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PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara: PO Box 617 Buffalo, NY 14207 716-883-0384
PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara: PO Box 617 Buffalo, NY 14207 716-883-0384
PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara
Parents, Families, Friends and Allies United with LGBTQ People
PO Box 617
Buffalo, NY 14207
716-883-0384
info@pflagbuffalo.org
www.pflagbuffalo.org
www.facebook.com/pflag.niagara
September Meeting
Sunday, September 20 @ 2:30-5:00
Kenilworth United Church of Christ
45 Dalton Drive, Tonawanda, NY 14223
The sharing meetings are held at Kenilworth United Church of Christ, 45 Dalton Drive, Tonawanda 14223,
from 2:30-5:00. Newcomers and anyone interested will be offered the option of meeting privately with a PFLAG
parent. Our monthly meetings are in the library, which is near the parking lot entrance. The facility is
handicapped accessible. New Parents Meetings are scheduled as needed at a location convenient to those
involved. These self-help one-on-one meetings deal with the concerns of parents and family members who
have recently learned that a loved one is gay.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
We meet because we have learned that someone very close to us is Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender. We try to help one
another deal with this information in a positive manner. Although we do not agree at all times, we try to be understanding. We
offer help to those who seek it, but do not force ourselves on others. We strive to maintain anonymity while sharing on a level that
is comfortable for all of us. We encourage all to attend meetings for their own
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Fall is always a time of anticipation. With that can come excitement and anxiety for our children and in
ourselves.
Here are some tips for LGBT-headed households as we all head back to school.
1.) Start your school routines early. If meal and bed times change during the school year, start that process early to help
with your child adjusting.
2.) Establish back to school rituals and routines. In our family, it was a time for new haircuts (for mom, too) and new
shoes. We also took a first day of school photo every year, K12.
3.) Be proactive. Give your child's teacher a heads up about your expectations as a parent and how you'd like them to
address and respond to other children's questions about your family. Most teachers want to do a good job and will be
better able to do that if we help them with language that describes our families. Our children's teachers were happy to
hear from us and felt supported by our actionsin turn, they supported our children.
4.) Notice if your child is excited or anxious about the return to school. Check in with them and find out why. Engage
them in a conversation about school safety and having and being an ally. Help them to identify adults (and other
children) they can turn to while at school for support.
5.) Be realistic, not overly worried. We don't need to be overly worried about our children feeling safe and welcomed at
school, but it is important that we be realistic. Sometimes children, including children from LGBTQ-headed households,
can be teased or bullied for their differences.
6.) Build resilience. Help your child feel proud of who they are and where they come from. Share stories and read books
that reflect your family in a positive light. Share books you like with your child's teacher, too. (The Welcoming Schools
bibliography can help with this.)
7.) Don't go it alone. As parents, it can be isolating and confusingremember we are continuing to learn right along
with our children. It can be helpful to tap into any resources available at your child's school, be they of the educational
or financial variety. Work to build your own support network; our network included lots of LGBTQ families, but also
plenty of other family structures. This support can help you be the best parent you can be.
Through its Welcoming Schools program, the Human Rights Campaign Foundation works to give educators,
parents and administrators in school districts across the country the necessary tools to create learning environments in
which all students are welcomed and respected. Learn more at WelcomingSchools.org
PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara
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closed up and often angry, and struggles with his family's secret: his brother is in prison, and
his parents never mention it. Meanwhile, Dante is sensitive and intellectual, with a family he
loves. As Ari and Dante's friendship develops, Dante falls in love with Ari. As Publishers Weekly
noted, "It's a tender, honest exploration of identity and sexuality, and a passionate reminder
that love--whether romantic or familial--should be open, free, and without shame."
'Beauty Queens' by Libba Bray (Scholastic, 2011)
In this satirical novel, a plane full of Miss Teen Dream beauty pageant contestants
crashes onto a desert island, where they must struggle to survive in the face of giant snakes, a
sinister Corporation (that has suggestive ties to the Miss Team Dream pageant), and an Elvisobsessed dictator named MoMo B. ChaCha.
