Running head: GENDER ROLE AND IDENTITY WITHIN A HOUSEHOLD

Gender Role and Identity within a Household

Katherine Zaleski
University of Memphis

Gender Role and Identity within a Household

GENDER ROLE AND IDNTITY WITHIN A HOUSEHOLD

Gender is one of the most important aspects of life. Gender is how humans identify each
other. Ones gender is given to them at birth. It is their physiological make up, when someone is
born they are pronounced male or female. According to Winsor, Murrell & Magun- Jackson, Sex
refers to your biological, anatomical makeup. Sex and gender are not the same. During childhood
development, children establish characteristics of their sex. These characteristics are called
gender roles. Gender Roles are roles in each of our cultures which define what we can and
cannot do or what we may be expected to do or not to do. This is based on whether we are male
or female (Winsor et al., 2015). Children observe their parents actions during daily activities.
The son watches the father do chores around the house just as the daughter watches her mother
do her chores. By watching the parent of the same gender, the children learn gender roles and
model that behavior. Because of childrens tendency to model behavior, children that live in a
single parent home can pick up uncharacteristic like gender roles.
A child raised in a two parent household is more likely to develop a balanced gender role.
The boy is likely to follow the examples set by his father and the girl is likely to follow the
example set by her mother. This suggest that in a stable two parent household, the children will
learn traditional sex roles from interacting with their father and watching their mother and father
interact with each other (Russell & Ellis, 1991). The children in this household have a more
concrete way of developing gender roles and finding their gender identity. If the child has both a
mother, who is female, and a father, who is male, the child will most likely model behavior from
the parent of their own gender. Children observe everything that authoritative figures do and then
try to imitate it. For example, when a young boy is watching his father rake the leaves, he
watches all of the steps that his father takes. After watching, the boy may ask to help participate
in raking the leaves. After a few times helping his father he may try to rake the leaves on his own

GENDER ROLE AND IDNTITY WITHIN A HOUSEHOLD

next time. The father-son or mother-daughter relationship goes beyond household chores. The
children observe their parents lifestyle. For example a girl growing up watching her mother may
notice how she gets ready to leave the house for dinner. The girl watches her mother put on
makeup, curl her hair, put on a dress and high heels. The daughter sees her mother do these
things and her instinct is to want to do the same thing. In a two parent household the mother and
father show characteristics of both male and female. The children then acquire these
characteristics.
Unfortunately sometimes children are not always raised by two parents. There can be
certain circumstances when the child does not get to observe the gender roles portrayed by their
mother or father. This can sometimes lead to the child being confused as to what gender roles to
adopt. Marks, Lam, & Wright state, as the primary gender socialization agents in their daughters
lives, mothers have a profound influence on daughters self-perceptions and aspirations (As cited
in Rittenour, Colaner, & Odenweller 2014). A young girl may not be exposed to some feminine
gender roles if she was raised with a single father. The young girl may not think about wearing
makeup until a lot later than normal because she has never experienced her mother putting it on.
This can lead to the girl being called a tomboy because she likes to play rough and does not
wear makeup. This is caused by only being able to watch her father do things; naturally she is
going to favor everything her father does. The girls that are raised in a single father household
are more affected in the earlier stages of their life. As the girls get older they tend to pick up the
characteristics they would have normally picked up from their mother, and pick them up from
their friends or older role models. The gender roles of females can be easily altered if they are
not able to observe their mothers at a young age. These changes do not affect the child

