Running head: IMPRESSIONS

Impressions: Impacts of a Family Member

Ashley Tawney
University of Kentucky

Abstract

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I am able to show how my mother has influenced me the most in my life through impression
formation and impression management. In this paper, I have I can use applied impression
formation concepts concepts from impression formation such as such as physical appearance and
assumed similarity to show how my initial impressions of my mother were formed. My first
memories of my mother were of how beautiful she was, as well as how she always had a soft
face and open arms when she greeted me. Her physical appearance allowed me to learn that she
was always there for me and that I could always feel secure with her. Through assumed similarity
I connected with my mom even if I had to dismiss any experiences that proved my mother and I
were different. Then through using concepts of impression management, such as other
enhancement, consistency, and behavior matching, I explained why and how my mom continues
to influence who I am today. am able to show how my impressions are managed by my mom.
Through other enhancement my impression of my mom is that she is not like everyone else since
she enjoys and strives to make other happy or be positive rather than the typical women putting
others down to make themselves feel better. The main way my mom has managed the impression
I made of her is through consistency because it taught me trust, and I learned to look for peoples
verbal and nonverbal communication to match up. Lastly my mother uses the lack of behavior
matching by not conforming to society when we moved towns. To this day she is still the same
women I first remember and hasnt changed just because the people she is around on a daily
basis are different.

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Introduction
The commonly used phrase, the apple doesnt fall far from the tree, is a part of my life
because ever since I was little, I associated myself as very similar to with my mom. She also
continues to be , as well as, she was and still is a my role model for me today. Whether someone
believes it or not, everyone is who they are today based on influences they had growing up.
Personally, mMy mother is and always has been the most influential person in my life. As a
child, our minds are new to everything and dont know right from wrong or even who we should
and should not trust. It is necessary to use impression formation as well as impression
management to know people better and to be able to learn about them.
Through impression management, In this paper, I will I am able to explain my mothers
influence on me using several concepts of impression management: through other enhancement,
consistency, and behavior matching. Before this, I will also use the concepts of physical
appearance and assumed similarity to describe how I formed my initial impressions of her.
Impression Formation
Concept 1: Physical Appearance
My initial impression of my mother was that she was someone I could feel secure with
and comforted by. These impressions I formed were because of her appearance. Im really not
sure what my very first memory of my mother is, but that may be because I am lucky enough to
have one who has been by my side since birth. Psychology plays a role in the fact that my initial
impressions of her, especially of security, are because of her appearance. Our brains use physical
appearance to initially judge someone, and receive first impressions to see if it is safe to interact
with them, (Woffhechel et al., 2014). My mother was similar to a giant teddy bear because I

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could always run up to her and burry my head in her arms. She always had a soft face, and
smiled uncontrollably at me.
Being a four-year old, everything in the world is enormous, especially adults. Because
my mother seemed to be enormous to me, I also always felt as if she could easily protect me if
anything ever went wrong. She always held my hand crossing the street, or kept me close if she
was not familiar with a place. When a person has an influence on feeling safe, then they
automatically are viewed in a positive light because that feeling is the first thing our mind looks
for since everyones main purpose is to survive, (Kressel & Uleman, 2014). In my eyes my
mother was perfect in every aspect especially as a little girl. Anytime I had a bad day, I always
knew I could come home and she would let me get buried on her lap with blankets while she
watch a TV show. She always greeted me with a soft face and open arms. Like wonder woman,
she could lift me up and carry me on her back.
Physically, my mother was also appealing to me because of the way she looked. When I
think of my mother, I also think of perfection. She had Lluscious locks of golden blonde hair,
piercing deep sea eyes, and of course her finger nails were always painted a deep burgundy color,
no matter the season. Physically, my mother was appealing to me because of the way she looked.
My mother was an ideal image of a beautiful, successful, and strong woman, which made me
want to be just like her. Since she always had a soft face, I knew it was ok to be around her and
want to have her attention. To me, her hair was what seemed like three feet long so I loved
playing with it. Since my mother was always in a positive mood, well at least what I can
remember, I thought of her in more of a positive light. I thought of her in more of a positive light
because it matched up with her personality, and when people are nicer, or more positive, the
brain associates them with a more positive view, (Forgas, 2014). Also mentioned by Forgas

