FRM: Wyre Diu He bes: Y WMASE badpeRs Introduction T was 4 Goony Two-Suozs all through school. 1 ‘wanted my teachers to like me, I learned commas, colons, emicolons. I wrote compositions with clear sentences that ‘were dull and boring, Nowhere was there an orginal thought fF genuine feeling. Iwas cager to give the teachers what I thought they wanted. Tn college I was in love with literature, mean wild about it.I typed poems by Gerard Manley Hopkins over and over fagain so I could memorize them. tread John Milton, Shelley, ‘Keats aloud and then swooned on my narrow bed inthe dor mitory. In college inthe late sixties, read almost exclusively male writers, usually dead, from England and the rest of Eu- tope. They were very far removed from my daly Tile, and ‘though loved them, none of them reflected my experience. I must have subconsciously surmised that writing, was not ‘within my ken Ienever occurred to me co write, though Tse cxetly wanted to matry a poet. ‘After I graduated college and discovered that no one was going to hire me to read novels and swoon over poetry, three fiends and I statted a co-op restaurant and cooked and served natural food lunches in the hasement of the Newman Center in Ann Arbor, Michigaa, This was the early seventies, and one year before the opening of the restaurant I had tasted my first avocado. The restaurant was called Naked Lunch, ater the‘novel by William Burroughs" frozen moment when every fone sees what is on the end of every fork.” In the morning I baked muffins with raisins and muffins with blueberries or even with peannt butter if wanted. Natually, Lhoped the cus fomers would like them, but T knew if I cared about the ‘uin, they usually were good. We had ereated the restau- ang, There was no great answer outside ourselves that would get us an A in school anymore. It was the very beginning of leaming co crust my awa mind. One Tuesday I was making ratatouille for lunch, When you ‘make it fora restaurant, you don't cut up one onion and one cegplant. The counter was filled with onions, eggplants, zu chinis, tomatoes, and garlic, spent several hours chopping and slicing. Walking home from work that night, I stopped in the Centicore Bookstore on State Steet and wandered up and down the aisles. I saw a thin volume of poctry entitled Fruits ‘and Vegetables by Erica Jong. jong had not come out with her novel Fear of Flying yet and was stil unknown.) The Sst poem I opened to in the book was about cooking an eggplant ‘was amazed: "You mean you can write about something like that?" Something as ordinary a6 that? Something that [did in ry life A synapse connected in my brain. I went home with the resolve co write what [knew and to trust my own thoughts snd feelings and to not look outside myself. was notin schoo] anymore: I could say what I wanted. I begun to write about my family beeause nobody could say { was wrong. I knevr them Detter than anyone els, ‘This all happened fifteen years ago. A friend once told me: ‘Trust in love and it will eake you where you need to go." I want toad, "Trust in what you Tove, continue to dai, and it will tke you where you need to go.” And don't worry too much about security. You wil eventually havea deep security ‘when you begin to do what you want. How many of us with ‘our big salaries are actualy secure anyway! ‘have taught writing workshops forthe last eleven years at the University of New Mexico, tthe Lama Foundation; othe hippies in Taos, New Mexico; for uns in Albuquerque; to ju venile delinquents in Boulder atthe University of Minnesota; at Northeast College technical school in Noxfolk, Nebraska ‘a8 Minnesota Poet-in-heSchools, at Sunday-night wating ‘groups in my home, to gay men's groups. I teach the same ‘methods over and over again It is such basic information bout erusting your own mind and creating a confidence in ‘your experience that [have never grown tired of teaching it In stead my understanding continues to deepen. 