Wearing my mask destination and feeling are names of the same concept Pain is th

e door.
1.
Intro 01:51
instrumental
2.
Kemisk krlek 07:05
Hide lyrics
Kemisk krlek / Chemical Love
(Written by Obehag)
Swedish:
De mrka skmoln som omgett mig
enda sedan jag var en liten grabb
har nu brjat rra p sig
himlen ppnar sig och solen tittar fram
nd kan jag inte se ngot ljus
De varma starka strlar som
solen skickar mot mig silas bort
av min apatiska hjrna
Jag tnker fr mig sjlv:
Du kunde lika grna varit gubben i mnen
gr och trist, kall och dd
Nu nr jag tnker efter har vi mycket
gemensamt du och jag
Vi r bda p herrens baksida
Tomt p liv, tomt p hopp
Enbart ett livlst skal som vntar...
vntar p att solen skall frvandlas
till en stor rd jtte och sluka oss
tillsammans med Herr Tellus och dess
ofrskmt lyckliga hjrnskadade invnare
Min enda rddning ifrn mitt depraverade
nersmutsade liv r du.. du gr mig lycklig
att bara f vara i din nrhet gr mig
helt skakig av gldje och krlek
Jag drar en lina och du frs upp genom
min nsa och ger mig mening
du lyser upp det tomrum jag befinner mig i
och fr en stund r jag p riktigt glad
men bara fr att allt sedan ska skljas bort
av en mordisk tsunami utan hmningar
allt ligger de och min skalle har ftt sig
en rejl smll... ensam fr jag ligga i
detta inferno.. men det r okej lskling
om nn timme ska du f fylla mitt huvud
med frhoppningingar om en ljus framtid n en gng
men just nu mste jag vila.
English:
The dark thunderclouds which has surrounded me
Ever since I was a little kid
Has now started to move
The heaven opens up and the sun is looking down
Yet I can not see any light
The warm and strong rays the sun sends to me
Are filtered off by my apathic brain
I'm thinking for myself:
You could as well be the man in the moon
Gray and dull, cold and dead
Now when I think about it,
We have alot in common, you and me

We are both on the backside of the lord

Devoid of life, devoid of hope
Only a lifeless shell that's waiting...
Waiting for the sun to turn into a big red giant
And devour us together with Mr. Tellus
And its rudely happy braindamaged inhabitants
My only rescue from my depraved soiled life
Is you.. you make me happy
To just be near you makes me all shaky
Of joy and love
I'm snorting a line
And you enter through my nose and gives me reason
You illuminate this void I'm in
And for awhile I'm actually happy
But only for everything to be washed away
By a murderous tsunami without inhibitions
Everything is deserted and my head has suffered
A severe blow... Lonely I get to lie in this inferno
But it's OK, honey
Within a couple of hours you'll get to fill my head
With hopes about a bright future once again
But right now I need to rest
3.
Lmna mig ifred
06:47
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Lmna mig ifred / Leave Me Alone
(Written by LR from Lifelover for Apati)
Swedish:
Att frska hitta det dr lendet hos mig
Skulle bara vara lnlst nu
Dessa gon har frlorat sin gnista
Vill stjla ngons husbil
Dra ivg p en dammig grusvg
Med en iskall l i handen
Mot Ingenmansland under klarbl Himmel
Stanna upp i en oknd byhla
P ett sjaskigt gatukk
F kft p magen med en flottbomb
Stanna en vecka, sen dra till nsta stlle
Skicka ett SMS nr jag ska orka bry mig
English:
To try finding that smile on me
Would just be useless now
These eyes has lost their spark
I want to steal someones motorhome
Leave on a dusty gravel road
With an icecold beer in my hand
Towards no-man's-land beneath a blue sky
Stop in an unknown village
At a shabby snack bar
Make the stomach shut up with greasy food
Stay for a week, then go to the next place
Send me a text message when I'm supposed to care
4.I Love You
04:58
(Written by Patient C)
When I'm watching your face
Your beautiful, smooth skin

