You’ll never forget
Realistic us… just ask some of
Mountain
Adventure
We know what you
hate, and we will do
everything we can to
assure you the worst
holiday ever! It’s our
Realistic Adventure promise.
One Ripoff Lane
Breckenridge, CO 80424
Phone (800) BIG-FALL
BOOK YOUR HIGH PRICED LOUSEY
http://www.louseyvacation.com/ VACATION TODAY!
Phone: (800) BIG-FALL
REALISTIC MOUNTAIN
our past guests. ADVENTURE
“I’ve never been so excited to drive four
hours up a windy mountain road after my
ten hours of traveling through multiple Our mission is to provide you with
mediocre accommodations at a price
layovers and flight delays.” - Steve,
Miami no one can afford. We pride
ourselves in making your vacation
“As I tumbled head first down the slope, one so awful, you will never forget it!
everyone on the chairlift above was We look forward to showing you the
cheering. The locals were so supportive!” mountains!
– Jeff, Detroit
“The hotel staff did all they could to
ensure my check in was as complicated as
possible. When we finally got to our
room, we found all kinds of strange hair
in the bed. – Pamela, New York City
“I spent two months salary for a week
long vacation! Where else would I be
able to do that? – Robert, Minneapolis
“The chairlift lines were over an hour
long, and the lift broke down twice! This
helped the 45 mile per hour winds plenty Realistic Adventure
One Ripoff Lane
of time to give me frostbite on my nose.”–
Breckenridge, CO 80424
Tara, Omaha
Phone (800) BIG-FALL
“I’ll definitely go back! I only broke one
leg on the black diamond runs. Next
http://www.lousey vacation.com/
time… both legs!” – Jerry, Houston

Ski Packages Include:
ROUND TRIP AIRFAIR
We do our best working with airlines to
assure you multiple layovers and the
longest flight delays ever. Whenever
possible, we try to include long security
check point lines, lost luggage, screaming
children, and obese women with the flu
seated next to you.
GROUND TRANSPORTATION
Once you land in Denver, a 110 mile
drive still awaits you. We work closely
with the Colorado Department of
Transportation to assure high levels of
traffic, icy roads, and, whenever possible,
road closures. Our goal is to make this a
minimum of a four hour drive up the
windy mountain roads.
HOTEL ACCOMMODATIONS
Our hotel partners are among the most
overpriced in the world. We promise
Motel 6 rooms at Ritz-Carleton prices.
The staff at your hotel will treat you with
the warmth of the mountain peaks you
will not have views of from your window.
Overworked and underpaid, these college
dropouts will be sure to forget to deliver
your towels and steal your credit card
number at check out. Don’t even think
about asking for an extra blanket!
We understand your desire for
companionship in your hotel room, so the
housekeeping staff double checks make
sure you will have plenty of bed bugs to
keep you company. We have even gone
to the extent of assuring you will find
hairs in the bathroom and at least one
burnt out light bulb in every room.
MOUNTAIN EXPERIENCE
After waiting in ski rental lines for about
an hour, we will make sure your boots are
too small and skis too long for your
ability. Our trained technicians specialize
in adjusting bindings to allow you the
guest the most likely chance of
experiencing a broken leg or arm.
Life tickets cost approximately $80 per
person per day. In addition, we promise
you will easily round that number up to
$100 as you eat the greasiest hamburger
available on the mountain for lunch.
Don’t forget a handful of five dollar bills
too, as we know you will want a candy
bar.
Our double black diamonds and large
number of mogul runs mean you will
consistently feel like a novice skier and
get a lot of laughs and mocked from the
chair lift riders above. YARDSALE!
It goes without saying that our lift lines
are the longest and the lifts break down
daily. We’ve eliminated the cushions
from our lifts to make sure your back
aches by the time you get off. Feel free to
not get off at the top ramp too; we love to
send you around the track one more time!
“Traveling with Realistic
Adventure for our ski
vacation was the most
miserable and torturous
thing I have ever
experienced! I’ll definitely
be booking again next year!”
- Heather, St. Paul, MN
WEATHER
Book now, and we will work with
Mother Nature to assure high winds,
lousy snow, and cloudy days!
We hope to see
you this season!