Mayberry Brief

Volume 1, Issue 1

November 2015

Threes Company

Hometown Hero Returns

By Lonnie Barton

By Robert Smith

You heard it here first our town of Mayberry has

some new residents. Not 1, not 2, but 3 beautiful little
babies. Proud parents Mary Beth Sue and Larry
Butch Paul Dunlap are excited to bring home their
bundles of joy to their home where they will meet their
4 brothers and 2 sisters. The Dunlap clan is growing
quickly. The excitement all started as Mary Beth was
out front on her porch tending to her silver medal
county fail award winning Daisys and Dandelions when
she began feeling some pain.

Hometown Hero John Reece returned this summer

upon request from Principal Wood Head. Reece
graduated from Mayberry High School 8 years ago with
scholarships to Harvard, Stanford, MIT and many other
schools both for his part in leading the school to
several football state championships as well as for his
ground breaking research on optics that has allowed
for Nasa to now be able to further out in space than
they have ever been able to see before.

continued on page 2

INSIDE THIS ISSUE

1

Hometown Hero Returns

Bluebell Brawl

Local Farmer Shot

Fundraiser Burglarized

Charlie; Saves the Sheriff

Where are the Apple Pies?

New Tech for Sheriff

Principal Woodhead has asked Reece to come back to

be the football coach head of the gifted science
program at Mayberry High. Reece having made
millions of dollars with his patents and endorsements
donated over 500 thousand dollars to the science
program and has agreed to come back to coach and
teach for the generous salary of $1 a year. Mr. Reece
welcome back.

Newsletter 1

Threes Company Cont

She hoot and hollered for Butch out back to help her
as she could hardly stand. Butch wasted no time and
sprung into action loading her up in their 4-wheeled
truck. Man she was harder to get up on to that truck
than I thought said Butch. As they raced down Main
Street to the town hospital they barely made it; her
water broke - these 3 little biscuits wanted to come
out. Marty Beths third cousin Skeet told us that the 3
babies are as beautiful as his grandmas pumpkin pie.

Bluebell Brawl
By: Ivonne Garcia

Last night at the local Walmart, two women became

violent towed each other went one discovered that the
other had the very last carton of Bluebell Red Velvet
ice cream. This ignited a fist fight that lasted over six
minutes. One witness said that the carton of ice cream
was completely destroyed. A friend of one of the
women said " she's been going through a bad break
up" There will be more updates this story.

Above Skeet Dunlap

Skeet said Im so excited I could spit.

LOCAL FARMER SHOT

Crime Scene at Peabody Residence

Investigators at Peabody Residence

On Tuesday November 11th, Old man Peabody was woken up by a .38 caliber bullet wound in his left leg. While
several witnesses said they heard three gunshots; A shooter however, wasn't reported. An investigation was
started, but before it was concluded, two young boy confessed that they had left some old bullets they found on
the nearby railroad track. The boys said that they often line up pennies and dimes on the tracks next to Mr.
Peabody's farm, and they expected that the bullets might explode. Mr. Peabody was quick to condemn the boys
electing that they should be "shot in the leg to learn some respect". The parents of the boys each claimed the
other families son should be responsible for influencing their child into playing such a reckless game. Eventually
the conflict was settled outside a court of law as both families paid for the damages to Mr. Peabody and his
house.
By:Jeremy Madaus
Newsletter 2

By: Briana Ochoa

Mayberry Historical
Society Annual
Fundraiser Burgled!

Above: Charlie, Hero Dog

As we all know, our farm cows in this town love the sound of
instruments and music. As the morning parade began in the

By: Amber Garrett

town of Mayberry, the cows quickly made their way towards the
street, jumping over the farm fence. Sheriff (who still was a little
tipsy from the night before) was stumbling his way towards the
parade, when the herd of cow came running towards him
following the sound of the music! Charlie, a recognizable dog in
this town, and a local family pet, came running towards the

Yesterday was the festival for the Mayberry

Historical Society where the whole town
turned out to enjoy the festivities while
raising money to erect the Founding Fathers
statue in front of Town Hall next year. The
town raised the goal amount of $10,000.00
for the statue, but last night their office was
burglarized and the money was stolen. A
town Deputy responded to a 911 call from
Harry Dickens who was walking his dog and
heard the sound of breaking glass. This
morning we talked to Jimmy Rae Dawson,
Mayberrys Fire Chief and the artist who is
going to create the statue who said, Cant
wait till they catch the bugger, who would do
such a terrible thing!

Above: Thelma Lou Pie Store

rescue, pulling Sheriff Andrew Taylor out of the way from being
trampled by the cows! The cows made it to the parade, mooing
along to the sound of the trumpets; and Charlie, the golden
retriever was named town hero!
Current update just in: The farmer, whom the cows escaped
from said, "I don't know how those daggone cows made it out
of that fence, but I'll be making it higher!"
DONT FORGET TO VOTE for COUNTY BOARD
TOWN HALL * DECEMBER 15 * 6:00pm-8:00pm

Mayberry missing Apple Pies!

By: Mary Groseclose
Monday morning when Thelma Lou came into her pie store
she had stepped on a huge pile of apple filling and slipped and
fell. Frantically she had ran to the phone to call Deputy Barnie
Fife thinking she had been robbed. When Barnie had arrived
he went into the back to check the place to make sure it was
safe. All of sudden, a loud thump came from the fridge! Barnie
opens it only to find Otis locked in the fridge. He decided that
since nothing was open to barge into the bakery to get some
pies and ended up getting locked in the fridge with all the pies!
Newsletter 3

Little Sally said No!

By: Kendela Cress
The two were perfect for each other. We have
watched them grow up together, and we saw the
change in them when they found each other. It was
our job as a town to set up the perfect proposal for the
love birds. The one thing we did not account for was
her saying no. Although we all got to hear about it until
they took the drive out of town to see the stars, we did
not get to hear about the actual proposal until they
came back. Everything up until the drive went
smoothly. We all heard about Little Johnny tripping
and landing on his bum. We all heard about Little Sally
laughing so hard milk came out of her nose. We even
heard about Johnny not letting her sit down until he
gave her the flowers. When they drove away they
seemed completely happy. Coming back they would
not even look at each other. I was the only one still

Sheriff's Office Gets New

Police Radio

about so I could tell y'all what the outcome was. She

had told me that he had not got down on one knee so
she refused. After she refused to marry him, he tried

By: Kelley Johnson

again but got down on one knee this time. She

accepted this time. Looks like we have a fall wedding
to plan.

Everyone loves Ms. Cynthia Patterson. Her

kind heart, and her warm smiles makes her
this months community citizen of the
month. When you see her around town give
her a big hug and say thank you. Thank
you for always being a positive and happy
person. WE love you Ms. Cynthia!!

The Mayberry sheriff's office recently got a new

police radio. The radio was purchased through a
state grant for local police departments. It will help
our sheriff Andy Taylor and his deputy to more
efficiently fulfill their duties. According to Deputy
Barney Fife, "With this new technology, Andy and I
can continue to stay on the cutting edge of crime
fighting. We can let each other know more quickly
what's going on and foil any crime as they're in
progress. This new equipment will bring us into the
modern age of law enforcement." It will be exciting to
see how the new police radio in the sheriff's office
changes the way that our law enforcement officers
do their job. Deputy Fife has offered to show off the
radio and to explain how it works to any citizen of
Mayberry who are interested in seeing it.

Newsletter 4