Express iON

www.tcsion.com

January 2015
Article

Message from Tarun Nehra, Head of Operations iON Platforms

Assessment Infrastructure Update

ACTiON October 2014

Zonal Updates

Zero Defect LISP - Top Achievers

Happenings @ iON

Guest Lectures & Industrial Visit

Student Internship Activities
Extra Curricular Activities / Team outing

9
12
13

Customer Testimonial / Guest Column

14

Fun World

15

Techie Jokes

Article

Dear iON Partners,

Greetings!
A hassle-free examination process remains the primary objective of our efforts at the iON division. We have been working towards a
zero defect exam delivery model right from start and have taken several steps in this direction. These include regular LAN audits and
LAN upgrades, power audits, and strengthening of our processes and solutions to enhance candidate experience. We will continue
these efforts and solicit your valuable co-operation in our journey towards a zero defect exam delivery system.
Conducting exams is a serious as well as a sensitive business. Stringent processes need to be adhered to without fail. We must
remain agile and watchful right from the moment candidates enter the exam centre until the time they complete the assessment
and leave the premises. Laser sharp focus is required on thorough document checking and invigilation to enable a fair examination
process. This is an important criterion to be recognized as partners of repute in digital assessment. We at iON are committed to
building a robust solution and processes which will enable you to do so.
We are working towards improving the digital assessment process in the country and have aggressive business plans for the upcoming fiscal year FY16. We value your support and co-operation and we will strive to take the partnership to higher levels in the years
to come.
The market is witnessing a huge surge in the demand for digital assessments and prestigious academic institutions are reaching out
to partner with us for the same. In order to cater to this growing demand, we are now partnering with institutions on an exclusive
basis for a five year duration. This would give TCS iON sole rights to conduct digital evaluations at these nodal centers all year round.
Apart from digital assessments, at TCS iON, we have built several other exciting products targeted at the education sector including
the below:
Digital Evaluation: A solution that enables digital evaluation of answer scripts
Campus Management Solution: One stop solution for all your campus automation needs
Critical Data Management System: Online application management system for easy filtering and management of applications
Smart Degree and Past Data Management: Solution for degree certificates with e-verification capabilities and management of
bulky data in paper/digital mode
Learning Exchange: A platform for creating and maintaining education communities
Our endeavor is to ensure that these products bring significant benefits to your institution. We foresee exciting times for our
partnership as we continue to take large strides in the digital evaluation sphere.
We look forward to many more years of a mutually beneficial association and wish your institution the success that it deserves.
Tarun Kumar Nehra
Head of Operations iON Platforms

Assessment Infrastructure Update

With a strong commitment to providing quality IT infrastructure, TCS iON has invested in establishing Digital Assessment
Process Zones & Centres across cities in the country. Some of the locations where these centres are already operational include:

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Zone, FIT, Purnea, Bihar

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Zone, VVIT, Purvea, Bihar

Vivekanand Global University, Jaipur, Rajasthan

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Zone, RVS College of Engineering and Technology, Jamshedpur, Jharkand

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Zone, RTCIT, Ranchi, Jharkand

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Zone, NSIT, Bihita, Bihar

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Center, Patna, Bihar

TCS iON is further establishing over 1.50 lakh nodes across 150 cities with dedicated assessment infrastructure, in association
with colleges and business partners through the IRM (Infrastructure Rental Model) program.
We welcome our esteemed LISPs to partner with us in this Computer Based Assessment revolution and be part of this
aggressive growth program. The future, after all, belongs to all of us.