1974 began to do sitting meditation. From 1978 to 1984 I studied Zen formally with Dainin Katagsi Roshi (Roshi isa tle for Zen master) at the Minnesota Zen Center in Min: neapolis. Whenever I went to see him and asked him a ques tion about Buddhism, { had trouble understanding the answer until he sad, "You know, lke in writing when you..." When be referred to writing, understood. About three yeas ago he said to me, “Why do you come to sit meditation? Why don't ‘you make writing your practice? Ifyou go deep enough in weit- ing, it will take you everyplace.” ‘This book is about writing Ics also about using writing as ‘your practice, as 2 way to help you penetrate your life and be ‘come sane. What is said here about writing can be applied to running painting, anything you love and have chosen to work with in your Ife, When I read several chapters to my friend John Rollwagen, president of Cray Research, he said, "Why, Natalie, you're talking about busines. That's the way itis in business. There sno difference." ‘Learning to write fs nota linear process, There ino logical ‘AstorB-toC way to become a good writer. One neat truth about ‘writing cannot answer it all, There are many truths. To do ‘writing practice means to deal ultimately with your whole lif. you receive instructions an how to seta broken bone in Yourankle, you cant use those same instructions to fla cavity in your teeth, You might read 2 section in tis book that says to be very specific and precise. Thats to help the ailment of ab. stract, general meandering in your writing But then you read another chapter chat says lose contol, write on waves of emo- tion, That's to encourage you ta really say deep down what you ‘eed to say. Orinone chapter says to fix up studio, that you needa private place to write; the next chapter says, "Get out of the house, away from the diny dishes. Go write in a cafe” Some techniques are appropriate at some times and some for ‘other times, Every moment is diferent, Different things work, (One isn’ wrong and the other right. When i teach a class, I want the students to he “writing down the bones,” the essential, awake speech oftheir minds But {also know T can't just say, “Okay, write elealy and with ‘teat honesty.” In class we try diferent techniques or meth ‘ods, Eventually, the students hit the matk, come home to what ‘hey need to say and how they need to sy i. But iti rarely, “Okay, in the third class ater we have covered this and this, ‘you will write well” Te is the same for reading this book. The book can be read consecutively and that may be good the fist time through. You ‘may also open to any chapter and reed it. Each chapter is de signed to be its own whole. Relax as you read and absorb i a8 by osmosis, with your whole body and mind. And don't just ead it, Write. Tust yourself. Learn your own needs. Use this book, Beginner's Mind, Pen and Paper Wane anc being ss oo hae co come back obepane’s min the nt nay though aod el ‘Sout ng. nary, that Beginner mind what we Imus come beck wevey time wea avn an woe, There to sect, no sournce da bcate we wrote oethng food ewomtoths apy we wildo api Actual very une ‘tein, we onacrhow we oer dit ere ache oe tor fourey wie mee, So when each wing gop, Ehave el the sry over anand remember ht he tenes te ering for the ati Tmt ein athe vr being ir consider he pen you wie with should Ba fast wring pen betas Jour though ee always much let than your had. ou dont want slow up You anderen more witha slow en. Abalpsay, pencil i for sue te slow: Go toe atone oes ce whet el good You out litret Kinds De get olancy and expensive, Tron eo cheap Shear funn pen sear 9 has reploeble cand ve bought hun nr the Ya Tea every colt ten eh bt hey sets The tlle ena areout nowt fat io bt eres siphon Of conta You want obese ofa the eomeeton andes ture the pe on raptThink, too, about your notebook. tt is important, This is your equipment, like hammer and nails to a caspenter, (eel fortunate—for very litte money you are in business] Some- times people buy expensive hardcover journals, They are bulky and heavy, and because they are fancy, you are compelled to write something good. Instead you should feel that you have permission to write the worst unk in the world and it would bbe okay. Give yourself lor of space in which o explore writ ing. A cheap spiral notebook lets you feel that you ean fil it ‘quickly and afford another. Also, its easy to cary. often buy sotebook:size purses.) Garfleld, the Muppets, Mickey Mouse, Star Wars. I use notebooks with funny covers. They come out fresh in Septem- ‘ber when school starts. They area quarter more than the plain spirals, but Tike them. lean‘ take myself too seriously when ‘open up a Peanuts notebook. Ie also helps me locate them ‘mote easily—"Ob, yes, that summer I wrote in the rodeo series notebooks.” Try out different kinds—blank, lined, or taped pages, hard or soe-covered. Inthe