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(2014), is how the people that are visible often, our brain associates them as more important or
influential. This also explains how friends who are always around each other tend to pick up and
start to do or say things that others in the group do or say often. Therefore, since I was around
my mother almost every day of my life, she is logically the most influential person to me,
through her appearance and simply her presence around me often.
Concept 2: Assumed Similarity
Through assumed similarity I was able to form initial impressions on my mother. Because
I wanted to be like my mom, I paid attention to things she liked to do and followed her
everywhere. If she needed to go to the grocery store I whined until she let me go with her
because since I assumed we were similar, I wanted to be with her every minute of the day. One
thing we had in common was that we liked certain foods over others (fruits versus vegetables)
and being active in sports and outside activities. Some of the first memories of us together was
the common factor that my mother and I love fruit, especially mangoes and peaches. I then
connected us with everything after that experience. Once there are a few things that shows
similarity between two people, then our brain associates anything and everything, especially if
someone is always around the other, (Forgas, 2014; Cattafesta, 2015).
For as long as I can remember, I was always active and always wanted to go outside and
play games. Once I was old enough to actually play sports my mom put me in gymnastics and
soccer since I had an abundant amount of energy, even for a young child. My mom would tell me
stories about how active she was as a kid as well, she played volleyball up until college, as well
as she was a cheerleader all of high school. My mother rarely forced or even encouraged me to
do anything since I am and always have been independent, she knew I would do what I wanted
to no matter what. Through my childhood I participated in many sports, from gymnastics to

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soccer and almost everything in between. She always enjoyed being active by playing sports, and
I did too. Therefore, through assumed similarity, I assumed I was just like her in every aspect,
even though it was just a few things that we were actually similar in.
Through assumed similarity, I believed I was just like my mom, and anytime I was
different, I pretended to be more similar. For example, if she was enjoying a TV show, I acted
like I was enjoying it too because the idea of not being similar was not ok in my mind. Or, I
would pretend I liked the idea of picking which fruit was going to be for lunch tomorrow
because I knew she did. Our subconscious continuously looks for ways to relate us to one
another because everyone always wants to fit in, even if it means not telling the truth (Kressel &
Uleman, 2014). Because I admired my mother, I wanted to be like her, even if that behavior
didnt always match who I was. We, as humans, use experiences in order to make impressions
and how we view other people.
Traumatizing memories are easier to remember because it usually comes out of nowhere.
When one has a traumatizing memory, they usually try to dismiss any association between
themselves and the person associated with the memory. However, we do associate what we
remember with each person we meet, and most likely the initial memory or first one you can
remember will stick in your mind forever, (Kressel & Uleman, 2014). Since I had initially seen
similarity between my mother and me, any new memory or aspect of her that I learned I made
sure we still matched. In my mind, my mother and I were connected and always would be similar
no matter what. I refused to face any reality of differences between us. I did whatever I had to
do, whether that meant I had to pretend to be different than I was, or that I had to dismiss the
differences.
Impression Management

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Concept 1: Other Enhancement

One way I formed an impression on my mother was through other enhancement in
impression management. My mom never cared too much about what other people thought of her,
but she always tried to make other people happy because that was how she was raised to be. As a
little girl she would always tell me that if I liked something someone was wearing, or thought
they were pretty, that I should just tell them. My mother would say that a simple compliment will
instantly put a smile on their face because in todays society it is rare that people try to make
others happy. She not only told me this constantly but she also did it herself. My mother enjoyed
giving people compliments because she had battled depression for a while and knew how big of
an impact a small compliment can make on someone. Anywhere we would go she would try her
hardest to make others smile.
I always admired her for this because in todays society, especially in teenaged girls, it is
more important to make themselves feel better about themselves by bringing others down.
Most people become mean girls due to their own insecurity, and self-esteem issues that
arise from within, therefore, they try to make others sad or upset to make themselves feel better,
(Stopfer et al., 2014). Knowing that my mother was more interested in making others happy than
her own self-image meant the world to me because it was so rare to see. To this day she still will
compliment anyone and everyone if she truly likes or admires something about someone.
Personally I think it is her best quality and not that many people are like that or would ever think
to do anything like that, therefore she is my role model. I aspire to be like her since she has
stayed consistent with this aspect of her for as long as I can remember.
Concept 2: Consistency

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Another reason I admire (or my mother has been a significant influence on me) is that she
is always consistent. Being consistent with her verbal and nonverbal communication let me know
that I could trust her and what to look for in other people. For example, Similar to most mothers,
my mother would say she loved me, every chance she had, but she also showed her love for me
in other ways. One of my most vivid memories is when I was in elementary school. I usually had
the same routine every day if I didnt go to day care. When I would be ready to go to elementary
school, my mother would make sure I had everything:; my lunch, a coat, and shoes. Going
through the checklist was a key feature of her communication staying consistent because nonverbally she was showing me attention and showing that she really did care. Once I passed the
check-list, she would slowly walk by my side all the way to the entrance of my elementary
school. I relied on her every day to show that she cared about me, whether it be walking with me
to school, walking to the bus stop, or even just staying consistent with making sure I had
everything I needed. She stayed consistent for as long as I can remember.
Even today my mother regularly checks up on me with a couple texts, or calls, each
week. Simple things similar to little texts to check up on me show genuine love because she is
going out of her way to ask how I am doing. Its easy to trust and believe someone who stays
consistent with their word. Before every soccer game she would make me run through a list of
things I needed, and even though it was annoying sometimes, I knew it was out of love. Most
parents constantly tell their children that they love them, and they show them through non-verbal
communication such as body language, actions, or even how they talk. Unconsciously, as human
beings, we look for small things in order to make opinions, or decisions about a person. Small
factors such as the way one talks, acts, or even presents themselves allows a person to decide if
they trust them, like them, or consider them a valuable person in their life, (Kressel & Uleman,

