Olivia Sheets

Talk Back Assignment

1. Write a paragraph or two that summarize(s) your overall reaction to your peers
comments in light of how you felt your original essay met the goals of the
assignment. Was your primary reaction surprise? Agreement? Something else?
Explain.

My overall reaction to my peers comments was in agreement with them.

They left comments on my paper telling me that my explanation, dialogue, flow,
and description were good. However, they said I needed to add more information
to the conclusion, which I knew I did. My conclusion was weak compared to the
rest of my paper. My peers gave me suggestions of what to add to my conclusion.
They told me I could tell how speech therapy helped me and elaborate more on
my sponsors.
The assignment said to reflect on the importance of literacy events,
sponsors, situations, and opportunities from your own life and reflect on their
significance. I included all of these points in my literacy memoir, but I might need
to go into more detail reflecting on their significance, which is also something I
can add to the conclusion.

2. Write a paragraph or two that summarize(s) your overall reaction to my (your

teachers) comments in light of how you felt your original essay met the goals of the

assignment. Was your primary reaction surprise? Agreement? Something else?

Explain.

My overall reaction to my teachers comments was also in agreement. My teacher

commented saying the flow was well and that I needed to improve my conclusion, which
I knew beforehand I needed to do. She made corrections on grammar, and spelling which
I found when I read my narrative to Kelsey from the Writing Resource Center (WRC).
My teacher also said I needed a more unique title which I knew and she suggested me
titling my narrative Olivia Goes to School, but when I went to meet with the WRC I
suggested the title Fighting Roadblocks to Kelsey and she liked it. My whole paper is
about roadblocks I have encountered along the way in developing my literacy so I believe
this title would be a good fit for my literacy memoir. My instructor also suggested that I
include my reaction to my teacher, Mrs. Morris, saying that I would be behind from the
start. By including my reaction it would help the readers see what it meant.

3. Next, for each major revision suggestion, please restate them (in your own words)
and briefly explain either how you plan to incorporate the suggestions into your
revised draft or why you feel a certain suggestion would not serve to improve your
essay. You are also encouraged to note which suggestions you found most/least clear
and helpful. Please note that resisting revision suggestions is perfectly acceptable as
long as you can provide a logical rationale behind your decision. For example, if you
feel a certain decision you madeas iseffectively fulfills the goals of the
assignment and serves your intended audience/purpose, make sure you explain why.

You might discuss your plans or anything that would hinder you from making these
revisions.

One major revision suggestion I received from both my peers and my teacher was
to revise my conclusion. I plan to do this by elaborating on my sponsors and
providing more detail to how my experiences have shaped me. Im going to

include this information in my conclusion.

Another revision suggestion was to include a unique title. My teacher suggested
titling my narrative memoir as Olivia Goes to School, but I attended a WRC
meeting and Kelsey liked my idea of titling my narrative as Facing Roadblocks.
If I title my narrative as Facing Roadblocks then I need to incorporate the word
roadblocks into the narrative. The whole narrative is about roadblocks Ive faced
and how I have got through these roadblocks. In the conclusion is where I can
include the word roadblocks describing the times Ive had trouble with my

literacy.
A comment from my instructor that I didnt find clear or I didnt understand was,
I worry that this narrative simplifies literacy, and perhaps it wouldnt if you
critiqued parts of your own story. Its not that Mrs. Morris is negative. You
obviously find her to be a powerful figure in your literacy development, but there
are a lot of assumptions made about who you are and what you do based off of the
alphabet and pronunciation, etc. I dont understand what this comment is telling
me to do to improve my literacy memoir.