The Mayberry Gazette

NEWS
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A Cry for HELP!!! By Melissa Gresko

The scream for help came from up the street
Aunt Bee was frantically telling Deputy Barney
Fife as he answered the phone at the police
station.
Barney
grabbed his
jacket
as he ran
out
the door it
was
around
th
7:30pm September 15 . As he passed Aunt
Bees house he heard the cry as well. He ran as
quickly as he could to get to the person in need,
when he reached the house he saw a little old
lady on her porch rocking in her rocker crying
out HELP come here. As he got closer he
noticed it was Jud Fletcher. Jud jumped off her
rocker so quickly because she saw someone
running toward her. Broom in hand she was
ready to take out whomever was approaching.
Barney saw the broom and immediately
stopped in his tracks and ask Jud if she was the
one screaming for Help. Jud after catching her
breath and sat back down on her rocker told
Deputy Barney that she was calling her cat
named Help to come home because it was
supper time.

Is Mayberry Breaking Bad? Written by

Amber Hao-kaawaloa
Deputy Barnie Fife is enjoying his hot pastrami
sandwich at the local diner and all of a sudden he
sees Goober and Gomer from the fillin station in the
alley just standing there all suspicious like...it is
about 10:00 pm and the fillin station has long
closed. "Why would they be in the alley way this
late at night?" Fife thought. He gobbled up his
sandwich and went to go sit in his car to see what

September 19th, 1979

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theyre were up to and all of a sudden Thelma Lou

owner of Happy Cakes bakery comes lurking out of
the darkness, Gomer and Goober cringe appearing
to be scared of Thelma Lou. Thelma Lou is one is
one the sweetest ladies in town so it was more than
strange that these two toughies were scared of little
Miss Thelma Lou. EEEEEEKKKKK!!! Thelma Lou just
smacked Goober right across the face!!!! "What is
happening? I need to get a closer look and hear
what they are saying!" Fife said to himself. Fife hid
behind the bush and heard Thelma Lou say "What
happened to the
shipment? Where did my goods
go to? I swear if you bozos
messed this up for
me.....ahhhhhhh!" Fife couldn't
believe what he was hearing so
he jumped out of the bush and
told everyone to put their hands up! Thelma Lou
screamed in shock dropped a pill bottle that was in
her hand and froze, Gomer and Goober put their
hands up and out popped a pouch from Goobers
pocket. Fife quickly snatched it, opened it up and it
was something weird that looked like rock candy but
grainier. WAS THERE DRUGS IN THE TOWN OF
MAYBERRY? Fife arrested them and took them down
to the station, nothing was adding up...Thelma Lou is
so sweet and would never hurt a soul, Gomer and
Goober have never committed a crime I thought
never would. Fife took Thelma Lou into the
investigating room and she said "It's not what you
think, I promise." Thelma
Lou explained that she
suffers from bipolar
disorder and the pill bottle
she dropped was her
medication, she was under
so much stress with the shipment of exotic sugar
being imported from Spain that Goober and Gomer
were supposed to take care of that she forgot to
take her medication and resulted in her slapping
Goober which she feels horrible about. Fife talked
with Goober and Gomer and the stories matched
up...just a big case of misunderstanding and just
another day in the small town of Mayberry.

Crime
Muhrle Boys set Cat on Fire! Written by

Mayberry Gazette

please contact Ice Cream Crime Stoppers at (123)

456-7890. Let's keep Mayberry Safe.

Kyle Brown
In the evening this past Sunday the Muhrle boys,
Johnny and Stevie, stole Aunt Beas cat and set him
on fire. These two boys are known to be a little
rebellious, but their recent wake of destruction is
affecting the
community.
From
painting
Principal
Wagners car to
egging
Mayor Filmores
house.
Fortunately for
Aunt
Beas cat,
Snuffles,
the boys were
caught by
Deputy Fife who
made them bring the cat back to Aunt Bea.Upon
their arrival Aunt Bea promptly snatched Snuffles
back and beat the two boys over the head with a
broom. Hopefully this puts the Muhrle boys reign of
terror to an end.

