A Series of Poems

By: Claire Lewis

Monster.
Some people think its okay.
They think its okay.
Its not okay.
You cant treat somebody like they are less than what they are
You cant make them feel like they arent enough
Because you are the one who needs to change
You
The Bully
You cant crush people like ants on a sidewalk
You cant tear them down until you are on top
You cant.
I dont know
I just dont know why
Why
Why must you take apart a person
Why must you drill into their head false notions
That they are nothing
That they are worthless
That they dont matter
Because that is not true
And you know that too
You know
You know
You know
But you do it anyway
You dont know
I dont think you know
I dont think you know how much punch your words pack
I dont think you know how much pain you truly do cause
And for what

What could they have possibly done to you

Why do you think that you can do this
You do it because...
Exactly
You cant answer that
You cant
You cant
You cant
No
You wont
You refuse to answer that
You refuse to accept the fact
The fact that you created a monster
You unleashed the beast
You see
The beast isnt them
You turned yourself
Into a monster

Tried.
She sits there
Just watching
Waiting
Listening.
She knows before it even happens.
Boom.
Shes on the floor
Someone has pushed her off the chair
She tries to get up
She does
But they push her back down

One kick
Two
Then the real punches roll in
Fat
Worthless
Waste of space
Those are the ones that stay with you
She knows better than to speak
And after awhile
She picks herself up
Finally
She is home
Her so called safe haven
Opens her computer
Big mistake
Messages surround her
The words
Oh those words
She cant escape them
Why, she asks herself
Why me?
What did I do to deserve this
The voices answer that for her
You were born
You were a mistake
You arent wanted
You arent loved
And at that moment
She starts to believe it
Maybe I shouldnt be here
Maybe I should just

Go
Floating
Just floating
Thud
She is not floating anymore
She is gone
Those bullies
Those tormentors
They didnt think she would do it
They never do
They never know the true consequences
Of their actions
They dont
And it is their fault
Because they know that it didnt have to happen
It didn't have to end like this
They know
If they had simply killed her with kindness
Kindness
Instead of hatred and animosity
Then they wouldnt be here
And she wouldnt be there
Lost
I thought, if I change
If I just changed
Then maybe they would like me
But you can't change your whole being
You can't change every single thing
You can't change who YOU are
That didn't stop me
It just broke me

Trying to create something out of nothing

Now that is the real challenge
Because you think you can do it
But you can't
You think you change
But you can't
Then suddenly
You are lost
In a void of self destruction and self hatred
Nothing more than an empty shell still breathing
And you still don't look like them
You probably never will
And you have to learn to accept that
Black or White
Race.
Society turned it into such an ugly thing
The pigment of our skin now defines us
It is now who we are
And where we are going
And where we are from
It is black vs white
Day against night
And you can't escape it
Because you don't get to choose your race
You don't get to choose how people treat you
The sterotypes that come with the skin that you wear
The harsh looks and the glares that tear
Away from who you truly are
A human being
Someone who deserves to be judged on their character
Not their color
Who deserves respect and humanity
Because we are not our races

We are not the exterior of our bodies

The actions and things we do
How we live our life
That is the only thing we may be judged on
And I hope one day we can just look at races as what they are
A biological factor in the DNA that is us
Not as colors that determine our worth
Judge
You dont get to judge me
For who you say I am
Because I am more than that
I am so much more than that
Who are you
Who are you
Who are you to think
You know who I am
My story
My struggles
My life is not a trial
I am not the guilty party
And you are not the judge
Become
She didnt know how it happened
Or why
But it did
And it was going to take a long time to fix
How she had become so lost
So far down the rabbit hole
That the same Alice was never coming back
And the things she swore would never happen
Swept over her like dominoes falling in a line
One by one
Each more powerful than the last

Until the last one fell

And picking them all back up
And putting them back in their place
Was too difficult
It almost wasnt worth it
But that didnt stop her from trying
Look
I see you
I see you
I saw you
I still see you
All I see is you
Everywhere, and in anything
In everything
It took me years
To rebuild what you broke
Inside of me
And now
We meet again
After all this time, after everything that happened
I brace myself
I try not to
But I cant resist
I know you saw me
As I glance up, instead of your eyes I see
Those eyes that used to give me hope
So full of laughter
Now they wont even look at me
Please,
Look at me
Deserve
Some people dont deserve what they have
They dont understand

