I was separated with Lina right when we got off the helicopter.

She was escorted to a

gray building that was heavily guarded while I was being moved with a few other
hostages to a bungalow that held injured soldiers. Sitting down, I felt the aches and
throbs from our escape.
We made it out. Out of the jungle, out of the fear.
I sigh, exhaustion washing over my body.
Hey, you cant fall asleep yet. I have to tend to your cut eye and bruised jaw. A
women in a Colombian military uniform says, while quickly gathering supplies to sew
my eye up.
Where am I? My throat is dry.
Safe. I cant really say much until you talk to my commander and go through
processing. All I can tell you is that youre safe and that the FARC cant find you here. I
stiffen.
Relax, that girl you were with is getting processed right now. You will see her
soon. I nod silently.
I am going to start with your eye then jaw, this might hurt a bit. The women
says. I close my eyes and wait for the pain. This is nothing compared to what is going to
come.

A pair of hands lift me out of my cot and lead me down a dark hall. Im escorted to a
small room lit by a dim fluorescent light, seated in front of a broad shouldered man with
an unreadable expression. Age creased around his mouth and eyes.
Im General Oscar Gonzalez, the current commander of The National Army of
Colombia. Please state your name and your business with FARC. His voice was cold. I
let a few seconds go by trying to relax.
Im just a hostage. I was taken from my family one night and Ive never seen
them again. There was some truth to that. I havent seen my family in a long time, but I
wasnt taken. I chose to be there. I needed a better life and that seemed like it would get
me there.
How long have you been there?
I decided to say the truth.
Seven years. My words left a heavy silence in the air.
How old are you?
17.
So how did you and Lina meet?
I tried my best not to stutter. We uh- were in the same hostage group. We met three
years ago. We became pretty close. I uh- want to keep traveling with her. My eyes
darted around the room.
Do you know anything about FARC or their plans? His tone grew more serious.
I uh- no. I know, we know nothing. My palms became moist as I prayed this
talk was almost over.
What have you done? I need you to be honest now. I know you were probably
forced to participate in vicious crimes, you will not be charged. I stayed silent.
I need you to speak up, FARC wont know your identity. You are safe. His eyes
softened. I took a deep breath.

Ive helped kidnap people, torture them, and have ruined small towns. I did very
bad things, but I only did them to survive. I didnt think about the effects of my actions,
we were always occupied so we didnt have time to think about what we did. I sigh,
letting the words sink in.
Why did they keep you and Lina around, we know they usually kill the hostages
that are useless. Why were you different? His voice now skeptical.
I-I dont know. I dont know what they want with Lina I swear, they always
talked to us separately. I guess Im pretty educated in the medical field. After about
three years of harsh imprisonment I had to do my part. FARC was losing the fight fast,
men started dying and more people were needed on the outside of the jungle. When that
happened some of the prisoners were put to work. I grew up interested in science but
my mother couldnt afford to keep me in school. I would sneak books and such to study
because I knew my education was my ticket out. Once FARC kidnapped me that dream
seemed impossible. I would try to go to the medical wing and watch the injured men
being worked on. Soon I learned the ropes and was put to work. I enjoyed it a lot
actually, I got to continue learning about different diseases, infections, DNA, and
treatments. They kept me alive because I became the only person keeping the terrorists
alive. My voice became bitter. My passion became a weapon and even though I was
used for bad, I still want to advance as a genetic engineer. Thats why I need to go to the
US. I plead, my eyes glued to my lap.
He knows Im not a hostage. I will be killed or worse; sent back to FARC.
My stomach rumbled softly. When can I eat?
The man stood up. Right now, thank you for your cooperation. We have to always be
careful rescuing hostages in case they are secret FARC members in disguise. I flinched
at his words and looked down.
He gently touches my back, Come on, Ill take you to Lina.