Ice Cream Thief! Written by Mary Warthan

A thief is among us! Having the lowest crime rate in
the country, Mayberry has never been known for
any kind of wrongdoing. Unfortunately, this
weekend something out of the ordinary happened.
After church service ended early Sunday morning, a
call was placed to the Mayberry Police regarding a
missing ice cream cone at Lickity Split Ice Cream
Parlor, right across from Mayberry Lake. The phone
call woke up the sheriff from his nap, and startled
him like no other. Sheriff Rog jumped up and ran to
the crime scene. When he got there, all he saw
around him was a bunch of families
in
their Sunday best. Sheriff Rog got
a brief description of the culprit
from the owner, but all she
remembered was that the
thief couldn't have been more
than 3' tall, had pigtails, and
tiny feet.
If you or anybody you know has
any information on this incident,

Local Sheriff Arrest Scissor Bandit

By

Susanne Anderson
Local barber shop robbery was
foiled by the quick thinking
Deputy Sherriff Fife. Deputy
Barney
Fife was patrolling Main Street,
measuring parked cars tires
distance from curb. City
ordinance states vehicles must
18 inches from curb. As he bent
down
to measure the distance, the
would-be robber ran out of the barber shop, tripped
over Deputy Fife, knocking robber to ground. Local
Barber Floyd came out screaming Stop Him!
Witness Floyd: When I realized Barney had already
stopped him, I shouted, Cuff him! Cuff him!
Deputy Barney took his cuffs off his belt, but the
cuffs fell to ground. Goober the mechanic, was
sitting on bench dashed under car to reach for cuffs.
As he and Barney were fumbling for the cuffs the
suspect tried to make a run for it. He jumped over
hood of car only to find Sherriff Andy Taylor, Sherriff
of Mayberry, in a patrol asking, "Can I help you? We
are here to serve. Smiling, he apprehends the
suspect. Thats our finest at work finishes Floyd.
Sherriff Taylor asks his name and why did steal
scissors from Floyds Barber shop? Thief answered,
I was just traveling through these parts, needing a
quick shave before my next stop and well, Look! He
cut my hair! Im mad as HELL! Sherriff Taylor
replied. Yes, I see. Its not that bad, a bit too short
on top, but itll grow and your name? Thief
answer, Donald Trump

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EVENTS
Mayberry Celebrates 150th
Foundation Day Written by Emma Valle

The entire town of Mayberry was in a festive mood

as it celebrated its 150th foundation. The celebration
was spearheaded by Mayor Pike. Fireworks launched
by Gomer and Goober started the festivities. The
band with adorable uniforms played its out of tune
music as it roamed around town. Banners, ribbons,
and garlands that festooned the streets of Mayberry
rallied against the out of tune music by allowing
themselves to be blown by the wind to Mt. Pilot. The
citizens of Mayberry rushed to Ely's pharmacy and
purchased ear plugs. Thousands of ear plugs were
sold that day. Ely, whose sales went up a thousand
fold, thought it was her lucky day and wished that
every day is Mayberry Day.
Meantime, the citizens of Mayberry gathered
around the plaza to join the games and watched the
entertainers. Andy Taylor the sheriff strummed his
guitar while Otis sang a lullaby. Ernestie recited a
soliloquy which cracked up the audience. Aunt Bea,
Clara, Floyd, and Opie rendered a heart-breaking
drama which made everybody laughed
On the other side of the plaza, Deputy Barney Fife
spearheaded the games. Water guns were
distributed to the children who wanted to join the
fun. Deputy Barney Fife himself adorned himself
with a pistol and a machine gun and hid himself
somewhere where his enemies could not hit him.
From afar, Barney saw two guys who went out of the
bank. The guys were carrying bags loaded with
money. Deputy Fife was alarmed! The bank was
robbed! With his pistol and machine gun, which
were actually loaded with water, he apprehended
the criminals. Deputy Barney Fife saved the day by
cracking up the criminals. The entire town honored
their hero Deputy Barney Fife in the awarding
ceremonies which concluded the Foundation Day
Celebration.

Mayberry Gazette

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The Talk of the Town! Written by Kara

