Running head: TECHNOLOGY AND THE FATE OF RELATIONSHIPS

Technology and the Fate of Relationships

Katalina Villamil
Whitworth University

TECHNOLOGY AND THE FATE OF RELATIONSHIPS

I. Topic, Issues and Viewpoints

This paper will explore how technology is affecting the way that we as people interact
with one another and what this shift in interaction means for the fate of our relationships.
Technology is undoubtedly mans greatest tool in this day in age. With the tap of a finger
we can play games, watch live television, connect with someone across the globe and access
the largest, and most accessible hub of information in the world: the Internet. Technology not
only provides its users with vast amounts of knowledge and resources, but it also broadens their
connectivity in a matter of milliseconds. There exist many benefits to technology; to this there is
no denying. It allows us to learn new things, meet new people, keep in contact with others its
the Swiss Army Knife for our lives; a multi-utility tool that knows no bounds. But nowadays,
technology is so convenient that it has become a crutch for our existence. We literally can
survive without even having to take a step out our front door. Technology is isolating us from the
outside world and we are just letting it happen for the sake of convenience. The biggest
detriment this causes is in our interpersonal skills and our functionality of human beings in the
real, working world.
Many argue that technology makes us more connected than ever and that people are
able to build more relationships, more quickly due to the efficiency of hardware. Although this
may be true, it is the quality of these relationships that are in question not the existence of them.
The argument is that an excessive or constant use of technology over time decreases our
interpersonal skills, and consequently harms our real-world relationships leaving us only with
superficial online relationships. Technological activity is a constant solitary experience with no
face-to-face interaction, thus it can only foster an isolated and detached mentality. Studies have
shown that engagement in an excessive amount of technological activity can lead to loss of
friends, and even symptoms of loneliness and depression.1 Interpersonal skills and relationships
are a huge component of life and being able to function in our world today. Overuse of
technology can lead to the disruption (or even destruction) of core relationships and hinder
personal growth that comes along with learning how to interact with others in the real world.

Mabry, S. Immersion in a Digital World [PowerPoint Slides]

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II. Borgmanns Scientific Revolution Driven By Technology

Social scientist, Albert Borgmann, states that our society is experiencing another scientific
revolution, one that is solely driven by technology.
Borgmann has considered the impact of technology and related industries on society.
He acknowledges the beneficial aspects of technology that we would not want to brush
aside; however he also identifies a device paradigm of technology at the heart of the
crisis of contemporary culture. Resulting from this device paradigm, he labels an
emerging postmodern philosophy Hypermodernism, associated with the social effects
of sophisticated technology and a related idealized universe. 2
Hypermodernmism portrays the societal impacts of technology in an idealized world, one in
which hyper-activity dominates all aspects of life and results in obsession with work, a sullen
and cynical resignation to decline, and an overall lack of civility.3
Personally, I agree with Borgmanns statement. Everyday there is some type of new
advancement in technology that affects society in some way or another. It is fact that majority of
the industries that make up our world today rely on technology to function and improve. With
technology dominating so much of the working realm, it is only natural for technologys presence
to diffuse into the social realm as well. But as Borgmann points out, increasing reliance on
technology only builds up this idea of hypermodernism in which we see this steady decline in
real world connectivity. The question is what might this new philosophy do to our relationships
and how we will interact with others? An era of hypermodernism will only be a detriment to our
relationships; with all of our focus trained on technology, we do not prioritize the time to put in
the work needed to maintain significant social ties.
III. Social Implications
A world reliant on technology will eventually, no doubt, have an affect on the way our
social lives are conducted and can even affect our success in a working environment. To say
that relationships cannot be made at all due to our use of technology would be a clear denial of
the facts, but to say that technology is slowly destroying our ability to uphold face-to-face
interactions would not be far from reality. Nowadays, especially with younger generations,

2 Mabry, S. (2012). In Crosswinds of a Digital World (Chapter 8).

3 Mabry, S. Technology, Faith & Ethics [PowerPoint Slides].

TECHNOLOGY AND THE FATE OF RELATIONSHIPS

technological activity is increasingly replacing face-to-face interactions with the people around
us such as family and friends. Family and friends are the best support you can have in your life,
but it takes a lot of work to maintain and uphold these relationships. Replacing face-time with
tech time distracts us from the relationships that are the closest and most real to us. Online
friends can be great and can allow you to connect with people from across the globe, however
those arent the relationships that will be there for you if you have an emergency in the middle of
the night. That is what your real-life relationships are for. But neglecting to put in the time and
work necessary to form and maintain these social ties will inevitably result in their loss.
Moreover, the interpersonal skills it takes to work on your close relationships with friends and
family can also extend to the professional world. Failing to constantly keep these skills sharp
could potentially be a detriment to you in your work. One of the biggest qualities that employers
look for nowadays is the ability to communicate and work with others. No one wants to hire a
person that cannot interact or get along with clients, let alone the rest of the company. Being
able to hold a face-to-face conversation and engage with another individual is crucial in the
professional realm. And although technology-based communication is being increasingly
utilized, the value of in-person interaction still has not depreciated. As we become a world that is
more and more dependent on technology, we could unfortunately see a future generation that is
both unable form close relationships with those around them and inept to successfully perform
in the workplace.
What would a world without real life relationships even look like? Relationships surround
us even when we dont realize it. In neighborhoods, in schools, in the workplace, even in the
local grocery store, we somehow form bonds through physical interaction wherever we go. If
this suddenly went away, our whole idea of what life is like would radically change. Face-to-face
communication is a key component to functioning in society; so much can be said through a
look, touch, body language, the tone of ones voiceetc, but all of this unspoken
communication is lost behind a screen when we resort to technology. Can one effectively
convey the true depth of their happiness without being able to show someone their smile or the
true depth of their sadness without showing them their tears? The best of friends know each
others mannerisms, the sounds of their laugh, the face they make when their angry all of the
things impossible to know when you build relationships behind a keyboard and a glass screen.
The ability to connect with others is hardwired into our way of living, but our tendency to hide
behind technology increasingly suppresses this instinct.

