
Comparison
Experience
Prayer
Awakening
Realism
Player
Attribute
Enlightenment
The Delectable
Destiny-Defiance
Desired
Life
Courage
Contradictory
Lonely
Solitary
The Final Curtain
Wonder
Hurt
Broken Hearted
Renunciation
Consciousness
Relationship
Companions
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
74
Agony
The Final Request
Advice
Arrogance
Frustrated
Unaffected
Self Observation
Actually
Before End - 1
Before End - 2
Enlightenment
A Fact
Cyclical Occurrences
Self-Experience
Acceptance
Confrontation
Intolerable
An Incomplete Idol
Helpless
Aspiration Sun
Truth
A Special Thought
A Wish
To Live
Insistence
Well wisher
A Longing
A Poem Prayer
Duty
Recognition
Climax
Significant
Building
Freedom-Spree-1
Freedom-Spree-2
Unrequited Bestowal
One Sunday
Reality
Helplessness
75
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100
101
102
103
104
105
106
107
108
109
110
111
112
Self-Beguile
Desire Fulfilled
Analysis
A Wish: Unfulfilled
Gratefulness
Incomplete
Tug of War
Birthday
Failed
Companionless
Waiting
Essence
Perplexity
Understanding of
Destination
Stop / 86
Capability
Situation
Man
Answer
Exploration
Hindrances are
Challenge
As Before
Away from Static State
In Expectation
Unexpected
Destiny
Operation
Autobiography
Unwanted
Epitaph
Misunderstanding
The Art of Living
Revival
A Solemn Pledge
Even If
Self-Liking
Fragmented
Biography
113
114
115
116
117
118
119
120
121
122
123
124
125
126
127
128
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
140
141
142
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
150
The Paths Bend

Most Wanted
Unexpressed
Queries
A State of Mind
Unexpected
New Year
For Me Alone
Easy: Difficult
Day End
Retrospection
Repentance
Destiny
Alms
Faith
Life As Bestowed
Disillusionment
Point of View
How to Suffer Pain: A
Point of View
Horrified
Reality
Achievement
Farce
Misapprehension
Envy
Self-Realisation
Arguing
To The Environment
Whirl Wind
Life Context
Difference
Winged Steeds of
Destiny
Faith
Gift of a Lively Faith
Man and Dream
Life
Retaliation
Break Not
151
152
153
154
155
156
157
158
159
160
161
162
163
164
165
166
167
168
169
170
171
172
173
174
175
176
177
178
179
180
181
182
183
184
185
186
187
188
189
Awareness Within
The Irony of Fate
Recognize You Cant
Life
An Evening
Night Shall Pass Away
Unwanted
Who Could Foresee
What is the Secret
Through the Unwanted
Moments
Prayer
The Incredible
Second Birth
The Worship of Art
Vision
Sing
The Offshoot
Lose Not Your Heart
Irresistible
Suffering
Dilemma
Unstopping Feet /
Support
No Life
We Know It Well
Companion
This is Not Destination
Devotion to Song
Lamp of Life
Introduction
New Life
Destination
Conviction
Situation and Suspense
Where is Rest?
Value of Tears
Let Run Down
Destruction
Evolution
190
191
192
193
194
195
196
197
198
199
Flow of Passion
A Boon
To the Companion
Sing the song
You
Desire
Agony
Not Yet
Life-Stream
Intolerable
Appendix:
Poet Mahendra Bhatnagar
1. REALITY
2.
No end
of the path
we keep on walking.
A moment
only a moment
snatches away
Life
all of a sudden,
yes, only a moment.
Darkness
spread out on far off lands
never becomes less
even a little.
Like a flickering lamp
day and night
we keep burning.
Only a few moments are left
for me
all of a sudden on any day
the throbbing of the heart will stop.
Knowingly all
we keep deceiving death.
At each and every step
one cannot find his goals.
In life
one finds only heaps of pebbles,
where are pearls?
A MOMENT
Every moment carries

its mysterious meaning,
it creates
its history complete,
persists
again and again.
That is why it is essential,
you live every moment
to the fullest
before
it crushes existence.
Every moment
slips away silently
in a similar measured pace,
inscribing myriad disasters,
dictating its meaning.
3. CONTINUITY
4. NAY
Becoming indifferent
in seclusion,
on the experiences of my life
when I brood on peacefully.
I peep through
my inner past
extinct.
Hazy pictures,
relevant or irrelevant
devoid of any harmony,
order broken
emerges as unruly.
Well, how one can be

a stranger in a crowd.
Well, how can one bear
the sting of loneliness
in a surging crowd.
Well, how one can say
his word to anyone
in the noise
of countless voices.
Then all of a sudden

taking a turn on my own
accord
I return to the present,
to the entanglements of
earthly life.
5. EXPECTATION
6. EVER DEPRIVED
Now and then at least

someone shall love us,
All my life I was alone,

unseen
ever neglected,
totally ignored.
In a life of loneliness
absolutely desolate,
In a life
thrown out forcibly,
in a deep well,
in a life that suffered
merciless blows and assaults,
At least someone shall like us,
applaud us.
All my life,
on my own strength
I have borne,
the raids of storms.
All my life an imbroglio
remained stationary
as before.
At least let us get

good wishes,
or goodwill of someone.
In curse - scorched world
in sorrow spread all around
someone should be sympathetic
some time ever.
All my life
I bore unbearable
agony and pain,
to anyone never did I say
any word for help.
I burnt self
in the fire of curse.
In an intense electrified
suffocating atmosphere,
when the unrest resounds
heart rending,
shriek and scream,
burning in flames
the ruined life
confined in a prison.
In those disastrous moments
a desire springs up
that someone shall like us,
well, now and then.
I did not find anyone

who could soothe
my oozing wounds ,
and even for a while
the rapid hailstorm,
never stopped.
Alone I wandered
in the realm of dearth,
in home, in cities and in villages,
here and there
I do not know when and where.
7. LIVELY
8. VIOLATION
I stay on amassing pain,

O, I stay on
amassing much grief,
I stay on
amassing pain and grief,
of many-many years.
Faith in perpetual relations,

the faith of many a birth
turns meaningless,
all of a sudden.
I was awake throughout nights

and days and was awake
throughout my life,
I stay on
wrapping up my body,
with much dirt and brownish dust,
my feet were stuck in the mire.
Serpents coiled around
my neck and ankles,
I am bound by cobras,
black and venomous.
I stay on
spreading fire on my bed,
dhain-dhain
shooting out flames of fire
keeping it ablaze.
O the sense of belonging

piled up for many a year,
vanishes in a moment.
When the dam
of ethical self-restriction
breaks down,
like playing cards,
the charged electric wires,
that wind
the self-imposed boundaries,
suddenly become lifeless.
Boundaries vanish,
the legs resting,
the legs trembling and faltering
begin to leap forward.
Pure worship,
the hard-acquired devotion is breached.
The virtuous actions turn shallow,
the so-called truthful pledges
get falsified,
all the pledges and promises become
meaningless.
And love becomes a synonym
for extreme selfishness.
Definitions of sin and virtue
change their opinion,
deception of the union of souls,

in its naked form,
in its real form descends.
Iron pillars of restraint
break and tumble down,
he girders of discretion,
displaced are swept away
like blades of grass.
When the seism of lust
or of ardent love
makes whole body tremble,
every strong pivot
of the mind totters.
Then, the man forgets,
past, present and future.
9. PREMONITIONS
We left far behind
the half-burnt corpses
of love-relationships,
and enmities.
Screaming
and rolling restlessly,
for ages
the dying sound
has become silent.
By this time
the dried up remnants,
might have been lost
in the air,
swept away,
in countless rains.
I did not return
since my departure,
then
why the ghostly shadow,
stares at me.
Perhaps,
it is
the ultimate end
of my whole existence.
Every volcano
on one day ought to cool down,
and disappear forever.
11. SUBSTANCE
10. ASCETIC
The people are dejected so much that
they commit suicide,
in the state of restlessness,
or lose the balance
of their body and mind.
And in a perturbed mood
they weep and laugh
without reason.
Until now you are
steady, self centered, calm, alive
and balanced.
In fact
for a man, who lived in asceticism,
one finds no difference
between dying and living,
for him no difference,
between
drinking poison or nectar.
O why you are wonder-struck,

when you are of no use
to anyone
why should anyone
come to you.
Keep quiet,
bear everything,
lie down
suffer patiently
here or there.
Let someone listen to
experiences,
let someone listen to your tale,
no time is here
for anyone.
Useless to expect it,
from anyone.
It is better if you write,
on the walls of an empty room,
if you portray heart
in different colours,
Perhaps, someone at some moment,
may read or ponder over.
Or you put
your tragic tale
in any recording deck,
in your own voice,
maybe, someone listens,
sometime.
But be assured
the stink,
may not spread anywhere,
hence at once, be assured

surely the people
burying you in pit,
or entombing you,
or giving you a pompous burning
sleekly,
turn you into ashes.
Orderly
they will complete
the last ritual certainly.
12. CONCLUSION
Logical thinking
on pros and cons is essential
as far as possible,
argument should be mature,
whatever time it may take.
For judging substance
profound thinking,
logic and investigation are essential,
from every angle desired.
For whatever happened
life is stable forever,
not even a chance given
for the rectification of mistakes.
Impossible to change
the past deeds even a little.
It is true
you are the doer and the judge,
but not the controller,
you are detached
from the outcome or result,
helplessness it is.
Proved it is
life a test difficult,
at every moment
a test difficult.
Keep on observing
count every breath
accept and adopt
that lies before you.
13. COMPARISON
Life is not a book
that can be written or composed,
in a planned way
after profound thinking.
Its contents may be
divided into consecutive chapters,
carefully,
heart touching contexts,
may be sorted out.
Moves of chess begin to move,

like a defective computer
and deceive
even the controller,
then the stake won almost
turns into defeat.
Or at once
the vanished present
descends from that very sequence,
once again
like the result of an earthquake,
like its very form as before.
By self-experience and practice,

it may be patterned into beautiful
and artistic form,
making it radiant
in the glare of craftsmanship,
devoid of laxity and burden.
The tale of life
by itself accomplished or spoiled
and never linked the preceding.
None knows
what would to happen,
what is going to be moulded
and mended,
when everything
gets stained with a jolt.
In the tale-flow of life
nothing is pre-planned,
nothing is desirable or undesirable,
no premonition,
no effort and no exertion,
well thought over.
What I did throughout life

except doing
strange foolish things,
or paying
the debt society imposed.
At the fag end of life,

at the stage of catastrophe,
nearly at the end of the play,
when I stood face to face
before the truth
hung on the cross,
I experienced
countless electric shocks
dangerous sparks.
Mistakes plenty of mistakes,

I did,
and I missed
overlooked every time.
My body and mind

the twisting pain crushed.
14. EXPERIENCE
Let me say like this,

I lived,
but did I learn the way of living,
did I practice the style of hypocrisy,
and now when everything happened,
and perished
I am wonder-struck,
much astounded,
and am a destitute of wisdom.
I trusted people
close to me,
blindly I trusted.
All are amazing

everything peculiar.
my existence is only my statue,
dumb and lifeless.
Now what is left out,
Except tasting the bitter juice
of repentance.
The world does not possess
even a little,
shame and modesty
either in the past
or in the present.
And the rascals looted

my entire home and hearth,
and destroyed
the beauty and embellishments
of life.
They were hypocrites and masked,
Spurious,
in the garb of truth,
strange and wonderful.
15. PRAYER
16. AWAKENING
O sun,
the blazing red sun,
Neither I was disappointed nor dejected,

it is true
all my efforts were useless,
I could not succeed,
but I am
not at all restless.
Fill my dejected heart

with the fire of life.
Give smartness to my body,
inactive and tired,
and make it move forward.
Remove the spread out
snow and thick darkness
with your dazzling golden sunshine.
O sun,
the blazing red sun.
Every time,
let the blows of defeat become
a source of your strength,
let the mind engaged in work
be filled always,
with virility and vigour.
Let your heart
be in high spirits,
and your search for the goal
not stop.
Let your search for the object
of your longing,
not stop
any time, at any cost,
certainly , doomed you are
if you are dejected.
Ruined you are
if you are frustrated.
17. REALISM
18. PLAYER
Living life is difficult, unbearable

and burdensome.
As if
it is a dreadful ride
on two boats.
I am running without a pause,

I am running
untiring and constantly,
day and night,
night and day
panting and bewildered,
now and then falling
and rising,
yet I keep running
in quick succession,
with a crash.
There is a saw,
poison smeared and double edged,
and also a sharpened dagger,
close to the throat.
There is a noose around the neck,
bewildered at every time,
running and fighting
all around.
It looks running without a break

all my life is my fate only.
The full-moon night vanishes,

and only the dense darkness
spreads everywhere.
I run constantly,
breaking the limitations
of the time fixed,
without competing with anyone,
absolutely alone.
Living life is a compulsion,

too much burdensome.
Look how I run

fast and faster.
I swim without a pause
day and night,
night and day,
jerking and pushing
both my hands and legs
here and there,
without giving up,
I keep disgorging foam
again and again.
It is not a cool
Olympic swimming pool,
but a boiling hot water tank

emitting fumes,
on its chest
look how I swim
in utter disarray.
No other swimmer is nearby,
I swim alone
in a wavy motion
like a fish.
Now it looks it may not be safe,
my legs and hands
may turn stiff and stiffer
yet still and surely
I swim swim.
For I have seen very well
corpses were afloat
on the fleeting waves,
jumping repeatedly
high and long,
I keep on leaping and jumping
day in and day out,
like a ball I keep rebounding
Again and again.
and also to far off places,

from one room to room,
and one house to the next,
one village to the other,
one city to another city,
and from the blazing deserts
to the icy lands,
and from plains
to the high mountain terrains.
Yet the realm of high heavens
shudders at my roars,
the world of the dead is scared
to see my form.
Certain it is
every heart attack I would defeat,
and would cripple every paralysis
by the soul immortal.
Industrious am I
I will keep on living,
and will remain full of life
free and liberated.
Like a blockhead
I keep jumping and leaping
and returning
again and again.
I broke earlier records.
It looks
the scales will be small.
I lift the weights
one after another,
weighty and weightier
and take them here and there,
19. ATTRIBUTE
20. ENLIGHTENMENT
It is the man
who can face any disaster.
Bitter experiences gave me

maturity.
He plays fearlessly
with the strong blows
of hostile storms,
and with dreadful reverse currents.
The meanness of man

taught me to live rightly.
The fast moving chariot of his life,

never stops though got struck
or caught somewhere.
He, with the power of intellect
or with the might of arms
pushes it aside
without getting tired or defeated.
It is the restrained man
who can face all calamities.
Ingratitude revealed
the secret of life,
liberating me,
from the spell of fascination.
Then alone I could sing
the song of pain
when the age
tormented ruthlessly.
Then alone I could know
the secret of life and the world
when I was badly hurt
by the self and also others.
21. THE DELECTABLE