end, it rust work foryou. ‘The sizeof your notebook matters to9, A stall notebook ‘canbe kept in your pocket, bu then you have sna thoughts, ‘That’ okay. William Carlos Williams, the famous American poet who was also children’s doctor, wrote many of his poems ‘on preseription pads in between office visits by his patients Detail Dec, 1 bin lookin’ for you owe you two bucks, How you doin’? Fine. When I get it Tt bring it up to you! ‘You can find many presciption-pad-size poems in hs collected works, Sometimes, instead of writing in notebook, you might want to dieetly type out your choughts. Writing is physical and isa fected by the equipment you use. In typing, your fingers hit keys and the result is Block, Back letters 2 different aspect of yoursel ‘may come out. Ihave found that when 1 am weting something fetotonal, I must write ithe frst time directly with hand on sper. Handwriting is more connetted to the movement ofthe ‘here. Yet, when Itell stories, go straight to the typewriter, ‘Another thing you can ty st speaking ito a eape recorder and feeling how itis t9 diveedy record your voice speaking yout thoughts, Ox you might uri fr convenience’ sake: yousmight be ‘working on the hem of adress and you begin to think how i was ‘with your ex-husband and you want to write about it Your hands ate busy sewing you can talk about it into a record. ‘have not worked very much with «computer, but I ean imag. ine using » Macintosh, where the keyboard can be put on my lp, closing my eyes and just typing away. The computer automat tally tums the carriage. The device i caled "wraparound." You fan rap nonstop. You dont have to wory about the typewriter ringing little bell at the end ofa line Expetiment, Even try writing in s big dawing pad. It is true thatthe inside world erates the outside world, bur the outside worl and our tons also fect the way we form our thoughts. Ty skywriting ‘Choose your tols carefully, but not so carefully thet you get ‘uptight or spend move tne atthe stationery store than 2 your writing tableFirst Thoughts ‘Tue sasic um of writing practice isthe timed exer. cise. You may time yourself for ten minutes, twenty minutes, ‘or an hour. Ie up to you. At the beginning you may want to start small and after a week increase your time, or you may ‘want to dive in for an hour the fst time Tt doesn't matter ‘What does matters that whatever amount of time you choose for that session, you must commit yourself to it and for that {ull period 1. Keep your hand moving. (Don't pause to reread the line you have just writeen. That's stalling and trying to get ‘contol of what you're saying | 3. Dou’ cross out. [That is editing as you writ, Even if you ‘write something you didn’t mean to wait, leave it 3: Don't worry about spelling, punctuation, grammar, (Don't even care about saying within the margins and Tunes on the page) Lose conto. 5. Don't think. Don’t get logical Go forthe jugular. (if something comes up in your writing ‘that is seary or naked, dive eight int i.e probably has lots of energy ‘These are the rules. [cis important to adhere to them be {cause the aim isto burn through to frst thoughts, to the place where energy is unobstructed by socal politeness or the intr nal censor, tothe place where you are writing what your mind actualy ses and fels, not whae i chinks it should see or fel Ws a grete opportunity to capeure the oddities of your mind Explore the rugged edge of thought. Like grating a earot, give ‘the poper the colosul coleslaw of your consciousness. First thoughts have tremendous energy. Ics the way the sind firet ashes on something. The internal censor usually squelches them, s0 we live in the realm of second and third thoughts, thoughts on thought, twice and three times removed {om the direct connection of the frst fresh flash, For instance, the phate “T cut the daisy fom my throat shot through my ‘mind, Now my second thought, carefully cuted in t+ r= 2 logic, in politeness, feat, and embarrassment at the natural, ‘would say, "That's sdiculous. You sound suicidal. Don't show yourself cutting your throet, Someone will think you are crazy." And instead, if we give the censor its way, we write, "My throat was a little sore so I did't say anything.” Proper ans boring First thoughts are also unencumbered by eg, by that mech- nism in us that tries tobe in contol, ties t prove the world {is permanent and solid, endusing and logical. The