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Zone @ FIT , Purnea , Bihar

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Zone @ VVIT, Purnea, Bihar

Assessment Infrastructure Update

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Zone @

Vivekanand Global University, Jaipur

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Zone @ RVS College

of Engineering and Technology, Jamshedpur, Jharkand

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Zone @ RTCIT,

Ranchi, Jharkand

Assessment Infrastructure Update

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Zone @ NSIT,

Bihita , Bihar

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Center @ Patna,

Bihar Dedicated 1900 Nodes infrastructure

TCS iON Digital Assessment Process Center @ Patna,

Bihar Dedicated 1900 Nodes infrastructure

ACTiON October 2014

ACTiON 2014: Marching together towards success

ACTiON 2014 was held on a grand scale on October 22 and 23, 2014 at The Renaissance in Powai, Mumbai. The event proved to be a
valuable knowledge sharing platform that brought together the operations field force. Packed with interesting and thought
provoking sessions, it offered the operations team insights into new trends and concepts, and provided an excellent opportunity to
share their knowledge and experiences.
ACTiON began with a motivational video followed by an informative session on Zero Defects Guaranteed, presented by
Cdr. Sudhir Sharma, Venguswamy Ramaswamy, Anil Pant and Tarun Nehra.
In his felicitation speech, Swamy commended the iON assessment team for their impressive growth in going from 250 to 1000 members,
and for achieving a significant increase in revenues. He also congratulated the team on reaching the milestone of
providing over two crore assessments, making them the largest assessment providers in the world. The additional feathers in their cap
include the successful evaluation of 16 lac answer sheets, and the development of 1,00,000 non-duplicable and tamper proof degree
certificates.
The highlights of the event included talks by key customers, Mr. Rohit Kapur - CAT Convener 2014, and Mr. S K Choudhury - Professor,
Department of Mechanical Engineering GATE. They appreciated the exemplary support they have received from TCS, and shared their
expectations and plans for taking the online Assessment Lifecycle Management engagement forward.
N. Chandra CEO, TCS and Chaitanya Sathye VP, TCS addressed the audience on the significance of employee safety. Chandra also
spoke about his expectations from iON as a company, and how these can be translated into action.
Day two began with a session by Venguswamy Ramaswamy, Anil Pant, Sudhir Sharma, Neeraj Malik, Tarun Nehra.
Swamys presentation on Prep Test emphasized how iON is a pioneer in the market in driving innovations through technology. Speaking
at the event, Mr. Bhattacharya - Director of IBPS, appreciated the contributions of iONians.
The event concluded with an inspiring session by the HR team on the theme The road to success is always under construction.' They
brought the curtains down on ACTiON 2014 on this high note - When you believe all the way that success is your only option, you take
every possible step to ensure that failure is not a possibility. Success is 100 percent your responsibility - yours alone.

ACTiON October 2014

Moments of ACTiON 2014

Mr. N. Chandra
CEO and Managing Director,
TCS
It is not easy to create a
business from scratch and
get it to a stage that it is
slowly becoming world class.

Mr. S. K. Choudhury
Professor, Department
of Mechanical Engineering,
GATE
We are happy with the
accuracy,zero defect and
with the enthusiasm that
TCS has conducted GATE
in last few years.

ACTiON October 2014

Moments of ACTiON 2014

Mr. Venguswamy Ramaswamy
Global Head of iON, TCS
With 2 crore plus
candidates assessed, we are
worlds largest assessment
providers.

Mr. Rohit Kapur

CAT Convener 2014
Only TCS can handle such
big massive examinations.

Mr. Bhattacharya
Director of IBPS
I get comfort interacting
with TCS other than any
of the service providers.

Zonal Updates

Zero Defect LISP - Top Achievers

Zone

North 1

Zero defect LISP

Uttar Pradesh

Delhi NCR - IIMT Group of Institutions, Meerut

Rajasthan

VIT Campus, Jaipur

Punjab

Lyallpur Khalsa College of Enginnering, Jalandhar

Uttar Pradesh

Pranveer Singh Institute of Technology, Kanpur

BBD Nothern India Institute of Technology Lucknow
Integral University Lucknow

Uttrakhand

Amprapali Group of Institutions, Haldwani

Uttranchal Institute of Technology, Dehradun
JB Institute of Technology, Dehradun

Jharkhand

RVS college of Engineering and Technology, Jamshedpur

RTC Institute of Technology, Ranchi
Oxford Public school, Ranchi

Orissa

Regional College of Management

Vignan Institute of Technology & Management
Ripplesoft Pvt Ltd

Bihar

Sashiganga Infotech
Prayas Janshikshan Sansthan
Vivekanand Institute For Computer and Electronics Technology