The faith-lamp
be ever lit,
a dream be ever cherished
it is enough for self-cognizance.
The wheel of life
be ever moving,
Yamas noose
be ever eluding,
it is enough for breath
and surviving.
22. DESTINY-DEFIANCE
Every instant when it moves,
construction loving hands,
and when feet give
momentum-making company,
image is then made
it also shapes Destiny.
23. DESIRED
I roved much
in the murkiness of clouds,
I wandered endlessly
in the darkness of my mind.
Carrying my sable ashen body
I rambled unceasingly,
day in and day out,
I meandered.
Now is the time
to bathe to the full
in the stream of light,
to get into the radiant waterfall of truth
and bathe for the rest of my life.
I will sink in light,
and I will swim in light,
I will let my body float,
and I will let my mind float,
I will bathe to the full.
24. LIFE
25. COURAGE
Each moment is welcome.
It is true man is powerless

before chance,
however capable a person might be
only destiny wins.
Holding my hand rises the day,

riding on my shoulders, grows the day,
out of my mind,
a new piece of writing is shaped
by the day,
out of my body,
a new creation is sculpted by the day.
Fighting on my strength
the day has been victorious.
On my living from moment to moment
lives the day,
my pace gives meaning
to the immortal time,
I am the unconquered,
a ceaseless fighting it is.
It takes only a moment

for mans creation to crumble down
so potent is Nature.
Yet, each challenge is welcome,
come what may,
incessant will the progress be
of human knowledge and science.
Before me bows
each mountain obstacle
each approaching moment
I welcome.
26. CONTRADITORY
27. LONELY
In desolate forests,
a warm welcome
to the blooming flowers
raining on beds of thorns,
flowers look mute in agony.
In this city
of glorious buildings,
of reflections of beauty
floating in luminescence,
you know none
and nobody is familiar.
A joyous, hearty welcome

to the multi coloured
nectar raining
blushing flowers.
An ardent welcome
to the succor giving flowers,
lying on gravelly
and difficult thorn-filled path.
But there is only the feel
of pricking thorns on each step,
everywhere rings their cacophony,
hurting the body
and the mind.
O creator!
do not create
a one-sided life.
Someone with whom

you can talk easily anytime,
some with whom you can share
the secrets of the heart.
Someone who is close to your heart,
and reliable.
Someone to whom you can write a letter,
and talk on phone unhesitatingly.
Someone whose door you can knock boldly,
or call out his name.
Who is such a friend,
all are unfamiliar,
all are strangers
in this large sprawling city.
Not anywhere in sight is someone
who you can call your own.
28. SOLITARY
29. THE FINAL CURTAIN
Now no one remembers me,

no one ever visits me.
It is evening now,
no one will come
forget all names.
Life lies mute

in the arms of death.
O, the heart does not make songs,
nor does it sing any.
Silent are the instruments,
no tune is played on them
nor any rises.
Those who were there are lost
on the way,
those who are tired-defeated,
and bored are gone to sleep.
Whom would one call,
whom would one wake up.
The world is strange
and we are aliens.
Whom would one visit
whom you would draw close to heart,
each is lost in joys of self,
and in sorrows.
It is evening now.
Do not lit the lamps
soothing is the darkness,
let me dream of one
who always deceived me,
the one who grew in helpless
silence of mind.
Nothing remains
to be done.
It is evening now,
let me go to bed,
this early in the evening,
unending,
scope and the range look vast,
do not light the lamps,
No one is with me,

all colours flew from life.
32. BROKEN HEARTED

When faith is lost
an earthquake
inside takes birth.
30. WONDER
Who stole the laughter of flowers
and gave a harvest of thorns,
who torments again and again,
cruelly reminding of long forgotten lapses.
Within, a massive blood-tide rises,

but patiently a man bears the hurt
of harsh fate,
lying silent and half dead
on a bed of embers,
and each moment he gets the burns.
31. HURT
A bitter taste fills the mouth,
difficult it is to drink.
Living is an obligation,
heavy is the heart,
it is impossible for me
to welcome someone,
with a false smile.
He lives and dies

against the backdrop
of shrieks and moans,
and drinks poison,
laughing insanely
faith is lost,
when camaraderie ends.
Desolate and sear is the garden,

withered and mute is life,
and the flowers seem disappeared
only the yellow leaves fall.
33. RENUNCIATION - CONSCIOUSNESS
34. RELATIONSHIP
When a simple believing man bears

the cunning and infidelity
of those near heart,
then he weeps in pain alone,
and laments over
misfortunes again yet again.
When the fortress of trust

Crumbles,
a crippled man bears silently
the deepest agony,
he gets ready to live
a meaningless life.
And to taste bitterness everyday
his remaining days are singed.
But he does not become a murderer,

nor he commits suicide,
alone he burns silently
in the hell-fires of mind,
and consoles self futilely,
again and again roving in delusion
and thus betrays the self
repeatedly.
Do not think him a coward,
he knows it well
that nothing is gained
if you curse anyone,
why one should run away
from the act of living this life.
When the fortress of trust

Crumbles or else,
annihilating self
he floats noiselessly in emptiness.
Destroying identity, he quietly says
O, do not break
anyones trust
trust is the bond,
trust is life.
35. COMPANIONS
36. AGONY
O waves of pain
how much and how long
you will tickle me.
Had my life been a waste,

I would have endured it,
in a sorrowful voice
I would have sung poems
now and then.
How much and how long

you will make me laugh non-stop.
Holding me in your arms
how long and how far
will you make me a loving companion.
O waves of pain
Cruel,
waves wounding the consciousness.
But to bear a painful experience

of septic wounds,
be scorched from moment to moment
in this flaming furnace of life,
from birth to death is killing
and harshly destroying.
The entire ocean is muddy,
nobody knows
the sins of how many births visit me.
37. THE FINAL REQUEST
38. ADVICE
Poor, extremely poor I am,

while leaving give me also
something to live on.
something that is truly mine
a pleasant sweet, dream.
O body, you are so tired,

O mind, so weak and defeated you are
go to sleep.
Thirsty, very thirsty I am,

while parting give me also
a little to drink.
let that be the clean Ganges water,
or overflowing honey.
I know I have to burn
till the last moment,
a deep darkness hangs
over the road I travel.
A lonely life is a curse
firmly forbidden are laughter and tears.
This living is hard,

existing in the howling
of violent storms,
O my sad and hurt soul,
O a deeply wounded body,
lose your memory,
and feel a bit better,
you are very tired
go to sleep.
39. ARROGANCE
To me, you gave a roof
security and respect
and a beautiful name
of a relationship,
Should merely for this
the statement be justified
Hate a sinful act,
and not a sinner.
What a sin is
and what is virtue
and what is the truth.
40. FRUSTRATED
41. UNAFFECTED
When that which was wanted

desired and longed for was not gained,
When in a green garden
spread over miles,
the desired, the loved,
and the fragrant,
thrilled rose, failed to bloom,
when lifes struggle went waste,
when misery tortured the heart,
each moment,
what the sense in living was.
For years I lived life alone

and will go on living quietly
the rest of it.
I drank poison-water
day and night
weakly in the expectation of death,
in watching the annihilating future,
everything poisoned
I will drink gladly, unbidden,
and live remaining days.
Agreed that many precious gifts came

my way and diamond necklaces too,
on countless successes
innumerable throats sang
my praise to the skies,
I received the high-test awards,
and blessings at each step,
but I did not get what I desired,
it seemed that a precious life was a waste
as if almost complete,
difficult austerities failed at the end.
The flames of want rose,
each dream was reduced to ashes
as if no ones blessings
touched the poor, the frustrated,
and the indigent beggar.
Do not worry
I am the resident of a house of poison,
and the great Pilgrimage of Shiva
of my time.
42. SELF OBSERVATION

Throughout my life
I did not do a good deed.
Like this
all live lives,
I did not have an extraordinary life.
I was lost in self,
O Creator,
be merciful and forgive me.
43. ACTUALLY
44. BEFORE END -1
While observing caution

time flew fast,
everything tidied went awry.
All that was in hand
slipped away suddenly
at every cautious step.
Memories are flowers,

multi coloured,
laughing flowers.
Every strand tore away

while sorting out
or got twisted tediously.
Every thread became taut
in the process,
gradually, at every step
of seeking solution.
Life was spent
learning life.
Vocal scores were lost
at soprano pitch
in learning the art of music.
When memories wake up

it seems each door is decorated
with buntings of mango leaves
all around.
Life becomes fragrant with scents.
life overflows
with sweet, intoxicating nectar
life glows
with bright fresh colours.
At such moments man immerses
in the sweet world of dreams,
forgetting the present.
Everywhere, everything
looks favourable,
as if branches are flowers laden
as if flowers of pleasant feelings
swing everywhere.
45. BEFORE END -2
46. ENLIGHTENMENT
Memories are thorns,

piercing, pointed thorns.
Strange it is,
days, weeks, months, years
pass in strife a wonder it is.
When memories awaken

it seems as if all around
a dust storm rages,
life burns in painful hell-fires,
stumbles and cries in wilderness,
with a stricken heart.
Man at such moments
crumbles and falls
in the dark, deep cave
and is uprooted completely.
Everywhere, everything
appears hindering,
as sharp knife-like thorns
enter the heart,
the thorns of painful
an unwanted experience.
One can control nothing,

nothing indeed,
does life mean helplessness.
One day
just like that
suddenly everything will vanish.
Do we see a dividing line anywhere
then what one can say about
meaningfulness or futility.
Existence is something
that will disappear,
birth and consciousness are something
to be dissolved,
then why this strife.
Let night and day
day and night pass each moment,
unbroken is the passage of time,
through obstacles and felicity.
48. CYCLICAL OCCURRENCES

47. A FACT
As life began
the end followed,
just when it dawned
darkness prevailed.
In the sky
with ceaseless diffusion
the rays vanished,
so an endless stream
of bright light
far and wide was visible
no more.
A loud noise prevailed everywhere
till every limit of the horizon
a crimson morning brightened up.
The lyric, the song and the love
and the beloved,
all ceased to exist.
But wait light will come
it will gush in
a new morrow.
We wished not
that in golden-silvery azure sky
of this home,
rained fire dense.
We wished not
that ignorant, innocent childhood
and immature simple youth
of this abode
longed passionately for love.
We wished not sweet melodies
of this abode be silenced,
on this land.
Someone sowed poisonous seeds
of hatred, revenge and violence.
We wished not
clouds of doom to overcast
and wash away everything,
roaring storms should come,
shake and ravage,
glittering rainbow and dream-palaces
in a moment.
But all undesired went on happening
before us,
and we could only see,
all before us in turn
all battered and shattered,
and blown up.
49. SELF EXPERIENCE

50. ACCEPTANCE
Everyman in his calamity is alone,
all the aggregate of misery
solely is his,
in moments of pain,
man is all alone.
The night of distresses
lonely has he to pass
in pitch dark,
ray of hope has he to generate.
Every hurt he must amuse,
every truth he must console.
Loneliness is your lot

tolerate it happily.
Loneliness is natural
take it desirously.
To try to escape it is aberration,
only accepting it is only a fate.
Therefore accept it willingly,
salute it whole-heartedly.
He and he alone
on each step to bear
the brunt of storms
silently has to put on the chest
brewing, gathering, ebullient
tides all around.
He has to suffer
hits of misfortune of life accursed,
on difficult path going up and down
playing ironies bitter
sports, cruel
of destiny inauspicious.
Alone and he alone has to
taste the bitter draught
and experience
the effect of poison-deadly
alone, aye, all alone,
because the fact is
that in each calamity
alone a man has lived.
51. CONFRONTATION
52. INTOLERABLE
The stones
the more I hurled
the more each sprang up,
more I crushed
The more each leapt up.
Very gloomy heart

tired body
very cheerless heart.
The mud
more I washed
more clean each was.
The soot
more I mixed up
more it smeared
more it cleared up
glittered and became pure gold.
With fetters
the body whenever
I tied tight untied it freed, flowed
north south, east - west
flowing scattered,
waved,
becoming heavy nimble mercury.
Sky full of sultriness

air stands still
suffocation, suffocation
and suffocation.
Overcast dense darkness
no where any ray
eyes go astray.
Very saddened heart,
a crestfallen heart
burn, burn
and burn.
Against each danger I sported firmly

your blow
marching forward I bore.
53. AN INCOMPLETE IDOL
54. HELPLESS
It is decided now
the life will not give you any grace,
now, life will not give you,
any more spare time.
If life is pain,
then bear its pangs
each one must.
Recalling the past days,

how long would you burn,
knotted in the opposite currents
how much would you flow,
Oh, how long would you tolerate
the strokes of the storms.
Life will not give you any more turn
to play in such a way,
it will not give you
any more verve.
let all impossible fancies show up
and warbling desires get shape,
and you would experience,
leaping loving passions.
If life is a secret,
remain silent.
If there is no harbour
Then row on certainly.
If it is a calamity
Then be washed away
you must.
If fire surrounds,
Then burn constantly,
a must it is.
How terrible a truth is
so utter every falsehood
everyone must!
Life will not give ever such heaven,

Also will not offer ever
such fortune.
55. ASPIRATION: SUN
56. TRUTH
Bondage rises as a challenge

as refusal,
and raises always
rebellion, force and resistance
blaze and anger.
May every person be a sun,

full of energy and pure as heat,
May every person blaze
like the sun,
be a flame
impartial and unblemished.
II
May every person be
like the sun bright,
punctual and a plume of light.
wherever he may go
let every particle shine,
uproot dilemma and gloom
from the room.
Bondage rises as loves achievement,

as acceptance,
and raises
infatuation , lasting binding
and graceful offering
the fire of living.
57. A PARTICULAR THOUGHT

Dreams do not come true just like that.
It takes generations to realize.
III
May every person be like the sun
radiant, full of warmth,
and resplendent.
May every person look as if,
shining like the sun.
Dreams do not turn into reality,