Privilege is power
Power
You have the means to do great things
Other people
Less fortunate people
Would love to do something good
But just dont have the resources to do it
Those people deserve to live a great life
A life full of positivity and hope
Not selfishness and greed
Maybe one day you will learn
Change
Everyone thinks they can change the world
I mean, why not
The thing no one tells you
Is that there are just too many things wrong with it
For one single person to do everything
Well its unlikely, but not impossible
Yet, if we just all strive
To make small changes right in our own community
We might just be surprised at how multiple small changes
Create one big wave of change
Ghost
Running
She was running
From who, she couldnt remember
She couldnt think about that
All that was on her mind
Was her feet keep hitting pavement
Except they werent on pavement anymore
Bam.
Boom.
Her head slammed down right behind her feet

But those werent her feet

She rolls over
She has to get going again
They might find her
Before she goes, something grabs her hand
She looks over - its a girl
She doesnt look hurt, but she is looking at her with a questioned face
I have to go she says
No wait, are you okay?
Im fine
Running, just keep running
No, please, stop!
Who are you?
Nothing will make her answer that
Because everyone thinks she is dead
And little does that girl know
She just saw a ghost
Think
You never did, did you
I mean I guess you had to
You were alive
But that doesn't mean that it worked
You weren't stupid
You just chose not to be smart
You chose not to think
Progress
Always trying
Always going for it
It has been a lifelong goal
To see progress in my life
From my childhood
To where I am now
In the actions I complete

I just want to make progress

I Have a Dream
MLKJ
He had a dream
His dream inspired me to dream too
He believed in something so much
And fought for it until the very end
I have a dream
That one day I will be proud
Of myself
Encourage
Keep going
She always said
Hold your head up
Never let anyone walk all over you
For you are worth more than that
Encourages me everyday
Restoring positivity
Everyday we see negative things
It is a part of life
But it is what you do about
Those negative things
And how you move past them
How you restore positivity
In the world
Obstacle
Changing is hard
Changing old habits is even harder
But sometimes you have to do it
I mean no matter what, you have to keep going
You have to leap over those obstacles

And if you fall, keep going

Stop Wishing, Start Doing
We need to start implementing
Start doing the things we say we should
Because saying and doing
Are two very different things
Determinate
Don't let anyone keep you from your dreams
Stay determined
And never lose sight of what is right
For you can and will make it
Believe
Many people
In many different places
Believe in many different things
But all that matters
Is that you don't let anyone make you stop believing
Carry On
When life gets you down
It may be the hardest thing you have to do
Carry on and keep going
It is not easy
And people will tell you to quit
But you can't give up
It's worth it
Keep your Head Up
Don't let your crown fall off
It was put there for a reason
By a certain person
Who knew you could handle the responsibilty

And I know you can

Don't let it fall
Glory
Hands to the heavens
Common said
They had their hands to the heavens
And they cried Glory
Because they weren't going to lose that battle
They were fighting for everyone
Selma
It will never be forgotten
The city where history was made
Where a bridge was made a landmark
And freedom prospered
It will forever stand for the brave souls
Who dared to make a change
June 26, 2015
The day that everyone could love who they wanted
Something that was long overdue
It wasn't easy
And the battle was fought by many people
Over many decades
They refused to quit
Mandela
Imprisoned for 27 years
27 years of solitude
Of planning to come back and help this country
Become great again
Build Up
Don't stop trying

To build up what was broken

Chances are its better now
Fight for what is right
Even if others are against it
Don't stop
Never stop
Building up a fight
To protect what you think is right
Love Yourself
Even though sometimes you might think the world is telling you to do otherwise
And you are bombarded with this mold of who to be and how to act
And you just start wondering, am I good enough?
This is when you need to learn to love yourself
It isn't easy, but letting people and magazine articles run your life
Well, that just isn't much of a life
And you can't swap self love for someone else's love
Because you need to learn to love yourself
Before you can fully love someone else
Accepting who you are
Embracing it
It Is worth it
You Can't...
Fix all of my mistakes
Or try to make me someone I'm not.
You can't just assume that I will follow the status quo
Because I make my own path and do my own thing
No matter how hard I try, I can't do anything right
But then again, maybe I'm not trying hard enough
We Should...
All be equal and
Love one another and