world is not permanent, is ever-changing and fll of human suffering. Sof ‘you express something egoless, i is als full of energy because itis expressing the ruth ofthe way things are. You are not car- ying the burden of eg0 in your expression, but are riding for moments the waves of human consciousness and using your personal details to express the ride In Zen meditation you sit on a cushion called a zafu with your lgscrostd, hack straight, hands at your knees or in fromt Of you in s gesture called a muds, You face a white wall and ‘watch your breath, No matter what you feel—great tornadoes. of anger and resistance, thunderstorms of joy and grief—youcominvetoa, ck ght pce aig the wl You Isa to note on sy ao mater ea he gor “he sae sn tig, You me sat wa when you contact ngs and te om tt Suit the begining you may ela emotions an ebay ‘hall weep ovat bt youn op wing Hossa nuevo se yor gon and er te Se yo ed Pence inthe bea them, Oo im ening cl ‘edent ek doo cig whe thy ed eee ne seen That ay On hey me hy et, How throne the er thynaycome othe era be own af y the een, De ap te coo ‘hough oath Tiss dine Wy cle ae nth so ering Bue ehey have odo wih ean npton opto need “Scan in” rng in Gal Yu scaly omnes than youself thu ae poe, They ae nt steel wha sly hp The cots imbued wih tmends ney sway tren wo sft ence ser comig rae ward” Her medion cher "When you pet Seon ly aie LS Writing as a Practice ‘Tus 1s ra practice schoo! of writing. Like running, the sore You do it, the better you get at it. Some days you don’t ‘want to nun and you resist every step of the three mils, bt ‘you do it anyway, You practice whether you want to or not You don't wat around for inspiration and a deep desire to run, Tell never happen, especially if you ste out of shape and have been avoiding it, But you run regulaely, you tan your mind tocut through or ignore your resistance. You just doit. And in the middle of then, you love it. When you come tothe end, ‘you never want to stop. And you stop, hungry forthe next ‘That's how seriting is, 00. Once you're deep into it, you wonder what took you so long to finally settle down atthe desk. Through practice you actually do get beter, You leszn co ‘rust your deep self more and not give in to your voice that ‘wants to avoid writing, Is odd that we never question the es sibility ofa football team practicing long hous for one ame; yet in writing we rarely give ourselves the space for practice ‘When you waite, don't say, “Ym going to write a poem.” “That attitude will freeze you right away. Sit down with the least expectation of yourself, say "Lam fee to write the worst junk in the world” You have to give yourself the space to write ‘ot without a destination 'vehad students who said they de- cided they were ging to write the great American novel andhaven't written a line since, If every time you sat down, you ‘expected something great, writing would always bea great dis appointment. Plus that expectation would also keep you from ‘wating ‘My ruleis to finish a notebook s month I'm always making lp writing guidelines for myself) Simply to lt, That is the practice, My ideal ito write everyday. say itis my ideal. Lam areful not to pass judgment a eeate anxiety i don’ do that Noone lives up to is ide In my notebooks I don't bother with the side margin or the ‘one atthe top: 1 ll dhe whole page. Lam not writing anymore fora teacher or for school 1am writing fr myself fist and 1 don't have co stay within my limits, not even mains, This ives me a psyehological freedom and permission, And when ‘my writing is on and 'm really cooking, {usually forget about punctuation, spelling, etc. also notice that my handwriting ‘changes becomes large and loose ‘Often I can Took around the room at my students as they te and ean tell which ones ae rally on and present at a ven time in their writing. They are more intensely involved and their bodies are hanging loose. Again, itis ike running. ‘Ther’ lee resistance when the run is good. All of you is ‘moving; there no you sepatae fom the runner, In veiting, ‘when you are truly on, there's no writer, no paper, no pen, no thoughts. Only writing does writing everything else is gone (One ofthe main eims in weting practice i to leas to ust your own mind and body; to gow patient and nonagaressive. ‘At lives in the Big World. One poem or story doesn’t matter ‘one way or the other, Is the process of writing and life that ‘matters. Too