North 2

East 1

East 2

OmDayal Group of Institutions, Howrah

Karnataka

Dayanand Sagar Institutions,Bengaluru

Vidya Vardhaka College of Engineering,Mysore
Amruta Institute of Engineering and Management Sci,Bengaluru

United Andhra

Aditya engineerng College, Kakinada

CMR Institute Of Technology, Hyderabad
Jagarlamudi Kuppuswamy Choudary College, Guntur

South1

South 2

Aalim Muhammed Salegh College of Engineering, Chennai

KCG College of Technology, Chennai
Dhanalakshmi College Of Engineering, Chennai
Akshaya College of Engineering and Technology, Coimbatore
PSNA Engineering College, Madurai
Mahendra Engineering College, Salem
Manakula Vinayagar Institute and technology, Pondicherry
Arasu Engineering College, Trichy
Loyola Institute of Technology and Science, Tirunelveli
Dr. B.R.Ambedkar Institute of Technology, Port Blair

West 1

Atmiya Institute of Technology and Science, Rajkot

Sri Balaji Society, Pune
Centre Point College, Nagpur

West 2

Corporate group of institutes, Bhopal

Rungta group of institutes, Raipur
NRI institute of technology & management, Gwalior

Happenings @ iON

Guest Lectures & Industrial Visit

Date
:
Name of Speaker :
Topic
:
Venue
:
City/State
:

12th Nov 2014

Mr. Tarun Nehra
Industry Expectations from Students
Shoolini University
Solan, Himachal Pradesh

LISP Name
:
No. of Student Participant:
Scheduled Date
:
Speaker
:
Topic
:
City/State
:

MIT
35
23rd Oct 2014
Mr. Vishal & Mr. Vaibhav
Soft Skills and Overview on TCS iON
Moradabad, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name
:
No. of Student Participant:
Scheduled Date
:
Speaker
:
Topic
:
City/State
:

ANA College
30
22rd Oct 2014
Mr. Vishal Seth & Mr. Abhishek
Soft Skills
Bareilly, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name
:
No. of Student Participant:
Scheduled Date
:
Speaker
:
Topic
:
City/State
:

Gulzar Group of Institutes

25
8th Aug 2014
Mr. Ranjeet (Prof IFTM)
JAVA Tech
Khanna, Punjab

LISP Name
:
No. of Student Participant:
Scheduled Date
:
Speaker
:
Topic
:
City/State
:

Buddha Institute of Technology

100
5th Sep 2014
Mr. Piyush Singh
Emerging Business
Gorakhpur, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name
:
No. of Student Participant:
Scheduled Date
:
Speaker
:
Topic
:
City/State
:

Sityog Institute Of Technology

120
5th Sep 2014
Mr. Piyush Singh
Emerging Business
Aurangabad, Bihar

LISP Name
:
No. of Student Participant:
Scheduled Date
:
Speaker
:
Topic
:
City/State
:

Siwan Engg College

80
4th Sep 2014
Mr. Anand Choudhary
Use Of Internet
Siwan, Bihar

LISP Name
:
No. of Student Participant:
Scheduled Date
:
Speaker
:
Topic
:
City/State
:

Astric Center of Excellence

50
1st Oct 2014
Mr. Arijit Das
IT Industry Demand
Patna, Bihar

Happenings @ iON

LISP Name
: Vidya Vihar Institute of Technology
No. of Student Participant: 110
Scheduled Date
: 11th Oct 2014
Speaker
: Mr. Vishal & Mr. Vaibhav
Topic
: Current Industry Demand
City/State
: Purnea, Bihar

LISP Name

LISP Name

: Swami Vivekananda Institute of

Management & Computer Science
Scheduled Date : 17th July 2014
Speaker
: Mr. Kushal Banerjee & Mr. Biplab Sarkar
Topic
: Grooming for IT industry
City/State
: Kolkata, West Bengal

LISP Name

LISP Name

LISP Name
:
No. of Student Participant:
Scheduled Date
:
Speaker
:
Topic
:

: Vidya Vardhaka College

of Engineering
No. of Student Participant: 35
Scheduled Date
: Sep 2014
Speaker
: Mr. Aravind S & Mr. Narendra
Topic
: Soft Skills and Cloud Computing
City/State
: Mysuru, Karnataka

: Nalla Narsimha Reddy

Engineering College
No. of Student Participant: 15
Scheduled Date
: Nov 2014
Speaker
: Mr. Dinkar Guggilla & HR Team
Topic
: Soft Skills and Overview on
iON Digital Solutions
City/State
: Ghatkesar, Hyderabad

: Calcutta Institute of Engineering

and Management
Scheduled Date : 20th Aug 2014
Speaker
: Mr. Md. Faisal
Topic
: Personal and communication Skill
City/State
: Kolkata, West Bengal

City/State

AMC College
35
Oct 2014
Mr. Ravindra M
Cloud Computing and
DataBase/Storage
: Bangalore, Karnataka

LISP Name
: K. J. Institute of Engineering & Technology
No. of Student Participant: 17
Scheduled Date
: Oct 2014
Speaker
: Technical Session on JAVA - Ms. Khanjan Patel
HR Session - Mr. Nirav Brahmbhatt
iON Session - Mr. Raja Vala
TCS Overview - Mr. Avijeet Banerjee
Topic
: Technical Session on JAVA, HR, Personality Development,
iON, TCS Overview
City/State
: Savli, Gujarat

10

Happenings @ iON
LISP Name
:
No. of Student Participant:
Scheduled Date
:
Speaker
:
Topic
City/State

JVIMS - KBS MCA Jamnagar

16
Sep 2014
Technical Session - Mr. Khanjan Patel, HR Session - Mr. Nirav Brahmbhatt
Personality Development - Mr. Deepak Verma (L&D Dept).
iON Session - Mr. Raja Vala, TCS Overview - Mr. Avijeet Banerjee
: Technical Session on JAVA, HR, Personality Development,
iON, TCS Overview
: Jamnagar, Gujarat

LISP Name
:
No. of Student Participant:
Scheduled Date
:
Speaker
:
Topic
City/State

Sarvajanik College of Engineering

19
Sep 2014
Technical Session on SAP - Mr. Shail Vora
HR Session - Mr. Nirav Brahmbhatt, iON Session - Mr. Raja Vala
TCS Overview - Mr. Avijeet Banerjee
: Technical Session on SAP, HR, iON, TCS Overview,
Video Keepers of Flame
: Surat, Gujarat

LISP Name
:
No. of Student Participant:
Scheduled Date
:
Speaker
:
Topic
:
City/State
:

Rohilkhand University
50
22nd Oct 2014
Mr. Vishal Seth & Mr. Abhishek
Soft Skills
Bareilly, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name
:
No. of Student Participant:
Scheduled Date
:
Speaker
:
Topic
:

LISP Name
:
No. of Student Participant:
Scheduled Date
:
Speaker
:
Topic
:
City/State
:

MIT/IFTM
35/60
5th Aug 2014
Mr. Deepak & Mr. Shailendra
Cloud Computing
Moradabad, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name
:
No. of Student Participant:
Scheduled Date
:
Speaker
:
Topic
:
City/State
:

UIT
60
12 Aug 2014
Mr. Faizan & Mr. Ali
Cloud Computing
Allahabad, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name
:
No. of Student Participant:
Scheduled Date
:
Speaker
:
Topic
:
City/State
:

FIET/FIMT
15/20
18 Aug 2014
Mr Ali
Cloud Computing
Bareilly, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name
:
No. of Student Participant:
Scheduled Date
:
Speaker
:
Topic
City/State

CMC Academy/ Hansraj/ CSAIST

20/50/30
26 Aug 2014
Mr. Vishal, Mr.Vaibhav
& Mr. Sandeep
: IT and Non IT Career Growth
: Jhansi, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name
:
No. of Student Participant:
Scheduled Date
:
Speaker
:
Topic
:
City/State
:

CMC Academy/ Hansraj

15/32
25 Aug 2014
Mr Vishal & Vaibhav & Sandeep
Online Assessment & Interview Tips
Jhansi, Uttar Pradesh