It's all in the name of sending up our cultural obsession with beauty, and the diverse
cast of crashed beauty queens includes lesbian, bisexual, and transgender characters. The New
York Times declared, "Beauty Queens is a madcap surrealist satire of the world in which [Libba
Bray's] readers have come of age--reality TV, corporate sponsorship, product placement,
beauty obsession--but ultimately, it's a story of empowering self-discovery."
'Boy Meets Boy' by David Levithan (Alfred A. Knopf, 2003)
When high school sophomore Paul meets Noah -- a newly arrived senior -- at a
bookstore, Paul falls into immediate crush. In some YA novels, this kind of experience would be
followed up with coming-out issues, but there's no need for that here, because Paul has known
he was gay for a long time. "I've always known I was gay, but it wasn't confirmed until I was in
kindergarten," Paul explains. "It was my teacher who said so. I twas right there on my
kindergarten report card: PAUL IS DEFINITELY GAY AND HAS VERY GOOD SENSE OF SELF."
From the book's first pages, it's clear that Paul's world could be called a "gaytopia," in which
it's way more than okay to be gay. This groundbreaking novel is a modern classic.
'Boyfriends With Girlfriends' by Alex Sanchez (Simon & Schuster BFYR, 2011)
Sergio, a bisexual teen, meets Lance, a gay teen, online, and the two arrange for a date
at the local mall. Each brings a friend with them; Sergio brings his lesbian best friend Kimiko,
while Lance brings his straight (or is she?) friend Allie. In this fast-paced, soapy story, Kimiko
falls for Allie, who realizes she might not be as straight as she thought she was, while Lance
PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara
struggles to accept Sergio's bisexuality. In a starred review, Booklist stated, "Sanchez [has]
written another innovative, important book that explores, with empathy and sympathy, largely
ignored aspects of teen sexual identity. While lip service is routinely given to these aspects in
the acronym GLBTQ, there have been only a handful of novels that so plausibly and
dramatically bring the nature of bisexuality and sexual questioning to life."
'The Difference Between You and Me' by Madeleine George (Viking, 2012)
Fifteen-year-old Jesse Halberstam wears big green fisherman's boots, cuts her hair with
a Swiss Army knife, and plasters the school with posters from NOLAW, the National
Organization to Liberate All Weirdos. Jesse came out when she was fourteen.
Emily Miller is student council vice president, wears cardigans from J. Crew, and is
seeking out corporate sponsorship for the school's formal dance. Emily has a long-term
boyfriend. The only thing Jesse and Emily boyfriend. The only thing Jesse and Emily have in
common is every Tuesday afternoon in the library bathroom, where they make out in secret.
Told in alternating chapters, this sharp, funny book explores love, politics, and what really
makes us who we are. It's not necessarily sexual orientation.
'Empress of the World' by Sara Ryan (Viking, 2001)
Nicola Lancaster wants to be an archaeologist, and she hopes to focus on that when she
attends the Siegel Institute Summer Program for Gifted Youth. But her first day there she
notices Battle Hall Davies, a girl with beautiful blond hair who is also a dancer. Over the course
of the summer, Nic and Battle's friendship develops into something more, forcing Nic, who
thought she was straight, to question her sexual orientation. Written in the first person with
excerpts from Nic's journal, Empress of the World realistically and sympathetically explores
bisexuality and friendship.
'I Am J' by Cris Beam (Little, Brown, 2011)
Seventeen-year-old J was born "Jenifer," but J has never felt like a girl. He has always
felt like a boy. This story about J's transition from female to male takes J away from his home
to an LGBT high school and a transgender support group in Manhattan, where he finds a
community of trans folk. In a starred review, Booklist described I Am J as "Easily the best
book to date about the complicated condition of being a transsexual teen, not only sharing
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important information that is artfully woven into the plot but also creating, in is artfully woven
into the plot but also creating, in J, a multilayered, absolutely believable character whose pain
readers will share. Perhaps most importantly, the author brings clarity and charity to a state of
being that has too long been misunderstood, ignored, and deplored."