Mayo
This week the talk of the town was the beautiful
country wedding between Mayberry's very own Opie
and Louise! We all knew these two would get
hitched someday. Sunday was the day. The wedding
took place at Opie's parents house, Sheriff Griffin
and Miss Bee's backyard. It was decorated to
perfection. The guests were to be seated on fresh
hay bales with Miss Bee's famous quilts for comfort.
The isle was decorated with those really beautiful
baby's breath you can find over off route 89 by the
river if you know where to look. And the altar was
something out of a country song. The branches
covering the altar had mason jars with little candles
lit in them and there was white ribbons hanging with
these twinkly lights. Louise and Miss Bee did a
beautiful job decorating.
It was time
for the
ceremony
and it
seemed like
the whole
town was
there. Opie was wearing a beautiful collared shirt
with that pocket square his dad wore on his
wedding, and the late Sheriff Griffin wore on his big
day too! Miss Bee walked with Opie and she looked
like the proudest momma. Of course the ceremony
wouldn't be complete without good old Rocky
walking the rings down the isle. That old dog had a
new trick that day.
Here came Louise, she looked stunning in her peach
colored off white dress with a beautiful crown of
babys breath and sunflowers. Her hair was long with
those loose girls that only the girls down at Curl Up
and Dry know how to do. Of course the ceremony
couldn't go off without one of those football studs
making a belch or a hoot hot or two. At the
reception there was the perfectly braised brisket
that the Sheriff wins all those medals for every year
at the fair. It was perfect. Everyone danced and
laughed and Bobby Ray even fell over a few times
after the moonshine just got two much. Mayberry's
got a new couple in town!

Mayberry Gazette

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Dancing Andy by Shannon Branom

Our very CCC Greensboro, Raleigh, Durham &
Charlotte. We asked Sherriff Andy what he was
excited about the most, Im excited that the
competition will be held at our very own Cross Creek
Country Club. The competition kicks off on Friday
October 2nd at 6pm at Cross Creek Country Club.
Tickets can be purchased at the fillin station with
Goober and/or Gomer. Lets wish him luck!
*Judges TBA

Joseph Joe Cartwright Named as

the next Bachelor By Stephanie Lonngo
Little Joe Cartwright has just been named the next
Bachelor! This will be the 20th season for the popular
ABC series.
Cartwright, 21 is a rancher from the ten-thousand
square mile family owned Ponderosa Ranch located
near Virginia City, Nevada. He has had plenty of
heart break in his life and is really hoping to find the
one this season. Joe states I am hoping to find the
love of my life. Someone I can bring home to Pa, and
run our ranch with.
Joe is not only a rancher, but also very active in his
community and their local law enforcement. In his
spare time he plays cards in the local taverns and
jokes with his older brothers Hoss, 33 and Adam, 27.
Joe often takes part in various rodeos around the
Midwest with his Paint horse, Cochise. Joe is an
experienced outdoorsman and craves adventure.
This season is bound to be full of surprises! Put on
your riding bootsladies and hop in the saddle, its
going to be a wild ride, YEEHAW!

Gossip
Column
Taylor Swift Allegedly Dating
Mayberry Local Barney Fife by Winter
Henrie
T-Swift is at it again. Reports of the singer
song writer were pouring in this afternoon
when Taylor was spotted with Sheriff
Deputy Barney Fife. They looked very
cozy, says the 23 year old waitress who
saw the couple nuzzling up to each other.
Though the new hot couple doesnt have
an official name, some of the town folk
have dubbed them as T-Swife. They are
one HOT couple, and we cant wait to see
where this whirlwind romance will go.

Whos Miley Cyrus secret guy? By

Breehanna Hausman
The two were seen in the small town trying to
hide at their candle light dinner. Andy's wife
died years ago and he is finally moving on?
We never expected this out of Andy because
he said he would never be with another
women after his wife. He even has a child to
think about! Miley is not the kind of girl we all
thought he would end up with. She is just so
opposite of his personality. Miley is trying to
keep this a secret but insider spotted them.
What will happen next with this new couple?
What will Miley say about her new man in her
life?

Melissa Gresko
9-18-15
Mayberry Newspaper- make a newspaper with classmates articles about Mayberry the small town on
the Andy Griffith Show
What I learned: I learned about the Andy Griffith Show. Ive heard about the show but didnt know the
story line or the characters. So before writing an article using these characters I had to familiarize myself
with them. I had fun reading all the well thought out articles from all the other classmates. It was
difficult for me not to pick all the articles because there were so many good ones. Using Word for this
project was a little harder for me. I would prefer to work with power point when designing something.
National Educational Technology Standards for Students (NETS)*S Addressed: Communication and
Collaboration: interact, collaborate, and publish with peers, experts, or others employing a variety of
digital environments and media.
Application of Skills Learned for the Future: I think this is a great class project to get them to read and
use each others articles. I would make it a make believe community and brainstorm with the whole
class to make up the town name, and our own characters of the town. And use the same basic concept
as we did make a 4-6 page newspaper article and have each student stand up and share it to the class.