We enter a bigger room where about twenty refugees are milling around. Some sleeping,
some eating, some just sitting and thinking. I examine every face until a pair of gray eyes
connect with mine and I smile slightly.
Shes safe. Were safe.
FARC! A young boy around the age of twelve stands up pointing at me. Now all
eyes are on me. I only watch as Linas face contorts into fear.
FARC! FARC! He is a part of FARC! I remember him! Again the boy is louder,
pointing to me.
Damn it! How could I think no one would remember my face, remember my actions.
They all know me as the soldier from FARC. The terrorist, the enemy. That wasnt
really me, I didnt mean to be that person. I just needed to survive.
This room was in a split second hiatus, then everything erupted into chaos. Lina rushes
toward me as two other soldiers attempt to grab me. I land a clean punch on the shorter
soldier, sending him to the floor. Then kick the taller soldier in the knee and grab his
gun. People are screaming and orders are being yelled to secure the base. I find Lina,
pulling her towards the double doors.

We need to find an exit off this compound. She pants as we run down the dark
hall. We weave through the compound, approaching a door to the outside.
I need to find you a safe place to hide. This is not your problem. I said.
Im not leaving you Diego, we need to get to the US together. No matter your
past with FARC I trust you. I know what you want, and America has it. You can finally
live. She stops running and squeezes my hand.
I want to go but I dont want you in danger. I let Linas hand go. I dont want to
cause you any more pain.
I was in FARC for three years Diego, Im strong and can handle myself. Her
eyes shone with pride. We will make it, I promise. Lina said while attaching our hands
again. She flinched when the sound of gunfire rang through the air.
We can hide in the jungle and head north until we reach a city. From there we
will catch a train and ride it to Mexico. I start running, gripping the gun in the other
hand.
If Lina trusts me then I can trust her. We will make it to the US. We will live our
dreams.

Dawn was on the horizon by the time Lina and I wake up in an alley about 50 miles from
the compound. I lull her back to sleep and head out looking for food. I walk along the
dirty streets, gang members drinking out of cheap bottles and smoking poorly rolled
joints.
This would be my fate if I didnt join FARC. I wasnt going to become street scum
Maybe I became worse?
I saw a fruit stand and begged the woman to spare two mangos and a bottle of water. I
came back to Lina who was wrapping her right forearm in a strip of cloth.
When did that happen? Why didnt you tell me before, it can get infected! I
uncap the water but she stops me.
Calm down Diego! I got snagged by a fence, Ill live. She said. I nod and hand
her a mango.
This is what I could find for now, we can get more later.
Dont worry, this is more than I got some days back in FARC. She whispers. I
look away ashamed.
Im sorry. I never meant to torture anyone. I just didnt want to live in fear. I
mumble after moments of silence.
So you decided to become the fear instead? Thats great. Lina sarcastically
chuckles. I clench my fists.
She doesnt understand my life. She doesnt know me. She thinks I wanted to become a
monster. Shes wrong.
If you are constantly going to accuse me of being the enemy then you can leave. I
dont need you. You dont get it, no one does. I did what I had to do to survive, thats it. I
just needed to get out of my shitty neighborhood, and since FARC kept me alive, I am
damn grateful for it. I did bad things, I kept quiet and did what I was told but I lived
longer and learned more than a hell of a lot of people that I used to know. I can survive,
I will survive. I will make it to the US and live my dream. I will be something and I dont
need people like you stopping me. My face was flushed, breathing in the bitter warm

air. Linas gray eyes were pried open in shock and her jaw was slack. The icy silence was
broken by her soft voice.
Im sorry Diego. I was just filled with so much hate through the years. I said
before that you are not the enemy, and Im sticking to that. You are not the enemy. I
need you and I want to get to the US too. I will try to understand you better, we all have
history and Im sorry for grouping you with those terrorists. You are more and I hope
you get to live your dream. She grips my clenched hands causing them to relax, Let's
get there together. Her eyes twinkled in the early afternoon sun and I couldnt help
getting lost in them. Holding onto her small hands I knew she understood me a little
better. We needed each other and needed a life within the US. Right now nothing is
going to stop us.