1
with mere words of manav incantation,
Patience and diligence of generations
actualizes dreams.
1
Maanav-Mantra: Words of incantation for fulfilling the
dreams.
58. A WISH
59. TO LIVE
Let life flow freely,

and lead to victory.
Terror fills the skies,

hot are the winds,
with sulphur, with venom.
Let each one find solace

under the tree shade of blessings.
Let there be songs played day and night
on the harp of the soul.
Let sweet dreams ever come
and bring pleasure and laughter.
Let no one be sad
and allow laughter ring.
Let each man become gold
pure in the inner fire.
Let each one bear bravely
the knocks of the unknown fate.
But up to the destination

braving storms
ceaselessly,
we have to move!
Like a flood of fire
the flames shoot up
again and again.
over crackling embers,
on lonely paths,
we have to walk,
bearing the heat,
getting singed and
being burnt!
Mines of gunpowder
are laid all over,
in the rivers, the mountains and the forests.
solitary,
we have to walk,
our iron feet pounding
the pits, the trenches
again and again.
61 WELL WISHER
60. INSISTENCE
Compel not
Man
so much that
undergoing injustices beast he became !
If evil wishes
efficacious were,
desolate this world
before long
would have been.
Or
Having borne the unending
experiences of painful sufferings He collapsed
and a relic he became !
It would have provoked

on each step
mans Durwasa-vanity1
eternal
fountain of love in netherworld
before long
would have been lost.
Compel not
Man
so much that
Life to him
became
a sharp pricking
ever oozing
gangrene !
Where are you

2
o pious Shakuntale
of curse
live muddy reaction
oh, where are you
Compel not
Man
thus to such an extent !
1. A great Rishi of ancient India known for anger and cursing

nature
2. Shakuntale (Dushyants wife) the renowned heroine of Kalidas
and mother of Bharat.
62. A LONGING
63. A POEM-PRAYER
Were it but once that we
felt ourselves risen to eminence
though for moments few.
Were it but once
that we might live life natural
putting off the mask
of smile artificial,
pining boundless is Man
for hearty boisterous laughter.
Were it but once
face to face
with the selfs expansion,
how narrow minded is Man
unfamiliar with benevolence.
In darkness filled mind
once at least
lightning could flash,
How costly has become
Cost of light.
Only playing is]
each man a jesters role
of a miser money-lender.
If only once we
our dwarfishness
our meanness could abandon
and could experience jubilation
of getting on the summit.
Wedding man
with man,
turning direction
of brewing hurricanes
of cruel violent passions,
going forward
to break the horrific
blind fury and on-rush
poetry powerful is hymn,
prayer it is.
Its voices reverberate in the skies
its meanings resound
in innocent
full of sweet melodies
in hearts passions ebullient.
May man love man
may all the world
his own family is.
Ours is this
invaluable ideological inheritance.
Poem composed in this
transcendental mentality is hymn,
prayer it is.
If only once just once we

Though for moments few,
had sensation
of being atop.
64. DUTY
65. RECOGNITION
To love this life,

this world
is what a man must do.
How ugly is the realty

of the sky-kissing rainbow-rimmed
buildings
is known to us.
To love people,
mute animals, birds, sea-creatures,
the forest creepers,
the trees,
To love
the buds and the blooms,
the myriad hued
butterflies
To love the miracle-studded,
and wondrously
incoherent dreams
to love the petite fairies
floating through the sweet fancies
How petty, fragmented and dwarfish

is the face of these heights
is known to us.
How beautiful
is the unreal and false attraction
of the fairy like young women
is known to us.
How pleasing, soft and enthralling
is the lotus leaved
fair-skinned touch
is known to us.
Familiar are we with the prick of
these fragrant nectar like moist flowers,
with the primeval burning of the body
scented with the winy lust,
How inviting is their bed
is known to us.
66. CLIMAX
67. SIGNIFICANT
Only a moment
marks the difference,
between happening
and non-happening.
A phenomenon
must in some shape appear
after all take some form,
we reach at least right or wrong
at some conclusion,
some abode , a door
some destination.
A fine borderline stretches

between being and non-being.
only a thin line lies linking laughter
and tears.
A little change,
and the expression
of our innermost feelings changes.
It is not possible
to draw the boundary
between living and dying.
Conditions are almost the same.
A desire kept alive for ages
may take shape one moment,
and may disappear the next.
A blink in time is enough
to change gain into loss.
Only a moment lies between being
and non-being.
Thus in wilderness
how long shall we stray,
thus in fire furnace
how long shall sizzle, writhe.
A phenomenon
must some shape take
some figure at long last.
Lines of set-up defined or dim
must some embodiment have
at long last some epithet,
that we could know,
directions, aloofness
and expanses.
Thoughts, abstract beliefs
be concrete,
in depths of thought-sphere,
be concrete this way or that
abstract thoughts,
so that we could make up minds,
and could dress ideas
in some language-format.
From this where or that
some ray of light must shoot,
darkness must diffuse
and we from dry-well,
should come out

at least come out,
a phenomenon,
must assume some outline
be exposed to wind and sunshine,
a phenomenon
must someone assume form.
68. BUILDING
The walls rise
like the sides of a well.
Rooms are small
like narrow streets.
In it
there is neither a garden
nor a courtyard.
Is this
a picture of modern architecture.
Or an image
of the cramped heart.
A mirror of self
trapped in self
69. FREEDOM-SPREE I
It looks
altered a great deal unusual.
it looks
yoke borne from years
is unharnessed all of a sudden.
For years
from long narrow graveled stony
undesired roads,
bearing heavy burden
on body and mind,
passed passed like an acrobat,
day after day.
On one and the same pole
climbed up and down.
Thanks, free I am now
like the wind can go
anywhere,
can fly, dance and sing.
Thanks, I am all free,
like a wave.
When I please, can ripple and twist,
lie on rocks
jump from hills, slip on verdures
run and run excitedly.
Or
stretch in a pond
drop by drop scatter.
Free I am somewhat
as if,
the door of cage
opened all of a sudden.
The parrot flapping wings
should soar high in the sky,
amongst age-group co-mates mingle,
and fondle with life-partner

Enfold, peck and kiss.
Whatever it pleased
and whenever should speak,
High or low
agog or stealthily.
It looks
entwined serpent-traps of years
were cut,
clouds of poisonous rains
scattered off.
Now,
on sandalwood trees
will blossom musky-flowers
Mahua1-like
flower clusters will appear.
What that never happened,
it seems shall happen now.
70. FREEDOM-SPREE II
Now
carefree shall I sleep
joyful shall I walk
pace up to the Janak-tal1,
no hurry shall there be
shattered are shackles
all chains.
For hours I shall bathe,
singing tuneful-tuneless songs
numerous
shall I bathe.
Where are
recordings of Pakeeza2 and of
Gitadutta3.
In nights stillness
shall play on them again and again,
hum now and then.
O plants of my orchard,
no complaint you now have,
I shall see to my hearts fill
shall water
and enfold ye in arms.
Because a lot
looks new,
and changed.
1. A tree with orange-pink edible flowers.
4
5
O Kaner , Kachnar , Guava tree,
be sad no more
O Rajanigandha6, O Jasmine,
feel frustrated no more,
your aroma
will be felt in every pore,
every breath as if
Flower-born were.
Even with intent
shall I not trample ye
O mine orchards
green grass,
I shall live nearby.
Shall lie on velvety body
full of primitive urge,
with hands soft shall I caress
O lush texture,
hey-ho
gay faced.
Every moment is ours,
Realized the dream is.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
A tank in Gwalior, a historical town of northern

M.P.State
A name of a famous Hindi film.
A well-known playback female singer.
A plant of white, yellow and red flowers.
A tree, its leaves and flowers are used as
medicine and buds used as vegetable.
(Tuberose) A flowery plant blossoming at fall of night
emanating sweet smell.
71. UNREQUITED BESTOWAL

Now, what I can give you,
except a carved
stationary statue,
except dispersed dust.
Whatever I am,
I have become
been cast,
used up many a breath,
from the assigned stock,
attained fulfillment.
It is not possible now
to indulge in
tentative hewing and carving
what would be left incomplete,
the rest will stay put pent-up.
At the present stage of life
and its fag end
me, a rising and setting sun,
what I can give you except
the warmth of a known
cuddly feeling.
You are like
the deep sea on high tide,
your burning, searing lusts are
like the infinite sky!
What can I give you
O, passion incarnate
apart from intense fancies
and an edgy thrill.
72. ONE SUNDAY
73. REALITY
The whole day

passed away in waiting,
and craving for all sorts of men.
No one came unforeseen,
none unwanted too encountered.
The whole day passed away
moment by moment,
this Sunday.
Life was a longing,

but a yoke unwieldy became
life was a firmament,
but a well dry became
fancy invented feelings full,
beauteous form,
life was an amatory ode (Gazal),
being distracted,a curse became.
None brought any tiding

good or bad,
interesting or scary.
in cogitation,
in desiring to see
one or the other,
strolling to and fro
in the rooms.
74. HELPLESSNESS
Thrust upon, undesired life, I lived
every instant, every step, shame I lived,
history, now you ask me what
folly and dirtiness of the world,
I lived.
75. SELF-BEGUILE
Early in the morning

Only the newspaper arrived,
the milk vendor
rang the door bell,
in the morning and the evening,
as his wont.
Otherwise not a leaf rustled,
even a bird did not fly
over the sky,
around me.
as a long wait
in mute helplessness.
Reality we concealed; life-long

lies we told as truths; life-long
related self-experience, as a tale
went on humming in pain; life-long.
76. DESIRE-FULFILLED
Hey, ho, what an applause I got,
life-long only deep grief I suffered,
there remained a lot of wealth of pain,
sure enough, life onerous I had.
77. ANALYSIS
78. A WISH UNFULFILLED
All debit, no credit

lifes balance nil.
The remainders are thorns pointed
what we picked up are flowers
colourless stale,
in our possession
dust, dust and dust confine less.
I wish this day

avoiding,
lifes struggle and strife
in a closed room
slumbering I would pass.
On the way, on each turn

in or out, in market
at the hands of faith
were ever plundered
from inmates and from outsiders
ever
under too sharp edged daggers
of treachery and fraud
with infinite ease
Oh, were being cut.
Peoples created, weaved
trickeries and machinations of all species
from inferiority and meanness
I much desired to escape.
But to see through
blanketing gentlemanliness, civility
put-on masks
difficult, too involved
to understand designs
to escape their fraud.
There survives not any inheritance
razed is the structure,
that
with sweat of brow we had built.
For years countless

being carefree, insentient
feeling
primordial lust and love
I slept not.
I wish this day
lying inactive inert and still,
in the art-gallery of past
being lost I would pass.
For years countless
on the ways of villages deserted
in arms of towns left
I strayed not.
I wish this day
all promises, assignments, pledges
forgetful
in Gangetic billowy
your memory
weeping I would pass.
For years countless
Confronting your face
I wept not.
79. GRATEFULNESS
81. TUG OF WAR
O, my mind
quit
the place.
Whom to wait for here
more now,
O, my mind.
I have not seen for years

sunrise, sunset.
the sky full of the moon and stars,
I have not seen,
for years, have not seen.
The day declined,

it is evening,
deep darkness surrounds,
on four sides.
My mind
accepts heartily
this solitariness
with pleasure,
O, my mind.
O, God
I am grateful to you
extremely beholden.
80. INCOMPLETE
Something remains
un-said.
Buds bursting
flowers exhaling fragrance
madly dancing on twigs,
kissing butterflies and bees,
for years I have not seen.
For years I have not bathed in rains,
neither have I sung any song full throated
nor for years,
have I seen for a single moment
mehndi1 fragrant hands plump,
dyed with Mahavar2
jingling two-feet strayed
I have not seen ah, for years.
Somewhat to such an extent
was I entangled in lifes struggle,
seeing and feeling,
as if not in the least
were under control.
1.
An evergreen shrub, its green leaves are used for dying

hands and feet by women (excepting widows) invariably on
the eve of marriage or other auspicious festive occasions.
2.
An auspicious red-coloured liquid used by Indian women to

decorate feet.
Shall I add an appendix,

or hold back.
Something unendurable
persists.
82. BIRTHDAY
84. COMPANIONLESS
And now turns

one more page
of the book of life.
One year more
of living.
Cold night
Desolation,
now and then somewhere
some tree trembles,
when
then sighs the wind,
1
or cries with pain a chakwa.
Lucky I was,
death
spared me.
Even
in the storm,
the lamp
kept burning.
None to talk deep

a very deep silence
complete
unbroken coma
absurd and hurt.
83. FAILED
The wave like
bouncing hopes in my heart
died down.
Suddenly,
the twittering branch,
of the evening
went deaf and mute.
Blunted mind
shaky body
sorrowful
pitiable palsied desolation.
Naught to say,
cold night.
1 A cursed Indian bird, which is separated from his life-partner

during the night.
The waiting wakeful eyes,

wept feebly in silence.
The mourning night,
washed the whole creation
with droplets of dew.
85. WAITING
86. ESSENCE
The night
is cold and endless,
how long
Life
deserted like crematorium,
life
accursed
arduous and solitary
like a banyan tree.
To keep awake baffles,

the night is wet,
dew-drenched,
the curse of winter.
How much more
We can bear quietly.
The shivering body,
in the fog leaves droop,
How long we can tell
the story of our agony.
Life
another name of gloom,
Life
the agonizing outcome
of past ominous sins.
Life
an experience
of noons scorching heat,
Life an experience
of throat pricking needles
acute thirst.
Life
a stasis
without source
raw gash.
Life
unwanted sannyas
mere tension.
87. PERPLEXITY
Multihued dreams seen
in the kingdom of mind,
engrossed in the erotic fancies,
false, lustful violation of propriety.
Though reveries
a world of happy heaven.
The great boon of the Earth
an optimum staircase
of possible desires.
Meaning of birth
and ever no-frills yearning,
infinite joy and creation
life-vision.
But world is a reality
how much different,
a world formed in dreams
silken soft patterns of fancies
lost in a moment.
Some one
fortunate and potent
could materialize a few moments,
by chance or abduction,
for others
mere irrelevance
narcissism.
88. UNDERSTANDING OF
DESTINATION
That day
we started the journey
before dawn
began an incessant journey,
thought
that well reach destination
definitely.
That day
in the darkness of the night,
with great faith
we started a continuous journey,
thinking that well reach
the shore
and reach without any doubt.
Passing through an uneven path
fathoming the deep ditches,
we set on our journey
with resolute will.
Admitted that our path
was beset with several hurdles,
stood,
the rupture and the slipperiness.
Hurricanes
tried to stop speed,
lightning and thundering clouds
time and again,
but we didnt stop
didnt bend before opposition.
Gradually path became clear
and one day
with pulsating heart
we reached the halting place.
Badly tired, languid
helpless and inert.
90. CAPABILITY
Steadily awareness dawns