City/State

MIT and IndraPrasth Institute of Tech

20
13th Oct 2014
Mr. Vaibhav, Mr. Hemant & Mr. Rahul
Group Discuusion
(Online and Offline Exam)
: Moradabad, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name
: Krishna College
No. of Student Participant: 60
Scheduled Date
: 16 Aug 2014
Speaker
: ROM/SPOCs
Topic
: TCS and Assessments
City/State
: Kanpur, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name
: PSIT
No. of Student Participant: 60
Scheduled Date
: 12 Jul 2014
Speaker
: ROM/SPOCs
Topic
: TCS and Assessments
City/State
: Kanpur, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name
:
No. of Student Participant:
Scheduled Date
:
Speaker
:
Topic
:
City/State
:

CMC Academy/ Hansraj

30/50
11 Jul 2014
Mr. Khatri & Jhansi Team
J2EE
Jhansi, Uttar Pradesh

LISP Name

LISP Name
Scheduled Date
Speaker
City/State

Kongunadu Engineering College

1st Aug 2014
Ms. Cynthia Nimija
Tiruchirappalli, Tamil Nadu

Speaker
Topic
City/State

: Aarupadai Veedu Institute

of Technology
: Mr. Diwakar Pathri
: Architecture, Software Systems
and Green Computing
: Chennai, Tamil Nadu

:
:
:
:

11

Happenings @ iON

Student Internship Activities

Award Ceremony Program Sep 2014, iON Interns, Gurgaon Region

Award Ceremony Program Oct 2014, iON Interns, NJR Institute, Udaipur, iON Interns
Khalsa College lyallpur Institute of Management and Technology, Punjab

LISP

City

Radharaman Group of Institution

Corporate Group of Institutes
Sanghavi Institute of Managment and Science
Malwa Institute of Science & Technology
Global Group of Institutions
Vikrant Group of Institution
NRI College of Engineering and Management
Alpine Institute of Technology
Raipur Institute of Technology Raipur
Chouksey Engineering College Bilaspur
Chhatrapati Shivaji Institute of Technology Durg
Takshshila Institute of Engineering and Technology
Sri Aurbindo Institute of TechnologyIndore

Bhopal
Bhopal
Indore
Indore
Jabalpur
Gwalior
Gwalior
Ujjain
Raipur
Bilaspur
Bhilai/Durg
Jabalpur
Indore

12

Happenings @ iON

Extra Curricular Activities / Team outing

A Day Filled with Fun: iON Platforms Team, Tamil Nadu and Pondicherry Go On a Memorable Outing
The iON Platforms team had a successful outing the last time, but this long-awaited outing was more special. The outing with the team
on 12th December signified the end of 2014 and the beginning of the New Year with a fresh start!
I had just returned early that morning from Madurai and was on my way home, eager to get to the party,
albeit in a wet yet pleasant weather. I received a call from a member of the senior leadership team, Diwakar, aah, Good Morning.
I just wanted to confirm if the outing is on since it is raining? It is on for sure maam, hope to see you for lunch, I replied. A moment
later, I messaged the entire team. Great weather team, lets head to the beach, time to have a fun filled day. Lets be there on time!
120 of us from the iON Platforms team left from ILP by two buses to Jade Beach resort. Karthick had the foresight to arrange for the
safe arrival of the rest of the TN and Pondicherry teams. The teams made it to the destination despite the fact that the government run
intra- state buses were on strike that day. We reached the resort in time for an hour long address by Wilson and me. We discussed the
need to focus and work together as one team and exchanged thoughts for positive action. Topics ranging from process, projects, IRM,
zero defect guaranteed, peace of mind not guaranteed and fresh hope for our personal selves in 2015 were discussed. This was
followed by a session filled with a whole lot of team games and activities.
After relishing a delightful spread for lunch, we moved on to have real fun at the auditorium in the resort with competitive games!
Four teams were formed ensuring a harmonious mix of divisions. The repertoire of activities included antakshari, skits, singing,
dancing, and an unforgettable, high decibel whistling competition that left me suffering from an ear disorder for the rest of the day.
All the activities were conducted with pomp amidst shrills of laughter! Wilson, I and a member from the senior leadership team
(a judge with veto powers!) judged the performances. Team members were awarded points based on various parameters with the aim
to promote participation. The teams, at times, were also asked to judge each other. The performances were outstanding and
showcased the prolific talents of the team members. Everybody was a winner in his own right and therefore, no winners were
announced. Finally, it was time to draw curtains on the event as the day was coming to a close. We distributed laddoos before
breaking for the grand group photograph. Sweet memories for everyone to cherish! We headed back to ILP and from there proceeded
to our respective homes, braving the abusive city traffic with the torrential rain adding to the adventure.
The outing was a rejuvenating experience. We look forward to more such events to understand our teams better and gain the energy
and motivation for greater accomplishments!