And hears that honey-smooth voice of yours

Which cradles me into some kind of love trance
When I stare into your eyes
I'm being filled with an indescribable feeling
I've never felt like this before
What's happening to me?
I'm feeling a strong desire to strangle you
To kill you, torture you, mutilate you
Cut your throat open and urinate in the open wound
Stare into your eyes as I'm watching your life slowly drain away
Squeeze my lips against your ears and say, I love you
While I slowly puts the knife into your chest
5.The Flood of Sins
07:10
(Written by Patient C)
No matter how hard you try to make me realize, how much you're comforting me, he
lping me
There is always that small, but yet so strong, spark
Which somehow makes the fire burn once again
Which burns me from within and out
How much you fill me with lies
Lies about everything being great, it'll be fine, it'll be OK
I spit in your face and says thanks and good bye
It's enough! I've heard all too many lies
The lies which together with the fire is killing me
Slowly but surely I'm walking around in circles
Slowly but surely I'm selfdying in this gray city
of gross concrete, built by gross hands
Built by false, lying gross fuckers like you
But deep inside I wish that your lies are true
While I quietly prey
"After rain there's the flood of sin, in which we all shall be caught up in"
6.

Ctrl+Z 04:46

7. In Company of Suppressed Memories

05:30
(Written by C9H13N)
The deafening sound of heavy rain against the window
fades down behind the thoughts
The darkness of the winter night which cautiously
creeps in through my pulled down blinds
feels like a concentrated evil
a darkness of the purest kind
I feel how it cuts into me and dances the dance of madness with my mind
Unknown and difuse memories chafes under my closed eyelids
Tears begins to flow as a reaction to the pain
Along the veins the cold is spreading
of all the winters I've lived through
And hidden behind the shadows in my subconscious
lies my conscience in fetal position and hyperventilates
8.Everything Is the Same
04:54
(Written by C9H13N)
I'm being woken up at the middle of the night
By a stomach as empty as my soul
I shove my hand down my overfilled ashtray
And looking in vain for a smokeable cigarette butt
Before I accidentally pulls down the shit from the table

The ashes sticks onto the old beer

Spilled on the floor next to the mattress
A couple of cop cars are passing by
The sound of their stressful sirens
Gnaws itself into my head
I'm trying to ignore the thoughts
About that it's me they're looking for
I've been sleeping with my clothes on again
And in my pocket I find some pills
The darkness and the hangover makes it impossible
To see what kind of shit it is
Without caring I swallow it all
Together with the left-overs of a stale beer
I pull my fingers through my greasy hair
And thinking that what difference would it make
If I never woke up again
9.Total Absence of Joy 05:16
(Written by Obehag)
I'm slowly waking up, it's Sunday
I can clearly hear how the rain beats against my window
I don't want to get up
Can't I just stay here benath my dirty and torn blanket?
I get up anyways, walking towards the window and looking out
The street lights illuminates the sad, dark November night
In this tragic middleclass ghetto
In an attempt to appease my nicotine withdrawal
I'm reaching for the John Silver package
Which is lying on the dusty floor
I don't get surprised when I meet an empty package
My usual luck...
With a cigarette butt in my mouth I'm summarizing my life
Everything I've accomplished, the film that keeps going in my mind
Feels shorter than a TV commercial
Is this what it's all about?
Will it always be like this?
Where is the joy you're feeling? Why can't I take part of it?
Why? Why? Why? Why?
10. Morgondagen 08:29
Morgondagen / Tomorrow
(Written by Patient C and Obehag)
The alarm clock feels like knives in my brain
For a long time I keep lying beneath my blanket
Thinking, imagining, yeah, I'm even fantasizing
About a future, a future far away from this hell
My breakfast is yet another beer, to be able to go back to sleep
Tomorrow is cancelled, in lack of interest
Another beer to get away, slowly disappear
Wither into the shadows, the hidden void within my head
I report sick for the rest of my life, and chooses total isolation
My tomorrow is cancelled, in lack of interest