destination isnt the end,
but is the foundation,
a gate to enter,
the stage of life,
the land for action.
why blunder
to consider it a dreamland.
It is better
to be at the same point
from where the journey began.
Life
a mere voyage,
unlimited journey
on an infinite path.
89. STOP
91. SITUATION
Life
covered
long distances.
Despite best efforts

one finds no order,
all at sixes and sevens.
Screaming and panting,

Innumerable steep heights
abysmal depths
it covered.
No knowledge of direction
a straying away.
Resonant echoes
of dawn and dusk
stopped, yes stopped,
on the path of life past,
turning into a sigh,
vanished into the void.
Life
its journey
of destinations
stands covered.
To stop momentarily for rest

is a mere prelude
of marching ahead.
Destination is far, very far,
time, little, too little.
complex
to more composite
is the thorny situation.
Not decreased,
instead amplified
the isolation.
92. MAN
Today
from the horrible savage,
man-eater wild beasts
is safe.
Man!
Not at all
feared, suspicious and worried,
of the devastating
angry expressions
of the seasons,
Man!
Man gives in to the cruel

heart-touching assaults,
man loots man
with risky sentiments.
Man miles away today
from man,
devoid of intimacy
each step hollow
only full of vanity.
Knows
how to save himself and other creatures
from the various furious acts
of nature.
Man!
Its easy for him
to reach
the heights of the void.
Its easy for him
to fathom the deeps
of the seas.
But how strange
man is the most unsafe
from man,
utterly ignorant of
the mans psychology.
Afraid of mutual trickery,
blood in eyes
hurt and angry
with mutual
venomous satirical remarks.
93. ANSWER
94. EXPLORATION
I will not at all be

humble or sad
I acknowledge the loss.
All this while

how we lived
we alone know
how horrible was
the fluttering, roasting and cracking
overflow
we alone know.
Knaves stealthily
hatch conspiracies,
wait in ambush,
how did you
strangely decide listen only
to one partys arguments.
No entreaty to you
I condemn you.
I can never be
inferior thus
Just to the nefarious satiety
of your flatterers
you stripped me
from my temporary right,
I hate and snub,
your facetious blatant,
evil wicked backbiting
and odious character.
Know identify well
it does not enfeeble a little
Implication
of life and of the world
was mysterious
to-date.
Now we know that well
Yea, very well
we know that.
Wrapping folds countless
man
now transparent is,
inside and outside
we rightly
quite truly
recognize him.
Come, let me
the saga of
panting, dying storm
relate.
Striving against life on fire
the saga of man relate.
95. HINDRANCES ARE CHALLENGE

Hindrances leave us not desperate,
every moment makes us
energy conscious.
In confrontation with difficulties
Legs waver not,
instead
having electric wings
measure the earth-sky expanse .
Impediments
Terrible, insurmountable, invincible
it is sheer nonsense.
Hindrances
dependent make us not,
hindrances
make us not in the least miserable
un-laborious.
of the prowess of man,

magnanimous, ever moving.
To accept these
Feel,
of tireless toil
long familiar
human history evidenced.
Hindrances
never leave dismayed
hindrance-killers,
they make
beliefs even more firm.
Intelligence
confronting the difficult
is never defiled,
instead
full of emergent urge
sharper it becomes.
They evoke
all latent capabilities inert
neither fear nor helplessness remains.
Lightning flashes in mighty body
new resolutions rise in mind.
Each hindrance
shall be feeble,
destroyed
and shall in the void vanish.
Hindrances challenges are

to accept them,
synonym
of humanity, greatness.
To accept these
clarion call
of lifes transcendental force eternal.
To accept these
cognizance
96. AS BEFORE
98. IN EXPECTATION
How we should know

our capacity and power.
.
How we guess
our
possibilities.
.
We live in conditions
fruitless, neutral and unfit.
Let the desert of scarcities

bloom into prosperity,
a life
full of new sentiments
may come again.
Let me sing
a strong impetuous song.
97. AWAY FROM STATIC STATE

Situations
when dont change
mobility
gets restrained,
being static,
loses exhilaration of fringy.
.
Change and break
of situations is must,
whether
new situations
be altogether against,
or be doubtful.
Let the peaks

of dense dark fall down,
let the flags of light
wave everywhere,
on the surface of earth.
Let the lamp
of sensitive sentiments
be lighted in every heart,
Let me sing the song.
The paths beset
with several distresses
be freed,
the circle of barbed wire
will break from every side,
of electric obstructions,
of life ending extensions.
On the bored strong
mental horizon of man,
let me put forth
shoots of belief,
Let me sing the song.
99. UNEXPECTED
Each movement, say fortune
of static, lifeless objects
is logically fixed,
each vibration of creation,
slow or gigantic,
is accomplished by the rules of nature.
.
But the mutual harmony,
closeness
and relationship
of sensitive creatures,
is a mere coincidence.
.
Thats why
in the vast universe
in the world of billion people,
millions of people are alone,
are anxious and impatient
to get company of someone,
to have a co-traveller.
life is without logic,

and the man
is miserable, surely.
Wait for sudden happenings,
Wait.
Live contacts are not made,
they develop.
Desired dreams not invited,
They come voluntarily.
O, cursed people
of the world,
Wait.
.
Wait,
for sudden.
Necessities stand
but not fulfillment,
prayers made but not idols,
wanderings are there
without ways,
rivers without banks.
.
Search is on everywhere
life is a moving corpse.
Gold in hand turns to dust,
the close and dear
found and adopted
becomes alien.
.
Then it appears
100.
DESTINY
Keep on watch
the shores
flowing in midstream.
They will not support
even a day to you,
tired and lonely.
Because they are already occupied,
unwanted you,
keep on flowing,
endure
adversities as usual.
101. OPERATION
How many flowers
left unseen,
the shooting pain rise
in heart
unknown.
102. AUTOBIOGRAPHY
What life
drink the bitter every day,
the sweet ocean ripples
but
how much empty am I,
really,
do I live.
103. UNWANTED
I never wanted it
that the nimble feet
of coloured dreams
should not reach the horizon.
I never sought it
that the rain should not fill with song
the heavens of life
that the lightening should not flash,
in the lap of the nectar
raining dark clouds.
I never required it
that the tiredness
of failed fancies
should break wings,
that youth should not kiss,
the riding tides.
But things happened, unwanted,
dreams were cripple,
lost was the pleasant dewiness
of saavan
when the charm
of a loving heart
turned to poison.
104. EPITAPH
105. MISUNDERSTANDINGS
None is for you

none is for anybody
the world outright selfish is.
To our reciprocal bonds

to prosperous ever-growing relationships
to closeness and intimacy
misunderstanding
often shakes violently
shatters us
opposite each other
turns.
At our death
someone aggrieved should
sing pathetic songs,
and shed tears
in sweet memory
lifelong.
Light tearful life-lamp,
to think thus
is disease sheer
the world is very selfish.
Give not yourself in vain
so much import
should understand
due being disillusioned,
significance
of self-existence,
no harm in it there is,
whilst
the world is all selfish.
The past of our amity

false, meaningless becomes
the history of goodwill
having proved a mere farce
all the past happenings
in the milieu of unimagined strange contexts,
establishes.
We convinced of the otherwise
justification of truth
to change are forced,
in darkness
and in deeper darkness
and we are lost
in still deeper darkness.
Misunderstanding
he allusion of human faith,
constantly walks over,
one and many confusions,
frequently making hollow
absorb sap of life.
Falling a prey misunderstandings
in reality a curse it is,
to suffer misunderstanding
again and again.
Really an acute curse-fever trouble is,

who knows, as a result of which curses
I got gifts of misunderstandings,
gifts of false accusations and scandals
aplenty,
carrying which on lifes back
I wander.
The bundle of misunderstandings
in its bulk
still will how much bigger grow
the gusto of life
how longer shall it check,
should I breach relationships,
the yoke of misunderstandings
all at once should throw away,
free from worry
of individual and society
should adjoin life with lifeless matter
should I compassion strangle.
106. THE ART OF LIVING

The grammar of life
I did not read,
it is perhaps,
that
I did not know how to live
in real sense.
.
In self-display
like an abortive expression
remained non-effective.
Hence
day-night, inside-outside
I remained out of sorts.
.
I did not know
the world-life practice,
meanings and their uses,
thats why
the so called world
didnt absorb me.
.
I did not learn
to discriminate
the scientific separation
of loutish material and minute
I understand not whatever said
did not fit
in the field of explanation,
So, perhaps my statement
was not liked.
I did not read
the grammar of life,
perhaps,
it is, that
I did not learn
to lead a happy life

like others.
I lived always
in the simplicity of life,
did not display the allegorical,
mystifying and symbolic lexis.
.
I kept on burning
like a commonly used lamp of mustard oil,
in a small recess.
I did not lit
the idiomatic mercury tubes,
on the walls painted,
it is perhaps
that society got no entertainment,
and not delighted
at its expectations.
.
I did not plunge
into the show of the world.
I did not sing
in evasive expression
with connotation accomplished.
I did not know
to taste the life in style
in the metaphorical decorated pot.
So, perhaps,
I did not learn to live
like tactful experts.
107. REVIVAL
I live in a deserted dense forest,
bear, day and night,
intolerable pain
of utter loneliness.
.
I do not willingly
opt for the torture-cell,
I never desire,
the friendless cage
to lead a lonely life.
.
Doubtful stillness lives,
and life seems a waste of time
short of basis.
.
Timely untimely
fire mountains of beastly spite
burn in me,
lava-river of retaliation
and revenge pricks
my injured wounded consciousness,
and the deserted dense forest
seem only safe.
.
Certainly
how helpless
is the past to man.
.
The dense forest,
the loneliness is my helplessness,
let me bear the pain of it.
.
Let me burn,
let me burn.
Forests will extinguish,
iron cages will melt.
.
I will come,
return,
and abandon self,
become a part of collective consciousness,
and merge in the eternal crowd.
.
Where personal stings
will be lost
or will sleep
in the depths of oblivion.
108. A SOLEMN PLEDGE

Let the mountains of pain
fall and break
again and again,
immortal
I will remain uncrushed.
.
Let the rapid dark clouds
cover the sky,
let the furious storms thunder,
seizing all,
an iron man
I will be invincible.
.
Lacs of scorpions sting,
let arise
the poison scorched tide in body,
pledged to endure
I will remain unshaken.
109. EVEN IF
I do not mind
your fraudulent looks
hurt my conscience,
like a sting of jealous
disregard.
.
I do not mind
your ridiculous satires,
piercing my heart
like arrows of fire
unkind torments.
.
Unattractive images,
lie before
I know them,
know their history from the beginning.
.
I have healing cure of them,
nothing goes wrong
today if they stay
embracing the horizon.
110. SELF-LIKING
111. FRAGMENTED PERSONALITY
In photo
I did not like my face,
I got my snaps again,
with great enthusiasm,
gave different poses,
as the photographer directed
smiled lessening seriousness also,
and drew passions on face too,
But in those pictures too
I did not like my face,
photos were not I desired,
not at all.
In childhood
if somebody saw not
with affectionate looks,
with craving,
and caressed not
hugging with vatsal1 feeling,
then a mans persona
definitely cracks.
But, are those figures

not mine,
are the multi-coloured photos
not mine.
We do not want to see
the real shape in photo in fact,
we want to see ourselves
according to own perception of beauty,
to see deformities hidden or confined.
In youth
if one couldnt get some
beloved partners love
trustworthy
exclusive
and unshaken.
Life dry, burdensome
sheer desert and lust-born,
then that mans personality
inside and outside
indeed shatters.
If being old is not heard
speech reverential, honourable,
none likes to hear
the tale of self-experience
dumb at this last step
mans character really,
creaks
and for ever breaks.
1.
Affectionate
112. BIOGRAPHY
113. THE PATHS BEND
The picture that drowned

in darkness of past
to draw it
again and again.
.
The thing that scattered
at places
on the trodden path,
to gather it
thoughtfully.
.
The things to expire,
yearning
to keep, carefully
again and again.
.
Is not the custom and aim
of poetry.
.
Biography is a sequence
of past lived.
.
Poetry,
instant,
flowing,
alive.
The bend of the path

is dear to me.
A rather too long way

makes me bored,
for no reason
I get plunged into the
sluggish weariness,
without knowing anything.
When I fail to see
anything new
on the oft-beaten track
I am unable to walk.
Therefore, a hearty welcome
to every new bend,
a welcome over brimmed ,
with deep emotion.
What if the turn of the path
is so dear to me,
and close to my heart.
114. MOST WANTED
115. UNEXPRESSED
May there be
on the sweet lips a smile
like a blossomed lotus flower,
or there be a lovely song
full of rapturous feelings.
Man forms
a well-known periphery
of self creation,
every unimagined anguish.
A smile
a sweet song are rare
to find in this cursed age,
infinitely
hard to see.
Only there is a
very deep layer of snow
on the quiet blue-hued lips.
Somewhat uncontrolled violation

for self and others,
meaningless,
averse meaningless.
Experienced life pain,
only confined
to the preset limit,
in mans environ,
in the state of the sub-conscious.
In every heart
one finds a rattling crop of pain,
the seeds of joy
exist no more, except
the tingling limbs.
Man lifeless
like a portrait,
looks for rainbow hues.
117. A STATE OF MIND

116. QUERIES
Who has scattered
the myriad seeds
of disloyalty
on minds stratum.
Who has scattered
the rare and highly valued gems
of firm faith,
on the horrid path of suspicion.
By pricking the thorns
of a sheer mockery in our feet,
has seized
not the full legacy.
Who suddenly
with hollow philosophy,
undermined the weighty wisdom
of truth-experience proved,
beliefs of life.
My desires appear oppressed

and restive
to find expression.
My lustful desires
preserved carefully
in a lone hidden place,
in the hope,
that they find fulfillment.
My lustful and restive desires
look oppressed,
Yet, are keen to actualize,
in all experiences.
But somehow,
the atmosphere is laden
with teargas,
leaving me to weep
unto myself or suffer wrath
of the unfulfilled desires.
Who with a devastating speed

of a hurricane,
deflected the sky-scraping
high summits,
of our iron faith.
118. UNEXPECTED
Like all times
1
arrived Asharha
with a flood of gifts
of clouds anew,
but the intense thirst-stricken chatak2
said nothing,
only stared with vacant eyes,
neither welcomed the newcomer
nor drank life giving nectar.
Like all times
savana3 rained in torrents,
with lusty shaky breasts
as black clouds gathered thick
hankered restless,
and begged
4
spreading the green, wet border.
But peacocks didnt dance,
bhadon5 went away sapless,
the silent sky
6
didnt give voice to kajali songs.
and bracelets of colourful flowers.