many writers have written great books and gone insane or alcoholic or killed themselves. This process teaches lout sanity. We are trying eo become sane along with our poems and stories. ‘Chogyam Trungpa, Rinpoche, + Tibetan Buddhist master, said, “We must continue to open in the face of tremendous op position, No one is encouraging us to open and sill we must peel sway the layers ofthe heat.” It is the same with this way of practice writing: We must continue to open and trust in our ‘wn vice end process. Ueimately ifthe process is good, the tend willbe good, You will get good waiting ‘A friend once said that when she had a good black-and- ‘white drawing that she was going to add color to, she always practiced first on a few drawings she didn't eare about inorder to wart up, This writing practice is also 2 warm-up for any’ thing else you might want to write It is the bottom Line, the ‘most primitive, essential beginning of writing. The trust you Tear in your own voice can be directed then into a business letter, a novel, a PAD. dissertation play, a memoir. But ies something you must come back to again and again. Don’t think," go it I know how to write. Trust my voice. 'm off tonite the great American novel" I's good to go off and write ‘novel, but don’ stop doing writing practice Ie is what keeps you in tun, ike a dancer who does warm-ups before dancing fra runner who does stretches before running. Runners don't say, "Oh, [ean yesterday. I'm limber.” Each day they warm up and stctch. ‘Wiriting practice embraces your whole life and doesn't de mand any logical form: no chapter 19 following the action in chapter 28, I's a place that you can come to wild and un- bridled, mixing the dream of your grandzothers soup with the astounding clouds outside your window. It is undiected and has to do with all of you right in your present moment. Think of writing practice as loving arms you come to logically and ‘incoherently. Is our wild forest where we gather energy before ‘g0ing to prune our garden, write our fine books and novels. i's ‘contin practiceSit down right now. Give me this moment, Write whatever's ‘unming through you. You might star with “this moment” and end up writing about the gardenia you wore st your wedding seven years ago. That's fine, Dont try to contro it. Stay pres ‘ent with whatever comes up, and keep your hand moving. Composting Tr raxas 4 wuts for our experience to sift through our ‘consciousness. For instance, it is hard ro write about being in love in the midst of « mad love affair. We have no perspective {All we can say is, “Tm madly in love,” over and over again. It is also hard to wite about a ety we just moved to's not yet im our body, We don't know ournew home, even if wecan drive to the drogstore without getting lost. We have not lived through three winters there or seen the ducks leave in fll and return tothe lakes in spring. Hemingway wrote about Michi ‘gan while siting ina cafe in Pais. “Maybe away from Pars 1 ‘could write about Pats as in Pars ould write about Michi> ‘gan [ didnot know it was too earl for dat because Idd not know Paris well enough.’ ‘Our senses by themselves ate dumb. They take in experi lence, but they need the richness of sifting fr a while through ‘our consciousness and through our whole bodies, I call this “composting.” Our bodies are gatbage heaps: we collec experi- ‘ence and from the decomposition ofthe thrown-out eggshell, spinach lesves, cate grinds, and old steak bones of our minds come nitrogen, het, and very fertile soil Out ofthis fertile soil bloom our poems snd stories. Bur this does not come all at ‘once. Ie takes time, Continue to turn over and over the organic details of your lie until some of them fll heough the garbage of discursive thoughts tothe solid ground of black soil. WyWhen 1 have students who have written many pages and read them in class, and the wating isnot all necessarily good Dut see that chey ae exploring their minds for material, [am Bad. 1 know those people will continue and are not just ob- sessed with “hot” writing, but are in the process of practice They ace raking theit minds and taking ther shallow thinking and turning i over. IE we continue to work wih this aw mat- ter ie wil draw us deeper and deeper into ourselves, but notin neurotic way. We will begin to see the rich garden we have in: side us and use that for writing ‘Often Iwill stab many times at something ] want to