Efren Allen M.

Valencia
Omit Needless Words
If you go to the store, you will see that the store is closed on Sundays because the storeowner likes to
go to church.
- The store is closed on Sundays because the storeowner likes to go to church.
Keep Average Sentence Length
The band marched along the street, and the director signaled for the drums to play. A red car stopped at
the intersection, and the parents walked beside the band. The parents squirted water into the musicians'
mouths, and the trumpet players started to play. The band past the intersection, and the red car
proceeded down the street.
- As the band marched along the street, the director signaled for the drums to play. A red car stopped at
the intesection. While the parents walked beside the band, they squirted water into the trumpet players'
mouth. The trumpet players started to play. The band marched past the intersection, and the red car
proceeded down the street.
Keep Subject, Verb, and Object Together
If any member of the board retires, the company, at the discretion of the board, and after notice from
the chairman of the board to all the members of the board at least 30 days before executing this option,
may buy, and the retiring member must sell, the member's interest in the company.
- The company may buy a retiring member's interest.
Prefer Active Voice over Passive Voice
The tax return was competed before April 15 deadline by the taxpayer.
- The taxpayer completed the tax return before April 15 deadline.
Parallelism
Her conditions for signing the contract are, first, the commissioner has to approve the terms; second,
that the other players must sign as well.
- Her conditions for signing the contract are, first, that the commissioner must approve the terms, and
second that the other players have to sign.

Avoid Multiple Negatives

Bendola cannot be permitted to stand on nothing more than unsubstantiated and self-laudatory
statements as a basis for denying summary judgment.
- Bendola cannot be permitted to stand on substantiated and self-laudatory statements as a basis for
denying summary judgment.
End Sentence Emphatically
Humanity has hardly advanced in fortitude since that time, though it has advanced in many other ways.
- Humanity, since that time, has advanced in many other ways, but it has hardly advanced in fortitude.