But jasmine didnt bloom
nor was heard
9
the dolour of koel !
A year
of burdensome dates
of obscure memories
came to an end.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
A month from mid June to mid July

An Indian bird supposed to drink only rain water during
Swati constellation
A month from mid July to mid August
Greenery
A month from mid August to mid September
Folk song of rainy season
An adolescent woman, who often comes out to meet her
lover in the moonlit night
A boat of the shape of pea-cocks wing
Indian cuckoo
Like all times

came the wintry-moonlit nights chilly
to remind about the young moon faced
beautys words.
7
But Shuklabhisarika
didnt move from her home,
pathway
sadly awoke every night,
8
no morpankhi ever stirred
in the tranquil lake.
Like all times
sweet-flourished Spring came,
with new leaves
119. NEW YEAR

O New Year,
I could not welcome you
despite willingness.
Thought of planning
varied celebrations
before the auspicious arrival,
God knows what peculiar new ideas,
assimilated in mind,
but could not put a little of that
into practice.
O New Year,
how you came
without any pomp and show,
and even with willingness,
I could not embrace you
in my love-laden arms.
O New Year,
How sad you must be feeling indeed,
I could not dedicate even a single line
to welcome you,
although willingness it was
this time
to write not one but many poems.
O, what happened,
something memorable
outstanding
must have occurred,
the prologue or the epilogue
of the drama of life,
but nothing came about,
only
a sensation of rehearsal.
O New Year,
I slept and woke up
with a longing,
to give you an important place,
in the index of life.
Despite eagerness could
neither live nor die.
120. FOR ME ALONE

A cold silent
night of winter
for me alone.
All unknown stars
trees slept,
before me only one
a body of darkness
for me alone.
God knows
of what acts unpardonable
an d exceptional,
sins result,
all lost in a world of dreams,
but I alone
tired and restless.
This dumb-founded
heavy snow cold,
shivering night,
for me alone.
121. EASY: DIFFICULT
122. DAY END
It is easy
simply to pass a day,
difficult to live.
Today,
like ever silently went away.
How easy to spend life,

difficult to manage
to set to stitch
the threads, the fibres
of a fractured personality.
Poison only to vomit
timely or ill-timed,
difficult to drink.
It is easy
simply to pass a day
difficult to live.
Undesired, unbearable,
rang the harsh alarm,
of early morn,
not even a single bird chirped
to rejoice the day.
The dawn distributed the golden sunshine
to every house, every door,
neither anybody knocked
at my closed doors,
nor gently called my name.
Noon a matured experienced woman,
wrote moments of rest
in every bodys diary,
but boredom, only boredom
to me.
Idle and lethargic
I look at the approaching
evening crimson,
what at all you can offer,
a silent answer
darkness ... dense darkness.
123. RETROSPECTION
124. REPENTANCE
Flew away,
many a year of life
devoid of rejoicings,
full of dearth,
yes, fluttered away
several years of life.
Lo!
I spent life
laughing and weeping
but could not live.
The time will not return

lost in dust and sun,
slept in darkness.
In uproars around
life continued to scream,
helpless at every step,
more vulnerable in endeavours.
I could not sing
a single song of joy,
even a single song of pain.
Sound
continued to resound only,
struggle and struggle,
and struggle.
All the directions of comfort,
turned round.
Eh, many a year of life,
fluttered away
before long.
Spent the day

waking
sleeping the night,
yes, I spent life,
but could not live,
Being in senses
or senselessly
how I have
squandered the life
but could not live.
Getting a little
but losing all,
Oh, so exhausted the life,
but could not live.
In longing and in turbulence
sustaining and ruining
staying mute, talking loud
if one relevant,
irrelevant another
spent life
dreaming, dreams a few
but could not live.
125. DESTINY
127. FAITH
The smoke of doubts booms,

how to breathe,
Defeated in life
but not despondent.
Lips envenomed deep

how to drink
the honey.
Where is fidelity
faithlessness has ever
embraced me,
not sweet fruit,
only ablaze poison
meted to my ill fate.
When the tide

of repentance rises
in heart,
how to sleep
on cozy bed.
On the stony soil
of barren land,
how to sow
a new life.
126. ALMS
I feel cursed,
deceived at every step,
not despaired.
transitory remorse and pain
suffocation
think it a blessing
no other fetter,
of attachment.
Hey! who filled

the dense gloom
in my precious life-vessel,
give me a handful of light.
Oh! who hung
the serpents numerous
of suspicion,
on the sandalwood natured
body.
Give me bits of trust,
fragments of faith.
Give me
a handful of light.
128. LIFE AS BESTOWED
129. DISILLUSIONMENT
Golden days of life

worth living like a sacred boon,
like a soothing song,
lovely and enchanting words
and echoing days
ah, worth living.
each moments joy
worth drinking.
Perhaps
which was never acceptable
to you,
if a fallacy of that claim appeared
in mind today
It is good,
It is propitious.
The days of lifes

continuous contrariness,
the strenuous days
full of dejection, melancholy
and extreme emptiness,
ominous like a curse,
difficult days like a fang fever
bitter and bristly
ah worth living.
Each moment restraint
worth drinking.
The life as bestowed,
good or bad
to live constantly,
to live inevitably.
Unstable deceived mind,

think not
highly precious
very rare heritage
of life is lost.
Not faintness
but certainly awareness.
Not the mist of temptation
true knowledge,
the reality of life
Life will now get significance
in a new lustre,
be not worried at all
in despair.
130. POINT OF VIEW
131. HOW TO SUFFER PAIN : A POINT OF VIEW
Be not allured to the past,

past is dead.
Let it turn to ashes,
do not bear its burden,
be not a bier.
The worshippers of the dead
one day in present self
will become passive
useless and unwanted
also dreary.
Smile if the heart aches,

however, if pain finds
its expression
in the slightest wrinkle on the face,
or when its expression is even
half-consciously barred,
it is only condemnable
fie it
it is unmanliness.
What is past
is extinct,
why it be the controller of the present,
and overpower the present.
Free the present from the past,
live it with full fervour,
enjoy with this knowledge
of reality,
every future moment will adapt itself
to the present.
The future
is infinite.
Sing if the heart aches

Sing with an ease
that none can ever get at it,
sing with the honey-soaked voice,
the mirth of life.
Let not the dead leaves of autumn
even slightly rustle,
oh, sing
the songs of spring.
Sing burying sobs and sighs,
the tinkling, echoing melodies
of the ankle-bells,
sing oblivious of the sad
and agonizing moments,
of a lonely life,
the never ending laughter
of a boisterous life.
Sing the songs of love,
Love is a great boon,
it is priceless,
and smells like sweet scented
shrubs of life.
Smile
If the heart aches :
Smiles that are milky white,
Smiles that are immaculate white,

Smiles that are silver-like,
Smiles that are moonlight-like!
133. REALITY
Bitterness
everywhere available,
sweetness a rarity.
132. HORRIFIED
Always horrified
from the faults of vision,
varied, strange and affected with
hundreds of prejudices,
and bounded by
the dense dark of doubts
and we look at one another
as strangers.
And in the unwanted
venomous choking ambiance
when we edgily writhe,
the ocean of acute wicked,
malice thunders,
full of innumerable
nasty creatures,
free from the shackles
of all reticence
becoming man.
Panic evident
everywhere,
courage rare.
Everywhere
annoyance display,
stasis lost.
Everywhere
affectation, meretricious ness,
reality a very long way off.
134. ACHIEVEMENT
136. MISAPPREHENSION
I could not achieve,

what was ever desired,
no sorrowing.
We the beings of the science age,

got the zenith of intellect
great and highly developed
omniscient.
Under numerous covers

of alleged noble glory
exposure of such a
naked meanness.
achievement of failure,
no grief or mourning.
Easily manifest
invisible drama
of so-called great personality
labelled as impartial, neutral,
achievement of failure,
no sorrow.
135. FARCE
I hate artificial smile,
when some people
smile in this manner
I feel they will bite.
Trap in their snake-noose.
When
such an unpleasant smile is a part
of etiquette,
how dreary it looks.
I hate artificial dry smile,
I hate it infinitely.
Enduring ethics,
eternal lifes values are hollow
for us.
Our dictionary
defines heart,
as merely a mass of muscles
that purifies blood,
provides fresh blood to all the arteries,
the mystery of its palpitation,
is quite clear,
on its abating or putrefying
we can also change it.
Related to heart
primeval mans passions,
all the feelings,
delicate charming emotions
of man are nothing
but ridiculous.
For us primeval mans
sentiments of mutual love,
physical movements,
due to pangs of separation,
all childish, unhygienic
and meaningless.
It is in the history of man
the utmost waste of time,
to us.
For us
Aattraction
Synonym of lust
for sensuous pleasure!
Womanish postures
Simply acting of limbs
learnt through practice,
easily within reach
by getting admission
in the dramatic theatres!
Love dialogue
Artificial,
miraculous voice luxuriance!
Mating lover-beloved
Only for the sake of sensual pleasure!
137. ENVY
Do not envy
and do not fear envy.
Others expression of envy
whether symbolic or spoken
or through actions spells success.
A cleanser of self-profundity,
why timorous of it
and so baffled.
Envy as neural,
equally necessary its containment,
destroy not embrace the envy.
Equipoise the envious
encourage him to advance,
give him a chance to develop,
fill his little self with glory.
Memory
Another name of hypocrisy
or pain of paucity!
Then none will envy,

then none will fear of malice.
Love
Illusion, a fraud
nonexistent,
mere word of a single syllable!
The day man tolerates beatings of envy,

it will become
only an insignificant topic in poetics,
of describing the short-lived1 emotions.
1. Sanchaari-bhaava : in Sanskrit Poetics there are 33

short-lived emotions. After strengthening the potential
emotions, they subside.
139. ARGUING
138. SELF-REALISATION
We are human beings,
created from soil,
the best,
most beautifully bedecked,
life sign,
best expressed heart,
purest and mature mind.
Smallness
let it be dear to us,
with the glory
of dust particles,
be well-informed,
well-tried.
Bound to die,
why afraid of death,
why senses be numb,
and become dejected.
Judges of good and bad
why should become bull-headed.
Questions static as usual,

handicapped
all reasoning,
smothered imagination.
questions buried
under the rocks of incertitude.
Lack of clue
East, north ...and everywhere,
all stasis.
How long
this tugging,
how long
still unaided mental-state,
how long
still youll put on the questions,
on the rugged complex surface,
all as usual
standing still on its place.
140. TO THE ENVIRONMENT
141. WHIRLWIND
The sky full of biting sultriness

and with the waving fire-flames
the world is heated too much.
Whirlwind approaches
overflowing and roaring
with great speed
full of dust.
Too much disturbed and pressed,

the crushed human mind,
the entire atmosphere,
of life worn and wearied
incarcerated.
Let us change it,
make it dynamic
and fill the firmament
with the cloud
and malaar melody,
with breezy whiffs,
write finis to environ burning.
In a few moments
It will also envelop your sky,
awake, arise
firm intrepid mind,
be wary,
vow to bear the jostles
now at once,
resolved in inner self.
You measure the strength of storms,
let aplomb
declare control over plights,
sensitizing the slumbering
unknown strength of intellect.
Before the Himalayas strong disposition,
the roaring cruel storm will change
its path.
the harbinger of death
blind dust-storm will,
change its way.
142. LIFE-CONTEXT
143. DIFFERENCE
Let us give
new context to the Geeta of life,
when mans environment has changed
let us create new hymns.
Every persons life

is not a highway
garden bedecked and full of plants
expansive, unhindered and clean
plain smooth and lovely.
Establish new values,

Let us give new shape
to internal and external forms,
of life oriented poetry.
Let us give aura of new living ideals,
and ornament with
the glistening golden ornaments.
Let us bejewel the statue of life
with new construct,
and with novel expression,
complete the mans venerable desires
of the glory of relations,
Let us glorify the age.
Lets
Become the discoverers of new routes
set out quickly
toward the new horizons.
It is not possible
that every person gets
such ease, so much convenience.
In the same direction
on the same ground,
not situated homes of all,
when a similar goal
is not desired!
Some must cross
the narrow and stunted
full of turns or uneven
populous
dark footpaths and streets
each step mud smeared.
No every mans life
is not full of facility
well lighted highway.
Path will change
when the ground changes.
144. O WINGED STEEDS OF DESTINY

O winged steeds of Destiny!
holding thy reins
with confidence
and with firm hands,
we will pull
to give ye direction,
every time.
thy ominous lines,

and singing sweet the rousing music
of hard work,
we will break through
thy citadels
of distress and destruction.
O winged steeds of Destiny,
we will hold thy bridle
and give ye direction.
Radiant and spirited,

we are the sons of the soil
stand by the toil
cherish the youthful vigour,
pull thy bridle, mind you
to give ye direction,
every time.
O ye, the sentinels
and the stars foretelling!
our labour is marked
with brilliance,
we will pull out
thy light forever dazzling
for, we can reach
the inaccessible Space
through endurance
and steadfast endeavours.
O ye, our stars,
we will forsooth,
take away thy brilliance.
O ye, the moving invisible hand!
thou art the invincible citadels
echoing the distressed cries,
of the ill-fated ones,
bathed in sweat
we will wash
145. FAITH
146. GIFT OF A LIVELY FAITH
Water
each particle of water
give to each dry plant,
to broken uprooted shrubs
give renewed vigour,
fluent current to grow again and again.
give water to each dry plant,
and naked branches,
ornaments of dew-drop pearls,
to ever barren land
give a water embrace
and a cool hug.
Lots of Love and love

that I treasured in life
to each of those
who are distressed
either by Fate or the ways of the world.
Maybe under deep

and still deep layers
life lay asleep,
lost in the by lanes of murkiness.
O ye,
the downtrodden, distressed
and dejected ones,
I welcome you
with the fragrant gleeful bouquets
of new hopes and a lively faith.
Water with dedication of the core within,

perhaps, breaking rocks somewhere
new sprouts sprang up,
the womb of earth barren
were vibrant with life new.
I throw open the gates

of my small habitation,
to give shelter to life and honour
of those whom ironies of Nature
hit hard
or worldly ridicules hurt.
Yearn for life with beauty

and fill heart
with an earthly fragrance.
Each watery particle,

each land has warmth
and stays issue-oriented.
147. MAN AND DREAM
(148) LIFE
Eternal is mans love

of dreams!
Even facing death
he was rapt, and dreams on,
as if, dreaming were lifes emblem,
1
and a tale of Yamas defeat.
Our life
1
like a Harsingar flower
that blooms today
tomorrow it would shed.
As such,
each moment rare
full of merry-making,
of honey-love.
each heart ceaseless may swing
with overflowing tide of raptures.
Dreams to man
give smile and eagerness,
and also tears and sighs.
Filling heart with moonlit-tide,
creating craving for living,
to autumn,
colourful scenes of spring
offer a fresh present,
victory laurels it grants.
Cherish gift of dream costly.
God-gift bestowed
Deck it in eyelids
Day and night !
the term Dreamer
is definition of being Human,
of movement and progress
inspiration fount,
in a sea of trouble
of world boat
a mighty rudder.
Glorious most beautiful attribute.
Dream craving and attraction
is eternal is eternal.
love of man for dreams
is eternal.
1. Yama -Lord of Death dispensing death (Indian

mythology)
One day, at last,

each shining ray would flicker away ....
and on all sides sheer
pitch-darkness would prevail.
Our life
like a Harsingar1 flower
that blooms today
tomorrow would shed.
Close not the lip doors
on glowing milky smile,
be no restraint limit
on life-song
2
being played on breath-veena .
One day everything would fly
to return no more.
our life
like a Harsingar flower
that blooms today
tomorrow would shed.
1.
2.
A famous flower (Parijat)