GENDER ROLE AND IDNTITY WITHIN A HOUSEHOLD

permanently or change the way that the girls look at themselves. It changes the gender roles of
the girls and gives them a more tomboy appearance during the younger stages of their life.
Just as a girl without a mother growing up can influence gender roles, so can a boy
growing up without his father. A father plays as a huge role model for his son growing up. A son
being raised by only a mother can be considered more emotional about things. The child has only
observed his mother and only responds to situations the way his mother responds to them. Many
times the mother solves situations in a more emotional way compared to the father. As a result,
the boy may do the same thing his mother does because that is all he has been taught. For
example if a kid on the playground calls the boy an insulting name. Instead of calling the kid an
insulting name back, the kid could start crying. This is an example of the father not being able to
be there to model to the son the Big boys dont cry mindset. This is not exactly the best
mindset, but it is a popular one in male society. This is something that most fathers instill in their
young boys whether they intend to or not. If the boy never sees his father cry then he thinks that
men do not cry. Boys are striving to become like men throughout childhood. Everything they do
is to become more like a man, usually the boy has some kind of role model in his life that teaches
him these manlike values. Whether it is an older brother, uncle or coach, a young boy should
always have someone to look up to and talk to.
It is difficult for the parent and child when the child goes through puberty. Puberty is a
part in the childs life that is essential for them becoming a man or woman. In a single parent
household the single father can feel out of his comfort zone when he tries to give advice to his
daughter, because his their experiences have not been the same. It would be hard for a mother to
give advice to her teenage son as well. It is challenging for a parent to give advice to their child
when they have not experienced these things themselves. For example it can be intimidating for a

GENDER ROLE AND IDNTITY WITHIN A HOUSEHOLD

father to give advice to his daughter about wearing bras, shaving, putting on makeup and
obviously menstruating. The girl will at some point in her life want to do all of these things and
will probably ask her dad for them if she lives in a single parent household. For a boy living with
only his mother there can be complications in gender roles too. The mother may not know how
to shoot a gun, shave a face, or work with tools. When the boy gets old enough he is going to
want to learn how to do these things. It can be hard on a mother to tell her son that she cannot
teach him how to do them. While going through puberty the boys and girls are physically
changing drastically and they need advice on how to deal with these things. Without a parent of
the same sex, the child will not experience puberty the same way as a child with the same parent.
This can ultimately lead to the child having different gender roles. Instead of working with tools
and shooting guns which is stereotypical gender roles for guys, he may learn how to cook. For a
girl besides learning how to put on makeup, she may know how to hunt and fish instead.
Toys even try to create gender roles and stereotypes. The girls play with baby
dolls and cook in their toy kitchen, and the boys play with guns, toy trucks, and Legos.
Society would frown upon a girl playing with a boys toy or a boy playing with a doll.
This is why growing up learning about gender roles are so important in the development
of a child (Rittenour et al., 2014).
There are certain situations where both parents live in the house but the children are
being raised by only one parent. This can be caused by one of the parents working all the time
and being out of town or one of the parents could be neglectful. In both situations the parent is
not giving their child the proper amount of attention and guidance. This leaves the other parent to
do all of the teaching and nurturing. If the parent is neglectful, it can be even more harmful to the
childs look on gender roles. For example if a boy has a father that is neglectful he may not like

GENDER ROLE AND IDNTITY WITHIN A HOUSEHOLD

his father, because his father does not show any love towards him. The boy may not want to act
like his father at all due to this. He may gravitate towards his mother and want to be like her. If
the boy looks up to his mother and is scared of his father then he will do things the way his
mother would. The boy may think If growing up into a man means I will be like my father then I
do not want to grow up. It can be better at times for a child to live in a single parent household
than for a child to live in a two parent household with a neglectful parent.
Overall it can be difficult for a child and a parent while growing up in a single parent
household compared to a two parent home. It affects the childs perspective on gender roles. In
fear of becoming like their parent, when the child has a parent that is neglectful then it could
harm the childs view. It makes the child want to do the opposite of their same sex parent.
Growing up in a single parent household does not always mean the child is going to portray
different gender roles. If the child has older sibling, aunts and uncles, and positive mentors in
their life then it will help the child in doing what would normally be done in a two parent
household. The older role model may not completely fill the void of the missing parent but they
will give the child the moral support that they need and be able to be there when the child has
questions that may not be able to be answered by the single parent.

GENDER ROLE AND IDNTITY WITHIN A HOUSEHOLD

References
Rittenour, C. E., Colaner, C. W., & Odenweller, K. G. (2014). Mothers
identities and gender socialization of daughters. Southern Communication
Journal, 79(3), 215-234.
Russell, C. D., & Ellis, J. B. (1991). Sex role development in single parent
households. Social Behavior & Personality: An International Journal,
19(1), 5-9.
Winsor, D.L., Murrell, V.S., & Magun-Jackson, S. (2015). Lifespan
development: An Educational Psychology Perspective. Boston, MA:
Pearson Learning Solutions.