Courtney Owen

10/1/15
CURR 611

Due:

Coaching Outline
Goal of the
instruction
Who?

The goal of this coaching lesson was to teach Emily

how to mediate conflict and use intentional
questions and intentional (choice) words to assist
others in finding a solution to a problem.
Preparation/
Prior to the instruction and overview of conflict
Considerations mediation, I gathered notes and strategies of
conflict mediation from someone who trained Area
Coordinators in Residence Life at Geneseo how to
handle difficult situations.
I used his framework and notes to initially guide my
lesson:
MEDIATION is the act or process of intervention
between conflicting parties to promote
reconciliation, settlement, or compromise
Stages of Mediation
Stage 1: Introduction
Create a safe and secure environment where each
feels valued.
Stage 2: Storytelling, offering understanding
Get As perspective on the situation, summaries it
and identify hopes and concerns. Do the same for B.
Listen for issues and try to identify common ground.
Stage 3: Problem solving, building ownership
Clarify the issues. Identify common concerns; help
the parties find common ground. Work on one issue
at a time; start with the issues easiest to resolve.
Stage 4: Agreement and seeking sustainability
We must work toward:
Increased empathy
Increased healthy dialogue
Move from positions to solutions
When I met with Emily, before starting I her why she
was interested in learning how to mediate conflict.
By understanding her interest and reasoning behind

it, I could better cater the conversation and

examples to fit her situation and needs. Her
situation and interest is what ultimately drove the
conversation and coaching lesson.
Process of
instruction
How?

1. I chose an environment that would be conducive

to learning and was a supportive environment in
which [she felt comfortable] trying out new
strategies and concepts. (Johnston, 2004, p. 64)
a. We chose to have the discussion and
session in her apartment at her kitchen
table
2. Asked for interest and influence
a. As aforementioned, in order to lead a
discussion on mediation, it is important to
know the context in which someone would
like to use these strategies. By
understanding Emilys motives for learning
how to have a difficult conversation, I was
able to provide an overview of how we
would walk through the process and better
be able to apply these strategies to her
situation.
3. Provided an overview of Mediation
a. I briefly explained what mediation was and
how I used it in my line of work. As an Area
Coordinator and a previous Resident
Assistant, I was familiar with sitting down
with two parties and having a discussion
about issues, diversity, conflict, and coming
to solutions. It can be a difficult role
because you are asked not to go in a fix a
problem, but instead to be an active
listener, clarify thoughts, establish points of
views, and guide others to find solutions. I
then briefly explained how we would go
about the coaching lesson, first discussing
how Emily should set up the conversation,
go over the established rules of the
conversation with the party members, show
her how to use choice words, and then role
play the situation.
4. Discussed the Benefits of Mediation
a. While mediating conflict and having those
difficult conversations can be intimidating,
we also discussed why mediation is

beneficial as a whole. In regards to Emilys

situation, we discussed the benefits that
could come from a good mediation session
with the parties. These conversations open
up communication and establish rapport
among the parties, the mediator, and
others involved.
5. Role Played
a. After the previous discussions and an
overview of the steps of mediation (1.
introduction, 2. Storytelling, offering
understanding 3. Problem solving, building
ownership, 4. Agreement and establishing
sustainability) I allowed Emily to take on
the role of mediator and I played one of the
upset party members.
b. Emily practiced inviting me into the
conversation and establishing an
understanding. I provided an option in
which Emily could stop the conversation
and situation and ask questions.
6. Discussed Potential Outcomes
a. Emily was worried about some of the worst
case scenarios in which the participants
were uncompliant or had very negative
attitudes/ things to say. We used this
opportunity to discuss how using choice
words can provide perspective to someone
with a different view-point, and also
providing the mediator the opportunity to
use choice words when it is hard to answer
a statement: Thats a very interesting way
of looking at it. I hadnt thought of it that
way (Johnston, 2004, pg. 63).
b. We used a lot of what if (Johnston,
2004, pg. 52) scenarios and conversations.
7. De-Briefed & Reflected
a. Finally we de-briefed and talked about what
Emily found useful, and what she would
change or say differently when it came
time to mediate the conflict. We reflected
on my coaching style and some of the
questions she asked. We emphasized on
what parts she is sure about and which
parts she was not sure about (Johnston,
2004, pg. 42) going forward.

Reflection:
What did I
learn about
the way that I
teach/coach?

Review:
Did I
employ
choice
words?
What
worked?
What
didnt
work?
What
would I
do
different
ly next
time?

Conflict Mediation in itself requires one to be

intentional with his or her questions and words that
they use. It is an extra challenge to then
continuously reflect on what words to use in order to
deflate a situation or ask those hard questions. By
teaching this particular skill I was able to employ the
use of choice words within the strategies and then
easily transfer that language over to coaching Emily
while she practiced the skills and language. It
assisted us both in practicing choice words and
becoming more reflective and intentional mediators.
Choice words: As a mediator I was able show how to
use choice words with students and as a coach I was
then able to use choice words to guide Emily to be a
more authentic and comprehensive listener. We
practiced inviting others into a conversation, just
like teachers would invite students into the learning
process or invite a child to be a reader, writer,
painter, poet, etc. We practiced providing
perspective to others with our words such as saying
I noticed you said this and then asking for
clarification or exulting a comment/observation for
being empathetic. A mediators role is to ultimately
provide perspective using intentional questions and
words to guide the parties to come to their own
conclusions and solutions together. That would not
be possible without using choice words and the
concepts of noticing, knowing, identifying, agency,
and generalizing (Johnston, 2004).
What worked: By focusing the lesson around the
specific situation Emily wanted to apply this skill to,
the discussion and lesson was a great success and
each question and role played scenario was valuable
with engaged conversation. I would highly
recommend anyone who coaches a lesson to focus
on the students interest and frame the lesson
around that.
What didnt work: I am having a difficult time finding
an aspect in the coaching lesson that did not work
well for us. We did not set an established end time,
and therefore spent hours discussing the situation
and strategies to attack worst case scenarios. Some
may see this lack of scheduled time as a problem for
repeating in future lessons.
Do differently: Upon reflection, we both agreed that
it would have been more beneficial in the teaching

process to have allowed me to begin as the

mediator in the situation she provided. She would
then have been able to see the strategies I spoke
about being practiced in a teacher guided
instruction. I should have then allowed for any
questions she had and proceeded to have Emily
then mediate the situation from either where I left
off, or in a new situation.

References
Johnston P. H. (2004). Choice Words. (Portland, MN: Stenhouse).