Indian lute-lyre
149. RETALIATION
150. BREAK NOT
O heart , respond
the worlds bitter bite
with tune-gladdened
nectar-fragrant breath.
O heart wounded
break not,
bear calamitys dire hammer-stroke,
in mighty blazing
cauldrons of pain
constant calmly burn.
Acceptable on life-path
pang of each disregard
with calm bright laugh.
Worth receiving clouds
of darkness
at door with golden rays
of doubt-free hope.
Worthy of devotion
the God of Thunderbolt
with the music of heart,
outbursts of love
and sportive dance of love.
O heart respond
the worlds cruel fraud
with loving feeling,
and faith.
Alone in the bubbly river of whirl

pooling lethal hot currents
non-stop firm flow,
slighted heart break not.
Dark and dusky clouds,
strong noisy winds,
fiery waving,
pent up stunned atmosphere.
Cruel as though presently,
there were yea, presently,
Ram1!
Sita2 kidnapping,
O heart, Break not.
Not distant any more
new coming morn,
it may not be
by dry, sad, pathetic, black shadow
eclipsed.
Smiling, march on,
O heart !
to make reconciliation meaningful,
new un-dawned Morn,
quite close.
The incarnation of god Vishnu. eldest son of KaushiliyaDarshrath.

2. Wife of Lord Ram; daughter of Janak, king of Mithila.
1.
151. AN AWARENESS WITHIN
152. THE IRONY OF FATE
Fill deep the heart

with anguish,
and the compassionate eyes
with tears.
In the flower-beds of my heart

I caused the fragrant flowers to bloom,
all all my life
the flowers of feelings.
Agony is only fate

why accept the hand,
whose lines foretell
a tragic life,
accept the ice-benumbed
yet lovely hand,
it has fallen to your lot
accept it cheerfully.
All, all my life

I caused the bewitching birds
of fancy,
like silken slips
of multi coloured cloth,
to fly free in the vast sky.
Why accept a grief-stricken life,

the tiring moments
the dark, dirty and sniveling moments
of a dark life,
accept with a smile.
Yea, fill iron-heart with anguish,
and fill your barren eyes with tears.
The clouds
with the deep salty sea
and the destruction beaconing storm,
knocked your doors,
extend them a hearty welcome.
I wished I could
all all my life
bring the sun and the moon
to the deep valleys
of my heart
to kill darkness.
But, why the error,
oh, Providence,
that the body is tightly tied
with countless snakes,
and is encircled with sharp thorns,
that the persistent strokes of the gale,
give gifts of vain venomous dust.
Accept them gladly

who brought for you
a gift of pain.
Sustain on weak shoulders
the great mountains,
fill deep the heart with grief
and the compassionate eyes with tears.
153. RECOGNISE YOU CANT
154. LIFE
Even routine ennui

that is what life means,
as though poisonous serpents entwined,
looked like the sandalwood tree.
All is being lost,

nothing gained.
Morning comes
with worrying rays of depression,
and flared up suns of wants
having troubled unsuccessful rays.
Body slack, languorous and wounded
unattached, wraith-like mind and slack,
bygone, mangled
day crippled,,, trembling,
riding dismantled chariot
from wilderness listless,
bearing pain excruciating, unending
when evening in nights cave is sunk,
you will not realize
how a bored accursed life feels.
Night comes as though unkind mirage
embodied as bride was
from colourful and shot-silk,
dream curtains
the newly-wed peeping,
gifts of biting swindling in arms just drops.
Untouched feelings like fluid waves,
dashing against a hard rock
bring a floodtide of pain,
and thus passes away life
with just pathetic world
of even routine monotony.
Rare music cadence,
sounds thrilling,
joy fragrant
love rainbow like timeless.
Life is as if an ill arranged

and lonely closed room
or like a yacht
on the distant sands with its bottom holes.
Knotty problems
tightening the grips all around,
evade solutions.
Life is nothing
but an unwanted comet.
Life is like Sita1
stigmatized and distressed,
a vast river with great whirlpools
and full of swelling waves accursed,
how to cross it
and bring peace to the restive mind.
Life is like an ugly canvas
full of mud and dust
no world of flowers blossoming it,
for, that is all a dream.
Destiny always takes us on the wrong path
leaving nothing to cling.
Yet I live on the bed of fire,
yet I live holding a mountain
on my head.
2
I live in the manner of Siva
drinking poison unto the neck.
Life is intricate, complex too
it is not so easy,
not that easy.
156. NIGHT SHALL PASS AWAY

1. The wife of Lord Rama.
2. Lord Shiv is known to be the destroyer as well as the
preserver of this world.
155 AN EVENING II
Life signifies stillness,
today too
nothing unusual came about,
and the day slipped away.
The vagrant sunshine came,
I longed to spend
a few moments with her,
but alas
only gloom befriended me.
Migratory birds flew in
but utterly perplexed
I simply stared at them,
no one lingered,
the usual monotony prevailed.
The doleful heart
kept forbearing,
life connotes dullness,
grimness.
Darkness
and night inveterate
night is deaf.
Exhorted heart fervently
to sleep,
O heart, tired sad heart
defeated in the game of life
misfortune-stricken,
o heart destitute
sleep.
Night is for sleep
dreams to cherish
for moments few
existence is for being non-existent
this is night, full of starlets
for lying in bed with fairies
sleep.
One experiences pain,
and desolate night is cold extremely,
life no more mine,
there remains no dream any longer to realize.
Night is to keep awake
in cauldrons of restlessness
for smouldering again and again.
Night...night deep
night deaf we spent
keeping awake.
This same shall morrow see
darkness will descend
calm, slow and dead slow,
shroud-like,
darkness shall descend again.

O heart, for keeping awake
all silently close your eyes
to rage inside
lifelong ashes keep.
Night, black night
shall pass away....shall pass away.
157. UNWANTED
Sweet and sanguine
virgin, surging longings,
nestling in the heart
since ages are now abandoned.
Nave and innocuous
they seemed
warmly snuggling in my heart.
affectionate, they lolled
throughout the day.
At night garishly lurked
like rajnihasa or rajnigandha.
today all evaporated.
O, Rajnihasa!
extremely discontented I am,
the consummation of long cherished desires
the coveted festivities of golden future,
all facing failure.
The night of crystal dreams,
the honeyed talks
all renounced.
Mute mind gathers wool,
my eyes blear,
the sweet spring has passed,
o, sweetheart,
the golden era is over.
159. WHAT THE SECRET

158. WHO COULD FORESEE
The sunrays seemed suffusing
the pinnacles
and the nethermost limits
of the universe.
The life appeared clothed in
new enlightenment.
the earth seemed adorned
with rare golden grandeur
all sides resounded
with the sweetest songs.
The wind is cold,

the night is still
listless like your lips .
What the matter is,
what mystery is
that asleep is each ripple.
Slumber keeps vigil,
irksome darkness deep,
shooting pain is afoot,
the wind is cold.
It could not be foreseen

that one day things would take
such a sudden turn for the worse,
causing a great havoc,
leaving stunned
in our tracks, directionless.
That destiny would snuff out
all splendour from the world
putrefying fragrant flowers
to seethe us with virulence.
Ah, that wretched assent
would devastate so ignominiously.
And that crestfallen
with heavy hearts,
would consign our faith
to the flames of negativity
and trudge home alone
to sing dirges,
throughout life.
160. THROUGH THE UNWANTED MOMENTS

O giver of life
give love,
If you gave me, thirst
give nectar to drink.
if you gave life

let me relax on a creepers lap,
free from all inhibitions.
1.
When the soul is blessed

with a physical mould,
give it shape and beauty,
and fill the heart
with the tidal waves of feeling.
Oh, deny not the natural emotions,
for, that would make a hell of life,
or mean the passing of years
without a song
of love or beauty.
1
oh, deny me not the happy Savan .
If you opened up the eyes to light
let them rock the many dreams,
let consciousness enjoy
a whit
freedom from pain or sighs.
Oh, tighten not the strings
of helpless moments
let the broken wings of desire play,
for a moment before they die.
Oh, do not fix the nail of vile hatred
into the throbbing heart,
do not reciprocate the fire of anger
for the fire of love.
O giver of life,
let me taste the sweet smell
of every flower,
One of the months of the rainy season
161. PRAYER
Bestow melancholy,
grant derision of defeat,
confer morbid despair,
but do not take away
the hope of triumph.
Do not smother the whiffs of dawn,
with the prop of newfangled aspirations
we shall drag on with the dismal life.
the life of deficiencies.
Let there be betrayal,
let disloyalty haunt
at every amorous step,
bequeath disloyalty,
everlasting like the mirage,
but do not still the songs on lips.
Do not rub out the moving music
from the dulcet throat.
On planet earth
imbued with the sensibility of faith,
indulging in fancies
we shall while away,
our listless youth.
We shall live through every wet monsoon
and spend dreary, lonely life.
162. THE INCREDIBLE

Inside the auditorium
one finds no spectators
it is only me
the actor and the hero.
2. The comprehension of a sentiment -a technical

term in Sanskrit poetics.
3. A divine damsel.
4. A divine damsel of the court of Lord Indra.
163. SECOND BIRTH

Whose life
far from being delightful
the most woeful and tragic it was.
It is really me
who lives up to the main story,
and sings in broken voice
its own requiem,
it is so pathetic, monotonous
and not pleasant.
1
I am the Bhojak
2
the Bhojya too,
soaked in sorrow,
of blue tendons,
tediously and slowly grown plot,
the introduction, the middle,
and the end.
But who you are
like an intoxicating side-plot,
3
are you Rambha
4
or Urvashi?
who deviates so sudden
from the main plot,
yes its all too sudden
so out of place
so unnatural.
Initiation of life
once more,
without any intuitive percipience
or the prenatal connectivity.
Is it necessary to link
present to the past,
even when it is difficult to fathom,
the depth of real life.
Life not an enigma,
its significance may be simple,
its connotation profound,
without any sub-plot
or predicament saturated
queasy wounds.
Deeper the quest
agonizing propensity,
closer search for relevance-link,
more bewilderment.
Is the present over borne,
by distress and gloom,
and the glossy citadel of faith
targeted by the missile of suspicion,
no, never.
1. A person that rouses an emotion a technical term in

Sanskrit poetics.
164. THE WORSHIP OF ART

Why, the worship of Art
gills each heart with love.
Sing,
the stone will turn into wax,
the hot desert into a tidal sea.
Sing,
the whirlwinds will calm down,
the dark night
will turn into a golden day.
Sing, O sing,
the birds of life will chirp
in the lonely valleys of death,
and the desolate, dreary faces
will gleam in moonlit smiles.
The worship of Art is meant to lit
candle in each heart,
or fill it with the fragrance
of sandal wood.
The worship or Art fills
each heart with love.
in mirth,
the eyes may cherish
the sweet dreams.
O sing,
playing on the worlds harp,
stir each mind
with the priceless tunes of love.
The worship of Art will rouse
a sense of beauty
in every man.
The worship of Art fills up
each heart with love.
165. VISION
Indeed attached to the earth though we are
yet the bond of love for the moon and stars
unbreakable is as ever,
in dreams and ideals we indulge,
yet no less significant is
our pledge to make them real.
O sing,
the world shall excel the Heaven in beauty,
no man will suffer old age,
a man will only an angel be
and a woman,
a divine damsel she will be.
Sing, O sing,
that the spring may come
to the distressed life,
the boughs and flowers may dance
(166) SING
Sing so that life a lyric may become.
167. THE OFFSHOOT
Man is helpless at each step,
each silvery love-dream shatters,
sunk in sea of tears
the sun of hope is far,
far away,
sing so that each particle
a friend may become.
Surrounded on all sides
is darkness dense
hurt is each heart, full of pain,
mute cover of troubles life-long
for ever remains thus overhead,
sing that defeat
victory may become.
Breath overcasts with helplessness suffocation,
smouldering life smarting-burning fed,
full of poisonous dense-dust particles
is sky of mans wishes,
sing so that suffering
a music may become.
The forward moving force in man

grows.
the offshoot breaks the hard crust,
withstanding the onslaughts
of the whirlwinds
the brilliant sprouts into a new life.
As it grows into a plant
and dances with the winds
in arrogance,
ominous forces of destruction
lay down their arms,
with a sense of frustration.
And those that wished to sap the energy
of life abundant though,
give way.
So do not come
in the offshoots way,
do not interfere with their growth,
let them sprout and grow
in the sun,
in the open sky.
169. IRRESISTIBLE
168. LOSE NOT YOUR HEART
Do not lose heart,
one day the heart-rose shall bloom
in the midst of impediments galore,
so, lose not heart.
Sport with the fury of storms,
if they rage and roar around you,
stand up to the heavy rocks
they fling at you.
You know well enough
the weather is rainy,
theres rough and tumble in the sky,
the dark clouds hover and thunder above,
let all that be a song sonorous to you.
True, flashes the lightning, again and again
but to you a crackling of firework it is,
if you tread the track unmoved
your destination will arrive one day
and meet you half way.
Do not lose heart,
one day the heart-rose shall bloom
in the midst of impediments galore,
So, lose not your heart.
I shall not bow down before misfortune,