TECHNOLOGY AND THE FATE OF RELATIONSHIPS

Ian Barbour categorizes the dramatic impact that technology has on society through
three broadly defined views: optimistic, pessimistic, and contextualist. Optimists take a futurist
view, seeing technology as a liberator. In their eyes technology promises productivity, freedom
and an overall better quality of life. On the opposite side of the spectrum, Pessimists view
technology as a serious threat to our way of life; an instigator of problems in areas such as
social justice issues, privacy, employment, and the dehumanization of warfare and relationships.
In the middle are Contextualists who view technology as neutral; they believe technology is
deemed good or bad through the way someone decides to use it rather than by the actual
technology itself. Depending on its application and usage, technology can become a form of
idolatry and a threat to human existence, or technology can be a far-reaching expression of
concern for persons.4
The viewpoint that excessive technology reliance can foster healthy relationships would fall
under the Optimist category, with proponents agreeing that technology usage can only foster
positive outcomes. The viewpoint this paper takes that heavy usage of technology inevitably
leads to a retardation of relationships and overall interpersonal skills would most definitely be
classified as the position of a Pessimist. However, I personally would put myself in the
Contexualist category. Although I do firmly believe that technology dependence leads to an
unhealthy social life, I still realize that technology has, and will continue to have, its many
benefits as long as it is used correctly. Technology is ultimately a tool, probably the most useful
one we have at our disposal this day in age, but while it can be used to enhance the quality of
life it can be either misused or used too much at the same time. If we do not learn how to control
our dependency on technology, we could suffer harsh repercussions. Technology is our modern
double-edged sword, both a blessing and a curse.
IV. Ethics
Throughout the years, Ive come to realize that what I value most in life and in this world
are relationships. And no, Im not just saying this because of the topic of this paper. Through my
20 years of experience, the different relationships Ive had with people have impacted my life so
much as to lead me to firmly believe in the importance of them. I believe that the bonds you
create with others are a true testament to your character and are what ultimately bring the

Mabry, S. (2012). In Crosswinds of a Digital World (Chapter 8).

TECHNOLOGY AND THE FATE OF RELATIONSHIPS

greatest joy in life. There are a lot of things that we could spend our time on in this world, but at
the end of the day it is the people around you that will be there for you. When we take the time
to really work on our relationships, we not only can avoid a lot of conflict that is present in
society today but we can enrich our lives as well as others.
Barbour proposed that,
The challenge for our generation is to redirect technology toward human and
environmental values on planet earth.5
Rather than letting technology consume us, we should be conscious of our usage and apply it
towards making sound, ethical judgments for the betterment of society in areas such as basic
human needs, economic efficiency, job satisfaction, social justice etc. A reliance on the belief
that relationships are the basis for a fulfilled life rather than the capabilities of technology will not
only help to guide decision making in your social life, but in the professional world as well.
Technology can certainly be used as a tool to enhance people skills or effectiveness of
communication, but face-to-face interaction should not be devalued.
Strive to be passionate for people, thats the key to success. Whether it is in the working
world or your social life, take the time to understand others, talk to others, and study the way
they act or react learn to communicate. Your voice and your ears are more meaningful than
you know. People will appreciate that you grab at the opportunity to get to know them in a
personal and physical setting, rather than relegating your conversation with them to the likes of
a few exchanged texts or emails. When you learn to prioritize your time around others, then you
can begin to use technology as a way to keep up with and enhance that. Eventually you will find
that your people skills are an appealing attribute, to your friends, to your family, to your
coworkers, and even to potential companies looking to hire.
In a commencement speech given at Boston University by Google chairperson,Eric
Schmidt, he urged students to turn their electronics off at least one-hour a day and have real
conversations with their friends and family and experience the world around them through their
senses and not just a screen.
Life, he said, is not lived in the glow of a monitor.6

Mabry, S. Technology, Faith & Ethics [PowerPoint Slides].

Smith, J. (2012). Eric Schmidt in Boston University commencement speech: no electronics for one hour a
day. Retrieved from http://9to5google.com/2012/05/20/eric-schmidt-in-boston-university-commencementspeech-no-electronics-for-one-hour-a-day/

TECHNOLOGY AND THE FATE OF RELATIONSHIPS

These are powerful words coming from the man whose company founded Gmail, Google
Search, and more. There will always be a time and a place for the use of technology, but when it
comes to relationships, put down the phone, shut down the computer and look up. You might
miss the opportunity to develop a bond that you never knew was possible from behind your
screen.

Related Article: http://www.wbur.org/2013/01/17/digital-lives-i

TECHNOLOGY AND THE FATE OF RELATIONSHIPS