The Adjusted Man

Everyone came to know about him,

the man out of synch,

the man out of time,

the Adjusted Man.

He wasn’t always thirty-two seconds behind

but had been since the age of four and a half

and an unspeakable accident

(of which we will not speak)

and that made for a very interesting life.

Imagine . . . only being able to kiss when you’re target stops moving for a time.

Anything less ends up with people having dental and facial surgery.

Imagine . . . being the guy who starts laughing at the punchline

well after everyone else is past the hilarity.

He was even late for his own funeral . . .

Speaking of which,

the day he died . . .

he saw it coming like a freight train and then life caught up,

making the final adjustment,

making everything right again.

Or at least it seemed that way . . .

His old girlfriend’s new boyfriend

is patient, waiting for his new girlfriend

to learn to kiss again.