sy. For instance, you can look in my notebooks from August through December 1983 and see chat attempted several times month to write about my father dying | was exploring and compost ing the material. Then suddenly, and I can't sey how, in De- ‘ember sat transfixed atthe Croissant Express in Minneapolis and a long poem about that subject poured out of me. All the disparate things I had to say were suddenly fused with energy sand unity—a bright re tulip shot out of the compost. Katagiri Roshi said: "Yous litle will can’t do anything It takes Great Determination. Great Determination doesn’t mean just you making an effort. It means the whole universe is behind you and with you—the birds, wees, sky, moon, and ten directions.” Suddenly, after much composting, you are in alignment with the stars or the moment or the dining-room chandelier above your head, and your body opens and speaks. Understanding this process cultivates patience and pro duces less anxiety, We arent running everything, not even the ‘writing wedo, At che same time, we must keep practicing, Ieis not an excuse to not write and ston the couch eating boabons, ‘We must continue 1o work the compost ple, ensiching it and ‘making it fertile o that something beautiful may bloom and so that our writing muscles are in good shape to ride the uni verse when it moves through us, "5 ‘This understanding als helps us to accept someone else's suceess and not to be too greedy. Iti simply that person's time, Ours will come inthis lifetime or the next, No matter (Continue to practice ‘syou are doing your art. But I guess doing artis beter than ‘inking lot or filling up with chocolat. Ioften wonder if all the writers who are alcoholics drink a lot beeause they aren't waiting or are having trouble writing I is not heeause they are ‘writers that they are drinking, but because they are writers who are not writing, ‘There is freedom in beinga writer and waiting, Is fulfilling your function. I used to think freedom meant doing whatever you want. It means knowing who you are, what you are sup posed tobe doing on ehis earth, and then simply doing it It is not getting sidetracked, thinking you shouldn't write any more about your Jewish family when that's your role in life: to record their history, who they were in Brooklyn, on Lang Is land, at Miami Beach—the first generation of American Gold bergs—before it all passes and is gone, Katagiri Roshi says: "Poor artists. They sulfer very much, ‘They finish a masterpiece and they are not satisfied. They want to goon and do another.” Yes, but i's better to goon and do another i you have the urge than to start drinking and be ‘come an aleoholic or eata pound of good fudge and get ft, So pethaps nota obsession are bad, An obsession for peace 1s good. But then be peaceful. Don't ust think about it. An ob- session for writing is good. But then write, Don't let it get twisted into drinking. An obsession or chocolate isnot ged. ‘knows. I's unhealthy and doesn’ help the word the way peace and writing do. Carolyn Forché, a poet who won the Lamont Poetry Award forher book The Country Between Us. about El Salvador, said, “Change your innermost obsessions to become a politcal writer.” That males sense, You don't write about polities by thinking you should. That will come doggerel. Stat caring about politics, reading about i, talking about it, and don't worty about what it wil do to your writing. When it Becomes an obsession, you wall naturally write about it 40 Original Detail Troven ris 1s a short chapter, it san important one: use original detail tx your writing. Life isso sich, if you can ‘write down the real details ofthe way things were and are, you hardly need anyehing else. Even if you transplant the beveled ‘windows, slow-rtating Rheingold sign, Wise potato chip rack, tnd tll ted stools from the Aero Tavera that you drank in in ‘New York into a bat in a story in another state and time, the story will have authenticity and groundedness, "Ob, no, that ‘her was on Long Island, can't put itin New fersey’—yes, You tan, You don't have tobe rigid about orignal detail. The imag: nation is capable of detail tansplants, but using the details ‘you atuelly know and have seen will give your writing belie ‘bility and trucfalness. It creates a good solid foundation from which you ean build ‘Naturally, f you have just been so New Orleans inthe drip ping August heat and have sucked the ft out of