Not judge one another and

Treat one another with respect.
We should walk in each others shoes
Hear each others stories
And not make assumptions on people we know nothing about.
We should try to fix the problems we created
Or at the very least,
We need to try
Brilliance
Common sense and using your instincts is just as brilliant
As being able to solve math equations
I mean, which one will be able to solve the equation of life?

Extraordinary
Things that happen to extraordinary people
Aren't always new or exciting or the best thing ever
But does that make them any less extraordinary
Empathy
You put yourself in others shoes
And try to feel what they feel
Putting away all thoughts of yourself
And seeing how you can help
That is empathy
Understanding where they are coming from
And not judging them for it
The Alphabetical Struggle of My Life
A is for allowing you into my life and not giving a second thought into how that was going to affect
me,
B is for breaking over and over again but always having enough duct tape around to hold me together
until the next time

C is for crying and crying and crying because my life is falling apart and I don't know how to fix it
D is for destroying my life one bad choice after the next and never looking behind me to see the
damage I left behind
E is for eating my pain over and over again even when my stomach can't take anymore and I can't see
through the tears
F is for forgetting that I once had a family but I pushed them all away because I was ruining their lives
G is for greatness that I could have achieved if I had just worked harder in life instead of hardly
working at all
H is for hearing all the great things that people are doing with their lives while all I hear is the sound of
my cries
I is for indescribably always feeling like I'm sinking and that I will never be able to swim afloat
J is for justice and how that is exactly what I got for not trying harder to do better
K is for killing myself slowly with every bad choice I make, digging myself deeper and deeper into a
whole
L is for letting this happen, letting my life ger to a point where I don't even know if its worth living
anymore
M is for maybe and how that answer has turned into my excuse because it sounds better than saying no
N is for never knowing when to seek help, and always thinking that I'm fine
O is for owning up to the mistakes I've make, which is part of the recovery process
P is for please, someone, anyone will you help me clean up the mess that is my life
Q is for questioning why I let myself sink so low, and why I didn't even attempt to lift myself up
R is for readjusting and turning my life around for the better
S is for standing up and trying to change rather than giving up
T is for transforming into someone that I would be proud of
U is for underestimating the strength I possessed in changing my life around
V is for very understanding friends and family who still support me no matter what
W is for waking up one day and feeling happy for once
X is for xylophones and the beautiful sounds they make
Y is for yearning to try my best and to keep moving forward
Z is for zipping through life happier than ever before
Check all that apply
We all know what it is
On every standardized test
Circle in the bubble

Check all of the boxes

That make up who you are
Well where is the human being one?
Because I'd like to try checking that one off
And why does my race matter to you
It doesn't tell you anything about me
Or the way I learn
So, yeah
I'll check off your boxes
And fill in your bubbles
But I refuse to let that mark on the paper
Define who I am
Just because...
Just because you like girls and are a girl
Doesn't make you weird
Just because your mom is one color and your dad is another
Does not make you worth less than anyone else
just because people tell you something
does not make it true
we live in a society of different everything
and it is good to both embrace our differences
while keeping in mind our similarities
Only you could...
look at me and make me feel safe
hug me and make me feel whole
tell me that the world was a mix of good and bad
not always a perfect fairytale
and make me believe you
you taught me to be myself
and only you could've made
being yourself sound like fun
only you
could bring out

the best in me
Bridge of Broken Dreams
finding yourself and who you want to be
is never easy.
And to do so, you have to cross multiple bridges
A bridge of love
A bridge of heartbroken
A bridge of unfairness
A bridge of stress
A bridge of broken dreams
You might cross each of these bridges multiple times
Or you might create your own
And when your having difficulty crossing them
Don't forgot the bridge of love
Underneath them all to catch you
Incase you fall