Main Point of Paragraph

Paragr
aph

Final, Revised
Submission

What You
Added/Omitted
and Why

#1

The main point

of the paragraph
is to introduce
the topic,
scholarly and
non-scholarly
articles, and
provide an
entertaining
hook.

Because my
thesis statement
made the
paragraph so
long and hardly
connected to
the rest of the
paragraph, I
decided to
remove the
thesis and make
it a paragraph
of its own. By
removing the
thesis I was able
to get better
flow through the
paragraph and
not have the
paragraph
switch from
topic to topic.

#2(Thes
is
Stateme
nt)

These academic and

nonacademic articles
appeal to different
audiences leading to
their use of different
conventions such
as diction and
presentation to
communicate their
messages effectively.
If such convention or
action used by the
author can be
deemed justifiable it
is also referred to as
a move. Since both
types of articles can
be deemed credible,
due to their use of
reputable scientific
research, they both
accomplish the
purpose of explaining
the dangers of
consuming processed
meat.

This second
paragraph I
dedicated to my
thesis rather
than jumping
into my body
paragraphs. The
thesis statement
had major
improvements
the main one
being a more
writing based
argument. I
changed my
thesis by first
including both
conventions and
moves as part of
my argument,
defining both. I
defined both
terms to make
my argument
more clear and
to steer away
from confusion.
Also I decided
that in this