the heads of crayfish a the Magnolia Bar on St Charles Avenue, you can’ hhave the thick-wristed character in you story in Cleveland on 4 Januaty night ding the same thing a his lea bar. Te won't ‘work unless of course, you are moving into surtealism, where all boundaries begin to melt. Be awake to the details around you, but don't be seltcon- scious. "Okay Ym at a wedding. The brde has on blue. The roam is wearing @ red carnation, They are serving choppedan liveron dies." Rela, enjoy the wedding, be present with an ‘open heart. You will naturally take im your environment, and Inter, sitting at your desk, you will beable to recall ose how i vas dancing with the bride's edeaded mother, seeing the bit of zed ipsticksmeuredon her front toth when se smiled, and ‘smelling her perfume mixed with perspiration. " ‘The Power of Detail Tast 1 Costa's Chocolate Shop in Owstonna, Minne ots, My fend is opposite me, We've jst finished Greek sa fis and are writing in our notebooks fora half hour among, lascs of water, a hlfsipped Coke, anda cup of eofee with mill, The booths are orange, and near the front counter are tines of cream candies dipped in chocolate, Across the stest is the Owatonna Bank, designed by Louis Sullivan, Frank Lloyd ‘Wright's teacher. Inside the bank is large cow mural and beautifl stained glss windows. ‘Our lives are a once ordinary end mythical Weliveand de, ge beautifully or full of wrinkles. We wake in the morning, pay yellow eheese, and hope we have enough money o pay fot te Ar the same instant we have these magnificent hearts that ‘pump ehrough all sorte and all winters we are ative on the arth, We are Smportant and our lives are important, magnif- ent realy, and their details are worthy to be recorded. This is thow writers must think, this is how we must sit down with pen in hand. We were here; we ae human beings this is how tre lived. Let it be known, the earth passed before us. Ou de- thils are important, Otherwise, if ehey are not, we can drop 4 hom and it doesnt mater. ‘Yad Vashem, a memorial forthe Holocaust, sn Jerusalem rehaca whole libeary that catalog the names of the six milion snartyre, Not ony did the library have their names, i also bad ma———_—_— ‘where they lived, were born, anything that could be found out bout them, These people existed and they mattered. Yad Vashem, asa matter of fac, actully means “memorial to the name.” It was not nameless masses chat wore slaughtered, ‘hey were human beings Likewise, in Washington, D(C, there isthe Vietnam Memo- rial. There ate flty thousand names listed—middle names, to0—of American soldiers killed in Vietnam. Real human bes ings with names were killed and their breaths moved out of ‘this world. There was the name of Donald Miller, my second: rade friend who drew tanks, solders, and ships in the margins ‘ofall his math papers. Seeing names makes us remember. A name is what we erty all our life, and we respond to its callin 8 classroom, to its pronunciation at graduation, oF £0 our ‘name whispered in the night. Ieis important to sey the names of who weare, the names of the places we have live, and to write ehe details of our lives, ‘lived on Coal Street in Albuquerque next toa garage and ear ried paper bags of groceries down Lead Avenue. One person had planted beets carly that pring, and I watched their red/reen. leaves grow.” We have lived, our moments are important, This is what it is to be a writer to be the carier of details dhat make up history, to eare about the orange booths inthe coffe shop in ‘Ovwatonns, Recording the details of ou ive is a stance against bombs with their mass ability to Kil, against too much speed and ef ficiency. A writer must say yes to lif, to all of fe: the water lasses, che Kemp's half-and-half, the ketchup on the counter Tt is nota writers task to say, "tis dumb to live in 2 small town or to eat in a café when you can eat macrobiotic at home.” Our task i to say a holy yes to the real things of our life as they exist—the ral euth of who we are: several pounds werweight, che gray, cold street outside, the Christmas tinsel wel in the showeas, the Jewish writer in the orange booth across from her blond friend who has black children. We must be come writers who accept things as they are, come to love the etils, and step forward with ayes on our lips so there can be ‘no more noes in the world, noes that invalidate life and stop ‘these details from continuing. a