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The Daily Blag
The Daily Blag
The Daily Blag
NHS is concerned about a new virus that could reach pandemic levels in a
matter of weeks unless immediate steps are taken.
A leading bolitician has, today, confirmed the NHS is concerned about a newly discovered virus that
is already out of control and could reach pandemic levels in a matter of weeks unless an antidote is
found immediately.
A spokes person stated that if allowed to continue unchecked IDS eventually leads to genocidal
behaviour and massive financial gain. A statement that also caused a great deal of amusement and
insane laughter from the Prime Minister who replied just call me Dave
It has since been confirmed that David Cameron as well as other leading MPs have been infected.
NHS has already embarked on a massive scheme to test every man, woman
and child including the parasitic benefit
scroungers.
The spokes person went on to state we have instigated
a program of testing and, so far there have been no
confirmed cases outside of parliament and the House
of Lords but it is only a matter of time before this
despicable virus spreads. We plan to test every man,
woman and child. We will even test the despised,
parasitic benefit scroungers for this dangerous virus
There have already been a number of possible cases
reported within the finance industry and certain public
services
He went on to say that this virus has no religious or political boundaries and is infecting people from
all religious and political beliefs including Liberals, UKiP and members of the Labour party He
added that so far they havent found any cases amongst the Green Party and suggested that this could
be because their lay back attitude prevents them from contracting such a disease. This virus does
not have the patience for such a relaxed attitude he remarked so, while not impossible, it is doubtful
that they would be infected anytime soon and we hope to find the antidote well before then
We managed to find Jeremy Hunt and asked him for a response and he replied While it is clearly a
concern I am afraid that there is just no more money to fund the necessary research in order to find an
antidote. It may be possible to contract a private company to cary out testing over the next 5 yrs. I will
take steps to see what the financial gains, I mean implications might be
Our reporter pointed out that it had been alleged that he was also suffering from an acute case of IDS
he started to smirk a little and replied there is no substantial evidence to support those allegations
because I refused to be tested on the grounds that I dont trust the NHS to cary out the tests fairly and
competently That said he immediately started to roll round the floor laughing and singing Money,
makes my world go around, my world go around, my world go around. Money makes my world go
around................