Fiona Robinson

Marriage and Family Relationships

Word Count: 690
OPTION D: ARE YOU READY

Marriage should not be taken lightly. If a young adult were to approach me and ask my
opinion on how do you know if you are ready for marriage? I would be brutally honest with
them. I would let them know that marriage can be a wonderful thing, but an unhappy, highconflict marriage may leave spouses worse off than had they not married or ended their
marriage. (Strong & Cohen, 2014, 290).
Ted Huston said that troubled courtships generally give way to unhappy or fragile
marriages (Strong & Cohen, 2014, 291). My first question to this young adult would be, are
they in love or are they settling for this person due to possible economic and social pressures?
(Strong & Cohen, 2014, 288). Are they a strong believer in homogamy? Or do they not care so
much? Can they communicate effectively with their partner or is there a lot of conflict? Although
researchers dont place a lot of attention on personality as a factor, it has a clear affect on the
marital process. (Strong and Cohen, 2014, 292). If someone hasnt taken the time to get to know
their partner and understand their personality, they might not realize that marriage might not be
the best thing for them at the time. Undesirable traits may become magnified in marriage
because we must live with them in close, unrelenting, and everyday proximity (Strong and
Cohen, 2014, 291). Some habits and personality traits can be bearable to live with, like saying
Ecspecially instead of Especially, but what if their partner is an aggressive non-verbal
communicator and thats the way they prefer to communicate, when they themselves are a
strictly verbal communicator? Marriage might not be the best option for them.

Did this couple have a good relationship before deciding upon marriage? Relationship
factors can also predict marital success. (Strong & Cohen, 2014, 293). If your relationship
beforehand was not happy and you are hoping that marriage will change that, you are out of luck.
It is a dangerous myth that marriage will change a person for the better. (Strong & Cohen,
2014, 291) Marriage is the next level in a relationship/courtship. You are picking one person, to
spend the rest of your life with for better or for worse. I think in a relationship you always have
that we can just break up out. In a marriage, going through a divorce can be a very messy
hurtful experience. It is not a simple process. Relationships factors are important to consider
when entering a marriage.
Background factors are very important, as they have shaped who an individual is.
Adolescents and young adults are known for being immature and impulsive. A pop culture term
for that generation is YOLO which stands for you only live once. Inviting young people to
seize the day, act in the moment (Drake, 2011). Another pop culture influence is form a famous
music artist, who sang Its a beautiful night, were looking for something dumb to do, hey baby,
I think I wanna marry you. And if we wake up and you want to break up, thats cool, no I wont
blame you, it was fun (Marry You, Bruno Mars 2010). People who marry young are at greater
risk of seeing their marriages fail. (Strong and Cohen, 2014, 291) We live in an era where there is
no rush to get married. In earlier generations, for some people, marriage was the only event that
happened to them. They depended on getting married and moving out of their parents house and
having their partner provide for them. But there are so many more opportunities today for young
people to experience, whether its school or a profession or traveling. There isnt a rush to marry
and you can spend longer getting to know someone.

Some individuals survive a marriage when they get married at a young age. If a person is
in a good place with themselves, their relationship and their adulthood, then I would say go
ahead and get married at 21. But I would want them to really consider everything first and not
impulsively leap into a marriage because it would be fun.

Reference List:
Strong, B & Cohen, T.F. (2014). The Marriage and Family Experience: Intimate Relationships In
A Changing Society (12th ed.) Belmont, CA: Wadsworth
Drake (2011). The Motto
Mars, Bruno (2010). Marry You