By 5 o'clock we had left Northern Bogota where the Colombian Army camp was and
were heading north west to the coastline of Choco where we would catch a boat ride to
Las Tablas in Panama. Lina had talked to many farmers on our way, each person giving
us more information and directions to the United States. Lina was smart and persistent
as we hitchhiked with other migrants, never once did she complain throughout our 13
hour commute, which struck me with immense admiration towards her. Along the way
to Choco I made weapons and pitched shelter every night. We talked about our dreams
and I found out she wanted to be a teacher. As the boat docked other migrants rushed
off into the thick lush of forest. Lina starts to walk away yet my feet stayed planted on
the wet sand.
Diego, come on we need to reach the resting point before dark. I nod but am
still frozen.
Whats wrong? She asked.
We left. We arent in Colombia anymore. Everything I had, the person I was is all
there. I dont know anything anymore. A cloud of doubt started to invade my thoughts.
Listen to me, back there you were a bad guy but now you are free from that title.
You dont need to fear FARC anymore, they cant hurt you. Everything you grew up with
was people telling you what to do, now you can do what you want. You are in control
Diego. If you want to be someone you can, but you cant make those dreams come true
in poverty, you have to go somewhere where opportunity is on every street corner, a
place where ambition is smiled upon. Trust me when I say that the United States is your
best and only option. Stick with me and we can both achieve greatness. Lina spoke
delicately but determination clearly laced through her words. I believe her; I trust her.
Youre the closest thing Ive had to a friend or family Lina, thank you. I trust
you. I smile but her face doesnt seem soft anymore.
Just know Diego that in the US anything could happen. Her bold voice now
timid.
But no matter what we will stick together like you said. We both dont have
family or money but having each other is enough. I grip her hand but she doesnt
squeeze back this time.
Diego I.. Her shoulders slump forward, Diego I just- I- lets not talk about our
pasts ok? Promise me from now on, we will only look towards the future. She slips her
hand out of mine.

I promise. Lina takes the lead towards the towering trees and I follow. She
enters but again I dont move.
Diego I thought we just talked about this. She sighs.
No its not that. I promised you that we wont talk about our future right? Lina
nods cautiously. Well now you have to promise me something.
Anything.
Promise me that you will stick with me on our journey and in the US. Promise
me that I can trust you. A blanket of silence washes over.
I promise. She smiles and holds out her hand. Hesitantly I take it and she
instantly squeezes back. The gesture is subtle but it still made my heart race.
Here we are hand in hand and hearts filled with desire. I am free.

The rest stop sat in tall grass to the left of rusted train tracks. On the outside walls gang
names were graffitied across each other marking their territory. Phone numbers,
addresses, and messages to loved ones crisscrossed the front door. The sun started to set
as Lina and I sat against the house finally resting from the three hour walk. I hand her a
banana and half a bottle of water. Our supplies are growing scarce but we knew there
would be days like this. We sit in silence watching the sun hid behind the green
mountains.
Diego! I think thats the train. Lina shook me awake in the dark.
We see smoke billow out into the sky and the yellow lights drawing near. We gather our
stuff and wait along the tracks.
Prepare yourself, the track curves around here so the train will slow. Remember
what the other migrants said: we only have a split second to hop on before it speeds up
again. Lina tightens her backpack waiting to jump on. Moments later the rattling train
blows past us. Bodies fly through the sky and people roll onto the grass. Two carts back I
spot a ladder as other men and women climb down it. I pull Lina along as we race side
by side the train. My stomach flips as I push off into the air, arms outstretched. My body
slams against the solid metal. Wincing in pain, I pull myself up a few rungs to leave
space for Lina.
Diego! Her pace starts to slow.
Jump! Hurry! I shout. Lina leaps into the air and hits the ladder with a thud.
Breathing hard, I climb to the top of the cart which seats three other passengers. Lina
climbs in and collapses into my arms.
Are you okay? I lower her in the corner.
Yes, that jump took more strength than I thought. She says while rubbing her
ribs.
The hard part is over now dont worry. We ride this train all the way North, find
our smuggler and then head to the US. She shakes her head.
Youre wrong Diego. I face her but her eyes are already closed. I sit up against the wall
and look up at the starless sky silently. Right before I fall asleep Lina whispers, Youre
wrong Diego, that was the easy part. The hard part is soon coming. Too tired to react I
let the darkness engulf me.