Its Our Prom (So Deal With It) Anne Peters (Little, Brown, 2012)
High school senior Azure is recruited by her principal to turn their school's traditional
prom into an "alternative prom" that will include everyone -- not just the popular kids who can
afford to spend a lot of money on tuxes and limos. Azure invites her best friends, Luke, a
theater geek, and Radhika, a straight-A student, to help out. One problem? Both Azure (who is
an out lesbian) and Luke (who is openly bisexual) have crushes on Radhika.
'Parrotfish' by Ellen Wittlinger (Simon & Schuster BFYR, 2007)
When Angela Katz-MacNair comes out as transgendered, he chooses a new name:
Grady. His family and friends struggle with his new identity, but Grady finds support in
unexpected places, including a classmate who explains that parrot fish can change their
gender, and a beautiful popular girl who seems to understand him. VOYA raved, "Peopled with
wonderfully wacky characters and scenes, this narrative snaps and crackles with wit, even
while it touches the spirit of the sensitive reader."
'Wildthorn' by Jane Eagland (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2010)
In this historical novel set in nineteenth-century England, seventeen-year-old Louisa Cosgrove
is locked into Wildthorn Hall, an insane asylum for women, and is told that her name is Lucy
Childs. The mystery of why Louisa has been sentenced to the madhouse under this different
name unfolds through flashbacks that I will not reveal here, but suffice it to say: Louisa's not
straight. After an attempt to run away from the asylum, Louisa is moved into a ward for
seriously insane women, and the only kindness she finds comes from an attendant, Eliza.
Though the setup might make readers believe there can be no happy ending, Wildthorn is a
rare YA historical novel written in the Sarah Waters mode -- which means yes, happy endings
are possible, even for lesbians in nineteenth century England. Louisa is moved into a ward for
seriously insane women, and the only kindness she finds comes from an attendant, Eliza.
Though the setup might make readers believe there can be no happy ending, Wildthorn is a
PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara
rare YA historical novel written in the Sarah Waters mode -- which means yes, happy endings
are possible, even for lesbians in nineteenth century England.
Interested in reading and/or sharing ideas for other works of LGBT fiction? We
cannot post all titles and lists here, but if you go to www. goodreads.com you will
find other lists, titles, and summaries.
https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/21984.Best_Gay_Novels_for_Young_Adults
https://www.goodreads.com/shelf/show/lgbt-fiction
]
Fisher-Price is hoping to increase the visibility of same-sex parents with a new, all-inclusive
photo campaign.
The toy company has teamed up with Proud Parenting, an online community forum for
LGBT parents, for the launch of the Proud Parenting LGBT Family Photo Gallery. The project is a
curated photo collection of LGBT parents and their families that will be featured across digital
media outlets and promoted by Gay Ad Network on a number of websites and mobile apps. You
can check out the photo gallery on the web, as well as on Facebook and Instagram.
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Proud Parenting Editor-in-Chief Jeff Bennett says he hopes the campaign will help "lead
the way for a new generation of families." A press release pointed to an estimated three million
LGBT Americans who are parents, and six million Americans who have a parent who identifies
as LGBT. "Fisher-Price is proud to help all parents give their children the best possible start in
life," Hailey Sullivan, Fisher-Price's Director of Marketing, said in a press release.
Meanwhile, the effort also earned praise from Gabriel Blau of the Family Equality Council,
who applauded Fisher-Price for "sharing our family stories with the nation."
Fisher-Price is owned by Mattel, whose iconic lineup of brands also includes Barbie, Hot
Wheels and American Girl, among others.
PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara
Sponsoring Membership ... $100 (Business Card Advertisement ($100 per year)
Donations of $50.00 or more can be included in the chapter newsletter with your permission.
Make checks payable to PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara and mail to: P.O. Box 617 Buffalo, NY 14207
PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara is a non-profit 501(c)3 and donations are tax-deductible.
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