13

Guest Column

Industry - Academia partnership

to craft Digital India

The Government of India in recent years has laid down an extensive roadmap to digitize every business process in the
country, right from passport issuance and income tax filing to digitization of high stake assessments. To accomplish this lofty
goal, the Government has chosen to partner with the worlds leading IT giant, Tata Consultancy Services (TCS). Sinhgad
Institute of Business Administration and Research, Pune also has a role to play in this mammoth venture. The institutes team
is thrilled about helping the Government as well as TCS promote digitization in a major way. Sinhgad Institute of Business
Administration and Researchs liaison with TCS iON completed two years as of January 2015. Based on this robust relationship, senior management at the institute have identified a few strategic benefits derived from partnering with the business
giant. They have also put together some observations about TCS to help guide stakeholder learning and decision making in
the future.
The first observation is that customer satisfaction has always been TCS main priority. To achieve a high level of customer
satisfaction, the TCS team works with utmost dedication, sincerity and accuracy, irrespective of the size and scale of the
examination. Such dedicated care and attention provided by the sixth largest global IT firm by revenue to even the smallest
of the customers is really something worth applauding. Yet another observation is the flawless and totally transparent
assessment process executed by the iON unit every single time. The last but not the least observation has to do with their
digital assessment mechanisms that have never failed - either in performance or load - over the two years of our association.
These observations have come as a learning to the team from the institute, and helped them to initiate process refinements
and improve execution efficiency across various academic processes. The other tangible benefits received by the fraternity of
the institution, some being mutually beneficial, include:

Industry visit (Mumbai location) for staff and students

Value added programs for staff and student
Students exposure to industry best practices, business processes and implementation
Enriching the infrastructure and also personnel by conducting these high stake national level examinations
Financial support in the form of sponsorship for conduction of national level programs and events
Brand building of the Institute by showcasing the potential infrastructure to aspiring candidates and many more

Dr. Chandrani Singh,

Jt. Director, MCA and Placement Head (MCA)
Sinhgad Institute of Business Administration and Research

14

Fun World

Techie Jokes
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts
Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a
year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks
vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car
leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies,
"Yeah, but you started it."
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes hes lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the
balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "Yes. You're in a
hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field." "You must work in
Information Technology," says the balloonist. "I do" replies the man. "How did you know?" "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone." The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?" "Well", says the man, "you dont know where you are or where youre going, but
you expect me to be able to help. Youre in the same position you were before we met, but now its my fault." back in again
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car
was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier
saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they
spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt. The physicist said "We need to model the
friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed". The engineer said "I think I've
got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong". The programmer said "Why don't we get
going again and see if it's reproducible?"
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great"
he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff
that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors. "If automotive technology had kept pace with computer
technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have
a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles
to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50." "Sure," says the GM chairman. "But
would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"
Murphy's Laws of Computing
a. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
b. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.
c. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.
d. When the going gets tough, upgrade.
e. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
f. To err is human.. to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural.
g. He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
h. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer.
i. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler
system that worked just fine.
j. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
k. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want
to do.

Editorial Board: Fawzan Azami, Akshat Sharma, Ayush Rungta, Neelesh Ruia & Vijoy,
Feedback: Akshat.sharma1@tcs.com

15