Todos, listen up! We will be loading you guys up into different vehicles, you will
stay in there for three hours at the most. Pay half now and the other half depending on
where you need to go. A middle aged man named Gabriel said.
You sure about this Diego? We only have 2,000 pesos and have only known
Gabriel for a week. Linas face full of doubt.
Im sure, once were across we just have to ride all the way up to LA, then we are
on our own. I say.
Time to pay up. Gabriel says. I hand him 1,000 pesos and climb into the bottom
of a truck. When Lina gets in Gabriel runs over the plan again.
You will be driven across the border into a state called California. They will
search the car but trust me they wont find you here. My buddy will come get you out
when the coast is clear, just stay quiet and still. I nod.
Alright, good luck! Adios. Gabriel covers us up and hits the truck to go.
I look at Lina, In tres horas we will be in The United States. I say.
I know, Im so happy Diego! Ive waited for three years, I cant wait to see- I just
cant wait to get there. Lina says.
Hey lovebirds, keep it down okay! The driver, Alejandro calls out.
Im finally becoming someone good.

The car comes to a stop after what feels like forever. Alejandro starts to take apart the
metal pieces above us.
Hola lovebirds, welcome to the United States. He smiles.
Looking at Lina, her are eyes closed and head tilted back in the sunlight. Her knees give
and she sinks onto the pavement.
Are you okay? I touch her shoulder.
Im more than okay Diego, Im happy! Ive missed the sun so much. She smiles.
What do you mean missed? I thought-.
Miss, I meant miss the sun. I- uh feel relieved that we are finally here. Its just
how people back home described it as. Lina stutters. Something is off.
Amigos, I have food and water for you. We have to leave soon, it will take two
hours to get to LA. Alejandro says.
Gracias. I take the water and sandwich.

We sit in the front of the truck going over our citizen information. Lina seems distant
but the way she looks out the window tells me she's happy. I grab her hand but she pulls
away fast.

Sorry Diego but please dont hold my hand.

Whats wrong Lina? We have made it all this way, what changed? I ask.
Nothing, I just dont want to hurt you. Before I needed your comfort but now I
dont need it anymore. Its time to be independent, we are in a new land. She tries to
smile.
But what about our promise? We need to stick together remember? My voice is
low.
Yes, yes I remember Diego. We can stick together Her voice trails off.
Silence fills the car and the sun starts to set. I turn away from Lina and rest my head on
the window. I hope later Lina is in a different mood.
We are an hour away, about to pass Laguna Beach. We will rest here for the
night and in the morning continue onto LA. Alejandro says while parking in an
alleyway.
Lina leans up against me, slipping her hand within mine.
Im sorry Diego, I really am. I care about you a lot and thank you for all youve
done. You are a new person. A better person, no longer the enemy but my friend. She
whispers.
I forgive you. This has all been a lot but you made it. We made it. I squeeze her
hand.
Goodnight Diego. Her face is full of sadness.
Goodnight Lina, tomorrow will be better I promise. I close my eyes slowly
falling asleep.
Dont make promises you cant keep. She mutters.

I wake to an empty seat and a message written on the dew covered window.
Live your dream.
Shes gone. Lina is gone. She left me when we promised to stay together. She was the
last piece of my old life and is the first piece to my new one. She knew how much I cared
for her and she still left me. Was I even important to her? Did she plan this? No, she
couldnt have. We both talked about living our dreams in the U.S. so why did she leave?
Hey, Im sorry about your girl but we have to go if you want to make it to LA. I
cant waste anytime, I have other immigrants to help. Alejandro says.
No, we cant leave yet. What if she comes back? My voice cracks.
I cant take that chance. Ill go get something to eat and ask around, if shes not
back we leave or I leave you. He walks off.
I search the truck a hundred times to find any clues but nothing. She didnt take
anything. Where did you go Lina? Why did you leave me?
Alejandro comes back with some fruit. That man said she caught a bus to a city in
Laguna Beach about two hours ago. What do you wanna do?

states.

I want to find her.

Thats a trip you will have to take alone. I go to LA only, no exceptions. He

Thats fine.
Okay amigo. I hope you find her, good luck. Alejandro gets back into his truck
and drives away.
I will find you Lina. You told me to live my dream and I will, but not without you.
The End.