The graph illustrates the proportion of the breakdown of internet users in four

different aged groups in Taiwan in 1998 to 2000. Overall, information super highway
was the least favoured choice for the young children and ageing people, whereas
young people and middle group made up the major contribution among the internet
users.
It can be seen that young adults were accounted for the highest portion of internet
player at 53% in 1998, whilst the second largest internet users was people between
aged 31-50 at 41%. In comparison, young people and ageing people that occupied
at 2% and 4% respectively were accounted for the least internet end users in
Taiwan.
By 1999, the main cyberspace players were still dominated by people from
adolescent and mature people, at 45% and 39% of the total internet market, which
subsequently decreased slightly to 44% and 37% in year 2000. However, the rate of
both young children and graying population jumped significantly to 8% in 1999 and
then increased moderately to 9% and 10% accordingly in the following year.

Kindly please grade the essay according to table below, so I can

better identify my mistakes.
Task
achievement

Coherence/Cohesi
on

Lexical Resource

Grammar &
Accuracy