though remained unsuccessful in life today.
Not even for a moment kept dormant
the feeling of devotion,
no matter, if I am defeated,
I shall not get tired on lonely paths,
away, how-so-ever away
may the destination be.
1
Today, the darkness alike Amavas is overcast
all-round,
but, just tomorrow,
the dawn will smile all-round,
I shall not stop in the crippled dilemma
of mind,
though I may not have any support.
1.
The last day of the dark half of a month
170. SUFFERING
171. DILEMMA
Youth you are of the upcoming age,

shedding tears
in remembrance of the beloved,
or for the betrayal,
behoves you not.
What this weariness,

that leaves inert every limb, every nerve.
Deadened is the mind to sensations all,
Heavy and tired are the eyes with sleep.
Clouds gather,
breeze vernal blows slow,
sky lits up with moon-light.
Far away are you from beloved,
or she broke your trust.
Simple and sentimental you are,
enshrined in your heart is love,
and desire lurks there,
longing as well for happiness,
and dreams of a fresh, golden playful life.
But, today they are shattered,
as if a thermometer slipped
from the hands on a stone,
the tears roll like mercury,
as though lost now your control.
Heed no more that the candle is burning out
and like sharp thin thorns,
the memories pierce the heart.
These pigeons
calmly sitting on the roof
do they too,
so remember someone.
How it that fatigued out the soul

and the vault of heaven resounds not
with the melody of my soul.
Wax-like melt the convictions firm
Oh, why hope of future too
recedes fast like a star,
away and away from sight.
Thorns lie concealed in the dust
on lifes road difficult
and strewn with barriers is my path.
How it is that souls lamp flickers fast,
as storms rage in the skies.
Ah, a reality, it is too grim,
an illusion it cant be.
Forget it I will,
or weariness shall weaken,
sleep and swing
on the chords of dreams,
in the quiet woods of calm breath.
Or, abjectly surrendering to stark reality,
I shall rein in the soul,
dormant lies already.
Or shall I,
with all the might of the soul,
fight every movement of reality.
172. UNSTOPPING FEET
173. SUPPORT
In the dark night of despair, no ray of hope glows.

Nowhere, now the stars in the sky shine,
all horizons of the earth invisible afar somewhere,
but, I keep going support less somewhere constantly,
all the birds of heart are not tired or still,
the rugged way difficult and full of thorns,
but feet not stopping anywhere.
Constantly vomiting poison every story of the path,
storms continuously tear down,
all secured eminent structures,
but always moving ahead, free and powerful,
not least vain became the devotion of soul,
extinguished the fast kindling flame
of inauspicious rival time.
I do not want to go along with you

even if move away the support of life.
If lived, begging somebodys mercy,
then for what.
I shall feel no anxiety within even casually,
Not the least regret, whether extinguish
this only shining star in the sky.
Laugh and live it will
without success,
human life doesnt brighten up
without futilities,
I have great confidence
that the flowing stream of life will not cease.
Lightening and roaring dense clouds frighten,

becoming rough and complex always each way,
encircled darkness increases each step like smoke,
due to terror, signal-lamps of the road extinguished,
It is the night of annihilation,
but even at this dreadful time
my eyes did not fill with tears.
174. NO LIFE
175. WE KNOW IT WELL
Is it life, no, not at all?
We will march removing hurdles,

cleaving the dark
we will march,
for, we know it well,
that lightning flashes not
in the blaze of noon.
Good fortune is not the only wish of heart,

to weep on misfortune is a crime here,
to forget
moments of distress are indications
of great future,
if having no so much faith,
then, that can never be an outlook of life,
no, not at all.
Dreams only overcast in the sky of eyes,
who sing songs for only themselves,
to forget
excellence and service-rendering
are the basis of humanity.
if this much is not acceptable,
then your breath is tied up,
and in the heart no palpitation,
not at all.
Awake, incessantly shall we go on

erecting an edifice anew.
that youth falters not,
no, never.
The opposing gale will look in wonder,
and the adversities will quickly end,
that the breaths
of the undaunted are wasted not,
no, never.
Not only flowers bloom in the garden,

dust also spreads at every feet,
to forget
revolt against hindered and captive life,
if you have so much attachment with life,
then, whats the frenzy of might,
Is it youth?
no, not at all.
176. COMPANION
177. THIS IS NOT DESTINATION
Those who suffer the calamities,

of life laughingly,
are my only companions.
This is not your destination.
Dense darkness on the thorny,

and rugged, stony and lonely way,
but those who set out
with enlightened new dawn in the eyes,
and dauntlessly
play with life and death
When angry fast winds roar on head,
and hopes and desires of future fail,
Then in utter disappointment,
those who endure many hardships in life,
Dashing against obstacles
those who could not know ceasing,
before getting the destination
those who could not know tiring,
throughout life
those who concord
with the youthfulness of life,
You have to go further,

burn more,
and struggle hard on the path of life.
You must drink more poison,
only then is the living successful,
today, it is the time, surely,
for your test.
Storm is before you
but, man is mighty,
who whipped the creation of calamity
with feet.
This is my faith,
history speaks,
I am the same that makes the body
of destructive designs shiver.
178. DEVOTION TO SONG

Tune of hope and belief
I play on the lyre of time constantly.
The dense darkness surrounds on the way,
terrible is the whole atmosphere today,
clouds gather and sky roars,
sing victory-songs
in front of death
at funeral pile.
Collect man,
life-courage everlasting,
burn in the fire sharply flamed,
the youth will brighten up thus,
giving performance of powerful songs,
and awakening the world.
180. INTRODUCTION
Sweet stream of love I am,
those who came not close to me,
kept distant acquaintance only,
thought me devoid of feelings,
laughing ridiculously, neglected me,
how they came to know,
ocean of love I am.
Seeing mine frail body with a birds eye,
turning the face, became aloof from my way,
the axis of power I am.
I did not smile a little,
because life was much perplexed,
so, the people who think me a mute stone,
tinkling of harp I am.
179. LAMP OF LIFE

This lamp of life kept on burning alone
the whole night.
Wind came with a destructive force,
sky roared in the madness of power,
but the lamp was engrossed in burning
without repose,
till the new golden time didnt come
in the world.
Leaving me alone on the bank

those who went away on boats,
now, entangled in the waves of tide,
and the ocean roared,
helm of salvation I am.
It constantly burnt laughingly

the whole night,
it reared up even amidst the storms,
crushed the vanity of tyrants,
and gave gleaming light
to mute, ruined and troubled men.
(The approaching sounds of the anklebells accompany the melodious voice of

the lady and the instrument. The voice of
the young man becomes soft but all the
same, he goes on singing ...)
181. NEW LIFE
(On the stage, a young man sings in a

pathetic tone. His hair is dry and
dishevelled. It is dark on the stage.
However, the young mans face is dimly
lighted. As he sings, soft melody of an
instrument quite in tune with the song
comes from behind the curtain)
Mans life is filled with helpless moments.
My fatigue-intoxicated body aches

and my heart is rendered
weak, helpless and demoralized,
how long will it take to beam a smile,
my life becomes a show of skeleton,
given to helplessness.
The days and nights are all dark and dreary

and the stale talk of those dire needs
rap my heart
how long will it react to the rains,
still to come.
the song of life is left half-sung, never done,
my life is given to helplessness.
The same old dreams deceive yet,
and the heart is filled
with those very lusts, throbs and commotions
how long will it take a new world to bear
my life is filled with dreary moments,
given to helplessness.
(A young and vivacious woman appears on

the stage. She is basked in colourful light.
She is the symbol of a New Life. The
young man looks at her in amazement and
his song abruptly stops).
But he tramples down the thorns
alleviating adversities
he comes
then the New Life beaming smiles,
mitigating darkness comes
then the New Life showers light.
(As soon as the words, beaming smiles

are heard, her face beams with smile.
The young man, singing the background
music, approaches the woman of Life. His
dry hair wave in the air and the Lady of
Life holds his hands into hers. Then the
melodies of the instrument, the song and
the ankle-bells linger to reverberate for a
little while.)
(The background music becomes a little

high-pitched and a female voice, as yet
subdued and indistinct, is heard, also
echoing the tune of the song. The young
man continues to sing ...)
The hot winds blow
howling at the nests,
scaring me to wonder
how long will it take the spring to bloom,
my life is fading amidst autumns dead leaves,
prone to helplessness.
182. DESTINATION
183. CONVICTION
It is not the goal of life

of groans, feeble, fruitless
of paths desolate,
of sighs of failure.
It is not the view
of the bewildered and the dreamful,
but awakened heart,
aimed at self-interests,
confined means of self-contentment,
targeted on worldly happiness,
far from the tunes
not devoted to human fate.
Firm is the conviction

some day the sky shall clear
of clouds dark.
Repentance of past,
song of reminiscent,
not the aim today,
secluded art from earthly voice
ever dignified be.
Rest assured
the carpet of violet rays awaits,
you on path ahead.
All water shall dry up
and cold shall vanish.
Sunny days shall, not one but countless

descend on earth
with laughter pure, dripping with light.
Hark not, O, Lifes traveller,
at this hour of pouring rain,
let not the fear of getting drenched
dampen spirits high.
The current mighty of eternal energy

will inflict utter defeat
on clouds, the rivals
who boast of rains inexhaustible.
Under the dense and dark clouds
the tiny lamp of mans undying faith
flickers strong as ever.
Lost it got somewhat
in the black blanket of darkness,
you search it out,
and with it light your lamp,
soon shall you see,
myriad lamps lit up
and drive darkness away,
And open up a new path golden,
as the light of conviction
burns eternal,
for a better world to come.
Conviction therefore is firm
that the transitory dusk
would pass through
the transitional darkness,
and wrest from heavens
a rosy dawn of life new.
184. SITUATIONS AND SUSPENSE

Not worried, nevertheless afraid too,
when life is at stake,
facing struggles at every step,
new Bhairvee1 resounds,
not at all possible to stop anywhere,
one faces defeat together with victory.
We are feeling all passions,
desires and renunciations,
someone calls Come back,
another one adorns, saying Good-bye,
weeping and sobbing and singing as well too.
185. WHERE IS REST

Where rest for us,
we fought even against death,
each moment progressed ahead,
all the thorns of the path
see, are thrust into the dust now,
moving forward,
we must destroy darkness hence.
We did not care for troubles moreover,
and did not see dust too,
also did not see
the cheery sweet flowers on the way,
and did not know
what is love and bonds
of affection.
We are not what we were yesterday,
we march at our own pace,
whether it is defeat or victory,
we remain alike at every moment,
and hold strange and firm faith
to change the world.
Here is a reflection of bad in good,

where deception one faces, one finds faith too,
even curse is with bliss,
Human is weak and likewise truly great,
unholy and sacred too.
Who challenges like this
who caresses so fondly
man is drenched in hostile conflicts,
and is always present in moments of joy,
he is a foe as well a friend too.
1.
A tune, which is sung in the early morning.

186. VALUE OF TEARS
187. LET RUN DOWN
When was it possible for the world

to assess the value of my tears?
Let run down the tears of mine,

But dont confer the gift of love.
It simply kept on gazing,

the unwinking flow of tears,
Looking with two merciless eyes; thats all,
as if, lamps devoid of affection,
Which human being sang the song
in tune with my agony?
On the path as I stop,

on each step when I bend,
fighting with the storms
get tired and entangled
in the whirlwind,
let me move in a tottering manner,
do not give support for a moment.
Is there any fellow-traveler of life,

just matching ones hearts desire,
When one is facing and suffering
sobs, mute sighs, and death?
Is there any, who is protected
by the intricacies of heart?
Whether the tide rises in the ocean,

no matter, the boat caught
in the whirlpool,
the thick rainy clouds gather,
the heart palpitates in quick successions
even though,
let me move forward
do not give helm in my hands.
On the dark lane of life,
on the bushy and thorny path of life,
support less and alone,
enlightening my heart
I shall go stumbling and rising,
dont give me the world
of easily obtainable light.
188. DESTRUCTION
I am fading each moment.
Stars envelope the sky,
waves merge in the ocean,
tunes of the lyre are lost
in the sound of blowing wind.
One day in the stream-trend of time,
agile I will also vanish.
The youth of flowers is of short duration,
the song of the black-bees is brief,
when their heart-beats of desires are so transient,
lasting for a short time,
my mortal body will also become feeble.
The day declines and the dust diffuses in air,
the night rolls every moment,
the ages overtake the pace,
the world changes continuously,
I also move on the path,
with internal uneasiness.
189. EVOLUTION
I keep glowing every moment.
Buds on the branches of trees,
row of stars flickering in the sky,
little by little, look in full perfection
with the new lustre of life.
Dry river receiving water up to the brim,
the desert being full with dripping drops,
when each particle gets life
I too fill vim in my heart.
Infusing sweet joviality in the world,
came fresh spring on the earth,
my words also getting tunes
when cuckoo started cooing.
190. FLOW OF PASSION
191. A BOON
Today, passions are in full sway.
The tied up doors of the heart opened,

while the sea thundered with violent laugh,
and death danced as it came near,
in the lap of the storms
when I was to fall any time,
hands got the firm helm.
Vanquishing the ocean of tears,

the heart gets rid of pain,
the burden of ages
becomes light,
heart sang a song,
reverberating its clank.
Heat of the sun is gone,
burning sensations of soul are calm
in the shades of clouds,
prevailing the cool wind.
got the love of beloved
in her silent acceptance.
Merged, within the blink of an eye
all hardships of night and day,
the heart became happy,
like the leaf of a garden,
I attained now everlasting happiness
materializing the paradise.
On the path, perplexed, worried the dying heart

continued to pray,
when existing naked hungry life took
the last breath,
got then the authority universal.
Life was just to sink,
whole garden was dried up and desolate,
when branches shed the dry leaves and sacked,
Then came sweeping from afar
sweet spring breeze.
192. TO THE COMPANION

Met me today on the path of life,
but will you also bear my company ahead.
On bestowing boon of fearlessness,

will it be possible for you
to express with a silent heart,
No, you cannot be washed out
It is the first night-period of life,

the stars gather in multitudes, encircling the sky.
193.
The cover of dense darkness overspread,
the ray of dawn of success does not gleam.
Not even a little sign of goal looks anywhere,
even tried here to see by the full expanded eyes.
Will you save me from frustration and utter a word,
of inspiration, for moving continuous towards the goal.
No doubt, without provisions and means,
it is impossible to go ahead on a journey.
No doubt, it is impossible anywhere to any person,
to lit the lamp without a small wick and oil.
No doubt, it is impossible to be nourished,
facing the terrible wind,
loaded with destructive material.
I started with the support of your love,
but will you remain compassionate so much
in future also!
SING THE SONG
You say, Sing the song, today.

