TS TT RT
5 CBS wenn
dort tra oan ames nur plgpecezs teat
oor ee eet re
FE Gus Mia Sancta mn Den te
Spare Gil tenet tee re ey poe
SPST agek We vTRGen ee nl ae
ESAS Saeahon a weal hey shouehave ets
2. Typos, proof ead. Alt of You
2: Proof ead! Agree wth Jordan on using less "you"
2. Good points. Just need to work on dierent wording.
Personal | peleve that colge athletes should get pais. As
eae he
gars Sepa pence sae
hem Slaying ao tas te|
{oypresponte was too shor anda ot cover he
hin ne was inthe dott, not so much of jut forthe religious part,
bil for fre fact ne Nad The Crgwd in contol ang calm sith 8 prayer
Eiiea of st avi whet happened andl te roma gt
‘eal ead but anawered in one sentence ith lot of
Yeuiaczer was ooos butts on one sentence and trans
TSO ATL Be
Back up ideas, no You
allege very much woth he money and ime. pean do nat at
Spportiny? Golde is exoenaive but he eeucaton and Waring”
Ble gl tufts wort i lg rales ao vile
vay mes caieers dependon a degree. ne
2: grammar mistake but cher than that very wel wniten
wih 8o0d pans.
Back up ideas 9
er ae aoe ep cere asTT A
2 CBS wenn
008 word choices 4
Laat utes caper on wate ent
smpettion afd keeping uo in the classroom Sih
eet ey ee eon
Brees Cgc bucecrte a No gap ate
‘at Students could we a rosiher Pressure on techs toay ean
etinotes tac inc emenen,
reat pins but could keep going, moce examples. 3TST
Sng Shoei whats ight fer You vou senreh on colcge saure fara,
Shs fon fod ary celeste anda! vou mht ake oi
Seo tnaa cca te ay ee
SPs injertragen ienareappicable. the Mos! unhelbll par Fo
‘end tg arcl i segng te parent ax nirmatin ange, fe
eh Bale al al eat a he Gnereanamen, Pat ot
‘eS ime none ecahing "Ss the Baseet Snalenae 6 vollge
Search s monly nsing tne ght colege’ and tase a
Fotmitn to meip me bet oy atte
‘comma errors. 3
Few commas erors-3
4- rest points
n5)8 ing Rate he cnidng age Would fut many cobege
rN EER eh
Tercera th seta bloc gme*
{fey nk Botore {so they canbe ready turn At and co ful out
Saget Leiba cal acs lee
3 does not few smoothly
3- doesn't ow great