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2014). Staying consistent between non-verbal and verbal communication is a simple way our
brains connect the two.
One thing my mother always says is that she will always be with me when I needed her.
When a child hears those words their eyes light up, and their heart is filled with happiness
immediately. She meant it literal, meaning anytime I had a bad day or needed her comfort she
would be there. My mother worked long and hard hours all night as a nurse at a local hospital.
She still spent any minute she could with me, even if she was sleep deprived and exhausted. She
would rather spend time with me and make me happy rather than catching up on sleep or
spending time with her friends. By her physically always being there for me to hug or play with,
and her saying she would do so, showed me she truly cared because of her consistency and
sacrifices. This was just one other way she stayed consistent with me. Being shown consistency
through verbal and non-verbal communication also showed me what to look for in people for
trust.
Trust is a main step that children must learn in life because it is the basis for every
opinion, or impression that is made once someone is older, whether it is done consciously or
unconsciously, (Woffhechel et al., 2014). Therefore anytime someone said one thing but did
another, or acted the slightest bit sketchy, I knew not to trust them. I knew this from the years of
trust built with my mother because she showed me what love and trust really was through her
consistency. Through-out my life I have been extremely careful with who I trust because of how
well I find holes in other peoples stories. To this day I still am that way and I think it is one of
the best things I have learned in my life because it has saved me from being in bad situations or
being hurt.

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My mom continues to stay consistent by the way she supports me or listens to me. She
has constantly said she would support me through my college and career decision. She has never
liked University of Kentucky because her mom never liked them. I believe it is because of
jealousy due to the basketball team always doing well in season games. When I told her I made
my decision that I wanted to go to UK for college, she was truly happy for me on making my
decision. At first she didnt fully believe me because of how indecisive I am since I like to think
about every little thing before I make a decision. But once I went through the acceptance process
she told me how proud she was and through the years of practice I could tell she was being
honest. She also has supported me through my many career changes even to this day. I am
currently a Human Health Science major on a pre-PA track, but I had just called her a few weeks
back ranting about how I think I want to go to medical school now. All she did was listen and say
she would support me with any decision I make. I know she is being honest through her lifelong
consistency and I know I can always count on her as well through her consistency with being
there for me.
Concept 3: Behavior Matching
The last way my mother has made an impact on me and my impressions of her has been
through her lack of behavior matching. Although it has been shown that naturally everyone
wants to fit into the social norm that they are raised into, my mom was her own person no matter
what. Women tend to have the most difficulty with going against social norms, they tend to crave
the aspect of fitting in and being just like everyone else, (Gieseking, 2007). I was raised in
Worthington, Ohio, which at the time was not a rundown area but also wasnt the best area to
raise a family. Before the start of third grade my family picked up our lives and moved to a
wealthier area about thirty minutes away. Most of the district was higher middle-class and on the

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outskirts, where I moved to, were getting by, but barely comfortably. My parents wanted my
brother and I to have a good education so they made the sacrifice of trying to give us everything.
The new area we lived in, Powell, Ohio, was a lot different. The parents were all snobby, nosy,
and just plain rude. They acted like a group of popular high school girls, always gossiping. My
mom realized this quickly so she didnt try to make friends with them because she knew she
didnt want to be like that.
Throughout my life my mom has been nothing but herself, and she encouraged my
brother and me to do the same. If my mother wasnt the way she was, I can honestly say I would
be a completely different person. Sure, I didnt have many friends in my new town but I didnt
care because I knew I didnt want to become like them. I can also say that my mom is one of a
kind since she may be the only person I know who has stayed true to herself and hasnt changed
based on social norms. She doesnt like to dress up in dresses and pearls, she likes to sit on a
couch and watch football games. In my town, most moms are the opposite, but mine didnt mind
that she was different, she actually embraced it. Today she is still the same person she was when
I first met her, a strong, independent, and genuine person which is shown ideally through her
lack of behavior matching.
Conclusion
In conclusion, through impression management, I am able to explain my mothers
influence on me through self enhancement, consistency, and behavior matching. I also am able to
show how I formed my initial impressions of her using the concepts of physical appearance and
assumed similarity. My mother is one of a kind and I am glad that I have followed him her
footsteps for the most part. She has and will continue to be the most influential person I know.
Im glad that I am so similar to her because she is one of my biggest role models and I hope I can

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impact my childrens lives as much as she has to mine. Many people are impacted most by their
parents, and become similar to them, which is shown in the phrase, the apple doesnt fall far
from the tree.

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References
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