It is a union-festival,
auspicious and sacred.
You, forcibly fill the vibrations
of pleasant waves in life,
and just then, come quietly,
steal the hearts wealth,
feelings of sadness are lost,
you make me forget past-sufferings.
You are sweetish cool spring
of my lifes stream,
influencing the tune of my lifes poems,
every moment,
at the time of utter defeat,
looking towards you,
I feel myself victorious.
Otherwise, I go ahead silently on the path of life,

just alone and alone,
Otherwise, I climb the mountains
running just alone and alone,
Floated smiting the sea waves with the force of arms,
when a destruction phase surrounded.
194. YOU
196. AGONY
You are tender shoot of my lifes tree.
Afflictions of old wounds

Knowing unknowingly, of all,
still fresh and wet, swelled.
You give distinct recognition to my youth,

lustre lost face got brightened due to you,
your movements prove my living existence, yes.
I admit, during the stormy-rainy season,
I shook from the root,
yet, I sing your song,
thoroughly from the depth of heart,
only, on your strength, I fight fearlessly,
unceasingly.
195. DESIRE
Desire of mine,
just as sky,
restless and shivering,
cant contain itself in the heart,
imagination of mine just
as dense as fresh clouds.
Candid lamp,
constant brightness,
trilling voices of pain are imprisoned
in the heart,
complete life worship of mine
seems well adorned today.
The wave unbearable flows continual,

as if the intense electric current
torments the flesh silently,
like the mud-worms here and there,
surrounding all the corners of the earth,
heartrending and destructive,
deadened and dusty blind storm of death
blows incessantly.
The injured youth cries,
failed to stop with arms,
the clouds of disappointment
today hover in the sky,
there is commotion in life,
in the minds of the people.
the wounds of ages are still fresh
every heart is inflected
with sufferings and pain.
No burns,
sink in nectar,
the un-flickering flame
of heart burns constantly,
always object-oriented is worship of mine.
197. NOT YET
198. LIFE-STREAM
The storm has not arisen yet,

no turmoil, no earthquake
the stars have not fallen yet,
the rival voices not tired nor defeated,
the sense of desired salvation is not yet up
in the hearts of men.
Dread not the new song of lifes revolt,

a new song of creation
It is of rising tempo.
Hectic struggle, the blaze of new light

did not spread up inside or outside,
the sea of the heart did not move a bit,
the rays of new sun, are not yet up,
there is solitary dense darkness on the earth.
Desolate path, rugged susurration,
the trees dried, decayed and roll down,
every particle of the universe is disregarded,
the suffering world has not yet heard
the incantation Let all live!
Let the world change, let the ages pass away,
of cruel suppression and barbarity,
of infirmity of human mind,
the mother has not yet heard,
the cry of a new born child in the new world.
The process slow of mountain formation

governs not the mighty creative human force.
(It is as true as the sky is blue)
The glacier beyond Gangotri
creeps slowly on the slope,
by the gravitational force of earth.
It creates and wrecks on small scale,
and brings about changes trivial
such is not the stream of human revolt.
Refined is popular taste of my time,
morbid it certainly is not.
On the wall of the age
descends a brilliant crimson light,
of conviction bold and glamour rare.
199. INTOLERABLE
Appendix :
I cannot bear now.

Dear, life is difficult,
heart-lyre is mute,
the stroke
of time is unbearable.
DR. MAHENDRA BHATNAGAR
How sad the story is,

how poisonous is the suffering,
it cannot be said in rhythm
and metre.
Where the live love is
where is the beautiful abode,
the heart cannot bathe
in the river of distress.
The happy voice is mute,
life is a silent wave,
oh, it is not possible
to pass through the rugged path.
DR. Mahendra Bhatnagars is one of the significant

post-independence voices in Hindi and Indian English
Poetry, expressing the lyricism and pathos, aspirations
and yearnings of the modern Indian intellect. Rooted
deep into the Indian soil, his poems reflect not only
the moods of a poet but of a complex age.
Born in Jhansi (Uttar Pradesh) at maternal

grandfathers residence on 26 June 1926; 6 a.m.
Primary education in Jhansi, Morar (Gwalior) and
Sabalgarh (Morena); Matric (1941) from High School,
Morar (Gwalior); Inter (1943) from Madhav College,
Ujjain; B.A. (1945) from Victoria College, - at
present, Maharani Laxmi Bai College - Gwalior; M. A.
(1948) and Ph.D. (1957) in Hindi from Nagpur
University; L.T. (1950 ; Madhya Bharat Govt.)
Places of work Bundelkhand, Chambal region and
Malwa.
High School Teacher from July 1945. Retired as
Professor on 1 July 1984 (M.P. Govt. Educational
service).
Selected once for the post of Professor of Hindi
Language & Literature, in Tashkent University, U.S.S.R.
(1978) by UGC & ICCR (NEW DELHI)
Principal Investigator (U.G.C. / Jiwaji University,
Gwalior) from 1984 to 1987.
Professor in the IGNOU Teaching Centre of Jiwaji

University, Gwalior in 1992.
Eleven volumes of poems in English :
Worked as Chairman \ Member of various committees

in Indore University, Vikram University, Ujjain & Dr.
Bhimrao Ambedkar University, Agra.
English translations are accomplished by the poet himself.

Several poems are translated by him; while the rest translated
versions are completely revised and finalized by him.
Worked as a member in the managing committees of

Gwalior Shodh Sansthan, Madhya Pradesh Hindi Granth
Academy & Rashtra-Bhasha Prachar Samiti, Bhopal.
From time to time, poems included in various TextBooks of curricula of Educational Boards & Universities
of India.
Worked as one of the members in the Audition
Committees of Drama / Light Music of All India Radio
(Akashvani) - Stations Indore and Gwalior. Contracted
Song-Writer of All India Radio \ For all Radio Stations
(Light Music Section). Broadcast many poems, talks
and other programmes from Indore, Bhopal, Gwalior
and New Delhi (National Channels) Radio Stations.
Conducted and directed many literary societies in
Ujjain, Dewas, Dhar, Mandsaur and Gwalior.
Appointed as one of the Award-Judges by Bihar
Rashtra-Bhasha Parishad, Patna (1981 & 1983), Uttar
Pradesh Hindi Sansthan, Lucknow (1983), Rajasthan
Sahitya Akademi, Udaipur (1991,1993,1994) & Hindi
Sahitya Parishad, Ahmedabad, Gujrat (2001).
Poems translated, published and broadcast in many
foreign and Indian languages.
*
[1]
FORTY POEMS OF MAHENDRA BHATNAGAR

[Ed. Prof. L.S. Sharma, Head Dept. Eng., Vikram
Unvi., Ujjain (M.P.), Foreword : Dr. Vidya Niwas
Mishra, Tr. Amir Mohammad Khan, L.S. Sharma;
Pub. S. Chand & Co.,New Delhi 55, 1968]
[2]
AFTER THE FORTY POEMS

[Compiled. Sudha Rani,Tr. Prof. Ramsevak Singh Yadav,
Prof. Varendra Kumar Varma, Amir Mohammad Khan;
Pub. S. Chand & Co.,New Delhi 55, 1979]
[3]
EXUBERANCE AND OTHER POEMS

[Tr. Prof. Ravinandan Sinha, Pub. Indian Publishers
Distributors, Delhi 7, 2001]
[4]
DR. MAHENDRA BHATNAGARS POETRY

[Tr. Prof. H.C. Gupta, Pub. Indian Publishers
[5]
DEATH-PERCEPTION : LIFE-PERCEPTION
[Tr. Prof. D. C. Chambial, Pub. Indian Publishers
[6]
PASSION AND COMPASSION

[Tr. Dr. P. Adeshwar Rao, Pub. Indian Publishers
[7]
POEMS : FOR A BETTER WORLD

[ Tr. Kedar Nath Sharma, Pub. Lokvani Prakashan,
New Delhi 49, 2006]
[8]
[9]
LYRIC-LUTE
[Tr. Dr. Shaleen Kumar Singh, Dr. Kalpna Rajput &
Others, Pub. Vista International Publishing House, Delhi
53, 2007]
A HANDFUL OF LIGHT
[Tr. Prof. D. C. Chambial, Pub. National Publishing
House, New Delhi 2, 2007]
[10] NEW ENLIGHTENED WORLD

[Tr. Dr. Anshu Bharadwaj, Dr. Mukesh Sharma, Pub.
Indian Publishers Distributors, Delhi 7, 2010]
[2]
STRUGGLING FOR LIFE

[Poems of faith & optimism : delight & pain. Philosophy
of life.]
Ed. P C K Prem
[Pub. Indian Publishers Distributors, Delhi 7, 2015]
[3]
LOVE POEMS
[4]
NATURE POEMS
[5]
DEATH AND LIFE
*
[11] DAWN TO DUSK
[Tr. Dr. Mukesh Sharma, Kedar Nath Sharma, Dr.
Narendra Sharma Kusum, Pub. Indian Publishers
Distinguished Subject-wise Anthologies :
[1]
POMES : FOR HUMAN DIGNITY

[Poems of social harmony & humanism]
[2]
LIFE : AS IT IS
[Poems of faith & optimism : delight & pain. Philosophy
of life.]
[3]
O, MOON, MY SWEET-HEARET!
[Love poems]
[Pub. Rachanaa Prakashan, Jaipur (Raj.), 2013]
[4]
SPARROW and other poems

[Nature Poems]
[Pub. Aman Prakashan, Kanpur (U.P.) 2015]
Published Bilingual English & Hindi
REPRESENTATIVE COLLECTIONS PUBLISHED IN

ENGLISH
[1]
SELECTED POEMS OF DR. MAHENDRA BHATNAGAR

[Vol. 1]
[Ed. Dr. Vijay Kumar Roy, Pub. 2015]
*
Subject-wise anthologies in English
[Published : E- Books / Pub. Gatha online & Yudu]
[1]
ENGRAVED ON THE CANVAS OF TIME (Vol. - 1 & 2)

[Poems of social harmony & humanism : realistic &
visionary aspects.]
[5]
DEATH AND LIFE

[Poems on Death & Life with criticism]
[Pub. Aman Prakashan, Kanpur (U.P.) 2015]

One volume of translated 108 poems in French
A Modern Indian Poet :

Un Pot Indien Et Moderne
Dr. Mahendra Bhatnagar
[Tr. Prof. Purnima Ray, Pub. Indian Publishers Distributors,
Delhi 7, 2004]
Research & Critical studies :

(1)
THESIS
Post-Independence Voice For Social Harmony And
Humanism :
A STUDY OF SELECTED POEMS OF MAHENDRA
BHATNAGAR
[By Dr. Rama Krishnan Karthikeyan, Madurai Kamraj
University, 2015 / Forthcoming]
(2)
Living Through Challenges :

A STUDY OF DR. MAHENDRA BHATNAGARS
POETRY
[by Dr. B.C. Dwivedy, Pub. Sanjay Prakashan,
New Delhi 2, 2006]
(3)
(4)
DR. MAHENDRA BHATNAGARS POETRY IN THE

EYES OF THE CRITICS
[By Kedar Nath Sharma, Pub. E-Books : Gatha
online, 2015
THE POETRY OF MAHENDRA BHATNAGAR :
REALISTIC & VISIONARY ASPECTS
[Ed. Dr.Vijay Kumar Roy, Pub. 2015]
(5)
CONCERNS AND CREATION :

A CRITICAL STUDY OF MAHENDRA
BHATNAGARS POETRY
[Ed. Dr. R. K. Bhushan, Pub. Indian Publishers
(6)
POET MAHENDRA BHATNAGAR : HIS MIND AND

ART
[Ed. Dr. Suresh Chandra Dwivedi & Dr. Shubha
Dwiwedi, Pub. Vista International Publishing House,
Delhi 53, 2007
Received Awards, four times ( 1952, 1958, 1960,

1985. ) from Madhya Bharat & Madhya Pradesh
Govts.
*
Adviser :
POETCRIT (Half-Yearly / Maranda, H.P.),
Member : National Advisory Board
'THE LITERARY HERALD.' [Satna-M.P.]
Member Advisory Board :
Indian Journal of POSTCOLONIAL LITERATURES
[Half-yearly / Thodupuzha-Kerala]
*
Contact :
110 Balwant Nagar, Gandhi Road,
Gwalior 474 002 (M.P.) INDIA
Phone : 0751-4092908 / M-81 097 300 48
E-Mail : drmahendra02@gmail.com

Struggling For Life

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Mahendra Bhatnagar / 1

Struggling For Life / 2

POETRY OF MAHENDRA BHATNAGAR

EDITED WITH AN INTRODUCTION

Struggling For Life / 4

Dr Mahendra Bhatnagar, an academician of repute, is one of the most

Struggling For Life / 6

With a very long struggling past and struggle for basis in

comes when he demonstrates anxieties for the destiny of man in

Struggling For Life / 10

The Paths Bend

Struggling For Life / 12

Struggling For Life / 14

Every moment carries

Well, how one can be

Then all of a sudden

Struggling For Life / 16

Now and then at least

All my life I was alone,

At least let us get

I did not find anyone

Struggling For Life / 18

I stay on amassing pain,

Faith in perpetual relations,

I was awake throughout nights

O the sense of belonging

Struggling For Life / 20

deception of the union of souls,

Struggling For Life / 22

O why you are wonder-struck,

Struggling For Life / 24

hence at once, be assured

Struggling For Life / 26

Moves of chess begin to move,

By self-experience and practice,

Struggling For Life / 28

What I did throughout life

At the fag end of life,

Mistakes plenty of mistakes,

My body and mind

Let me say like this,

All are amazing

And the rascals looted

Struggling For Life / 30

Neither I was disappointed nor dejected,

Fill my dejected heart

Struggling For Life / 32

Living life is difficult, unbearable

I am running without a pause,

It looks running without a break

The full-moon night vanishes,

Living life is a compulsion,

Look how I run

Struggling For Life / 34

but a boiling hot water tank

and also to far off places,

Bitter experiences gave me

The meanness of man

The fast moving chariot of his life,

Struggling For Life / 38

21. THE DELECTABLE

Struggling For Life / 40

Each moment is welcome.